Why do some people need motivation to work out and some don't?

[koatliki]

I have a friend, who is about 6'1" and 240lb, always unhappy with his weight, lack of exercising and loves food. So many times I encouraged him to go to gym, so many times I told him to eat less, told him about IF, but according to him if he doesn't eat breakfast he feels like he is going to die by lunch and by 5pm he is usually "too tired" to go to gym (he does desk job). He always comes up with excuses: he needs supplements, gym is too far, gym has bad reviews, gym has no parking space, etc.

I am not really sure what else I can tell him other than what I told him. He would occasionally ask me some questions such as "What do you think is a good routine" or "Which pre-workout supplements do you use?". My answer is always: the best routine is when you actually go to the gym.

I, personally, love working out: I feel energized and I guess I feel some high from it. I hate off-days. Occasionally I get some comments and admiration for my discipline, but I feel like I don't deserve it, because I actually LOVE going to the gym. (Granted I may deserve some kudos for proper diet)

I think a person who went from being 300lb for years to 180lb deserves a lot more credit than someone like me, but I still wonder why some people love going to the gym and some treat it as necessary evil. I also wonder how I can motivate my friend.

[RRJ]

I used to hate it, now I love it. I'm not really sure what changed, honestly. Hell I even love doing cardio. I think when you have a goal in mind that is very important to you, seeing small amounts of progress is motivating enough.

Have you tried getting him to workout in the morning? I was feeling tired after working and probably only exercising 3 times a week. Now I lift or do cardio in the morning, 6-7 times a week. It gets it out of the way and I feel great, more awake, etc.

[koatliki]

I used to hate it, now I love it. I'm not really sure what changed, honestly. Hell I even love doing cardio. I think when you have a goal in mind that is very important to you, seeing small amounts of progress is motivating enough.

Have you tried getting him to workout in the morning? I was feeling tired after working and probably only exercising 3 times a week. Now I lift or do cardio in the morning, 6-7 times a week. It gets it out of the way and I feel great, more awake, etc.

I think he tried that, but he says he would have to wake up too early.

I personally think you're either morning or evening person: I would absolutely hate working out in the mornings and I love working out but really don't like running all that much.

[EM86]

I personally love the gym now too but it wasn't always that way. Maybe there is an underlying reason why he doesn't workout. People used to try to get me to workout when I was really skinny and even though I wanted to I would make excuses because I was so weak I didn't want to lift around all those people who were stronger than me. Maybe is self conscious.

[Misctake7]

If the guy hasn't gone to the gym all that much in the past, he may still have that initial fear of working out in front of others. I worked out at home for a year because I didn't think I'd be comfortable in a gym. Right after I signed up to the gym, I started loving it. Not much of a cardio buff anymore, but I do love lifting and I know how you feel about those off days away from the gym.

Some people have the discipline to go to the gym regardless of how they feel because they have done it for awhile. Others just starting out I often see need motivation after the first couple of weeks.

[mikel1975]

I can totally relate cause same thing here. As I see more progress I have need to go to gym. It's become addiction but Also I hit that 300 mark and going to 196. My buddy at work is too tired and always full of excuses to go. Motivation to go to gym is what you make out of it. Different for everyone. I wasn't happy being overweight anymore, motivation to do something took over. My friend hasnt hit that point, though wish he would for himself.

[Donut Juice]

Until he gets to the gym, he won't be motivated. But he needs to go ATLEAST once, can you take him as a visitor one day? Or try to speak to someone about him being interested but he needs to try atleast once?

[RRJ]

I think he tried that, but he says he would have to wake up too early.

I personally think you're either morning or evening person: I would absolutely hate working out in the mornings and I love working out but really don't like running all that much.

I think humans can adapt pretty well to their sleep schedules. For 27 years of my life I HATED exercising in the morning. I was tired, groggy, etc. I wanted to stay up late and wake up late. I forced myself for months on end to wake up and workout in the morning. Now it is normal and feels completely natural. It sounds like he doesn't want it enough if it's "too early" for him. I was sick of feeling exhausted after work so I changed my schedule around so that I could workout more often and reach my goals easier. Anyone can do it.

