Eating Disorder Support Group

[ErikTheElectric]

Need some support, I feel awful. There are trolls on this site who will just tear your body apart, even after I put myself through all of the time and effort of meal planning, and working out, basically jeopardizing my recovery to get criticized on here???

Then don't listen to them. They are unaware of your struggles/situation and give little thought to the words that they
type and the things they say to the person on the OTHER side of the computer screen that has to wake up day in and day out and deal with the effects of this disorder.

At the end of it all, look where you are.
You're on a website, a forum.. that's number one emphasis or one of the major things IS BODY IMAGE and how good "one looks".. How do you not expect people to "tear your body apart"? or
start some sort of physical critique of your physical features if you are posting around here and are openly expressing your thoughts here?

I would suggest seeking advice/help from a THERAPIST.. or just stepping away from this website for a long time.

[Shoot4hoops]

Then don't listen to them. They are unaware of your struggles/situation and give little thought to the words that they
type and the things they say to the person on the OTHER side of the computer screen that has to wake up day in and day out and deal with the effects of this disorder.

At the end of it all, look where you are.
You're on a website, a forum.. that's number one emphasis or one of the major things IS BODY IMAGE and how good "one looks".. How do you not expect people to "tear your body apart"? or
start some sort of physical critique of your physical features if you are posting around here and are openly expressing your thoughts here?

I would suggest seeking advice/help from a THERAPIST.. or just stepping away from this website for a long time.

Oh thanks I did talk to my therapist yesterday, I just asked the Relationship Help board because the guys on there are in the age of the guys that I date. It's hard for a 70 year old therapist to know what a guy means when he says x, y and z.

Yet instead they tear my body apart, and I've posted on there I'm strugglig with an ED. They don't get it, they say I must be bipolar yet I've had an ED for 20 years, when the nutrition goes down, my thoughts are all over the place. I've never been diagnosed with bipolar, it's always been ED-NOS.

Yet you're right, people without EDs don't understand and are just quick to critique the body I lift weights and worked hard to be strong, and just label me as bipolar. Sheesh.

It would be nice to understand what younger guys mean, but I have bigger fish to fry to get my nutrition back on track first. Just feel sad and want some love/romance to bring some happiness out of this rough state.

[HipsterPat]

Oh thanks I did talk to my therapist yesterday, I just asked the Relationship Help board because the guys on there are in the age of the guys that I date. It's hard for a 70 year old therapist to know what a guy means when he says x, y and z.

Yet instead they tear my body apart, and I've posted on there I'm strugglig with an ED. They don't get it, they say I must be bipolar yet I've had an ED for 20 years, when the nutrition goes down, my thoughts are all over the place. I've never been diagnosed with bipolar, it's always been ED-NOS.

Yet you're right, people without EDs don't understand and are just quick to critique the body I lift weights and worked hard to be strong, and just label me as bipolar. Sheesh.

It would be nice to understand what younger guys mean, but I have bigger fish to fry to get my nutrition back on track first. Just feel sad and want some love/romance to bring some happiness out of this rough state.

Hey man, keep an open mind. Your psychiatrist/psychologist have lifetimes of experience and they know a lot and want to help you as much as they can. If your bipolar, hey, it's not a big deal. Take it seriously, because the therapy and meds WILL help you, if you are indeed bipolar. I know from experience that my docs know more than me. I thought that I wasn't bipolar, stopped my meds, and ended up OD-ing and going to several mental hospitals. It's serious business if you are bipolar and the sooner you accept that, the less wreckage you will create. There's nothing wrong with being bipolar, don't accept negative stereotypes. Plenty of famous people are bipolar. I hope that all becomes well with you.

[Shoot4hoops]

Hey man, keep an open mind. Your psychiatrist/psychologist have lifetimes of experience and they know a lot and want to help you as much as they can. If your bipolar, hey, it's not a big deal. Take it seriously, because the therapy and meds WILL help you, if you are indeed bipolar. I know from experience that my docs know more than me. I thought that I wasn't bipolar, stopped my meds, and ended up OD-ing and going to several mental hospitals. It's serious business if you are bipolar and the sooner you accept that, the less wreckage you will create. There's nothing wrong with being bipolar, don't accept negative stereotypes. Plenty of famous people are bipolar. I hope that all becomes well with you.

Oh thanks, and my apologies I didn't mean anything against bipolar people. I have family members who suffer and it's a tough illness, and like you said a lot of famous people have it. I just reacted towards the reaction on here "you must be bipolar" as the people on bb.com don't understand the mood swings that come with an ED.

I have generalized anxiety and take medication from that, and it works just fine for years. The mood swings have been happening since I dropped weight, so I know that's the ED talking.

I'm glad you found the right combination of medication! That's a feat within itself!

[ErikTheElectric]

Yet instead they tear my body apart, and I've posted on there I'm strugglig with an ED. They don't get it, they say I must be bipolar yet I've had an ED for 20 years, when the nutrition goes down, my thoughts are all over the place. I've never been diagnosed with bipolar, it's always been ED-NOS.

Yet you're right, people without EDs don't understand and are just quick to critique the body I lift weights and worked hard to be strong, and just label me as bipolar. Sheesh.

It would be nice to understand what younger guys mean, but I have bigger fish to fry to get my nutrition back on track first. Just feel sad and want some love/romance to bring some happiness out of this rough state.

So then I don't know the particular "answer" that your looking to get from posting here. Maybe, I'm just a bit confused. But going back to the fact that you don't have a positive body image YOURSELF, and don't feel satisfied in your own skin and don't think you "look good enough" then what do you expect others to think?

I'm just still trying to wrap my head around what you're trying to say and accomplish in the grand scheme of things, but in the end of your post you mention "getting your nutrition back on track first". So perhaps, you need to start there.

Good luck.

[Shoot4hoops]

So then I don't know the particular "answer" that your looking to get from posting here. Maybe, I'm just a bit confused. But going back to the fact that you don't have a positive body image YOURSELF, and don't feel satisfied in your own skin and don't think you "look good enough" then what do you expect others to think?

