Get me out of jury duty

[sy2502]

Ah the perks of being a naturalized citizen...

Any suggestions for getting myself excused? Here's what I've got so far:

- Bring a noose in the courtroom.
- Wear a T-shirt that says "Off with his head".
- Tell the judge I am for the death penalty. For everything.
- Show up with a Princess Leia hairdo.
- Show up in a Chewbacca costume.
- Show up naked.
- Snack on a bag of cat treats while being interviewed.
- Tell them my cat told me the guy is guilty.
- Tell them my psychiatrist told me I shouldn't be on a jury.
- Ask to be excused for 5 minutes in order to take my prescription of medical marijuana.
- Claim the judge touched me inappropriately.
- Claim to have slept with the defendant.


Anything else?

[Old-Time-Lifter]

Ah the perks of being a naturalized citizen...

Any suggestions for getting myself excused? Here's what I've got so far:

- Bring a noose in the courtroom.
- Wear a T-shirt that says "Off with his head".
- Tell the judge I am for the death penalty. For everything.
- Show up with a Princess Leia hairdo.
- Show up in a Chewbacca costume.
- Show up naked.
- Snack on a bag of cat treats while being interviewed.
- Tell them my cat told me the guy is guilty.
- Tell them my psychiatrist told me I shouldn't be on a jury.
- Ask to be excused for 5 minutes in order to take my prescription of medical marijuana.
- Claim the judge touched me inappropriately.
- Claim to have slept with the defendant.


Anything else?

I'd just go with a Reagan for President t-shirt. Where you're at that should work.

[sy2502]

I'd just go with a Reagan for President t-shirt. Where you're at that should work.

oooohhh, that gives me another idea!!! Anyone got a MAGA hat I can borrow? Being in the San Francisco area and all... they love Trump over here.

[Old-Time-Lifter]

oooohhh, that gives me another idea!!! Anyone got a MAGA hat I can borrow? Being in the San Francisco area and all... they love Trump over here.

I'm sure that would work, but you might get assaulted on the way to the Courthouse.

[sy2502]

I'm sure that would work, but you might get assaulted on the way to the Courthouse.

So tempted to send out an email on the generic alias here at work with title "ISO: MAGA hat". Just so see how quickly I get a call by HR.

[WillBrink]

Ah the perks of being a naturalized citizen...

Anything else?

Yes, go do your job as part of being a naturalized citizen of this great nation.

[xsquid99]

Getting out of jury duty is easy, if you get called up for questions they will typically ask you something along the lines of "Do you think you can be unbiased?" or something to that effect. All you have to do is say "If there is a defendant sitting in that seat odds are they did something wrong to be there, so in my mind they are already guilty".

You will be dismissed in about 2 seconds.

I love jury duty though, I've been called twice and sat through both cases. I feel like I'm doing my part of democracy.

[7Seconds]

Yes, go do your job as part of being a naturalized citizen of this great nation.

Just because we have a civic duty to be jurors doesn't mean that the citizens can't be upset about the process,the low pay, the last minute notice and other aspects of serving. The fact that the vast majority of people seem to think that it is OK to avoid jury duty indicates that the issue is perhaps deeper than these people just being jerks.

[sy2502]

Yes, go do your job as part of being a naturalized citizen of this great nation.

LOL I actually hope to be chosen for jury duty, I am curious to see what it's like. And I am not too in love with my work these days, so sad as it sounds, I don't even mind not to be a work. And because of where the Court is, it's counter commute, so I don't even have to do my daily sitting in chitty traffic for the day.

But everybody biches about jury duty so I thought I'd assimilate and do the same.

[Karl_Hungus]

Racism works....

[Fishman15]

LOL I actually hope to be chosen for jury duty, I am curious to see what it's like. And I am not too in love with my work these days, so sad as it sounds, I don't even mind not to be a work. And because of where the Court is, it's counter commute, so I don't even have to do my daily sitting in chitty traffic for the day.

But everybody biches about jury duty so I thought I'd assimilate and do the same.

I actually liked jury duty when I was chosen for a trial. Great learning experience.

[Karl_Hungus]

I actually liked jury duty when I was chosen for a trial. Great learning experience.

I suppose it depends on your experience. I was called twice, and both times I sat in a room doing nothing for days on end. Wasn't even interviewed. So, I look upon jury summons with a healthy dose of dread.

[GnomusMaximus]

I'm a Psychologist, I could write them a note.

[Bentley41]

Just dont go lol. Thats what i do

[Karl_Hungus]

Just dont go lol. Thats what i do

You'll get a bench warrant for that. Just skipping it is a pretty dumb idea.

[dalefredricks]

I had an old boss who is now in his 80's tell me that every time he got a letter to be summoned, he filled out the questionnaire with a crayon. He said he was never selected to appear. True or not, gotta be lulzy for the person who has to go through those responses. LOL

[Fishman15]

I suppose it depends on your experience. I was called twice, and both times I sat in a room doing nothing for days on end. Wasn't even interviewed. So, I look upon jury summons with a healthy dose of dread.

yes, waiting for a trial is the problem. I was actually surprised they kept me after choosing the jury. I actually knew the defendant as he was a doctor I had seen in the past. I didn't feel one way or the other about him when asked but still was surprised they didn't kick me out.

