Guys that don't get emotionally attached...how did you get so hard?

[Uncle Bob]

I enjoy dating and going out to dinners and events with a girl but I don't have much emotional attachment and after a few months (when she wants to get more serious) I lose interest. I care about the girls I date but don't feel the need for all that romantic love stuff. I have my own hobbies and don't see the need for a girl other than sex and going out.

I didn't use to be this way. I used to be a romantic chump that pretty much used a girl as most of my identity and learned this mistake the hard way. Now, over 2 years after my divorce I just have no interest in how I used to be (lighting candles and ravishing a girl and all that stuff).

So for all you other guys that go against society saying you should settle down with a girl...how did you end up feeling that way? Have you always had no interest or did you have some major fallout that made you cold towards getting serious with someone?

[BigFoigg]

I know that feel OP. Happened to me too… got cheated on by my gf of 7 months in Sept '11, wouldn't have been so bad if we weren't close friends for the 4 years before that. Just kinda went partying every weekend after that and realized how easy it was (srs) to hook up with girls who had bfs or claimed to be seeing somebody. Mind you I didn't know until afterwards when I added them on FB or was texting them afterwards. I guess that was horrible for me - yeah sure, I was getting action - but it just made me disrespect women and see the vast majority of girls my age as disloyal sloots.

Prior to that I used to be a really romantic, try-hard, very sweet caring (some miscers will say beta but honestly idc) type of guy.. but nowadays I don't see the point of that.

[AJae]

Please don't get your butt hurt over sluts. You're ruining it for the good girls.

The reason why you're not trying for these girls is because none has really sparked you yet. Aka, if you come across a good one, you'll be crazy about her, trying to do all those things again to impress her because she's worth it. You bit into a sh-tty apple, so what. There's plenty of good ones on the trees if you don't focus on picking up the crappy ones you find on the floor.

[Onisac]

I don't know, I kind of always been this way. I'm rarely emotionally attached to anyone. I'm not really the type of person that will "miss" someone. (unless that person is departed or that I know I'll never see him/her again). It's not like I'm a cold bastard either. I will get attached to a girl every now and then (it's very rare). When I do become attached, I feel like seeing her often. I get over it quickly though.

[Violator009]

I enjoy dating and going out to dinners and events with a girl but I don't have much emotional attachment and after a few months (when she wants to get more serious) I lose interest. I care about the girls I date but don't feel the need for all that romantic love stuff. I have my own hobbies and don't see the need for a girl other than sex and going out.

welcome to the life of a loner, i became hard when i stopped puttn the pucci on a pedistal...

[fapbrah]

Too many sloots with issues to waste precious energy on.

Yes. Hurt, betrayed, lied to. Grew a rougher skin. Still trying to better myself. But I'm not going out of my way for bishes like I used to.

[Bunpitsu]

Black knight checking in, but not satisfied with it one bit.

I'm a romantic at heart, and when I finally realised that women were blood-sucking, manipulating devils, I actually died inside. No guy is rewarded for being 'nice' to women any more, unless of course he's found that treasure chest of gold that is, shock-horror, a 'nice girl'.

I'd only open up to my nature once I'd known a woman for a damn long time. Before that, I'm an egotistical, somewhat selfish and dismissive azzhole, as that's what the opposite sex desire.

[HayZues Christi]

The world made me this way. Been let down 2 mny times, seen to much bs growing up. Then as far bck as I can remember I've been ****ing girls with boyfriends. I know I'm not that special, so I just kind of oncluded that women aren't loyal or worth becoming attached 2. I'm really just cold hearted, can't afford 2 be anything else.

[Uncle Bob]

welcome to the life of a loner, i became hard when i stopped puttn the pucci on a pedistal...

Well at least the loner thing isn't as bad as I thought. A few years ago I had those big dreams of a house, wife, and kids. Now when I'm not at work I do whatever I please and have the ability to easily pick up and move while I see many of my past friends now living such boring, settled down lives and will probably end up going through some mid-life crisis. But as they keep doing that it means less and less guy friends for me to hang with.

Or as someone mentioned above, maybe now that I know the dangers of relying on someone else for my happiness I've just become ultra picky and won't let down my wall unless she fits like a glove or I hit age 40, whatever comes first!

