Opinions? What is the ideal age for a woman to have children?

[Alien5]

I still consider myself young, but already am getting worried about having kids. What's your opinion on when is best to have children, in terms of health and stability for the child? I always thought before 30 would be good, but the possibility seems so out of reach right now..... and even though I sometimes daydream about having kids, alot of times I still feel like a kid myself!

[DjinnMarie]

I still consider myself young, but already am getting worried about having kids. What's your opinion on when is best to have children, in terms of health and stability for the child? I always thought before 30 would be good, but the possibility seems so out of reach right now..... and even though I sometimes daydream about having kids, alot of times I still feel like a kid myself!

I have 3 kids, and is till feel like a kid as well. I think we all do on some level.

The perfect age to have children varies by person. I had my first at 22, and my third and last at 28. It worked out well for us, but we always wanted to be young(ish) parents.

[megdaig]

I'm the same! I still feel a bit immature at times.

I'm 29...just got married not even two weeks ago. Maybe I'll have my first when I'm 30 even though I wish I could wait a bit longer but neither of us are getting younger (he's 43).

When I see people in their mid twenties having babies I catch myself thinking "she's too young to have a baby"...and then I gasp when I think about all the pregnant teens I've seen or grew up knowing...EEK.

But I think my perception is more based on their position. Married/single...job/no job..,educated/HS dropout, etc.

An example of how circumstances sway my thoughts on such a subject:
I have a 19 year old cousin going on #2 and think "oh lord"...HS dropout..at least she got a GED...but no job, family is poor and always on assistance. Had her first at 17 with a deadbeat loser she pines over for not being there and getting other girls knocked up....can't afford diapers and all of a sudden a baby #2 sounds like a good plan!?!?? And somehow thinks baby daddy #2 will stick around (I don't see it) :/ /end rant

[Alien5]

I have 3 kids, and is till feel like a kid as well. I think we all do on some level.

The perfect age to have children varies by person. I had my first at 22, and my third and last at 28. It worked out well for us, but we always wanted to be young(ish) parents.

yeah, I always imagined myself being a young, active parent........

I'm the same! I still feel a bit immature at times.

I'm 29...just got married not even two weeks ago. Maybe I'll have my first when I'm 30 even though I wish I could wait a bit longer but neither of us are getting younger (he's 43).

When I see people in their mid twenties having babies I catch myself thinking "she's too young to have a baby"...and then I gasp when I think about all the pregnant teens I've seen or grew up knowing...EEK.

But I think my perception is more based on their position. Married/single...job/no job..,educated/HS dropout, etc.

congratulations on your marriage!!

yeah I'm 25 and not getting married anytime soon, so sometimes I get worried by the time I get around to it I will be too old and crotchety to be an active mom for my kids.

[megdaig]

yeah, I always imagined myself being a young, active parent........




congratulations on your marriage!!

yeah I'm 25 and not getting married anytime soon, so sometimes I get worried by the time I get around to it I will be too old and crotchety to be an active mom for my kids.

Thanks!

Well you lift so at any age I think you'll still be an active mom.

I thought the same at 25...was 4 years in on my 7 year relationship that I had conceded to that I didn't want to get married and didn't want to have kids (his persuasion...azzhole! <-- not the guy I married). I even began discussing freezing embryos with my doc just last year because I was almost certain I'd be 35+ before I found the person I wanted to be with and start a family....

[malamujer]

I had my kids at 31 and 32 for me it was the perfect age of course. Although most of my friends had had their kids already and they had given up on me ever having children. I'm 47 now and don't feel too old...well some days I do.

[DjinnMarie]

yeah, I always imagined myself being a young, active parent........




congratulations on your marriage!!

yeah I'm 25 and not getting married anytime soon, so sometimes I get worried by the time I get around to it I will be too old and crotchety to be an active mom for my kids.

Raising a kid at 22 and now with 3 at 31, it doesn't feel much different. If you keep yourself fit and healthy I really don't see it being a problem. The only difference I see now than when I was 22, is I don't handle sleepless nights as well as I used to. I just can't seem to recharge my batteries. But I don't know if it's from age or just more on my plate right now. I NEED 8 hours minimum now, as opposed to when I was 22 8 hours felt like I slept all day.

[rockangel]

I had my first at 24 and my second at 26. I felt young than and still do now, but i always wanted to have all my kids done by the time i was 30. Just my personal decision.

Im glad i did it that way, i feel like my body is now my own, no breast feeding or preggo or hormone craziness. And I am enjoying molding my body into what i want. I honestly didnt care about my body or looks until after i got preggo (i find that odd).

Actually i would like more kids, just never want to be preggo again. Hubby and I are hoping to do foster and/or adoption at some point, but i want my kids to be older for a lot of reasons.

I would guess that there is no "perfect" age for everyone.

