Not physically attracted to partner, can that be changed? (srs)

[8thgen]

Girl is legit perfect in all areas of life, been together on and off for 7 years.

But I am not attracted to her physically. I was initially for the first few years, but now I'm not.

Combination of her getting older, alcohol smoking and stress from working as a lawyer is showing on her body. Also, she is not as horny as she used to be.

Has anyone had success re-igniting the flame? Or does it just all go downhill from here boyo? (she is 32)

[Polaris]

Girl is legit perfect in all areas of life, been together on and off for 7 years.

But I am not attracted to her physically. I was initially for the first few years, but not I'm not.

Combination of her getting older, alcohol smoking and stress from working as a lawyer is showing on her body. Also, she is not as horny as she used to be.

Has anyone had success re-igniting the flame? Or does it just all go downhill from here boyo? (she is 32)

Tour is over.

[Austanian]

Her letting herself go is hard to get around. My wife did that for a while, but lost the weight eventually.

Besides her having a lifestyle change you can go to a health clinic and get yours and her hormone levels checked. Not sure how it works in Canada, but in the US you can get back to teenage horniness levels pretty easy if you can pay for it.

[HouseOfISRAEL]

Tours over boyo

go to twinks/sissies next

[skinnyfat88]

Needs to make it a priority to get back in shape but it won't work unless she actually wants to and is doing it for herself, not just for you.

[etet1919]

I vote "no." Once that physical/sexual chemistry is gone.......But, damn, since when is 32 effin old??? Contrary to popular belief on the misc, AGE is NOT a factor in sexiness all the time!!!!!! Besides other factors, it's how well someone "ages"...meaning, genetics and how well they can take care of themselves... If she quit smoking, watched her diet, exercised and renewed her energy and "interest" in your sex life, could you see YOURSELVES reigniting that flame??

[Tornach]

I bet she spends a lot of time in the sun too huh?


Smoking and drinking? Good night sweet youth!

[Titansfan08]

Smokes and drinks... even if she was hot that's a hard pass

[sword_]

Did you know she was a smoker prior?

[USxARMYxPRVT]

Yeah get a new one

[Austanian]

I vote "no." Once that physical/sexual chemistry is gone.......But, damn, since when is 32 effin old??? Contrary to popular belief on the misc, AGE is NOT a factor in sexiness all the time!!!!!! Besides other factors, it's how well someone "ages"...meaning, genetics and how well they can take care of themselves... If she quit smoking, watched her diet, exercised and renewed her energy and "interest" in your sex life, could you see YOURSELVES reigniting that flame??

Despite what you may hope typical femininity and attractiveness is based on traits that are dependent upon fertility and parts that gravity tends to weigh down on.

Gives most females a limited life span of "attractive". You could always go your route, but I am sure you scare the chit out of people who aren't bodybuilders.

[suprabum]

smoking = goodbye sweet youth.



time to gtf outta dodge

[etet1919]

Despite what you may hope typical femininity and attractiveness is based on traits that are dependent upon fertility and parts that gravity tends to weigh down on.

Gives most females a limited life span of "attractive". You could always go your route, but I am sure you scare the chit out of people who aren't bodybuilders.

Listen, before I came onto this site I was very confident in my sexual attractiveness, even as a natty BB...because (even young) men, IRL, found me "sexy and attractive." And they were not bodybuilders...lol... And they still do...IRL That's where it counts, I'm learning...lol. But, I admit, of course I don't have the same exact face I had in my 20's, or even 30's....but I'm good for my "route"....

I am more modest than you "buoyos" think....meaning I "forgot" to give myself credit for admitting that ppl still think I'm pretty! Amazing, huh?

[Legz422]

The fact that she is a smoker and a drinker is making me think she’s not going to improve physically. Unless she gives them both up. What is the likelihood of that? Has she ever been active and exercised? If not tours prob over.

[FLman333]

Pics to determine my approval

[Austanian]

Listen, before I came onto this site I was very confident in my sexual attractiveness, even as a natty BB...because (even young) men, IRL, found me "sexy and attractive." And they were not bodybuilders...lol... And they still do...IRL That's where it counts, I'm learning...lol. But, I admit, of course I don't have the same exact face I had in my 20's, or even 30's....but I'm good for my "route"....

You do you... I find competitors sexy, but that doesn't mean the general population does.