I'm just still trying to wrap my head around what you're trying to say and accomplish in the grand scheme of things, but in the end of your post you mention "getting your nutrition back on track first". So perhaps, you need to start there.

Good luck.

I have a positive body image now, I haven't looked this good in years. Yet in order to get to that point I've had to go into a deficit for a long period of time, and it isn't good with my history. So in order to get "in shape" I've had to sacrifice mental clarity and stability.

I don't understand the mentality that my ED drs. had to get me overweight and then tell me to be happy with my size??? Then I had health problems being overweight. Now I'm finally in the healthy weight category yet in order to go from overweight to healthy weight it just doesn't just happen, one has to go into a deficit.

I just feel that dating younger guys makes the ED worse, because I'm 40 and feel I have to compete with 20 year old girls, and work twice as hard to get in shape to compete.

[ErikTheElectric]

I have a positive body image now, I haven't looked this good in years. Yet in order to get to that point I've had to go into a deficit for a long period of time, and it isn't good with my history. So in order to get "in shape" I've had to sacrifice mental clarity and stability.

I don't understand the mentality that my ED drs. had to get me overweight and then tell me to be happy with my size??? Then I had health problems being overweight. Now I'm finally in the healthy weight category yet in order to go from overweight to healthy weight it just doesn't just happen, one has to go into a deficit.

I just feel that dating younger guys makes the ED worse, because I'm 40 and feel I have to compete with 20 year old girls, and work twice as hard to get in shape to compete.

Rather than trying to understand the reasons behind their intentions and their reasoning for treating you the way that they did. Stop looking into the past, and using it to perpetuate and elevate your fears about weight gain or seeking help with your eating disorder. You can disagree with me in what I just stated, but you're posting on an internet forum where we all have the freedom to offer our insights/advice.. and that's the way I see it.
I still believe that you need therapy, and that you need to develop a more positive mindset about yourself. (Think about it: If you were healthy MENTALLY you wouldn't be giving THIS MUCH THOUGHT about "deficits", "Healthy weight categories", "etc". You would simply just wake up and live life the way YOU See fit.. like NORMAL people do)

As for your relationship problems: I don't feel like this is the proper place to discuss that, perhaps talk with your therapist/family/friends about it. Just my 0.02$

[tom626]

Hi everyone, this is my first post on these forums, although I've lurked for a while. It's been enlightening reading some of the posts on this thread, many of which are very similar to my situation. I thought I would add my two cents.

I'll start with some background and brief history about myself. I'm 23 years old, 5'11". My primary fitness focus is distance running and cycling, with some mild core/weight routines thrown in a few times a week.

Before March of this year, I never really paid much attention to my eating habits. In general I tried to eat what I thought was healthy most of the time (although I had never read up on the subject and didn't really know what was healthy and what wasn't). I had a few bad habits but nothing too extreme.

Senior year of college (2009-10) I quit exercising and went from 140 to 170 lbs in about 9 months. At that point I came to my senses and started up training again, although progress was slow. I was able to lose most of the weight I had gained, but seemed to hit a plateau around 150 lbs.

In March 2012 I was prescribed Wellbutrin for depression. I had taken Prozac before but it didn't have much of an effect and I was looking to try something different, as it was becoming difficult to handle the stresses of my job while also going through periodic spells of depression.

The medication made me feel extremely energized and motivated to change my life for the better. I read up a bunch on fitness and nutrition and devised a focused training/diet plan. I was feeling great, and as the weeks went by and I made progress my motivation just kept getting stronger. I had no cravings for junk food of any kind during this period. I was so in the zone that the thought of indulging in that stuff seemed silly to me. Why would I ruin all my progress just for a brief sensation of pleasure? My body felt great, and I knew that junk food would make me feel like crap. It was a no-brainer. Within 2 months I was in the best shape of my life. I had a six-pack for the first time ever, and I weighed 135 lbs.

On June 23rd I took the GRE test and did very well. It was a big relief because I had studied hard and had been stressing out about it. On a whim I decided it would be nice to reward myself with a one-time-only all-out ice cream binge. What harm could it possibly do? I had been kicking ass in all areas of life and I thought I deserved a reward. I went to Dairy Queen and got a large Oreo Brownie Blizzard. I took it home, smoked the last of my marijuana that I had been saving for over a month, and went to town.

Besides sex, that was the single most sensually gratifying experience of my life. I couldn't believe how good it tasted. It was heaven on earth. I felt a little sick the next morning, but I went for a 70 mile bike ride and was back to normal. I felt like I had hacked the universe. How could such an incredibly pleasurable experience have absolutely no consequences whatsoever? I set a plan for myself: one cheat meal per month. I thought it would be easy. I had had no cravings whatsoever up to that point.

The plan blew up in my face. At first I thought I was doing good. I made it about 2 1/2 weeks before I experienced the first real craving. I wasn't prepared for it, and I gave in. No big deal, I thought.

It was all downhill from there. The cravings became more and more frequent. Since then I haven't been able to go more than a week without binging. Usually it's much less than that. On average it's probably about 3 times per week. Occasionally I'll go at it for 2 or 3 days straight.

At this point the cravings are pretty much constant. The only way I can hold off is through sheer willpower. I'm completely addicted to sugar. One funny thing is that I still have no cravings for savory foods. Just sweets and baked goods. When I hit a wall with the sugar rush I switch to things like bread and plain crackers.

So far I've only gained about 10 lbs, and I've kept up my regular training regimen. But this has only been going on a few months; I know I'm destined for obesity if this keeps up. And even if I can manage to keep my weight under control, my quality of life is abysmal. I think about food 24/7. It's terrible. I really don't know what to do.

I haven't told anyone yet. I know I probably should, but I keep thinking I can get this under control by myself. Maybe I can, but I sure haven't figured it out yet...

Thanks to anyone who read this whole thing, and good luck to everyone else in this thread.

[HipsterPat]

Hi everyone, this is my first post on these forums, although I've lurked for a while. It's been enlightening reading some of the posts on this thread, many of which are very similar to my situation. I thought I would add my two cents.

