I'm 25 years old and have decided I want to be a professional soccer player [srs]

[feardafronfz3]

With the World Cup in full swing I've come to the realization that I'm unhappy with what I'm doing in life and want to make a drastic change. That change will be developing myself into a premier soccer player. While watching the games in my cramped 1 bedroom apartment I see these unathletic manlets making millions of dollars and playing at the highest stage and I ask myself, "why can't that be me?". Then it hit me, it absolutely can be!

A little background: I have no formal soccer experience but am quite athletic (played lacrosse and basketball as well as ran track). I look at these players at the WC and know for a fact that I can outrun the majority of them and am stronger than 80%. So in order to acquire the necessary skillset to be a prolific player here is my preliminary training regimen :

Dribbling- 1 week
Shooting with both feet- 1 week/foot
Tricks-2 weeks
Flopping-2 weeks

So I feel that in 6 weeks I'll be able to transform myself into a world class player. Now onto my plan. I don't wish to be a benchwarmer so playing in the EPL would not be my first option. I want to guarantee myself maximum exposure and playing time so I'm targeting La Liga and Bundesliga teams to ensure that I make the starting XI. I know for a fact that I have something to offer these teams therefore its just about getting noticed.

My question to you misc is how do I do that? Should I look in the yellow pages for contact information for these teams? I've already drained my bank account to purchase flight tickets and accommodations to various European cities in anticipation of my trials. Also, will I need an agent/manager to negotiate my contract and upcoming commercial endorsements? I did a quick Google search when I read Ari Gold was the best agent in the business but I would prefer to handle the negotiations myself so I don't have to pay him 10%.

Thoughts?

[BeastlyChange]

With the World Cup in full swing I've come to the realization that I'm unhappy with what I'm doing in life and want to make a drastic change. That change will be developing myself into a premier soccer player. While watching the games in my cramped 1 bedroom apartment I see these unathletic manlets making millions of dollars and playing at the highest stage and I ask myself, "why can't that be me?". Then it hit me, it absolutely can be!

A little background: I have no formal soccer experience but am quite athletic (played lacrosse and basketball as well as ran track). I look at these players at the WC and know for a fact that I can the majority outrun them and am stronger than 80% of them. So in order to acquire the necessary skillset to be a prolific player here is my preliminary training regimen :

Dribbling- 1 week
Shooting with both feet- 1 week/foot
Tricks-2 weeks
Flopping-2 weeks

So I feel that in 6 weeks I'll be able to transform myself into a world class player. Now onto my plan. I don't wish to be a benchwarmer so playing in the EPL would not be my first option. I want to guarantee myself maximum exposure and playing time so I'm targeting La Liga and Bundesliga teams to ensure that I make the starting XI. I know for a fact that I have something to offer these teams therefore its just about getting noticed.

My question to you misc is how do I do that? Should I look in the yellow pages for contact information for these teams? I've already drained my bank account to purchase flight tickets and accommodations to various European cities in anticipation of my trials. Also, will I need an agent/manager to negotiate my contract and upcoming commercial endorsements? I did a quick Google search when I read Ari Gold was the best agent in the business but I would prefer to handle the negotiations myself so I don't have to pay him 10%.

Thoughts?

Lol'd. Good luck bruh.

[TestosteroneBoi]

Go for it, champ. Let us know how it works out for you.

[Spoderman1]

don't forget misc when you reach the stars

[WizardsOfAus]

Now you listen to me, and listen HARD. A guy who breeds with a lot of females is attractive to women because this is a sign that he's been selected by alot of other mates (pre-selection). Back in the caveman days, the cavewomen would have been chasing such a man all over the place and would probably wait outside his cave until he returned from hunting, just waitin to fuk him and get his seed. Meanwhile the beta caveman would be sitting there fapping in the cave while the alpha caveman ravaged the cavewoman? Does this help you understand it better?

[illesBKLYN]

surely this will end well

[Dysfunqtional]

lol'd at 2 weeks of flopping practice, good show old chap

[Hornyguyluv]

feardafronfz3: "I question my sanity daily"

[CroForce]

If you played basketball in high school, then I don't doubt you will become the next Maradona.