You choose the person you want to be... Live with it or change it. Most dudes are scared off by fit females. However, that doesn't mean that the dudes you are into are scared by it.

[chickenbroccoli]

It’s okay to have some strange every once and awhile. Just wrap it up

[Aristotelian]

I vote "no." Once that physical/sexual chemistry is gone......

I would tend to agree but also point out that sometimes people 'stop feeling physical attraction' to someone because of underlying emotional issues...either their own, or in the relationship, etc. So it really depends 'why' he isn't attracted to her any more - he says as well that 'she isn't that horny any more', and for some guys it doesn't mean he doesn't think she's hot. But...most guys I know don't want to have to pray that the stars and sun align so maybe she might get a bit moist down there once a month, ya dig?

[GravityLee]

I hate these threads because.. every girl ive dated more than a year i end up feeling like op. I honestly dont think im supposed to just fuk one woman the rest of my life. With that said heres GL’s life tips to fuk the same woman a long time:

- in the beginning of the relationship explain weight gain is a deal breaker regardless of marriage, kids, etc and you will take this as an invitation to have sex with other women

- in the beginning of the relationship politely explain somebodys gonna be sucking your d on the reg. Her choice if its gonna be her or someone else.

- i usually have the at some point id like to piitb talk but this isnt a deal breaker for me meaning other than being on this site im def straight

- if youre masturbating to porn its already game over. You should have a collection of nudes of her you jerk to if thats necessary. I find most women i date only want sex every other day so im probably going to crack one off nonsex days

- what the female physique/bber said is something most of you are too stupid to understand. The girl still getting a $50+ salon job, nails painted, special diet (salads, vegan, keto, whatever), hitting gym 3x a week, wearing designer clothes and heels or designer yoga pants and sports bra on her off days is what you want. Noone wants to be with a slob weaing mom pants, no makeup and newbound sneakers.

I cant really help you op because im a quitter and ive always thrown in the towel in your scenario (no kids). But. It would take you both becoming the kind of people that exercise 3 or more days a week that start wearing cologne/perfume, dressing well, eating a salad a day, counting calories and walking etc etc to fix it. Here is the number one most important thing that must happen:

You both have to be that person when your partner isnt around. One of you died or is out of town for the next month doesnt matter youre doing all that chit and not to fuk your partner, not to fuk someone new but for yourself because you love yourself srs

[JUSA]

Tour is over.

^ He's right you know.

30-35 is a common age for them to fall apart, looks-wise. Whereas, you have probably increased financially and quite possibly in the looks department as well. She'll be furious no matter how you end it, because looking as an outsider - you used her up during her prime years, if she doesn't lock you down she'll have to seriously downgrade and she will be angry and resentful at you for this.

End it, end it quick, end it fast and the sooner the better for her, every day she's losing value, so the longer you wait the more she'll have to downgrade.

[GravityLee]

We got it back, with a vengeance so I vote yes

But tbh that was down to me deciding to do something about post children weight and lack of fitness, and us deciding to do something about being us rather than theirs, and a healthy imagination

Wouldn’t have worked if only he wanted it tbh

Also remember that good sex and orgasms lead to women wanting more good sex and orgasms and unlike men, lack of good sex leads to less desire

This. You have to see it like you love yourself, your partner, your family and youre a team. Most important is communicate. Talk. Positive attitude. Focus on fixing things, not nagging or being negative. Winning mentality.

^ He's right you know.

30-35 is a common age for them to fall apart, looks-wise. Whereas, you have probably increased financially and quite possibly in the looks department as well. She'll be furious no matter how you end it, because looking as an outsider - you used her up during her prime years, if she doesn't lock you down she'll have to seriously downgrade and she will be angry and resentful at you for this.

End it, end it quick, end it fast and the sooner the better for her, every day she's losing value, so the longer you wait the more she'll have to downgrade.

There is a sort of sick truth to this and its why i wont date women in their 30s typically. Most men arent in a position to say these words and it be true though. Your average male over 30 is a beer gutted unfukable slob. These are also the words of someone that doesnt try to truly love a woman. When you decide to really love someone it wouldnt matter if they were a burn victim. You honestly believe God put this person in your life for a reason.

Everyone should spend some time with a ladies man or womanizer that is older and never married. Most of no strings sex is just a juvenile ego feeding endeavor driven by childish immaturity and insecurity and there is no real end to it. It ends with you alone in a hospital bed with kids that wont return your calls because they resent you for not returning their mothers love, with a woman that is like you and doesnt have a real connection, with people pitying you behind your back while you desperately show pictures of women youve had sex with in the past that wont return your calls.

