Eating Disorder Support Group

[MarkVI]

Thanks I'm trying to find some way so that people recognize I'm a girl, but without revealing my identity.. nail polish and lip gloss should be a good giveaway.

Hmm..I became vegetarian when I was 6, so it's been a pretty long time. I was and still am a huge animal lover, and I guess when I realized where meat came from, I couldn't stand to eat it any more. It's mostly psychological. I don't say this to people if they eat meat around me, but all I think is "Aww...that used to have a soul and heartbeat, and it happily frolicked in the fields with its family..." That and I don't see how we can love and play with our housepets so much, yet not give a second glance to chickens, cows, or whatever. They're all valuable to me.

Well I approve of the AVI -- it would be difficult not to tell you're a g-i-r-l.

As for the meat thing....you know God put them here to eat and they just taste so darned good

[Aeris]

As for the meat thing....you know God put them here to eat and they just taste so darned good

I know..but...look:



they're so cute with their big brown eyes

I really think it's been so long anyways, that if I tried to start eating meat, it would make me horribly sick. I can't even consume eggs or milk unless they're cooked into something (I'm okay with cheese and yogurt though).

Also, I'd hate to be responsible for more suffering than is necessary for me to live, even if it's okay by religious standards..there's most likely someone out there who eats more than their share of meat anyways.

[MarkVI]

I know..but...look:



they're so cute with their big brown eyes

I really think it's been so long anyways, that if I tried to start eating meat, it would make me horribly sick. I can't even consume eggs or milk unless they're cooked into something (I'm okay with cheese and yogurt though).

MMMM!!!! I'd love to see that on my plate

Personally - I think you'll be sicker without meat

I grew up on a farm...and I saw cows and other animals slaughtered and milked and treated like royalty honestly....They live good long lives and are usually slaughtered before their health starts to go downhill.

[Aeris]

MMMM!!!! I'd love to see that on my plate

Personally - I think you'll be sicker without meat

I grew up on a farm...and I saw cows and other animals slaughtered and milked and treated like royalty honestly....They live good long lives and are usually slaughtered before their health starts to go downhill.

Most commercial farms aren't that nice though..

I think I've been doing alright for the past twelve years. Although I probably wouldn't have ever had eating problems if I hadn't become vegetarian...my mom never knew what to feed me and always gave me tons of cheese, which made me gain more weight than necessary, and I ate most meals by myself because I usually had something completely different than what the rest of the family was eating. So I probably wouldn't have been a fat kid, and therefore wouldn't have gotten the bright idea to just stop eating when I was 14... other than that whole ordeal, my health has been great. Do you know something I don't?

[Xhale12]

Most commercial farms aren't that nice though..

I think I've been doing alright for the past twelve years. Although I probably wouldn't have ever had eating problems if I hadn't become vegetarian...my mom never knew what to feed me and always gave me tons of cheese, which made me gain more weight than necessary, and I ate most meals by myself because I usually had something completely different than what the rest of the family was eating. So I probably wouldn't have been a fat kid, and therefore wouldn't have gotten the bright idea to just stop eating when I was 14... other than that whole ordeal, my health has been great. Do you know something I don't?

I still question why people are vegetarians. Even if you dont agree with how their treated, it will continue regardless if you eat them or not. Also you are really missing out on all the benefits of eating meat and all their valuable enzymes. Would you ever consider incorporating it into your diet?

[Aeris]

I still question why people are vegetarians. Even if you dont agree with how their treated, it will continue regardless if you eat them or not. Also you are really missing out on all the benefits of eating meat and all their valuable enzymes. Would you ever consider incorporating it into your diet?

Right, but I'm not vegetarian because I don't agree with how they are treated. The idea of eating something that used to have a heartbeat and an interest in avoiding pain unsettles me. Even if it were put to sleep before being humanely slaughtered, I wouldn't want to eat it.

Sure it will continue regardless of what I eat, but I can honestly say that animals are not being slaughtered to end up on my plate. To me, not partaking in an action is better than continuing to do it and complaining or feeling guilty about it.

I honestly don't see me ever eating meat again.

[MarkVI]

Sure it will continue regardless of what I eat, but I can honestly say that animals are not being slaughtered to end up on my plate. .

I'm gonna go get a baby lamb for ya right now

[Aeris]

I'm gonna go get a baby lamb for ya right now

I shall raise it as one of my own..my cats could use a new friend (and yes they'll be hypocritical by eating lamb chunks in their kitty food).

[scoch]

It definitely depends on the individual..I think I'm like you. If I'm not measuring everything out exactly, I will purposely grossly underestimate the serving size. And also, this sort of carried over from when I had anorexia, but I always round the calories up to the next hundred before writing them down. Or, if I'm using FitDay, I'll do weird stuff like put 1.4 servings of something even if it was really one, just because I don't trust the numbers the companies give (and I'd rather be in a greater deficit than I realize).