[Quetzalcoatle]

[BB4239]

Now you listen to me, and listen HARD. A guy who breeds with a lot of females is attractive to women because this is a sign that he's been selected by alot of other mates (pre-selection). Back in the caveman days, the cavewomen would have been chasing such a man all over the place and would probably wait outside his cave until he returned from hunting, just waitin to fuk him and get his seed. Meanwhile the beta caveman would be sitting there fapping in the cave while the alpha caveman ravaged the cavewoman? Does this help you understand it better?

lmao Wtf.

[feardafronfz3]

If you played basketball in high school, then I don't doubt you will become the next Maradona.

I was the 6th man on my freshman basketball team

[xevolution]

Good luck mane














Hook it up with a milli

[Finch000]

Have you seen the soccer players OP? You have a good chance, as anyone can do it srs. It's not like it takes real skill and athletics like NFL, NHL and NBA. Anyone can be good at soccer.

[Masterbetaa]

hope you're european or south american brah


though you do call it soccer....

[Sergis]

So I feel that in 6 weeks I'll be able to transform myself into a world class player.

def gon make it

[paxman85]

You have no idea how much boys in Europe play soccer. 0% chance of making it pro unless you've been playing since you were a really young kid. I would say if your looking to reach that kind of level even 10 years old is too late sorry to break it to you. About 40 kids at my school have played soccer for clubs since before age 8 and 1 has made it to a scholarship where he will train everyday from 16-18 competing against other kids at his level in order to make it pro, around 1 in 5 kids with scholarships will make it pro. And this is for a league one club that's 3rd division, sorry to deliver the cold hard truth

[AaronRothschild]

lol at flopping for 2 weeks


ROLL BREAD

[mophatthedamaja]

Since the srs tag was used I will respond as honestly as possible....

OP you don't have a fukking chance in hell of making a premiership team...not even an MLS team...

players that have devoted themselves wholly to a sport for 15-20 years you think you can compete in 6 weeks??? You're borderline retarded if you think that is truly possible...

brb watching Bourne identity and being Jason Bourne

brb thinking you have a snowballs chance in hell


I toast in roll breads at 33

[iabs]

trolling use to mean something.

[awphukwhy]

[feardafronfz3]

You have no idea how much boys in Europe play soccer. 0% chance of making it pro unless you've been playing since you were a really young kid. I would say if your looking to reach that kind of level even 10 years old is too late sorry to break it to you. About 40 kids at my school have played soccer for clubs since before age 8 and 1 has made it to a scholarship where he will train everyday from 16-18 competing against other kids at his level in order to make it pro, around 1 in 5 kids with scholarships will make it pro. And this is for a league one club that's 3rd division, sorry to deliver the cold hard truth

They don't have the dedication I have bro. During those 6 weeks I will pour everything I have into making myself the best player in the world

[FistYourself]

pretty sure at 25 messi had already won world player of the year four times.

good luck.

[feardafronfz3]

trolling use to mean something.

No troll here. I'm a 2005'er, I know what trolling is and this is certainly not it

[feardafronfz3]

pretty sure at 25 messi had already won world player of the year four times.

good luck.

Some people just find their passion and what they're good at early in life. For others, like me , its a little later and you have a vision one day of exactly what you want your life's work to be and then commit yourself to it

[paxman85]

They don't have the dedication I have bro. During those 6 weeks I will pour everything I have into making myself the best player in the world

Every world class player has particles since they were a kid, you don't understand how high the standards are for this sport in Europe. If you are one of the best players in an American highschool at soccer you will probably be average at any British school. It's completly normal for most British kids I play soccer 5 times a week every single lunch time at school that's what I've done for 11 years to become an average player. Those who play at club level are far superior to me and there are soo many kids playing at club level

[hugeaiden]

yeh 6 weeks should do it

[Hornyguyluv]

Brah, forget about the naysayers and doubters. You won't know if you try. If this is something you love, then go for it. Repped for having the balls to even share this with the misc.

[Oakbearer]

toasting in a roll bread.


still lost it

[AreolaBorealis]

Does anybody have Manchester Uniteds email I wanna send them highlights of me from my indoor soccer league