Gym Annoyances

[xsizo]

I’ve spared no expense in writing this, so tread lightly. I’ve listed some of the gym annoyances I encounter on a daily basis. You guys might have run into a few of these situations, so feel free to share your experiences.

The Talker: This dude will introduce himself if you look approachable. He’ll tell you how his day went at work, how life’s not fair and how his girlfriends a great screw. Seconds later, he’ll ask what muscle group you’re exercising, then he’ll ironically say “I don’t waste time in the gym.” This all happens 60 minutes after introduction.

The Super Talker: I was debating between “The Super Talker” and “One-Annoying-BASTARD”. This one time I had my headphones on, blasting really loud techno music. I tend to look down when walking around the gym to avoid any time-consuming conversations. I was ready to pump out really heavy T-bar rows, or what I like to call “an-inch-away-from-paralysis” rows. This exercise requires Zen-like focus and concentration, followed by a few iterations of the Holy Quran to ensure Allah’s on my side. Anyways, as I was pumping 6 really-heavy-I’m-about-to-crap-my-pants reps, the Super Talker approaches me and asks a question- IN THE MIDDLE OF MY DAMN T-BAR EXERCISE. You know what pissed me off? The annoying bastard was waiting for an answer.

The Super Talker, Part 2: In a male-only testosterone-packed gym, how the hell does a subject about someone’s daughter getting her first period creep in? Oh yeah guys, this is for real. The same Super Talker who talked to me in the middle of an exercise that could have easily caused paralysis talked about his daughter’s experience with her first period.

The Farter: Better in than out I say, but not around the dumbbell area. I have nothing against farting- it’s a natural thing, especially with athletes and weight-lifters who consume a lot of food to fuel their workouts. Nevertheless, you should always fart responsibly. For starters, never fart in an area where sweaty men are inches apart. The smell of testosterone-induced body odor and sweat is torture enough- adding in smelly protein farts would add nuclear insult to injury. Instead of concentrating that stuff right up in my face, take a walk around the gym and spread the wealth. Sharing small farts around the gym’s a lot better than sharing it in a small congested area.

The Advisor: These guys attack once you’ve finished performing an exercise that WORKS FOR YOU. They’ll tell you how you’re doing it wrong. For ****s and giggles, they’ll even add a really fast and detailed assessment of EVERYTHING you’re missing and should be doing. Wow- we’ve just met and you think you know my body more than me? Ironically enough, after eating 45 minutes from your workout time like cancer eats on cells, the Advisor adds that workouts should not last more than 60 minutes.

The Gawker: After performing his first set of his first exercise, he’ll place his elbows on his knees and stare at everyone in the gym for the remainder of the workout. Gawkers choose their preys carefully. They won’t approach, only stare. They gawk because they wish they looked like you, exercised like you or maybe even screw you. Whatever goes through a Gawker’s head is beyond any of us.

The Guy Who Just Doesn’t Get It: In the middle of an INSANELY INTENSE back workout, where I was OBVIOUSLY looking more serious than a US President giving the orders to drop a nuclear bomb on some 3rd world country, this stringy-ass dude comes up to me and asks for a workout plan. Right then and there, he wanted to know which muscle to work, the specific exercises, and accompanied sets and reps. After wiping the pile of sweat I had on my face, I told him to stick a barbell up his butt hole and call that a workout.

The Feeler: Looking improved? Exercising a new muscle angle? Looking good while performing a workout? The Feeler will come up to you and make sure you’re working out what he thinks you’re working- by touching you very awkwardly. He’ll also touch you because of all the improvements you’ve made to your physique. Yesterday, I was performing a hamstring workout, specifically the glute (butt) to hamstring (rear upper thigh) area tie in. All of a sudden, this dude places his hand on THAT AREA. I was startled and rudely asked him what in God’s name he was doing. Please refrain from touching someones muscles. It’s gay regardless of ANYTHING. This includes the usual “I want to feel how hard your biceps are”.

The Perspirator: I sweat a lot when I workout, but I make sure to wipe my face and whatever equipment I’m using before, during and after. I’ve seen a few guys that sweat twice as much as me, and that’s not the problem. Sweating, especially when working out is a very normal thing. Nevertheless, and in reference to #9 above, sweat should not touch me or any other person under any circumstances. I’m looking at you Mr. I’m-running-on-the-treadmill-and-sweating-within-a-100-mile-radius.

The Comfort Zone Destroyer: I strongly believe in PROXIMITY- i.e. keep a good distance if you’re talking to me. Any closer than arm width is ANNIHILATING my comfort zone. Now imagine working out on a machine that requires a specific amount of space in order to perform it correctly. Now imagine a douche bag rudely entering that area screwing up your exercise rhythm. Now imagine that douche bag running into you WHILE performing a dangerous exercise without apologizing.

[piffsmoke]

LOL yea

What about The Outsider: The guy who comes in the gym and wears regular clothes he would to work or to a nascar game does 5 sets and leaves.

The Exposer: The guy that walks around the locker room for 10 minutes naked shaves, brushes his teeth, pisses, and gets on the scale.

[STEELCITYMUSCLE]

I've seen them all over the years bro, some I've seen are actually pretty bizarre....the ones you listed I think almost every gym has.

[fightingfalcn91]

HAHA!! This is awesome

[chazzy1864]

Do a search for "That guy in the gym" thread. This has been done many times over. You've spared no expense in wasting your time.

[krete77]

There's already a thread made for this..something along the line of "gym idiots". Do a search; it's quite entertaining to say the least

[OakleyShades]

In on epic thread. A lot of these are true. I lol'd at the period experience.