[AlexW1991]

An example of how circumstances sway my thoughts on such a subject:
I have a 19 year old cousin going on #2 and think "oh lord"...HS dropout..at least she got a GED...but no job, family is poor and always on assistance. Had her first at 17 with a deadbeat loser she pines over for not being there and getting other girls knocked up....can't afford diapers and all of a sudden a baby #2 sounds like a good plan!?!?? And somehow thinks baby daddy #2 will stick around (I don't see it) :/ /end rant

This is the worst! My 25 year old brother had his gf move in to the house my dad bought for him after only 3 months of dating. Come to find out, the girl has 2 YOUNG babies (like toddler and 1 year old) from 2 different dads. Somehow he thinks he'll be the one to get it together for her; not to mention the fact that these 2 kids are going to see him as their dad since they're in prime development stage.

No wonder I'm the favorite

[dawnmsaunders]

For me, I can't see myself having kids ANY time soon! I'm not even sure if I want them. I mean, I might some day, but because I feel like a kid still, the idea is so foreign to me.

I have an older sister who's only 10 months older than me. She has 3 kids (she had her first at 18, and her 3rd at almost 27.. married when she was 25.. same guy). I look at her and think, "Wow that could be me right now. Do I want that??" And the answer is no. I just can't handle that, and I'm way too selfish for children (not a selfish person, but not able to give my all to molding a little human's mind... you get the idea ). I think being a mother is self-less and demanding, and I just don't want to put the energy into that. I have a puppy, and that's all I need. Plus, I can put him in a crate when he's fussy. Can't do that with kids.

[TheAmazon]

29, just had my first kid. I feel like I"m late to the game but *meh*

[latebloomingmom]

had my first son at 24
second at 32
never made much difference to me at the time
now I am 45 and my first baby is gonna have his first baby
so the cool part is being a young(ish) grandma

[Ma110W]

For me, never. Fur babies for life!

[AsheTuff]

I am 22 and hope to have children at 30. Still have 2 more years of school, and then I need work experience. It's tough these days for girls. I would like to have children younger, but my priority is establishing a career first for myself.

Guys never think of these things, but its on the back of every girl's mind.

[Violettt]

When I was younger, I felt like the ideal age was 25. But now that I'm 23, I don't feel like having kids or even imagine a life with kids. I still feel like a child myself and honestly...I'm too selfish with my time/money/etc atm. This could change in the future though. I want my career to be set and preferably be married before I have kids. I'm content with dogs haha

[snowbunny78]

For me, never. Fur babies for life!

Amen to that! Although, apparently that makes me selfish. Not quite sure how people work that one out

[Hannah73Louise]

I had my six between 20 and 32 and am so glad I did. My husband worked and I stayed at home with them when they were small. Now I'm 40 and the youngest is 8 I have time for me and I'm young enough to enjoy it. Halfway through a full time dietetics and nutrition degree, by the time I qualify the kids won't need any childcare and I still have 25+ working years to enjoy a career. I feel way to old at 40 to be having babies.

[Cara0915]

I don't think this is a one size fits all answer.

It depends on the maturity level, financial position, and the support system the mother has.
I think probably 30 is a good all around age to start having children as most people by then have figured out and are comfortable career wise, are either married or in long term, steady relationships, probably have a home and have gotten the "party years" out of their system.
No ones ever truly prepared to have a baby though no matter what the age

[JillUB]

I don't think there is a perfect age, but there is a point at which its getting a little late, I think? I'm getting antsy now to have kids. I'm 33 and my boyfriend is 36. Most likely we won't get pregnant for another year, which means I will be close to 35 by the time I have my first. I want two, so at that point I think it needs to be all about kids all the time for a few years. I'm worried that its getting too late. But I didn't meet the man I wanted kids with until 2 years ago, so... well... that's just the way the cookie crumbles.

[Hannah82]

Ideal how? Medically or lifestyle wise? I mean u can probably give ur child more financially and be more emotionally ready in 30+ but risk for medical conditions is greater, fertility is lower etc. Early 20's would be "ideal" in that regard.

[NICKOPATRA]

I suppose for health reasons, sometime in your 20's is ideal. Having said that, I think that living the fitness lifestyle keeps you younger for a lot longer so maybe we're extending our "best by" dates LOL

In your 30's you're more stable in every way (well, most people are anyways) so I'd say after 30 is better.

I'm 35 and still feel too young though.......36 is a nice round number LOL

Geez, people are having kids well into their 40's now.....look at Halle Berry!

[rdferguson]

Biologically, about 15-35. Socially, thanks to us being more or less retarded, 25-35. From 35 onwards, the risks associated with pregnancy rapidly accumulate (obviously, this varies from person to person). In particular, the likelihood of the child having Downs Syndrome basically doubles every year, so at 15-35 there's about a 1/1000 chance of DS; at 36, 1/500; at 37, 1/200; at 38, 1/100; at 39, 1/50; etc.