I'll start with some background and brief history about myself. I'm 23 years old, 5'11". My primary fitness focus is distance running and cycling, with some mild core/weight routines thrown in a few times a week.

Before March of this year, I never really paid much attention to my eating habits. In general I tried to eat what I thought was healthy most of the time (although I had never read up on the subject and didn't really know what was healthy and what wasn't). I had a few bad habits but nothing too extreme.

Senior year of college (2009-10) I quit exercising and went from 140 to 170 lbs in about 9 months. At that point I came to my senses and started up training again, although progress was slow. I was able to lose most of the weight I had gained, but seemed to hit a plateau around 150 lbs.

In March 2012 I was prescribed Wellbutrin for depression. I had taken Prozac before but it didn't have much of an effect and I was looking to try something different, as it was becoming difficult to handle the stresses of my job while also going through periodic spells of depression.

The medication made me feel extremely energized and motivated to change my life for the better. I read up a bunch on fitness and nutrition and devised a focused training/diet plan. I was feeling great, and as the weeks went by and I made progress my motivation just kept getting stronger. I had no cravings for junk food of any kind during this period. I was so in the zone that the thought of indulging in that stuff seemed silly to me. Why would I ruin all my progress just for a brief sensation of pleasure? My body felt great, and I knew that junk food would make me feel like crap. It was a no-brainer. Within 2 months I was in the best shape of my life. I had a six-pack for the first time ever, and I weighed 135 lbs.

On June 23rd I took the GRE test and did very well. It was a big relief because I had studied hard and had been stressing out about it. On a whim I decided it would be nice to reward myself with a one-time-only all-out ice cream binge. What harm could it possibly do? I had been kicking ass in all areas of life and I thought I deserved a reward. I went to Dairy Queen and got a large Oreo Brownie Blizzard. I took it home, smoked the last of my marijuana that I had been saving for over a month, and went to town.

Besides sex, that was the single most sensually gratifying experience of my life. I couldn't believe how good it tasted. It was heaven on earth. I felt a little sick the next morning, but I went for a 70 mile bike ride and was back to normal. I felt like I had hacked the universe. How could such an incredibly pleasurable experience have absolutely no consequences whatsoever? I set a plan for myself: one cheat meal per month. I thought it would be easy. I had had no cravings whatsoever up to that point.

The plan blew up in my face. At first I thought I was doing good. I made it about 2 1/2 weeks before I experienced the first real craving. I wasn't prepared for it, and I gave in. No big deal, I thought.

It was all downhill from there. The cravings became more and more frequent. Since then I haven't been able to go more than a week without binging. Usually it's much less than that. On average it's probably about 3 times per week. Occasionally I'll go at it for 2 or 3 days straight.

At this point the cravings are pretty much constant. The only way I can hold off is through sheer willpower. I'm completely addicted to sugar. One funny thing is that I still have no cravings for savory foods. Just sweets and baked goods. When I hit a wall with the sugar rush I switch to things like bread and plain crackers.

So far I've only gained about 10 lbs, and I've kept up my regular training regimen. But this has only been going on a few months; I know I'm destined for obesity if this keeps up. And even if I can manage to keep my weight under control, my quality of life is abysmal. I think about food 24/7. It's terrible. I really don't know what to do.

I haven't told anyone yet. I know I probably should, but I keep thinking I can get this under control by myself. Maybe I can, but I sure haven't figured it out yet...

Thanks to anyone who read this whole thing, and good luck to everyone else in this thread.

I know where you're coming from. I snapped once, when I lost the state championship lacrosse game, and food comforted me, and I gained almost 30 pounds in a month bingeing and stuff. The thing is, junk food bingeing and such is an addiction, and an addiction is a disease both of the body and mind. The human body's pleasure receptors and chemicals (dopamine, norepinepherine, serotonin, etc.) are all released when you consume fatty and sugary foods. Fatty and sugary food react in the same addictive way that ******* or ecstasy or alcohol does. You are in the throes of an addiction, and it's good that it hasn't gotten that bad yet. You need to quit your addiction cold turkey. There's really no other way. You may fail while trying to quit, but aim for progress and not perfection. If you slip up and binge, realize that it's not a big deal and forget about it. Fill the donut hole in your soul that wants you to fill it with sweets with something else, biking, reading, a new social activity, counseling, just something. Make an effort, avoid situations that would make you binge and get rid of any junk foods that you can.

I'll be honest with you, I recently lost about 30 pounds just by stopping the bingeing on sweets and my favorite treat was peanut butter. But, today, was the first day I really slipped up. Today, emotionally, was the hardest day I have experienced for months. It was the first bad binge in about three months. I couldn't cope, and I thought eating would help. I ate a giant salad with lots of dressing, a giant protein bar, and 2 plates of sushi...just for lunch and for about 2,500 cal altogether. For the day, I still didn't exceed my daily caloric limit, and thus probably gained maybe an ounce of fat, if any. I am just going to go right back on my diet and exercise routine, and just be a day farther away from my 6-pack. What I will say, is that the dressing, protein bar, and sushi rice were the worst things I ate. Having abstained from sweets, all but 1 time in the last 3 months, I had no intention of eating sweets. The addiction is gone, cured, vanished! I wanted to sate my horrible feelings, I was actually crying, but I knew that sweets would make me feel bad and they only taste good for a minute. The addiction is cured, but only because I worked at it. Just keep it up and be happy that you didn't gain more weight, like I did...

[determined4000]

Hi everyone, this is my first post on these forums,

Short term: Remove your binge foods from the house
change the setting (you can't binge if you arent in a restaurant, the house alone, surrounded by others)

long term: you are binging for emotional reasons(like the poster above said) and you need to figure out why you use food for comfort or restrict your eating (later causing binges) and use food as control

[yragrag]

Hi everyone, this is my first post on these forums, although I've lurked for a while. It's been enlightening reading some of the posts on this thread, many of which are very similar to my situation. I thought I would add my two cents.

I'll start with some background and brief history about myself. I'm 23 years old, 5'11". My primary fitness focus is distance running and cycling, with some mild core/weight routines thrown in a few times a week.

