It's SHOWTIME!!! Tara's Cutting??? :eek:

**Emma-Leigh** · 06-12-2008, 01:09 PM

Originally Posted by twinnett

Well, I've been doing some thinking. I'm not sure that I really want to compete. I know this will surprise some of you and not really shock some of you. I think that what I really want is to LOOK like I could compete you know?

I feel like all of this is starting to be pressure on me, rather than fun. I'm tired and weak and not recovering well from workouts. I still want to cut and look awesome, but I don't really want to get on stage in heels and spend tons of money. I feel like I'm letting my job and my family and my relationship w/ God suffer b/c of this. I hate thinkin that I can't even have an apple until October you know?

I want this to be FUN! I want to be fit and healthy and happy b/c it's what I want and what makes me happy, rather than the pressure of some judge telling me what's wrong with me. Maybe in the future, I will see it differently, but for now, I think it's mentally healthier for me to cut for ME, not for a competition...just typin this is a huge weight off my shoulders!.I do sort of feel like a failure though

you know my thoughts on this my muscles....

So --> hold your head up high. You have not failed in the least. This decision is the bravest one you could have made - you have decided to follow your heart and to change your mind despite all the pressure there was to 'compete'. And that is wonderful and is a very strong thing to do.

You have stepped forward, and stuck up for yourself --> FINALLY, you have said 'you know what - I am going to do do what is best for ME and what will make ME happy.....'

And that is all you need to do.

**jaim91** · 06-12-2008, 01:22 PM

Originally Posted by twinnett

700 cals burnt! A new record..and that's w/ NO cardio!

My workoutz is hard

I'm glad you feel you're making the right decision. Props to you for being so strong and level headed about the situation. When the time is right for you to get on stage, you'll know...and we'll all be ready to see you rock it!

**NGR8SHAPE** · 06-12-2008, 01:40 PM

Phew I love to burn that much without cardio....

Somethings are not meant for everybody... I cannot fathom ever working in corporate america... the bigger a company gets, the more people running the show that do not have good morals (Enron for example). A desk 9-5 job will never be for me...

I rant about corporate america because I was using it as an example. Your love for training and love for eating clean should be who you are now whether you put on the Protan and heels or not. Everything does serve a purpose for whatever length of time, right or wrong, good or bad. You embrace and move on. Training for a competition has now made you into a healthy Tara... it has served its purpose...Emma has served her purpose with you. And knowing Emma, seeing you transform into the gem you are today is far more rewarding than you protan-ing wearing 4 inches of cloth (lol...).

You've made it gf...and what an awesome beautiful person you are for seeing things for what they are and listening to yourself....dig it!

**mizone** · 06-12-2008, 01:45 PM

Originally Posted by Emma-Leigh

you know my thoughts on this my muscles....

So --> hold your head up high. You have not failed in the least. This decision is the bravest one you could have made - you have decided to follow your heart and to change your mind despite all the pressure there was to 'compete'. And that is wonderful and is a very strong thing to do.

You have stepped forward, and stuck up for yourself --> FINALLY, you have said 'you know what - I am going to do do what is best for ME and what will make ME happy.....'

Well said (as always!!!)

Be proud of yourself even just for sharing those thoughts here Tara, its a big thing to admit when you decide not to do something that you think you have wanted...kudos to you

**amj0883** · 06-12-2008, 02:08 PM

Tara - I really am so proud of you right now!!! That is such a hard thing to come to terms with....

That is the exact reason I doubt I will ever compete...BUT you can still look like a bodybuilder and be damn sexy

Your happiness is the most important and keeping life fun!

Just because you bodybuild does not mean you HAVE to compete....it just means you love your body...which you do!

Your amazing - remember that!

**Buffycat3** · 06-12-2008, 02:18 PM

Tara....keep doing what you LOVE doing....Training and Eating!
And doing it like you are prepping for a comp.

Keep up the workouts, keep up the diet....Have fun...and before you know it you will have the body of your goal and desire.

**dukefanregard** · 06-12-2008, 02:19 PM

Like many of us have told you numerous times... we're all on your side regardless of your decisions!

I completely understand what your saying, I just want to look like I compete, not necessarily do. Plus you can always change your mind & try again a different time.

You've figured out your priorities & are setting right what's most important.

**ubermumma** · 06-12-2008, 02:32 PM

Come here and let me give ya a big hug....I am so proud of you T

I know I haven't posted in your journal, but i've been reading everyday....and feeling your stress and not knowing what to say, i'm sorry for that. BUT I am so happy you want to regain your workouts....and do them for YOU. YOU deserve all you could ever wish for, and more

Hi 5's T and hands her an apple.. *juicy bite*!!!