Almost all my older coworkers have been through rough divorces with kids involved because they picked horrible mates for the sake of having someone rather than dare to be alone for a while. I guess I got off lucky.

[A1roller]

Was a beta virgin up until age 18 when I discovered PUA. I was made aware of lots of aspects of social dynamics and that its advantageous to always have the upper hand or be unemotional in a relationship. I guess because thats the way I've learned to interact with girls, I've never fallen for any of the girls I've fuked. I'm not bitter about it like some people on here, its just the way it is.

[exo5]

I was screwed over once after doing anything/everything I possibly could to keep the relationship going. After I got over that one, I havent been able to make that emotional connection with anyone. So if it isnt there, its not going anywhere, but hey if the girl I am seeing doesnt mind, and I can tolerate her, I will continue to see her. Its not ideal, and maybe I haven't found that spark.

Instead of worrying about "If I am broken" I try to focus on things I can control: College, DW (Doing Work, working out), and making more money. I think its more important to be the right man then to find the right girl.

[HIIT]

I used to be a 'nice guy' through and through. Read PUA and realised that doesn't work per se.

So I got girls. Not many that I slept with, but I did get some. I eventually got a girlfriend.

Became a 'nice guy' again. Bought her cocktails. Bought her expensive birthday/x mas presents. Took her on expensive holidays. Was loving, funny, caring, thoughtful, sweet; I was a good bf.

A prostitute would have acted better than her. She disrespected me time and time again.

The icing on the cake was, a week after taking her for an expensive weekend away, we went to her friend's party - a meal at a restaurant. I buy her an expensive cocktail. An hour later a friend suggest we go to a casino - I realise I don't have ID, can't get in. Girlfriend and her friends went in and left me in the freezing cold at 10pm on a saturday night. i have to text girlfriend to come out. 15 minutes she comes out and says she's staying and goodbye.i say I'd never do that to you, that's so disloyal and disrespectful. she says i can give you my keys and i can meet you at home in a few hours when i get home. i'm like don't bother so she left. i text her told her i was upset. she gave me no calls/texts back.

I know people say people who are hard are just bitter from bad relationships. But I think girls will take you for everything they can get in a lot of circumstances. I am definitely a black knight for life now. I thought in a relationship where you said 'I love you' things were different from strangers at a bar. I'm not so sure now.

[exo5]

What does the term "Black Knight" Mean. Sorry I am new here.

Totally agree with you HIIT

[Misker24]

Used to be "nice guy"

Finally found a girl who I saw myself being with for awhile...she broke my heart

Took two months of no contact to get over her fully but I see her occasionally and we have mutual friends...who I feel I have to avoid now

I stopped putting the vag on the pedestal and have been concentrating on my studies...
She may have ****ed up my whole view on women and that's why I'm so cold emotionally. I've shutdown and never want myself to get that deep for awhile.

If a bish comes at me now I tell her "I'm not looking for anything"...I'm glad girls are just as horny as guys

[Shwaggie]

Used to be "nice guy"

Finally found a girl who I saw myself being with for awhile...she broke my heart

Took two months of no contact to get over her fully but I see her occasionally and we have mutual friends...who I feel I have to avoid now

I stopped putting the vag on the pedestal and have been concentrating on my studies...
She may have ****ed up my whole view on women and that's why I'm so cold emotionally. I've shutdown and never want myself to get that deep for awhile.

If a bish comes at me now I tell her "I'm not looking for anything"...I'm glad girls are just as horny as guys

This. ''Fool me once, shame on, shame on you. Fool me -- you can't get fooled again".jpg

From my experiences, a lot of girls have daddy/family issues, take tons of antidepressants/antipsychotics/antianxiety meds, or are now more concerned with competing with men for jobs/careers/status. I have no respect for such women and simply would never invest emotionally in a fruitless cause. I know there are worthwhile women out there, but rare an occurrence it is when I actually get to interact with one. As is said frequently on the misc/relationship help, a lot of girls are busy putting mileage on their vaginas in their late teens up to mid 20's, and then they're used up and unwanted when they finally realize the lifestyle they've been programmed to adopt has led to nothing truly substantial in terms of character growth.

inb4 jaded

[xvicknumber7x]

I wouldn't say I am "hard", but I think everyone who gets that way gets there from being just absolutely dragged through the mud by some girl they really care for. It happened to me, and although I am no longer quick to ravish a new girl I may like, it is still an option once I get into the relationship. My past did not destroy the ability I have to be loving. I am just a lot more aware of what may happen if I open up too fast or lets things get out of control quicker.