Before March of this year, I never really paid much attention to my eating habits. In general I tried to eat what I thought was healthy most of the time (although I had never read up on the subject and didn't really know what was healthy and what wasn't). I had a few bad habits but nothing too extreme.

Senior year of college (2009-10) I quit exercising and went from 140 to 170 lbs in about 9 months. At that point I came to my senses and started up training again, although progress was slow. I was able to lose most of the weight I had gained, but seemed to hit a plateau around 150 lbs.

In March 2012 I was prescribed Wellbutrin for depression. I had taken Prozac before but it didn't have much of an effect and I was looking to try something different, as it was becoming difficult to handle the stresses of my job while also going through periodic spells of depression.

The medication made me feel extremely energized and motivated to change my life for the better. I read up a bunch on fitness and nutrition and devised a focused training/diet plan. I was feeling great, and as the weeks went by and I made progress my motivation just kept getting stronger. I had no cravings for junk food of any kind during this period. I was so in the zone that the thought of indulging in that stuff seemed silly to me. Why would I ruin all my progress just for a brief sensation of pleasure? My body felt great, and I knew that junk food would make me feel like crap. It was a no-brainer. Within 2 months I was in the best shape of my life. I had a six-pack for the first time ever, and I weighed 135 lbs.

On June 23rd I took the GRE test and did very well. It was a big relief because I had studied hard and had been stressing out about it. On a whim I decided it would be nice to reward myself with a one-time-only all-out ice cream binge. What harm could it possibly do? I had been kicking ass in all areas of life and I thought I deserved a reward. I went to Dairy Queen and got a large Oreo Brownie Blizzard. I took it home, smoked the last of my marijuana that I had been saving for over a month, and went to town.

Besides sex, that was the single most sensually gratifying experience of my life. I couldn't believe how good it tasted. It was heaven on earth. I felt a little sick the next morning, but I went for a 70 mile bike ride and was back to normal. I felt like I had hacked the universe. How could such an incredibly pleasurable experience have absolutely no consequences whatsoever? I set a plan for myself: one cheat meal per month. I thought it would be easy. I had had no cravings whatsoever up to that point.

The plan blew up in my face. At first I thought I was doing good. I made it about 2 1/2 weeks before I experienced the first real craving. I wasn't prepared for it, and I gave in. No big deal, I thought.

It was all downhill from there. The cravings became more and more frequent. Since then I haven't been able to go more than a week without binging. Usually it's much less than that. On average it's probably about 3 times per week. Occasionally I'll go at it for 2 or 3 days straight.

At this point the cravings are pretty much constant. The only way I can hold off is through sheer willpower. I'm completely addicted to sugar. One funny thing is that I still have no cravings for savory foods. Just sweets and baked goods. When I hit a wall with the sugar rush I switch to things like bread and plain crackers.

So far I've only gained about 10 lbs, and I've kept up my regular training regimen. But this has only been going on a few months; I know I'm destined for obesity if this keeps up. And even if I can manage to keep my weight under control, my quality of life is abysmal. I think about food 24/7. It's terrible. I really don't know what to do.

I haven't told anyone yet. I know I probably should, but I keep thinking I can get this under control by myself. Maybe I can, but I sure haven't figured it out yet...

Thanks to anyone who read this whole thing, and good luck to everyone else in this thread.

I am in very SIMILAR situation as you! Just that I am in the very EARLY stages of my impeding binge-eating disorder. I have currently gained around 4 -5 lbs after reaching my 'ideal' weight. Thanks for sharing your story. It gives me motivation to control my situation!

[tom626]

Thanks for the encouragement, guys. It's nice to have the support, especially when none of my friends or family members know what's going on. It definitely helps to read other peoples' stories. Some of the similarities between my case and others are remarkable, like having the problem start soon after beginning a new medication.

I have been working to identify the emotional reasons behind my binges, as well as some of the triggers that tend to set me off. Weekends are my biggest temptation time. I get out of work on Friday and I want to unwind from the stresses of the week. If I have no social plans and I find myself sitting at home on a Friday or Saturday night, it's almost a guaranteed binge. My social life in general has taken a bit of a downturn in recent months as well, which may be part of the problem.

I've gotten rid of most of the junk food in my house, but it hasn't helped much. Instead I just end up driving around, stopping at a Dunkin Donuts here, a 7-11 there, etc. Anyway, it's impossible to completely escape temptation. I've especially come to dread grocery shopping, they always have a huge display of baked goods right when you walk in.

I've also tried avoiding meal restriction. It helps somewhat, but it seems to only delay the inevitable. It can be tricky, because sometimes I can stick to my healthy diet for a few days with no problems, and I think I'm doing great...then I let my guard down, and as soon as the first craving comes it's all over. I may want to explore this tactic further, i.e. trying some new recipes.

Does anyone have any advice regarding professional therapy? How do you go about finding a therapist, and how much do the sessions typically cost?

[HipsterPat]

Thanks for the encouragement, guys. It's nice to have the support, especially when none of my friends or family members know what's going on. It definitely helps to read other peoples' stories. Some of the similarities between my case and others are remarkable, like having the problem start soon after beginning a new medication.

I have been working to identify the emotional reasons behind my binges, as well as some of the triggers that tend to set me off. Weekends are my biggest temptation time. I get out of work on Friday and I want to unwind from the stresses of the week. If I have no social plans and I find myself sitting at home on a Friday or Saturday night, it's almost a guaranteed binge. My social life in general has taken a bit of a downturn in recent months as well, which may be part of the problem.

I've gotten rid of most of the junk food in my house, but it hasn't helped much. Instead I just end up driving around, stopping at a Dunkin Donuts here, a 7-11 there, etc. Anyway, it's impossible to completely escape temptation. I've especially come to dread grocery shopping, they always have a huge display of baked goods right when you walk in.

I've also tried avoiding meal restriction. It helps somewhat, but it seems to only delay the inevitable. It can be tricky, because sometimes I can stick to my healthy diet for a few days with no problems, and I think I'm doing great...then I let my guard down, and as soon as the first craving comes it's all over. I may want to explore this tactic further, i.e. trying some new recipes.