[koatliki]

To answer some of the questions here: he did go to the gym with in the past: maybe 2-3 months about a year ago. His lifts increased pretty well, but his diet wasn't good, so he didn't see too much result other than getting a little muscular. So he is not shy about that.

I work out during lunch these days so it is hard to go with him now.

It is a vicious cycle: he doesn't work out, eats a lot, gains weight, gets depressed that he girls don't like him anymore, his self-confidence goes down and all he wanna do is just work, eat and hang out and not try to do anything, because he is always tired

[koatliki]

I think humans can adapt pretty well to their sleep schedules. For 27 years of my life I HATED exercising in the morning. I was tired, groggy, etc. I wanted to stay up late and wake up late. I forced myself for months on end to wake up and workout in the morning. Now it is normal and feels completely natural. It sounds like he doesn't want it enough if it's "too early" for him. I was sick of feeling exhausted after work so I changed my schedule around so that I could workout more often and reach my goals easier. Anyone can do it.

Well, I don't see any reason to wake up early to be honest when I like things the way they are now. I wake up at 8:30am and go to sleep at 10:30pm. Works fine for me as it is (I do like to sleep a lot)

[qskinny]

I think your initial level of fitness plays a role. If you are already throwing around quite a bit of weight, it's easier to get motivated.

I can say the same thing about other areas in my life. I've played basketball for the last 20 years of my life and feel I'm pretty good at it. I have a blast draining 3's, throwing dunks down, and laying down a killer cross over on a drive to the hoop. It takes no push at all to get me to play this sport. If I was airballing every shot or unable to maintain a dribble, it would take a lot of motivation and pushing to get me to do it even with my current love of the sport.

[xMiiDNIGHT]

Most people that fail/don't start think of the gym as a chore, or an extension of work. I think of it as a hobby. My old hobby was watching TV and playing video games, new hobby is working out. Simple as that.

[illriginalized]

It's the mindset of, "why do I train?"

Do they train because they're trying to impress someone of the opposite gender? Or do they train for the sake of their own well-being?


I am more of the latter. I never really had the mindset to train for the sake of impressing others, except for myself, honestly. During the first half of high school I was on dat der fatty time. Then I got into training and the results alone showed me that training is a lifestyle that every single one of us should do and shouldn't be limited to just the gym of course. So the purpose of my training is for the sake of my health.. my well-being and for whatever reason, at the most extreme, for survival.

For those who do it for the sake of impressing someone besides themselves.. well... look at all your friends who have gotten married. For many of us here in the forum board that are married, we're fortunate to enjoy training (or at least I do).. but those who were once the hottest/strongest guy in high school, who is now married, more than likely is a total slob. Has finally given up on themselves because they've settled down and no longer need to stand out in the crowd.

So with that said.. if you're training to impress others excluding yourself, guess what? You're f*cked and couldn't survive a day in my world.

That is all.

[JackedPlusRich]

If you want an excuse you can always find one.

I don't need motivation to do something I love.

[Enothe]

Agreeing generally with everyone.

Ultimately it sounds as though this guy has a fear of failure. The whole "What if I try really hard but still fail?". It is important to nudge him rather than force him, I have done it for a few of my friends who I workout with now. They never used to be interested.

Motivation has to be internal to be effective, until he genuinely wants to change he won't.

[coachpalmz]

When you figure out the "Why", the "How" becomes possible at any cost.

[ChickenandYams]

It doesn't sound like your friend has made the choice to even have a desire to go to the gym. You've suggested it to him as a solution, but until he actually thinks about making the choice, you're kicking a dead horse. It's like telling a smoker to stop smoking because its bad for their health. EVERYONE knows smoking is bad for you. Until they WANT to quit, they won't. Your friend wont ever go to the gym, or at least won't keep going, until he makes the choice for himself. You're doing the right thing by encouraging him and being there to help him. When he finally does decide he wants to go, he'll already know who to go to for support and guidance. Keep being supportive and nudging him in the right direction. Just dont slam it down his throat, you can't make him.

[Bradcore]

I noticed you said he keeps making excuses as to why he "can't, won't, etc" go to the gym. Does he have weights at home or do you do have some spare ones he could borrow? Perhaps if he could get started in his free time in the comfort of his own home, that may make the difference. Some people are more motivated to do things as long as they don't have to travel to get there.