[etet1919]

I would tend to agree but also point out that sometimes people 'stop feeling physical attraction' to someone because of underlying emotional issues...either their own, or in the relationship, etc. So it really depends 'why' he isn't attracted to her any more - he says as well that 'she isn't that horny any more', and for some guys it doesn't mean he doesn't think she's hot. But...most guys I know don't want to have to pray that the stars and sun align so maybe she might get a bit moist down there once a month, ya dig?

Maybe we should call in the "over-the-hill" Dr. Ruth? LOL...She probably knows more than ANY of us put togetha....lol....JK!!!


These boys are pretty much intimidated by me, huh? Sad, because I am a nice Catholic girl...

[MotorCityCobra]

- smokes and drinks on the reg
- perfect

pick one

[Aristotelian]

Maybe we should call in the "over-the-hill" Dr. Ruth? LOL...She probably knows more than ANY of us put togetha....lol....JK!!!

I can remember watching Dr. Ruth a long time ago...glad my partners never looked anything like that Speaking of 'over the hill':

We got it back, with a vengeance so I vote yes

But tbh that was down to me deciding to do something about post children weight and lack of fitness, and us deciding to do something about being us rather than theirs, and a healthy imagination

Wouldn’t have worked if only he wanted it tbh

Also remember that good sex and orgasms lead to women wanting more good sex and orgasms and unlike men, lack of good sex leads to less desire

That's what I was trying to say to OP about 'the relationship' - there are normally other factors aside from 'she went from GOAT bod to a little chub on her tummy and now my peepee doesn't work no more'. You guys decided to orient the relationship on yourselves...meaning you had some important talks. And I don't think the OP has done that yet with his partner...that's why I'm suggesting he do so before 'dumping her because I don't find her attractive' which, I'm not sure he's sure about.

[Hypernation]

I echo the sentiments of GL’s initial comment.

[8thgen]

A lot of truth has been spit in this thread and confirmed much of what I thought.

To answer a few questions, there was a long period in her life when she was squatting/lifting regularly, and not smoking and drinking. She wants to return to this so that's a definite positive.

Her being a lawyer has aged her (when she started drinking/smoking). Look at female litigation lawyer in their early 30s and you'll see what I mean. She is also really stressed out a lot which sometimes makes it harder for her to get in the 'mood'.

That being said, a few posts in here have given me hope that it's possible; whether it's probable depends I guess. The fact that some of you were able to re-ignite the flame def gives me hope...I was kind of afraid of being red pilled lol.

I'll give it a couple of months and see if we can lift together and stuff...she's been begging to come lift with me. Thanks misc

[kinzu1996]

dump her ass and find a younger sloot, bet if it was other way she would ride chads dik without you even knowing

[8thgen]

Needs to make it a priority to get back in shape but it won't work unless she actually wants to and is doing it for herself, not just for you.

We got it back, with a vengeance so I vote yes

But tbh that was down to me deciding to do something about post children weight and lack of fitness, and us deciding to do something about being us rather than theirs, and a healthy imagination

Wouldn’t have worked if only he wanted it tbh

Also remember that good sex and orgasms lead to women wanting more good sex and orgasms and unlike men, lack of good sex leads to less desire

I agree a lot with what was said here.

[8thgen]

Good sign

Return to playing around too ..get back to that effort to impress you put in during the early stages of dating

We forget that, we become accustomed to people and start to treat them worse than virtual strangers because we are so used to them being there, and there being plenty of time

Work life balance is important

I like this too. I always knew this but reflecting on it now, if she treated me more like she did when we were first going out, I would be all over her. I'm going to do it on my end.

[Horizon92]

Well OP, do you love her? Is she your life partner? IMO if you don't see yourself with this girl for the rest of your life, why put up with not being attracted to her? I think its pretty normal to get sexually bored with your partner over time, and it will probably go up and down. But if you aren't really commited aka children/marriage etc why bother? There is no guarantee any of that stuff will come around, meanwhile there are plenty of women you could be dating/banging/marrying that is all that and more.

That is assuming you do not have that deeper connection that makes it wortwhile sticking with her. If that is the case, just keep trying to solve those issues as you go.