Does anyone have any advice regarding professional therapy? How do you go about finding a therapist, and how much do the sessions typically cost?

From experience, the best thing to help you is a lifestyle change. You need to get your mind and body away from food. I suggest going to Overeaters Anonymous meetings or something. Your life is not going the way it should, so that's why you are overeating as a coping mechanism. Try to join a social group, like a sports team or club or a reading club or a part-time job, you need a network of people for support to help. It sounds like you feel trapped, alone, and hopeless. You need to break this cycle but you cannot do it alone. Therapists can only give you advice, they can't make you change. It sounds like your job is tough and you have few friends, you need to make the effort and change that, yes it may be scary to do so.

Look online for therapists in your network that support your insurance. They are not very expensive with insurance. Without it, I'd say they are around $150 a session, but there are counselors that exist that provide care whose cost differs on your income, called sliding scale therapists. Ask your therapist about group therapy, which may be helpful, too. Most hospitals have therapists and group therapy on site or nearby where they can refer you. Talk to your HR guy at your work, too. I hope this helps.

[ErikTheElectric]

Thanks for the encouragement, guys. It's nice to have the support, especially when none of my friends or family members know what's going on. It definitely helps to read other peoples' stories. Some of the similarities between my case and others are remarkable, like having the problem start soon after beginning a new medication.

I have been working to identify the emotional reasons behind my binges, as well as some of the triggers that tend to set me off. Weekends are my biggest temptation time. I get out of work on Friday and I want to unwind from the stresses of the week. If I have no social plans and I find myself sitting at home on a Friday or Saturday night, it's almost a guaranteed binge. My social life in general has taken a bit of a downturn in recent months as well, which may be part of the problem.

I've gotten rid of most of the junk food in my house, but it hasn't helped much. Instead I just end up driving around, stopping at a Dunkin Donuts here, a 7-11 there, etc. Anyway, it's impossible to completely escape temptation. I've especially come to dread grocery shopping, they always have a huge display of baked goods right when you walk in.

I've also tried avoiding meal restriction. It helps somewhat, but it seems to only delay the inevitable. It can be tricky, because sometimes I can stick to my healthy diet for a few days with no problems, and I think I'm doing great...then I let my guard down, and as soon as the first craving comes it's all over. I may want to explore this tactic further, i.e. trying some new recipes.

Does anyone have any advice regarding professional therapy? How do you go about finding a therapist, and how much do the sessions typically cost?

Have you thought about talking to your friends and family members and letting the know what's going on? I'll admit I haven't read your entire story. But the fact of the matter is, it is going to be genuinely better for you to have at least one person that's close to you that knows of your struggles.

You bring up "binging" so, I'm assuming that you have an over-eating problem in a sense. Good job for identifying one of the reasons behind the binges, or a possible one. The Social Life aspect. Perhaps try improving this and try distracting yourself/surrounding yourself with your closest friends when you feel the need to being. For example: Instead of staying in on a friday night and binging, try calling a friend. Go out and have a good time.

Secondly: You refer to food as "Junk Food". I would challenge you and suggest that you change your mindset around food first. Food shouldn't be thought of as Junk food or Bad in any way. This is the reason that most people get caught up in Eating Disorders in the first place.. because they mentally distinguish and force theselves to believe that "one food is good, and one food is bad or "dirty" to eat." Which leads to restricting foods, and self deprivation.

Thirdly: You mention the word "healthy diet". Which I would also encourage you to abandon as well, not the concept or idea of having a lifestyle where you make the obvious "better choice" when it comes to nutrition and properly nourishing your body, mind, and soul. But when you look at everything in your life regarding exercice/diet/living and label it as this ^^. The word "healthy" can mean tons of different things..
Think about it like this..
If what you were doing. day in and day out... (binging, eating disorder activities) was "healthy" do you think you would be where your at today? (Obsessed with food, and entangled with an eating disorder)?

Just something to think about.


BTW: Try checking out this website and calling around various therapists in your area that offer support for eating disorders..
http://www.something-fishy.org/

[HipsterPat]

Have you thought about talking to your friends and family members and letting the know what's going on? I'll admit I haven't read your entire story. But the fact of the matter is, it is going to be genuinely better for you to have at least one person that's close to you that knows of your struggles.

You bring up "binging" so, I'm assuming that you have an over-eating problem in a sense. Good job for identifying one of the reasons behind the binges, or a possible one. The Social Life aspect. Perhaps try improving this and try distracting yourself/surrounding yourself with your closest friends when you feel the need to being. For example: Instead of staying in on a friday night and binging, try calling a friend. Go out and have a good time.

Secondly: You refer to food as "Junk Food". I would challenge you and suggest that you change your mindset around food first. Food shouldn't be thought of as Junk food or Bad in any way. This is the reason that most people get caught up in Eating Disorders in the first place.. because they mentally distinguish and force theselves to believe that "one food is good, and one food is bad or "dirty" to eat." Which leads to restricting foods, and self deprivation.

Thirdly: You mention the word "healthy diet". Which I would also encourage you to abandon as well, not the concept or idea of having a lifestyle where you make the obvious "better choice" when it comes to nutrition and properly nourishing your body, mind, and soul. But when you look at everything in your life regarding exercice/diet/living and label it as this ^^. The word "healthy" can mean tons of different things..
Think about it like this..
If what you were doing. day in and day out... (binging, eating disorder activities) was "healthy" do you think you would be where your at today? (Obsessed with food, and entangled with an eating disorder)?

Just something to think about.