**doindbt** · 06-12-2008, 03:15 PM

Originally Posted by ubermumma

Come here and let me give ya a big hug....I am so proud of you T

I know I haven't posted in your journal, but i've been reading everyday....and feeling your stress and not knowing what to say, i'm sorry for that. BUT I am so happy you want to regain your workouts....and do them for YOU. YOU deserve all you could ever wish for, and more

Hi 5's T and hands her an apple.. *juicy bite*!!!

I couldn't have put it better myself!!! You are SOOOO not a failure! I think you're amazing and I'm thrilled that you have peace about this decision and can get back to enjoying what you do without stress!

**LionChick** · 06-12-2008, 05:10 PM

Right on to all of the above... if your lifestyle is making you hate your life, then why stick with it...

bodybuilding is about exactly what the compound word describes--- "building" as in sculpting, molding, designing, repairing, creating your ideal "body." showing is by no means inherent in building, although should you desire to show, you certainly have the freedom to. and building inevitably comes with its challenges too, sticky points where changes must be made to see further progress, or where laziness gets in teh way of progress, or where something just doesn't fit the plan... but in the end the body gets built anyway, maybe not perfect but always adaptable and always changing...

As much as we don't say it on here, the mind is just as imperative part of the body as the muscles and the gut.. it also has to be built and strengthened and developed-- and you having the courage to really take hold of what you desire-- a healthy body, but with the freedom to indulge in moderation, I think?-- that shows that you are building your mind as well.

so, as said above-- whether you're wearing a mylar speedo and bra covered in ocher orange tan spray and looking like a beta carotine overdose or whether you are chowing out behind an all you can eat bar-be-que with no concern for your fitness whatsoever, you are still the tara that we love reading and learning about, and so we (or at least i) encourage you to just pursue whatever brings you joy!

**irishgirlma** · 06-12-2008, 06:19 PM

Tara I know I am really new to your journal but I wanted to let you know that your post sounded so at peace and that is a great place to be! Do not feel like a failure- you've figured out what you really want, just do you : )

keep your head up!!

**moisy** · 06-13-2008, 02:03 AM

Good morning Tara

I just read your post ... and truly believe that you should listen to your heart on this one and follow it

You are a beautiful strong woman and always will be ... competing in a contest is not going to make you a better person ... being true and honest with yourself and following a path that will make you happy, peaceful and content will make you a better person

I think the idea of training for the sake of training and eating well is great. That is EXACTLY how I live my life ... I love to train and I love to eat ... and I like to maintain a nice lean healthy appearance for ME and not to compete. I think this is a great place to be for you - its all about balance and moderation in my opinion

So DAMN IT ... GO HAVE THAT APPLE!!!!!!! LOL

WE LOVE YOU!!!!!!

**imperfectly_lou** · 06-13-2008, 02:09 AM

Originally Posted by Buffycat3

Tara....keep doing what you LOVE doing....Training and Eating!
And doing it like you are prepping for a comp.

Keep up the workouts, keep up the diet....Have fun...and before you know it you will have the body of your goal and desire.

I don't think that's what she meant Joan. If I recall correctly, Tara is exhausted from training and eating as if she is competing and is NOT having fun with it....

Tara sweetie, I think you've made a fantastic decision. Training for the pure love of it is worth so much more than any competition and it will see you further in terms of health and happiness. I am so so proud of you, truly am.

**Buffycat3** · 06-13-2008, 02:25 AM

Originally Posted by imperfectly_lou

I don't think that's what she meant Joan. If I recall correctly, Tara is exhausted from training and eating as if she is competing and is NOT having fun with it....

Tara sweetie, I think you've made a fantastic decision. Training for the pure love of it is worth so much more than any competition and it will see you further in terms of health and happiness. I am so so proud of you, truly am.

What I meant was, When you change your mind-set from the worrisome of prepping for a comp, to the 'fun' of bbing...then the love of the lifstyle then becomes FUN, W/out the worry and overwhelmness of a 'date' (comp)

I know that Tara loves her lifestyle.. and if she was to just enjoy her choice in bbing/healthy lifestyle and leave out the 'deadline', her body will realx, her mind will relax, and in turn she will see beautiful results in body, mind and heart.

Tara do what you love to do, no matter what it is.

Relax and Be Happy

**sherdi** · 06-13-2008, 02:47 AM

Add me to the list of being proud of you....Tara, as Emma says, you have stuck up for yourself and decided on something that feels right to you...., bbing is not your whole life, it's only a small component and it shouldn't "take over"...there are far too many other important things in life as you have stated...and if you feel you cannot focus on the important stuff, there is no question really.....do what makes you feel good, makes you feel happy

**Angela R** · 06-13-2008, 03:21 AM

Hi Tara,

I think everyone has covered all the bases on giving you props for your positive thinking =)

Lift and be HAPPY, girl ;-)

There are enough a-holes out there to fight and argue with you don't need to struggle with yourself ;-)

Have a good weekend.