[Maverick313]

File me under;

Mr. Rude: I wear my head phones in, even if the mp3 is not on. I don't say hi or good bye. I don't talk or give advice. I just workout and leave.

[piffsmoke]

I saw a guy working out in his turtle neck the other day lmao

[kanis999]

I am annoyed by just about everyone in the gym. I'm full of testosterone and putting my body through hell. I want to be alone when I'm in that state. Everyone else is just in my way. Once I'm done with my workout, however, they're all my friends lol.

[Serpentarius]

[Bumpus]

The Angster: Lets trivial matters such as friendly people, gym policies, other people's habits completely ruin his workout and/or day.

[BenW22]

tl;dr

[DJAuto]

Never ran into any of these characters.

[Destructodave]

LOL yea

What about The Outsider: The guy who comes in the gym and wears regular clothes he would to work or to a nascar game does 5 sets and leaves.

The Exposer: The guy that walks around the locker room for 10 minutes naked shaves, brushes his teeth, pisses, and gets on the scale.

I've wore normal clothes many a times to the gym, especially after work when I just didnt have time to change or bring clothes. No harm no foul.

I can deal with any gym regular except that naked fuker in the bathroom walking around for 30 minutes. Just why? Is a towel that hard to put on? They always make sure they look at you too when you walk in or accidentally get his naked ass in your vision, he has to make eye contact. Ugh.

[Dysun]

The angry napoleon complex roider who gives me death stares even though I'd rather have his physique

[Tommy W.]

My new fave is this dyke that comes in on Sunday and uses our only power rack for squats and does MAYBE 3 sets in 45 minutes time (no BS).

Also the guy that uses something, walks away and comes back in 5 minutes and asks what's up with me using what he was in the middle of using. I pull my sunglasses off and stare at him and all is well. Yes I train in shades as I want no eye contact unless necessary. After 40 years in gyms I just want to train and not socialize.

[PMK84]

People I find annoying at the gym:

The dude who grunts so the whole gym can hear him, relax bro.
The person who gets on elyptical/tredmill right beside you, when the rest are open. (Unless it's a hot chick)
The old dude who loves being naked in the locker-room
The dude who stays on a machine that I'm waiting for, for 30 minutes.
The person who smells like straight ass, dude put on some deoderant/take a shower.
Them gays who stare. (WTF)

That's about it for me.

[mobikwa]

You know what pisses me off? When someone ****s on the bench to show that he's using it.

[mattsingh87]

HAHA!! This is awesome

Hahahhaha hell yeah

[mattsingh87]

Hell yeah!!!

[kanis999]

I wish I had a gym nearby where it is acceptable to grunt and yell loudly. A place where they played ugly music instead of this year's pop hits. A place with concrete floors and no mirrors. It annoys me to no end that other people are bothered by grunting.

[Destructodave]

I wish I had a gym nearby where it is acceptable to grunt and yell loudly. A place where they played ugly music instead of this year's pop hits. A place with concrete floors and no mirrors. It annoys me to no end that other people are bothered by grunting.

Because more often then not it is not necessary. Unless you are doing a 1 rep max or struggling for 1 more rep, I don't see why. There's a guy at my gym, the a trainer, who grunts and yells from rep 1. Gets like 15. Each rep gets louder and louder.

I dont really care much, but there is nothing "manly" or cool about having to grunt and scream to lift a weight. Be real, its pretty unnecessary 90% of the time.

Not to mention, it can get pretty distracting at times to others who are in the gym. It may not seem like to the grunter, but its no different then the guy purposely just banging his weight stack or weights on the ground as loud as humanly possible.

Small grunting is fine.

On a related note, I used to go to a "manly" gym. Was a hole in the wall on top of the mountain, where the machines still used bicycle chains instead of cables. Hell, the sled for the leg press was like 250 pounds or some crap. Everything in that gym was beat all to hell, old 1960-70 machines, the benches worn off, lots of plain radios plugged in blaring rock music. It was a really cool gym. Still didnt feel the need to fake some grunting.

[EnglandLifter]

The people who ask why you powerlift, the worse way to approach me is why do you powerlift yea your stronger than me but im bigger whats point lifting if not for size

[kanis999]

Touche, it is nice to have new equipment and grunting is often unnecessary. I think what bothers me about complaints against grunting is that when I do it, I'm usually completely unaware of it. I don't want to divert my focus on a near failure rep to stop an unconscious process. Doing so might stop my last rep from happening.

[Destructodave]

Touche, it is nice to have new equipment and grunting is often unnecessary. I think what bothers me about complaints against grunting is that when I do it, I'm usually completely unaware of it. I don't want to divert my focus on a near failure rep to stop an unconscious process. Doing so might stop my last rep from happening.

I'm suprised someone would say something to you about a grunt near the end. Most grunters people have a problem with are those every rep grunters from rep one. That trainer in my gym is one of the worst I've ever seen since I've been lifting. He grunts loud as hell then pretty much fukin starts screaming about halfway thru his set. Then when hes done, he has aftershocks "yeah ah ahhhhhh ahhhh yeaaahahahah" Its seriously so loud it drowns out the rest of the gym, even the music.

I dont get annoyed by any gym guy except the naked one. I find him/them hilarious.

[IDrinkBloodLOL]

ITT: Why I just bought my own damned weights

[kanis999]

then when hes done, he has aftershocks "yeah ah ahhhhhh ahhhh yeaaahahahah" its seriously so loud it drowns out the rest of the gym, even the music.

rofl

[jgreystoke]

Even when I train at a commercial gym, I never notice those people, seriously.

I'm too busy trying to make myself better.

[TankNick]

Cant stand it when theres someone doing a 100 shrugs right in front of the weight rack