BTW: Try checking out this website and calling around various therapists in your area that offer support for eating disorders..
http://www.something-fishy.org/

Just a few things I disagree with... Junk food does exist and it makes people fat... Also, a diet can be healthy... A diet of nothing but junk food is not healthy even if you stay at a caloric neutrality... Junk food is food that does not "fuel the body nor mind.." Junk food, like anything, may be enjoyed IN MODERATION, not in excess. However, binge eaters have a problem with junk food, an addiction. Food for binge eaters is just like alcohol or drugs to addicts/alcoholics. They have problems that prevent them from enjoying things in moderation. Therefore, junk food should be eliminated and the binge eater should realize that he cannot consume junk food in moderation. Healthy living does exist, it's hitting your micros and macros. Dude Overeaters anonymous should be considered if you want help for your eating problem. The eating is but a symptom of a disease that you need help with. You may never be able to enjoy junk food in moderation again, and that is okay. I can't drink or eat junk food as I used to have problems with both. I've learned that I cannot drink or eat junk food in moderation..

[Shoot4hoops]

Rather than trying to understand the reasons behind their intentions and their reasoning for treating you the way that they did. Stop looking into the past, and using it to perpetuate and elevate your fears about weight gain or seeking help with your eating disorder. You can disagree with me in what I just stated, but you're posting on an internet forum where we all have the freedom to offer our insights/advice.. and that's the way I see it.
I still believe that you need therapy, and that you need to develop a more positive mindset about yourself. (Think about it: If you were healthy MENTALLY you wouldn't be giving THIS MUCH THOUGHT about "deficits", "Healthy weight categories", "etc". You would simply just wake up and live life the way YOU See fit.. like NORMAL people do)

As for your relationship problems: I don't feel like this is the proper place to discuss that, perhaps talk with your therapist/family/friends about it. Just my 0.02$

Yes I just had a long talk with my former therapist who is on medical leave, and she gave me a referral.

For the relationship problems when I talk to friends and family, they don't know how to help me. On here most of the guys are in the same age range as the ones I date who play games, so I get some advice on how to handle these guys. Former therapist was 70+ and helped, and now I can ask the new one.

[ErikTheElectric]

Just a few things I disagree with... Junk food does exist and it makes people fat... Also, a diet can be healthy... A diet of nothing but junk food is not healthy even if you stay at a caloric neutrality... Junk food is food that does not "fuel the body nor mind.." Junk food, like anything, may be enjoyed IN MODERATION, not in excess. However, binge eaters have a problem with junk food, an addiction. Food for binge eaters is just like alcohol or drugs to addicts/alcoholics. They have problems that prevent them from enjoying things in moderation. Therefore, junk food should be eliminated and the binge eater should realize that he cannot consume junk food in moderation. Healthy living does exist, it's hitting your micros and macros. Dude Overeaters anonymous should be considered if you want help for your eating problem. The eating is but a symptom of a disease that you need help with. You may never be able to enjoy junk food in moderation again, and that is okay. I can't drink or eat junk food as I used to have problems with both. I've learned that I cannot drink or eat junk food in moderation..

1. The word "junk food" is a term that is all up to the individual that LABELS that food as such in their own minds. In THIS case. Someone with an Eating Disorder, shouldn't be classifying foods "junk", "Healthy", "Not healthy", or anything else similar. The key word that should be thought of here is moderation. Like you say. In this case, the OP is a binge eater. Therefore, the solution or ONE of the solutions would be to simply remove the food/foods from the house and start replacing them with food/foods that are more satiating and provide greater nutritional benefit. By completely RESTRICTING the binge eater from the foods that they binge on, and never allowing them to eat them. I doubt first hand that they would ever develop a positive relationship/mindset with food ever again. By actively recovering, the binge eater would have to be able to obviously have a few and be DONE with it. Ever heard of the marshmallow test? I simply dis-agree with you and the way you "label" food. Part of the main reason I fell into my eating disorder was because I thought of food this way and developed orthorexia. Not the way to go.

2. "Junk food" does not make people "fat". And I think that's a rather blatant and generalized/opinionated statement that really shouldn't be being said in this thread.
Inactivity, caloric surpluses, and the overall lifestyle of an individual are to determine what they look like on the outside. NOT A CERTAIN FOOD, LIKE A BROWNIE!

Overall, I guess we share two VERY different opinions on the matter.

Yes I just had a long talk with my former therapist who is on medical leave, and she gave me a referral.

For the relationship problems when I talk to friends and family, they don't know how to help me. On here most of the guys are in the same age range as the ones I date who play games, so I get some advice on how to handle these guys. Former therapist was 70+ and helped, and now I can ask the new one.

Good luck with the new therapist.

[determined4000]

2. "Junk food" does not make people "fat".

truth
too much junk food does

Overall, I guess we share two VERY different opinions on the matter.

yes you guys do.
I agree that lableing can lead to disordered thoughts but I also agree that there is a line between what can be considred healthy and unhealthy,
However my definition of eating healthy involved eating what some would consider unhaealthy food choices (wait wut?)
If you are too restrictive with your diet than that is unhealthy. Thinking if you eat a cookie you will be unhealthy, is not healthy. Understanding you can eat an 1 food is healthy.
Can/should you eat unlimited amounts of it. No of course not. Finding the balance is the difficult but healthy solution.

I think Hipster has the opinion he does because he admits that he cant eat certain foods without binging. If he knows this, than good for him and he shouldnt eat those foods. Restricting yourself from eating a food solely becuase of the perceived "health" would be a problem (as erik pointed out).

[fat2fit21]

In, still struggling with binge eating... I have an unhealthy relationship with food. Ill go into more detail later.

[tom626]

1. The word "junk food" is a term that is all up to the individual that LABELS that food as such in their own minds. In THIS case. Someone with an Eating Disorder, shouldn't be classifying foods "junk", "Healthy", "Not healthy", or anything else similar. The key word that should be thought of here is moderation. Like you say. In this case, the OP is a binge eater. Therefore, the solution or ONE of the solutions would be to simply remove the food/foods from the house and start replacing them with food/foods that are more satiating and provide greater nutritional benefit. By completely RESTRICTING the binge eater from the foods that they binge on, and never allowing them to eat them. I doubt first hand that they would ever develop a positive relationship/mindset with food ever again. By actively recovering, the binge eater would have to be able to obviously have a few and be DONE with it. Ever heard of the marshmallow test? I simply dis-agree with you and the way you "label" food. Part of the main reason I fell into my eating disorder was because I thought of food this way and developed orthorexia. Not the way to go.