[ironwill2008]

I suppose it depends on your experience. I was called twice, and both times I sat in a room doing nothing for days on end. Wasn't even interviewed. So, I look upon jury summons with a healthy dose of dread.

I served one time, a couple of years ago; was placed in a pool of about 100 prospective jurors, and on my first day, was randomly chosen for one trail, a much-locally-publicized manslaughter case in which a little kid got killed. I had read about the case, and the POS defendant, in the local papers, and when the judge called me to the bench to ask me if I had prior knowledge or any bias, with the asshat defendant standing right near me with his court-appointed lawyer, I told the judge the guy was definitely guilty, no question. The judge thanked me, and dismissed me for the day. I only had to go to the courthouse one other day that week, and I was not selected. I missed out on one very high-profile murder case when the defendant pled guilty (on a plea-deal with the prosecutor) instead of standing trial.



BTW, that scumbag whose jury I was dismissed from went to trail the following week (it took several days to seat 12 people and 12 alternates who claimed impartiality), and the jury found him guilty after deliberating for all of 15 minutes. He's still in prison, and will be there for at least another 4-5 years. POS. Even right now, thinking about how that kid got killed, it still pisses me off that that prick will eventually get out of jail.

[WillBrink]

Just because we have a civic duty to be jurors doesn't mean that the citizens can't be upset about the process,the low pay, the last minute notice and other aspects of serving. The fact that the vast majority of people seem to think that it is OK to avoid jury duty indicates that the issue is perhaps deeper than these people just being jerks.

A large % think it's OK not to vote, and think Dancing with the stars is more important then space travel, etc, etc. Most people are idiots. If you follow what most people think as Ok because they think that, you're as much a part of the problem as the solution. See also tyranny of the majority.....

[WillBrink]

LOL I actually hope to be chosen for jury duty, I am curious to see what it's like. And I am not too in love with my work these days, so sad as it sounds, I don't even mind not to be a work. And because of where the Court is, it's counter commute, so I don't even have to do my daily sitting in chitty traffic for the day.

But everybody biches about jury duty so I thought I'd assimilate and do the same.

Well ok then! Carry on with the assimilation process.

[thomashenry]

Ah the perks of being a naturalized citizen...

Any suggestions for getting myself excused? Here's what I've got so far:

- Bring a noose in the courtroom.
- Wear a T-shirt that says "Off with his head".
- Tell the judge I am for the death penalty. For everything.
- Show up with a Princess Leia hairdo.
- Show up in a Chewbacca costume.
- Show up naked.
- Snack on a bag of cat treats while being interviewed.
- Tell them my cat told me the guy is guilty.
- Tell them my psychiatrist told me I shouldn't be on a jury.
- Ask to be excused for 5 minutes in order to take my prescription of medical marijuana.
- Claim the judge touched me inappropriately.
- Claim to have slept with the defendant.


Anything else?

I told them once, Where I actually made it to the Pool of nominees, it was a case where this Fine upstanding Citizen, allegedly shot a Police officer, well the Defense Atty asked me if there was anything that would cause me to be prejudice towards his client in the case, where I could not be objective and fair, I said No, I would be fine, he then asked me if I had any relative's in or had been in Law Enforcement, I said My Father In Law is a 22 Yr Veteran of the Los Angeles Police Dept and my Brother In law is an asst Warden at a Max Security Correctional Facility & a Member of a Federal SRT Squad, He said Have a good day Mr Eady, your Dismissed :]

[WillBrink]

I served one time, a couple of years ago; was placed in a pool of about 100 prospective jurors, and on my first day, was randomly chosen for one trail, a much-locally-publicized manslaughter case in which a little kid got killed. I had read about the case, and the POS defendant, in the local papers, and when the judge called me to the bench to ask me if I had prior knowledge or any bias, with the asshat defendant standing right near me with his court-appointed lawyer, I told the judge the guy was definitely guilty, no question. The judge thanked me, and dismissed me for the day. I only had to go to the courthouse one other day that week, and I was not selected. I missed out on one very high-profile murder case when the defendant pled guilty (on a plea-deal with the prosecutor) instead of standing trial.



BTW, that scumbag whose jury I was dismissed from went to trail the following week (it took several days to seat 12 people and 12 alternates who claimed impartiality), and the jury found him guilty after deliberating for all of 15 minutes. He's still in prison, and will be there for at least another 4-5 years. POS. Even right now, thinking about how that kid got killed, it still pisses me off that that prick will eventually get out of jail.

