so i live in chicagos uptiwn neighborhood. i was walking to go grocery shopping at target and all of a sudden i hear a ****load of gunshots and people screaming so i turn around i see 2 guys laying on the ground with blood splatters everywhere and some car haulin ass the **** outta there. i guess 1 person died so far the whole neighborhood is blocked off for like a mile. any other chicago brahs hear about this
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08-19-2013, 06:01 PM #1
just saw 5 people get shot with an ak-47
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08-19-2013, 06:04 PM #8
- Join Date: Aug 2012
- Location: Fort Collins, Colorado, United States
- Age: 43
- Posts: 3,197
- Rep Power: 4693
Whenever I get a package of plain M&Ms, I make it my duty to continue the strength and robustness of the candy as a species. To this end, I hold M&M duels.
Taking two candies between my thumb and forefinger, I apply pressure, squeezing them ...together until one of them cracks and splinters. That is the "loser," and I eat the inferior one immediately. The winner gets to go another round.
I have found that, in general, the brown and red M&Ms are tougher, and the newer blue ones are genetically inferior. I have hypothesized that the blue M&Ms as a race cannot survive long in the intense theater of competition that is the modern candy and snack-food world.
Occasionally I will get a mutation, a candy that is misshapen, or pointier, or flatter than the rest. Almost invariably this proves to be a weakness, but on very rare occasions it gives the candy extra strength. In this way, the species continues to adapt to its environment.
When I reach the end of the pack, I am left with one M&M, the strongest of the herd. Since it would make no sense to eat this one as well, I pack it neatly in an envelope and send it to M&M Mars, A Division of Mars, Inc., Hackettstown, NJ 17840-1503 U.S.A., along with a 3x5 card reading, "Please use this M&M for breeding purposes."
This week they wrote back to thank me, and sent me a coupon for a free 1/2 pound bag of plain M&Ms. I consider this "grant money." I have set aside the weekend for a grand tournament. From a field of hundreds, we will discover the True Champion.
There can be only one.
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08-19-2013, 06:04 PM #9
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08-19-2013, 06:05 PM #11
- Join Date: Jul 2007
- Location: Chicago, Illinois, United States
- Posts: 586
- Rep Power: 597
I live down the street, and was coming home just as this happened. Stay safe Uptown brah.
Link with multiple news sources:
http://www.uptownupdate.com/2013/08/...an-wilson.html
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