2. "Junk food" does not make people "fat". And I think that's a rather blatant and generalized/opinionated statement that really shouldn't be being said in this thread.
Inactivity, caloric surpluses, and the overall lifestyle of an individual are to determine what they look like on the outside. NOT A CERTAIN FOOD, LIKE A BROWNIE!

Overall, I guess we share two VERY different opinions on the matter.

Good luck with the new therapist.

I get what you're saying, how it's not good to be fixated on labels like "junk food" and "healthy". I think this is a worthwhile approach, however I think I'm with HipsterPat in that there are certain foods that I simply cannot enjoy in moderation. Yes, sometimes I have the willpower to force myself to only eat a small portion of the food in question, but any enjoyment I would get is ruined by the overwhelming urge to eat more. So it kind of defeats the purpose; it would have been better to abstain completely. Maybe eventually I can learn to enjoy these foods in moderation, but I think for now my focus needs to be on complete abstinence. I have to get used to living without these foods before I start to think about re-introducing them into my diet.

One thing I have found is that the urge to binge tends to be strongest the first ~48 hours after a previous binge. After that it seems to get a little easier, although I have yet to make it more than a week since this problem started so I have no way of knowing if the second or third week is easier than the first. On the rare occasions that I have made it 6 or 7 days without binging, it's always the same thing that sets me off again: attempting to eat a small portion of one of the problem foods. So I think cold turkey is the way to go...as the days without binging accumulate, hopefully the motivation will continue to get stronger as the cravings slowly get weaker.

[ErikTheElectric]

I get what you're saying, how it's not good to be fixated on labels like "junk food" and "healthy". I think this is a worthwhile approach, however I think I'm with HipsterPat in that there are certain foods that I simply cannot enjoy in moderation. Yes, sometimes I have the willpower to force myself to only eat a small portion of the food in question, but any enjoyment I would get is ruined by the overwhelming urge to eat more. So it kind of defeats the purpose; it would have been better to abstain completely. Maybe eventually I can learn to enjoy these foods in moderation, but I think for now my focus needs to be on complete abstinence. I have to get used to living without these foods before I start to think about re-introducing them into my diet.

One thing I have found is that the urge to binge tends to be strongest the first ~48 hours after a previous binge. After that it seems to get a little easier, although I have yet to make it more than a week since this problem started so I have no way of knowing if the second or third week is easier than the first. On the rare occasions that I have made it 6 or 7 days without binging, it's always the same thing that sets me off again: attempting to eat a small portion of one of the problem foods. So I think cold turkey is the way to go...as the days without binging accumulate, hopefully the motivation will continue to get stronger as the cravings slowly get weaker.

Then by all means, do what you need to do. Whether that be completely restricting yourself from these foods and not keeping them in the house (which I actually suggest in the initial phases of recovery from binge eating) or allowing yourself to have them occasionally. In the end, it's your recovery process and it's all up to YOU to determine how you beat this disorder.

I wish you the best of luck.

[Ramses78]

Hey all. Things aren't going so well at the moment, although not restricting or bulimia I've gone wayyy past binges and started actively self-harming....getting stuck on antidepressants next week while continuing therapy. Damn, I did not realise my fear of being alive and in control ran THIS deep. I'm getting scared because now I'm truly becoming someone I'm not and this could have devaststaing consequences.
Not really expecting any advice, this is one for the psych.
Stay safe, focused, live long and prosper.

[ErikTheElectric]

Hey all. Things aren't going so well at the moment, although not restricting or bulimia I've gone wayyy past binges and started actively self-harming....getting stuck on antidepressants next week while continuing therapy. Damn, I did not realise my fear of being alive and in control ran THIS deep. I'm getting scared because now I'm truly becoming someone I'm not and this could have devaststaing consequences.
Not really expecting any advice, this is one for the psych.
Stay safe, focused, live long and prosper.

Then what are you expecting? If you're thinking of harming yourself, obviously posting on here is the last thing you should be doing. Please seek help.

[butchersof]

good luck everyone

[ErikTheElectric]

good luck everyone

Not to sound depressing or un hopeful.
But in this battle, there's no such thing as luck. Or in life general.

You have to try day in and day out in recovery. Only YOU can make the change.
Determination, perseverance, hope, and much more will be the things to beat this disorder. Not "luck".

Regardless, I respect the fact that you wish the best for everyone.

[Vendetta52]

Not to sound depressing or un hopeful.
But in this battle, there's no such thing as luck. Or in life general.

You have to try day in and day out in recovery. Only YOU can make the change.
Determination, perseverance, hope, and much more will be the things to beat this disorder. Not "luck".

Regardless, I respect the fact that you wish the best for everyone.

Erik, man, when are you going to reply to your own log? I read people's log every now and then, and it seems like everyone is genuinely concerned about you in yours yet you are blowing them off like Mike Wines does in his log. I'm not trying to be mean or anything, just wondering why you dispense advice to people in this thread that you yourself could apply to your own life and see good results if you do so.

[ErikTheElectric]

For anyone interested in reading about another individuals life, thoughts, and insight. I'm running a blog, and wrote up a post a few days ago.
"Doing What Feels Good"
http://eriksfoodreviews.blogspot.com...eels-good.html

Erik, man, when are you going to reply to your own log? I read people's log every now and then, and it seems like everyone is genuinely concerned about you in yours yet you are blowing them off like Mike Wines does in his log. I'm not trying to be mean or anything, just wondering why you dispense advice to people in this thread that you yourself could apply to your own life and see good results if you do so.

If you're going to directly address me, and ask these questions. It should be in private. This isn't the place to make a "call out", because in the end it turns into needless bickering back and forth and nothing gets solved.

I'll go off and state that you make some pretty bold assertions when you state that I "blow people off", and compare me to Mike Wines. The last time I checked I don't have an "obligation" to log on here. I blog, I make videos, almost too much. In the end if you cared how I was doing or cared about my health and well being you would do as a few others have done and Send me a Private Message.