I was called into jury duty few years ago. The case was a known trouble maker from a town who was attempting to sue the LEO for breaking his civil rights or some some BS. He looked like a real winner to, tats on the face, jeans and sneakers in court, etc. Obviously the defense didn't want anyone who would be sympathetic to LE, so they couldn't dismiss me fast enough when I rattled off having been an adjunct trainer at S&W academy, worked with SWAT teams, etc. I'm not gonna lie, I would not have been an objective member of that jury so probably a good thing they dismissed me on that one. You'd have to show me some very convincing evidence before I'd have not given the LEO the benefit of the doubt in such a situation. Apparently the family was known for bringing nuisance suits like that that went no where.

[sy2502]

I actually liked jury duty when I was chosen for a trial. Great learning experience.

My husband got jury duty less than a year after we got citizenship and got a case of a guy accused of molesting his 5 year old stepdaughter. He did not have a good time, I can assure you.

My worry is that I am going to be in some ultra liberal jury that wants to get the guy off "because it's society's fault" or some other chit like that. A friend of mine ended up in a jury like that, where some guy was stabbed and ended up on a wheelchair peeing and pooping in a bag for the rest of his life, and the jury was squabbling on whether that constituted "disfigurement". I would have blown my top probably.

I'm a Psychologist, I could write them a note.

I don't think I can afford you

[ironwill2008]

I was called into jury duty few years ago. The case was a known trouble maker from a town who was attempting to sue the LEO for breaking his civil rights or some some BS. He looked like a real winner to, tats on the face, jeans and sneakers in court, etc. Obviously the defense didn't want anyone who would be sympathetic to LE, so they couldn't dismiss me fast enough when I rattled off having been an adjunct trainer at S&W academy, worked with SWAT teams, etc. I'm not gonna lie, I would not have been an objective member of that jury so probably a good thing they dismissed me on that one. You'd have to show me some very convincing evidence before I'd have not given the LEO the benefit of the doubt in such a situation. Apparently the family was known for bringing nuisance suits like that that went no where.

There'll never be a problem if we are true to ourselves, speak the plain truth, and then let the court decide if we meet the court's standards to sit on a jury.

My worry is that I am going to be in some ultra liberal jury that wants to get the guy off "because it's society's fault" or some other chit like that. A friend of mine ended up in a jury like that, where some guy was stabbed and ended up on a wheelchair peeing and pooping in a bag for the rest of his life, and the jury was squabbling on whether that constituted "disfigurement". I would have blown my top probably.

As above, just be true to yourself and your beliefs, go by the facts as presented by both the prosecution and the defense, make up your own mind as to guilt or innocence and then let the chips fall where they may. That's all that's expected of any juror.

[DuracellBunny]

2 days after I turned 18, a summons for jury duty arrived at my house, mailed on my birthday. Talk about taking the piss. I went in and did it and haven't been summoned since.

IMNSHO, if people avoid jury duty, they don't get the right to b!tch about the criminal justice system.

Sy, by the time you come out of there, you will be appalled at your fellow human beings. Most of the people dgaf whether the person is guilty or not, they just want to get out of there and go home asap. One strong juror can sway the whole jury, as people will give in and side with them.

[sy2502]

Sy, by the time you come out of there, you will be appalled at your fellow human beings. Most of the people dgaf whether the person is guilty or not, they just want to get out of there and go home asap. One strong juror can sway the whole jury, as people will give in and side with them.

Wow that's so encouraging dude, thank you!

Anyway apparently they have all the jurors they need, I don't need to go.

[Clinos]

sy, I feel like you must go because a lot of interesting stuff happens to you and the way you re-tell your experiences makes it worthwhile. So go.

I've never been selected for JD, gone a few times, answered a few questions, fell asleep a few times, but never selected. Always a bridesmaid. Funny story I moved across state once and got the notice where you have to call in and the clerk on the phone was like oh you moved eh? Do you want to come in? I wouldn't, think these cases are all *hitbirds, anyone breathing will lock him up. We both cracked up and that was that.

[shimmychongo]

Ah the perks of being a naturalized citizen...

Any suggestions for getting myself excused? Here's what I've got so far:

- Bring a noose in the courtroom.
- Wear a T-shirt that says "Off with his head".
- Tell the judge I am for the death penalty. For everything.
- Show up with a Princess Leia hairdo.
- Show up in a Chewbacca costume.
- Show up naked.
- Snack on a bag of cat treats while being interviewed.
- Tell them my cat told me the guy is guilty.
- Tell them my psychiatrist told me I shouldn't be on a jury.
- Ask to be excused for 5 minutes in order to take my prescription of medical marijuana.
- Claim the judge touched me inappropriately.
- Claim to have slept with the defendant.


Anything else?

tell them you're self employed and it's a financial hardship...

they'll excuse you without question,

[Brackneyc]

Just be a normal person who can think.

That ought to disqualify you.

[sy2502]

sy, I feel like you must go because a lot of interesting stuff happens to you and the way you re-tell your experiences makes it worthwhile. So go.

So why do I feel my life is boring as phuk then?

tell them you're self employed and it's a financial hardship...

they'll excuse you without question,

Don't you go to jail if you get caught lying to the judge?