can't help but feel like a super late bloomer

[BlazinBarbz]

i need some advice guys. i'm a 20 year old girl from miami, who for the last 4 years of her life has been heavily involved with bad things that caused alot of trust issues in my family. i just recently got back my parents trust after what seems to be an eternity

i finally made it to college about a year ago, i've decided to clean up my act and i joined a gym. I've lost 90 pounds since i started last year, and this journey has been a huge emotional roller-coaster ride for me. i've lost a few friends down the road because i felt they were only holding me back and only used me to party.

so fast forward to recent, i only have about one really good friend left. BUT to be honest, i totally wish i was alone right now. i need to push through, mentally to finish my last 60 pounds and be considered a healthy weight (i've been morbidly obese my whole life) the thing is, my close friend is a huge pothead and he smokes ALOT. and he always trys to get me to smoke with him, even after i say no and i've cried to him and told him how much i want to stop.
needless to say, i still smoke but now but it's only once a week. its not everyday like it use to be

so my question is this; i want to distance myself from him and be alone for the last bit of my weight loss journey. am i wrong in doing that? i don't want to be tied down to anyone. especially not somebody who smokes everyday. i just want to go below the radar for a few months, work hard on myself, and my school work.
i've lost alot of time partying and doing drugs, and i feel i owe it to myself to push through this last bit. it's getting increasingly harder and harder and i don't want to fail.
i'm doing well in college. i'm enrolled as a full time student, and i'm going for summer semester so that and the gym will help keep me busy this summer.

i'm not going to be opposed to making friends or having friendships, but i just don't want to be accountable for having any "close" or "best" friends right now. i want to do it on my own. i really do believe i can do well, i just hope i can cope with not having anyone to talk to my day about.
am i wrong in wanting this? does this make me selfish? he's a cool guy, but i just really don't want to deal with anybody right now on that personal level, that aren't my family. i want to concentrate, i need to push through these last 50 pounds

[Spanishdream]

First off, congratulations.

Secondly, you have to do what you have to do. If you feel he is holding you back, then you cut loose. Friends are only friends when they follow you, not tell you to stay put in life. You seem determined, and to me you've already made up your mind but there is a great sense of guilt. Do what you think is most beneficial to you.

Best of luck.

[fikshunn]

You've made great progress so far, keep it up!

Lifestyle changes tend to shake things up a bit, almost always for the better. Tell your friend how you feel and part ways for now, it's time to focus on you with minimal distractions.

You can start a blog of your own here in the Losing Fat Logs section (http://forum.bodybuilding.com/forumdisplay.php?f=111). That way you can share your day, how you maintained your motivation, chose healthy meals each day, and what you plan on doing to keep at it.

You're never really alone when you have the whole bb.com community here for support!

[SebLean]

Keep going no matter what! Just imagine yourself in a year from now, looking back at today...after working your butt off, I'm sure your be proud of yourself!

[bestbefore]

i need some advice guys. i'm a 20 year old girl from miami, who for the last 4 years of her life has been heavily involved with bad things that caused alot of trust issues in my family. i just recently got back my parents trust after what seems to be an eternity

i finally made it to college about a year ago, i've decided to clean up my act and i joined a gym. I've lost 90 pounds since i started last year, and this journey has been a huge emotional roller-coaster ride for me. i've lost a few friends down the road because i felt they were only holding me back and only used me to party.

so fast forward to recent, i only have about one really good friend left. BUT to be honest, i totally wish i was alone right now. i need to push through, mentally to finish my last 60 pounds and be considered a healthy weight (i've been morbidly obese my whole life) the thing is, my close friend is a huge pothead and he smokes ALOT. and he always trys to get me to smoke with him, even after i say no and i've cried to him and told him how much i want to stop.
needless to say, i still smoke but now but it's only once a week. its not everyday like it use to be

so my question is this; i want to distance myself from him and be alone for the last bit of my weight loss journey. am i wrong in doing that? i don't want to be tied down to anyone. especially not somebody who smokes everyday. i just want to go below the radar for a few months, work hard on myself, and my school work.
i've lost alot of time partying and doing drugs, and i feel i owe it to myself to push through this last bit. it's getting increasingly harder and harder and i don't want to fail.
i'm doing well in college. i'm enrolled as a full time student, and i'm going for summer semester so that and the gym will help keep me busy this summer.

i'm not going to be opposed to making friends or having friendships, but i just don't want to be accountable for having any "close" or "best" friends right now. i want to do it on my own. i really do believe i can do well, i just hope i can cope with not having anyone to talk to my day about.
am i wrong in wanting this? does this make me selfish? he's a cool guy, but i just really don't want to deal with anybody right now on that personal level, that aren't my family. i want to concentrate, i need to push through these last 50 pounds

I was in the exact same situation as you. My best friend was always smoking pot (and doing drugs) and he always dragged me down with him. This continued for years and years till I finally decided that the friendship wasn't a real friendship if he makes you feel like **** if you don't smoke or do drugs. I've cut him loose last year and it was the hardest decision I had to make, but I understand now that it was the right decision. Take it from me, he isn't a real friend if he 'forces' you to smoke pot. A real friend would just not smoke pot when you're around. Always take care of yourself first.

[Fitness9834]

Take some time out for yourself and tell your friend you need some time away right now. Like others have said, if he is a true friend he will understand.

[BlazinBarbz]

thanks guys i definitely am in a better mind state right now, than i was when i originally wrote this
i told him i wanted space. i explained to him thoroughly about my addiction, and how i really really want to stop smoking, and how if he doesn't stop offering it to me, there's going to be some negative side effects to that.. and he said he understood, and that he was going to anymore, all i had to do was tell him seriously.

but still, idk. i'm taking it one day at a time. this is day 2 of me being sober and i am extremely agitated.
and @ fikshun, thanks i think i actually will start a log. i've always wanted to, and that'll definitely hold me accountable to something, give me a little extra motivation.

[Mr. sPECtacular]

Im certainly not the first to congratulate you on this, but CONGRATULATIONS on your progress so far! It takes a great deal of courage and determination to make the lifestlyle choices you have chosen.
I have found myself repeatedly in this same situation.
I started about 3 years ago, with the desire to lose weight. My friends were not very supportive, because they did not understand how badly I wanted to do this. Over the last six or so months, I found myself drinking multiple times a week and staying out very late, affecting my work, and fitness goals.
One day, I decided to just cut loose from everything and focus on what Ive always wanted: to look and live like a bodybuilder(still in progress)
So i started out by staying home whenever my friends went out and partied, nothing new to them. I couldnt find the words to explain to them how badly I wanted to do this for myself.
They still invited me out from time to time but i opted out and they didnt take it too great.
We rarely speak anymore, but like the above have said, true friends will follow and support you through your journey to the very end.
Only those who see you suffer and sacrifice for your goals are the ones who deserve to be there at the finish line to share in your triumph and happiness
Stay strong, you will make it!

[BlazinBarbz]

thank you all for your kind words. i've came to terms with the fact that i just have to be a little stronger and more assertive. i currently only have 1 real (best)friend right now, and he's also my room mate. i told him the other day about how i felt about weed and how i really want to stop and he said he supports me totally.
he doesn't offer it to me anymore so that's a great load off my shoulder.

school ends this week, so i plan on getting on my grind til my birthday in August. i am so ready for this, seriously. i'm going to be pretty busy this summer between my intense workouts, summer semester, and diablo 3 :P (thank god for diablo 3, that'll give me something to do friday and saturday nights while my friends are out partying)