And in response to your other assertion that I "disperse advice that I could apply to my life". I do apply it, and I amseeing the "good results" that you speak of. However, I admit that some of the advice that I give to others in various threads/in this one/etc could be applied to my own life, and I lack the current drive to do them. However I don't believe in letting individuals continue to suffer, especially the ones with Eating Disorders and potential Eating Disorders. So, anytime that I get the chance to help someone.. I take that chance.

Thanks.

[killthelights22]

Hey, not sure about posting this but still...Bulimic of 3 years checking in.
Not sure where to start...long story short, from ages of 11-15 I had an obsession with losing weight. Lowest was about 98Ibs January last year I think, when I was hospitalised due to diabetic complications. This kind of crosses paths with when I picked up bulimia at around 13 to 15, where I went through phases of excessive purging (3/4 times a week) for alternating week intervals.
Had help with it since, obviously now I'm a much healthier weight, however I still find it fairly easy to be triggered - my body fat percentage is a huge issue to me and I feel very conscious about it. Would have been at least 3 months free of purging round abouts if it hadn't been for today, some friends of mine were making a few comments and it just set me off, I feel like I am surrounded by very slender people and I do find that intimidating/pressurising. It feels like I'm in a constant battle to be healthy and skinny again, because I'm doing a lot of good but also a lot of bad I guess too.
Regardless of how rare it is for me to stumble back into my old habits it does happen, especially when I'm having a 'fat day' or when I'm on a cut. Obviously I feel stronger, just having a weak moment tonight, a lot of self doubt. Sorry for ranting.

[ErikTheElectric]

Hey, not sure about posting this but still...Bulimic of 3 years checking in.
Not sure where to start...long story short, from ages of 11-15 I had an obsession with losing weight. Lowest was about 98Ibs January last year I think, when I was hospitalised due to diabetic complications. This kind of crosses paths with when I picked up bulimia at around 13 to 15, where I went through phases of excessive purging (3/4 times a week) for alternating week intervals.
Had help with it since, obviously now I'm a much healthier weight, however I still find it fairly easy to be triggered - my body fat percentage is a huge issue to me and I feel very conscious about it. Would have been at least 3 months free of purging round abouts if it hadn't been for today, some friends of mine were making a few comments and it just set me off, I feel like I am surrounded by very slender people and I do find that intimidating/pressurising. It feels like I'm in a constant battle to be healthy and skinny again, because I'm doing a lot of good but also a lot of bad I guess too.
Regardless of how rare it is for me to stumble back into my old habits it does happen, especially when I'm having a 'fat day' or when I'm on a cut. Obviously I feel stronger, just having a weak moment tonight, a lot of self doubt. Sorry for ranting.

Not sure how old you are, or what your current "Recovery plan" is. But have you talked to your parents about this? Do They know?
Bulimia is something that is (as I'm sure you're aware) not what you want to be battling at this stage of your life (I'm assuming you're young).
- You can rupture your eso****us, and have to eat through a feeding tube. (Doesn't sound to fun)
- Your heart can fail.
- Think about it, you're body is doing the "opposite" of what it's designed to do when you eat. Take in, and digest food, and give you ENERGY.
When you're doing the opposite.. That being "force" it to send it back up, it goes against the bodies natural way of functioning. Obviously, you're not going to be able to do this long term
without a HUGE amount of health complications from it.
- Low Potassium/Low Sodium/Low Electrolyte Levels.. Basically, you have none of these in your body because you purge.
- Rotting Teeth/Tooth Decay from your stomach acid from purging..

There's so many more things I could say, but just ask yourself if you really want to be like this.. for your life. Is it really worth the BF%? The comments from your friends? etc.

My PM Box is always open. Have a good day and good luck in your recovery.

[emilyhealy]

Hi all,

I am wondering if anyone has some insight or advice for me. I guess I'll start with a little bit about me... In the past I have have been anorexic. I was never tiny throughout high school and I'd always wanted to be thin, so at 19 I joined a gym and started cutting out breads and pastas and in two weeks I'd lost 12lbs from moderate exercise. I was immediately hooked and so in 6 months had lost 25 lbs bringing me down to about 150. That is when I started to really focus on diet and exercise and it had got away from me and in about 2.5 months I'd dropped down to 120 and lower and lower. This was a very unhealthy time in my life, starving myself and literally not eating for weeks at a time, and thinking I was healthy because I worked out once or twice a day.

This charade went on for about 2 years until one day my sister shook me and I knew I had to change. I continued my regular gym routine but as soon as I let myself eat anything, my body hoarded it and I began to gain weight like crazy. I had gained back all of my weight (even the hard 6 months of healthy diet and exercise) in a matter of a year. This depressed me and I was embarrassed to even go to the gym, but I decided there was no excuse. About two years ago I started back at the gym, but really didn't start working out regularly until about a year ago.

Looking over the past year, I can see a lot of changes in my body as I've been lifting weights, (others have noticed so I'm not crazY!) however my weight won't move. I eat all organically. I am not a sweets person, but can occasionally snack on chips. I don't think that I have overly large portions and I have been tracking my calories burnt at the gym with a heart rate monitor and the calories I'm intaking for about 3 weeks, but still I have yet to see a change. I have currently got laid off so am on unemployment and feel like this is an amazing opportunity to change my body for the better and be the FIT person that I want to be, but I can't seem to lose this unwanted weight.

Currently my days consist of:

Mornings: 2 free-run eggs with a little bit of Daiya cheese and some sauteed spinach in extra virgin olive oil.

Lunches: homemade soup from a local health-food store or quinoa salad

dinner: above (i eat there a lot) or a chicken meal with rice and veggies

Snacks: Lara Bar after workouts, have been trying to incorporate some organic long grain brwon rice before workouts.


This isn't a lot of calories I know, so maybe some would say I am undereating, but I DO also overeat.... so really there is no b alance

I guess I'm just wondering if anyone has any advice. I am scared of returning to the life I had before, I want to be healthy and fit, not skinny and sick. I guess if anyone has been through the tough road after an eating disorder, any help would be appreciated.