There's an idea floating around that high school is basically a glorified holding pen, and despite me currently studying to be a high school teacher (or, perhaps the reason why I'm studying to be a high school teacher, as I feel this needs to change), I more or less agree. That's about half a decade in which I think kids are actually going through stunted intellectual, social, emotional and spiritual growth -- these things do happen during those years, but I don't think the current system is very good at it. So we come to the point in life where we're legally adults, but we're not actually at a stage in life where we're set to live and behave like adults. We go off to uni, that's another 4 years of not really being an adult, although arguably a much more productive 4 years than the time spent at high school, since there's more deliberate purpose to it in relation to one's life. Once we graduate, we then spend a few years grounding ourselves in our professions and finally learning to be adults. I don't know...given the discrepancy between biology and society on when it becomes a good idea to start reproducing, I feel like we're doing something wrong.

[rockangel]

Biologically, about 15-35. Socially, thanks to us being more or less retarded, 25-35. From 35 onwards, the risks associated with pregnancy rapidly accumulate (obviously, this varies from person to person). In particular, the likelihood of the child having Downs Syndrome basically doubles every year, so at 15-35 there's about a 1/1000 chance of DS; at 36, 1/500; at 37, 1/200; at 38, 1/100; at 39, 1/50; etc.

There's an idea floating around that high school is basically a glorified holding pen, and despite me currently studying to be a high school teacher (or, perhaps the reason why I'm studying to be a high school teacher, as I feel this needs to change), I more or less agree. That's about half a decade in which I think kids are actually going through stunted intellectual, social, emotional and spiritual growth -- these things do happen during those years, but I don't think the current system is very good at it. So we come to the point in life where we're legally adults, but we're not actually at a stage in life where we're set to live and behave like adults. We go off to uni, that's another 4 years of not really being an adult, although arguably a much more productive 4 years than the time spent at high school, since there's more deliberate purpose to it in relation to one's life. Once we graduate, we then spend a few years grounding ourselves in our professions and finally learning to be adults. I don't know...given the discrepancy between biology and society on when it becomes a good idea to start reproducing, I feel like we're doing something wrong.

I agree a lot with this.

[kimm4]

Had my 1st at 18 and my 2nd at 29. I would have loved to have another but it never worked out that way. Now I have grandkids...so I'm good!

[IamTurkey]

under 30 and when you feel you can take care of the child properly.

[Wyomann]

Had my first at 20, now I'm old and will probably have another when I'm 40 and every 20 years if things go as planned: at 20 y/o, at 40 y/o, at 60 y/o and maybe at 80 y/o.

[Ma110W]

Amen to that! Although, apparently that makes me selfish. Not quite sure how people work that one out

I have heard this argument many times, but if you ask me it's extremely selfless to realize that you are not parent material. Or maybe you are but that's just not what you want. It's much better than popping out babies just to pop them out and then not giving them the love and care that they need.

Had my first at 20, now I'm old and will probably have another when I'm 40 and every 20 years if things go as planned: at 20 y/o, at 40 y/o, at 60 y/o and maybe at 80 y/o.

This is my favorite answer so far!

[sonti]

I had mine at 24 and 27. I'm glad that I am done the young baby stage by 30. My oldest is disabled and I really don't think I would have coped with that well physically if I was much older, I barely survived in my early 20's. Mind you, it would have been nice to have a more carefree 20's as well. I don't think anything is right or wrong, I know girls who had kids at 18 and are happy to have the freedom now, and friends in their late 30's who are happy to have waited.

Age and childhood disabilities aside, you learn to deal with whatever situation happens.

[latebloomingmom]

Had my first at 20, now I'm old and will probably have another when I'm 40 and every 20 years if things go as planned: at 20 y/o, at 40 y/o, at 60 y/o and maybe at 80 y/o.

you aint that old big talker..
friend of my ex husband's got remarried at 43
his wife was 29 at time
they now have two beautiful girls two years apart

[IronCitGrl]

Never.

We did it to ourselves. We wanted equal rights as men and to be treated the same as men. Therefore, instead of being at home and actually RAISING children women must now have to work. Unfortunately,women nowadays are expected to work and raise children. This is putting so much stress on women. On top of that we are expected to take care of our husbands, have a clean house and always look or best otherwise we are viewed as fat, lazy slobs.

Besides with everything you have to pay for and the expenses of raising a child how does anyone have money to have children?!

My advice would be to NOT be a working mom. You aren't raising your children a babysitter is. I wish women would calm the f*** down and realize there is no such thing as superwoman.

If you want kids (you don't have to just because everyone else is)find a rich man to have them with so you can raise them yourself.

I'm sure ppl will disagree with this but whatever