Everyone needs to be **** on by a selfish female in order to truly grow as a man. Or at least that's my opinion. I am thankful to the girl that did this to me - hell, I just saw her the other night. I'll enver tell her but she helped me become a man. You guys should look at your situations with these females from a new perspective, and learn not to take out on the next potential partner you may come across. Don't let the past continue to hurt you. Let go.

[stefano445]

Please don't get your butt hurt over sluts. You're ruining it for the good girls.

The reason why you're not trying for these girls is because none has really sparked you yet. Aka, if you come across a good one, you'll be crazy about her, trying to do all those things again to impress her because she's worth it. You bit into a sh-tty apple, so what. There's plenty of good ones on the trees if you don't focus on picking up the crappy ones you find on the floor.

rotten apples suck

I just cut away the disgusting parts with a knife

[sphinxbrah]

I wouldn't say I am "hard", but I think everyone who gets that way gets there from being just absolutely dragged through the mud by some girl they really care for. It happened to me, and although I am no longer quick to ravish a new girl I may like, it is still an option once I get into the relationship. My past did not destroy the ability I have to be loving. I am just a lot more aware of what may happen if I open up too fast or lets things get out of control quicker.

This man has it right. ^

People in this thread who will never trust a woman again are taking it too far. If there are good men out there - and I'm sure most, if not all, of the brahs in this thread would say they are good men - why wouldn't there be good women out there as well? True, they are few and far between. And the % seems to decline in proportion with girls' looks sadly. But just seeing things objectively there has to be at least SOME decent girls thinking and saying the same things we are about having a bad experiences, lost faith, seeing them all as the same now, etc (only they're saying about guys obviously).

Does it take me a long time to open up now? Absolutely. Am I sometimes seen as cold or distant in the early stages of my relationship? For sure. But I don't see this as a bad thing. Gotta be cautious with girls these days nomsayin? Lots of bad seeds. But not ALL bad seeds. This is where misc makes its miscalculation. And it really is a shame they are missing out on some potentially great relationships. There is nothing wrong with letting the right person know how you feel it's only human and natural.

EDIT - Had my heart crushed by a girl I thought was that "good girl". ****ed tons of random bishes from class and bars and clubs. On a Euro trip I even banged tons of 10/10 hookers in Amsterdam including a few threesomes. Fixed nothing. You brahs can try but if you arent hard naturally - and some luck ones are - I feel it is impossible to force it.

[bongowongo]

The icing on the cake was, a week after taking her for an expensive weekend away, we went to her friend's party - a meal at a restaurant. I buy her an expensive cocktail. An hour later a friend suggest we go to a casino - I realise I don't have ID, can't get in. Girlfriend and her friends went in and left me in the freezing cold at 10pm on a saturday night. i have to text girlfriend to come out. 15 minutes she comes out and says she's staying and goodbye.i say I'd never do that to you, that's so disloyal and disrespectful. she says i can give you my keys and i can meet you at home in a few hours when i get home. i'm like don't bother so she left. i text her told her i was upset. she gave me no calls/texts back.

Holy chit. Raging so hard at that.

[segestan]

Black knight checking in, but not satisfied with it one bit.

I'm a romantic at heart, and when I finally realised that women were blood-sucking, manipulating devils, I actually died inside. No guy is rewarded for being 'nice' to women any more, unless of course he's found that treasure chest of gold that is, shock-horror, a 'nice girl'.

I'd only open up to my nature once I'd known a woman for a damn long time. Before that, I'm an egotistical, somewhat selfish and dismissive azzhole, as that's what the opposite sex desire.

Too much real life...