**jordan1007** · 06-13-2008, 03:48 AM

You crack me up, you don't even know how far from a failure you are. Man our own minds can beat us up.

It makes purpose sense what you want-I too want to run like I could run a 10K and place, but I don't plan on actually running it.

You are a total motivation to some of us struggling chicks, you are a machine and its lucky for THEM you decided not to compete this time,

Hang in there kid, you made a mature decision!

**twinnett** · 06-13-2008, 05:46 AM

*BIG HUGS*

You all are amazing!!!!!!!!! Thank you so much for all of your positive, supportive comments! I will say that the competing bug hasn't left me completely..lol...I still feel like I want to do at least one, but now is just not the time you know? I'm starting a new, more stressful job with longer hours. The fall will be full, even weekends are football games and band shows, etc. Also, I just do NOT have the money to do this thing right...WAY too many bills!!!

Right now, I need to concentrate on getting my master's this summer and being successful with my new job. Training will NOT go on the back burner though!!! I am still cutting away this fat, but I'm just not going to worry about a certain date..I still want to be cut and ripped and lean and hot!!

For my diet, I'm going to do something that works for ME! I like having some carbs around my workouts. I have a tendency to binge if I try to restrict too much, so instead of setting myself up to fail and binge, I'm going to work with my body!

So, workout days, I'll do some carbs pre and post workout w/ whey right after my workout and protein, fats, vegies the rest of the day...rest days, I'll just have a small serving of carbs in the morning, then protein, fat, veggies the rest of the day. Sort of more like the Lifestyle Cut Diet. I like the flexibility, and if something pops up, I can work with it. I'm going to allow myself one treat a week for now, and we'll see how it goes!

I weighed myself this morning, and I've gained .4# this past week. I'm still down .8# from 2 weeks ago, so not bad..

Anyway, thanks again everyone!!! You're the best!

**vanessa40** · 06-13-2008, 05:51 AM

Tara,
Girl you are doing great
Sounds like you are in a good place mentally..
You'll be cut before you know it

**MiaFey** · 06-13-2008, 06:05 AM

Good thing to follow your heart and desires. This way you'll stick with everything and won't give up!

You already are SUPER HOT, anyway

**twinnett** · 06-13-2008, 06:19 AM

I just had oatmeal for breakfast!!! Woo hoo...sooo good...mixed up w/ PB and a whey "milkshake" w/ frozen banana..mmmm

**moon girl** · 06-13-2008, 06:39 AM

Great attitude Tara! I'm so happy you're choosing what *you* feel is right rather than what think you should feel is right.

**vanessa40** · 06-13-2008, 07:35 AM

Originally Posted by twinnett

I just had oatmeal for breakfast!!! Woo hoo...sooo good...mixed up w/ PB and a whey "milkshake" w/ frozen banana..mmmm

OMG..
That's sounds sooooooo good

**twinnett** · 06-13-2008, 10:24 AM

FRIDAY: SHOULDERS

1/4 LAT RAISE: 21#..inc. wt

5 sets of various ab exercises

REAR DELT CABLE PULL BACKS: 55#...inc wt

CANDLESTICK RAISES: 11#..inc. wt

REAR DELT PULSES: 11#..inc. wt

STANDING CALF: 60#..inc. wt

DIAGONAL FRONT RAISES: 11#...inc. wt

UR ROWS: st. bar +22#..inc. wt

CARDIO: 20min. treadmill post workout

TOTAL TIME: 1:45
HR: 125 avg
CALS: 650

SLEEP: 8 hrs

WATER: 2.5 L so far

ACTIVITY: above + dog walk if it cools down tonight..muggy!!!!

NUTRITION:

1: 1 scoop whey, 1/2 banana, 1/2 c. oats, 1 TBSP PB

*** XTEND during WO and 1 scoop whey post WO***

2: 2 pcs. Ezekiel, 2 tsp. olive oil, 4 oz tuna, romaine/onions

3: 6 egg whites, 1 c. asparagus, 1 TBSP tahini

4: 4 oz chicken, 2 tsp olive oil, broccoli

5: 4 egg whites, 1/2 scoop whey, 2 tsp unsweetened cocoa, 1 tsp psyillium topped w/ 1 TBSP PB

1763 cals
60 fat
122 carbs
188 protein

I've upped the carbs a bit and cut back a little on the protein. I worry about the whole kidney thing. I don't think I really NEED the 250 or 260 g. I was getting on the cut diet!

OTHER STUFF: So it's REALLY muggy here today!!! I have to go into school for a bit and run an errand for my mom. I might go with Phil to the Dr. He has to get an MRI on his shoulder. He hurt it lifting a few months ago and it's still bugging him. With this outdoor job he has, he's lost about 10#...into the 280s!!! woo hoo!

WARNING: GROSS INFO AHEAD!

My stomach is still "off" too. I've had diarrhea for 4 days now and it comes on really really quick! It's like what I eat is just passing right through me!
I'm going back to the endo on Tuesday and I'll see what they say...if I need to go to a Dr. or something. Until then, I'm just loading up on water and taking it easy...other than the working out part! lol

I'll be resting Saturday and Sunday...just some stretching and walks. We have a grad. party for Drew's cousin on Sat (oh hooray! ) and Sunday, we might have our dads over and grill some steaks for them. Drew went to that grilling class, so he thinks he's a master griller now..lol

Rented a really bad movie yesterday called "Mad Money" ...don't rent it!!! lol I should have known better when it had Dianne Keaton in it..lol

Anyway, off to school and then home to the AC!!!

**girl22** · 06-13-2008, 10:36 AM

Hi there! Looking good! Glad you are finding a hppy medium! Only you know what works best for you!!! Keep it up!

**Lckymii** · 06-13-2008, 01:24 PM

Wow so much has been going on in here!
Competing or not you're going to be one hot mama

Sorry about your tummy

Could it be stress/emotions playing with you? Sometimes that happens to me, and in the exact same way. Eat then it's all gone

Any how I hope it gets figured out so you won't worry too much.

**AgeRage** · 06-13-2008, 03:49 PM

So maybe you should change your journal title

All is well with your soul.....

**IronMaiden1522** · 06-13-2008, 08:02 PM

Damn I am always late!!
lol..
Well I mean its all been said. But I just want to say that knowing what is right for you is the most important thing! I have tossed around competing too, but i realized I just like the looks the competitors, I dont want to actually go on a stage and be judged! So I totally get it.

So enjoy some more oatmeal

Your new plan sounds great and very doable

**kledbetter** · 06-13-2008, 08:09 PM

Originally Posted by twinnett

WARNING: GROSS INFO AHEAD!

My stomach is still "off" too. I've had diarrhea for 4 days now and it comes on really really quick! It's like what I eat is just passing right through me!
I'm going back to the endo on Tuesday and I'll see what they say...if I need to go to a Dr. or something. Until then, I'm just loading up on water and taking it easy...other than the working out part! lol

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ok so this happens to me when i'm stressed out... like during exams in law school , i'd be like this for 2 weeks straight.

anyways... seems like you are doing well. have a great weekend

**kimm4** · 06-13-2008, 08:58 PM

Originally Posted by twinnett

Well, I've been doing some thinking. I'm not sure that I really want to compete. I know this will surprise some of you and not really shock some of you. I think that what I really want is to LOOK like I could compete you know?

I feel like all of this is starting to be pressure on me, rather than fun. I'm tired and weak and not recovering well from workouts. I still want to cut and look awesome, but I don't really want to get on stage in heels and spend tons of money. I feel like I'm letting my job and my family and my relationship w/ God suffer b/c of this. I hate thinkin that I can't even have an apple until October you know?

I want this to be FUN! I want to be fit and healthy and happy b/c it's what I want and what makes me happy, rather than the pressure of some judge telling me what's wrong with me. Maybe in the future, I will see it differently, but for now, I think it's mentally healthier for me to cut for ME, not for a competition...just typin this is a huge weight off my shoulders!.I do sort of feel like a failure though

That being said, i think I have some sort of stomach virus...been for the past couple days. i'm feeling better today, but let's just say the toilet issues have been icky!!! Had a great workout even with those issues though!!!! 700 cals burnt! A new record..and that's w/ NO cardio!

I'm going shoppin for awhile with my friend for sandels to take to Chicago...

Drew ate Ezekiel bread today!!!!! (we were out of white..lol)

You know that everyone here will support you no matter what your decision is. This is a very selfish sport and I can't tell you how many things I've given up over the years to get on stage. But this is my passion and it's the choice I've made. My family and friends have been so supportive and understanding...without that I've wouldn't never gone this far.

It's very hard and you need stay focused and dedicated till the end. When it becomes nothing but work and it's no longer fun, then I agree you need to stop now. This doesn't mean you will never get on stage...maybe it just isn't the right time...and there's nothing wrong with that

Enjoy your weekend hun!!

Thread: It's SHOWTIME!!! Tara's Cutting??? :eek:

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