[A1roller]

I wouldn't say I am "hard", but I think everyone who gets that way gets there from being just absolutely dragged through the mud by some girl they really care for. It happened to me, and although I am no longer quick to ravish a new girl I may like, it is still an option once I get into the relationship. My past did not destroy the ability I have to be loving. I am just a lot more aware of what may happen if I open up too fast or lets things get out of control quicker.

Everyone needs to be **** on by a selfish female in order to truly grow as a man. Or at least that's my opinion. I am thankful to the girl that did this to me - hell, I just saw her the other night. I'll enver tell her but she helped me become a man. You guys should look at your situations with these females from a new perspective, and learn not to take out on the next potential partner you may come across. Don't let the past continue to hurt you. Let go.

I didn't, I learned from others mistakes before I had the chance to make the same mistake myself, Feelsgoodman.jpg. People need to realise that naturally, we are not monogamous creatures, no matter how much we would like to be, it just isn't reality. We can pretend that reality is a fuking disney movie, or we can do what we were born to do, and spread our seed with as many girls as possible.

Life is not a disney movie, you do not get sex by being nice to a girl. You get sex by being dominant and alpha. Girls have different preferences, some girls like bad boys, some girls don't. People love to butt into relationships where a girl is treat badly and want to be the white knight that saves the girl from such a horrible *******, but in reality, a girl who stays with a guy who is abusive actually likes it. They prefer the emotional rollercoaster as opposed to the boring flatline of emotions they would get with a nice guy.

If you are in a relationship and are having sex with someone and babies aren't popping out, your instinct is always going to be that the person you're having sex with is infertile, and you need to move on elsewhere to reproduce, this goes both ways for males and females. Even nice girls will be tempted to cheat. They might not go out and seek it, but if they are put into a position where a guy will aggressively peruse them, their submissive instincts will kick in and they will succumb.

[jamestown0101]

You become aware that there are tons of women, many of whom want to ****, that they come, and go but, most importantly, notasingle****isgiven.jpg as it is just life.



Its fine to like or love a girl. You are still a man at the end of the say. ACT LIKE IT. Hit on bishes. Depersonalize it all. Who the **** cares what they think if they are bitchy or rude. At the end of the day, all I wanna know is if she is adventurous or not. If not, DISREGARD & REPEAT with other girls. ALWAYS REPEAT.

Even if a girl likes or loves a man but, he is sitting when he pees like most *******s today, she loses respect for him, and everything goes to ****. You like or love a chick, a man should show through his actions not verbalizing that ****. This ain't hollwood. Wake the **** up people.

I ****ed with this girl last year that pickedme up. The next couple of times we hung out (and by that I mean smash), she brought up all the bull**** things guys do from movie lines or bying flowers, and acting like a *******. She would then tell all her girlfriends and make fun of how pathetic these men are. So, guys, remember, somewhere out there, there are bishes ripping on you guys each and everytime you end up on ****gy times.

[BigFoigg]

I know people say people who are hard are just bitter from bad relationships. But I think girls will take you for everything they can get in a lot of circumstances. I am definitely a black knight for life now. I thought in a relationship where you said 'I love you' things were different from strangers at a bar. I'm not so sure now.

I know that feel. I was the sweetest, nicest guy to my ex.. to the point that her girl friends and my girl friends were going "omg _____ I wish you were my bf, my bf would never do these things for me!" surprising her with home-cooked dinners, bringing flowers to her at school for no occasion, etc..

And then Frosh came along, I told her that I didn't want her going without me (it was a 3-day long drunk party, basically) and she basically told me "this is my life, I'm going"… I even offered to pay the cancellation fee (beta, I know but w.e) and she turned it down. Which was fair I guess, but if I was in her situation I would never go to something that she was that uncomfortable about. Then she cheated on me at Frosh and I found out from her best friend. Good times

TL;DR? I'm never going to be that sweet, nice, "beta" guy again. Black knight for life, because I - for the life of me - cannot find any of these diamond rare "nice girls" that everyone keeps telling me about

[goodthings]

I'll keep this short, wa smarried 21 years, had the kids etc etc..wife was the last person I though would cheat, shy, quiet, "not interested in other men at all, why would\I etc etc".
anyway after we divorced, I had just banged her ;-) ,and we discussed affairs, she then disclosed to me that while at a party, some guy was coming on to her and she was going to have sex with him (Bert stare from me), however, she had huge tits and was self cosnious about them and while they were making out he said he had always wanted to f cuck her because of her tits, his fate was sealed. but she was going to f uck him.

Ive seen too many women play the good gilr to well and yet, seen soem of the ****ty things they do, and Ive done some ****ty things with them, right now, Icould hook up with a woman who is in an LTR and get head from her next week, that life.
women are masters at undercover.

I cant trust them, simple, not bitter, I just cant

[jamestown0101]

The world made me this way. Been let down 2 mny times, seen to much bs growing up. Then as far bck as I can remember I've been ****ing girls with boyfriends. I know I'm not that special, so I just kind of oncluded that women aren't loyal or worth becoming attached 2. I'm really just cold hearted, can't afford 2 be anything else.

You have given out too much Reputation in the last 24 hours, try again later

Yeah man. I've been around the block more then once. Let me say, there are cool chicks out there, awesome women, women you could commit too or even wife up (which then contradicts a lot of what I am saying about marriage as well as the misc) but, kids is game over and too much is at stake. I didn't wire the game or makle the rules. I just know how to play the game. If a chick is cool, I am cool back but, if she is shady as ****, I am mirroring right back at her. I am 99% of the time straight up about it but, if she is playing games, I will lie, cheat, and steal, maybe even kill to get some of that pink means pussy.

The problem is that all things are not equal, women are on a different playing field, been pedestalled and chased since they were pre teens and popped titties. The are predisposed to options, tons and tons of men catering to them. You learn through experience, most of which are that the majority of the girls are not someone I will recollect or remember in weeks time. There are some chicks, it is just sex, others, we are friends that **** and expect nothing of each other. You could be ****ing with a cool chick and something comes of it but, the lust and sexual start was there from day 1. You keep it real.

There is nothing wrong OP with liking or loving a girl. Just don't be some beta ******* that sits when he pees. Dont be on ***gy times telling women they complete you or some gay action you saw on tv from some other ******* in how men should treat or be with girls. March to the beat of your own drum. In my life up till age 27, there are how many girls do you imagine were worthy? A handful or two. Part of it is traveling, life experience, worldly experience and yes, having something more important then chasing bishes. Have some purpose in life, a direction, and or cause you are at.

[halberstram]

Take my advice guys, don't get into a relationship because it will just fuk you in the end. Its better to never experience love than to be destroyed by it in the end. Good luck chaps

[Lieb]

I enjoy dating and going out to dinners and events with a girl but I don't have much emotional attachment and after a few months (when she wants to get more serious) I lose interest. I care about the girls I date but don't feel the need for all that romantic love stuff. I have my own hobbies and don't see the need for a girl other than sex and going out.

I didn't use to be this way. I used to be a romantic chump that pretty much used a girl as most of my identity and learned this mistake the hard way. Now, over 2 years after my divorce I just have no interest in how I used to be (lighting candles and ravishing a girl and all that stuff).


So for all you other guys that go against society saying you should settle down with a girl...how did you end up feeling that way? Have you always had no interest or did you have some major fallout that made you cold towards getting serious with someone?

you realize that quality girls, or friends in general are very hard to find, and you stop investing so much of yourself in relationships in general. usually from experiences, a combination of good and bad. specific to women, I think this happens as you increase your self worth. you begin to see girls for what they are, casual dating and sex, or a potential partner, the latter being extremely rare.

cliffs- experience + self worth + confidence = life not dominated by female approval

[manletgenetics]

if you trust people outside of your family in this life you are a fuarking retard who deserves whatever you get.

[azn3r1c]

I stopped revolving my life around women for once, after I lost weight, school, work, paying the bills. After being so preoccupied with life up I lost the mentality of doing this and that to please them. Also I stopped being the "nice guy".

[bongowongo]

if you trust people outside of your family in this life you are a fuarking retard who deserves whatever you get.

Only Immediate family like like Mum and Dad. Maybe siblings, but parents definitely.







Even relatives can **** all over you.