To follow-up on the dinner I went to: it wasn't nearly as stressful as I was anticipating, and me being vegetarian wasn't that big of a deal. I think I've seen people eat enough that I can imitate acting normal.

thats part of the reason why iv asked for a "minimum" calorie intake number as well. (restriction side) makes things worse when you have uncontrollable hunger.

glad you enjoyed the dinner was worth it right?

[Xhale12]

I shall raise it as one of my own..my cats could use a new friend (and yes they'll be hypocritical by eating lamb chunks in their kitty food).

Lol wow man idk why but whenever i see like animals like that I just wanna kill them and eat them lol. Sorry if that may be disturbing to you aeris.

[Aeris]

thats part of the reason why iv asked for a "minimum" calorie intake number as well. (restriction side) makes things worse when you have uncontrollable hunger.

But when you've conditioned yourself to like feeling really hungry and empty, it seems like the more restrictive, the better. I'm really weird about this - if I wake up and I'm not hungry, I'll eventually eat when I can feel that my blood sugar is low. If I wake up and I'm absolutely starving however, I don't eat at all, since I still like feeling hungry.

glad you enjoyed the dinner was worth it right?

Definitely

I don't think I'd be ready to do it for every meal though. I'll get there.

Oh wow I've been online a lot tonight..

Lol wow man idk why but whenever i see like animals like that I just wanna kill them and eat them lol. Sorry if that may be disturbing to you aeris.

wtf...that's actually really funny, I could feel the weird expression on my face..but great, now I picture some guy walking up to cute baby animals and laughing evilly and then killing them...like Happy Tree Friends or something. Sorry for being too serious, but there is a line between being appreciative of the animals that die for your food, and wanting to kill them out of joy

[scoch]

Everyone here cares about you man come on now. You have to get through this. You have SO much reason to live. Just imagine how much better life will be once you get over your ED and are able to live NORMALLY. If you need any help with anything send me a PM and Ill be glad to help out. Keep pushing through

really appreciate the support man, just that things at home havent improved even though parents think im up to 142 lbs and with me acting "favorably". makes me realize life at home might not get better ever.

heh that coupled with depression/stress fractured back/parent's past makes imaging a better life tough, (yes pathetic)

I have a friend who is 110 lbs, about your height, who looks just like you that just got admitted into the hospital.

I suggest hitting up a buffet and just eating until it hurts. Try and eat a bunch until you get to a normal weight, and then eat like a normal person...

technically i should have been hospitalized a year ago, so iv been "under" for a while. been sub 120 lbs/around 120 lbs and under for a year or so now. (108-118 lbs now)

[Xhale12]

really appreciate the support man, just that things at home havent improved even though parents think im up to 142 lbs and with me acting "favorably". makes me realize life at home might not get better ever.

heh that coupled with depression/stress fractured back/parent's past makes imaging a better life tough, (yes pathetic)

technically i should have been hospitalized a year ago, so iv been "under" for a while. been sub 120 lbs/around 120 lbs and under for a year or so now. (108-118 lbs now)

Life will only get better if you want it too. Stay motivated and keep pushing through and you WILL find happiness.

wtf...that's actually really funny, I could feel the weird expression on my face..but great, now I picture some guy walking up to cute baby animals and laughing evilly and then killing them...like Happy Tree Friends or something.

Lol Im sorry i had to say it.

[stepup123]

Hey guys, sorry to "go in circles" again, especially after all the help youve given me.

But like Aeries, iv been having a lot of trouble finding a "reason to recover" or truly "wanting to recover". I know that if i dont gain weight fast ill either die or recover so slowly that ill be miserable, but it gets hard with things being so "difficult" right now.

What makes things worse is that i know that things will NEVER get any better than they are now at home/between my family. My parents think im 142 lbs, and iv recently put on a "happy/obedient" mask to protect myself from them. now that im once the "non-anger/frustration" showing kid again, my parents are really satisfied. But even so things still get "rough", now more mentally than physically. (though id much more prefer a daily "physical" attack than a mental one) its also killing me to put on a "mask" around them, feels like im stabbing myself in the stomach.

***its saddening because iv realized that things will still be just as bad as they are now at home even if i gain weight/get on good terms with them.

im not suicidal by any means, because i know its incredibly selfish and since my mother has raised me think its greedy and horrible given my "privelaged/loving" upbringing. but for a while now iv been having trouble finding a reason to live (Different from suicide)
depression/home life/broken back/no sports/etc might play a role, but i cant help feeling pathetically weak/guilty at thinking that way.

my parents went to New York yesterday, so i was home all alone the whole day. Before i was actually worried because being stuck at home all day=ED/Food hell, but strange enough i felt freer yesterday than i ever have. For the first time in over a year, i went on a walk where i wanst plagued by Food/depression-->i actually enjoyed the nice weather and simply walking alone with some music.
it almost felt as if being completely seperated from my parents eased the ED/depression in general.

Unfortunatly, when they got back, things got bad again. (and aparently my parents think ill buy drugs if i go on a night wak though iv NEVEr had drug/alcohol problems)

i really want to get into the "recovery" mindset, but when things get rough, feels impossible to change.

really wish i could stop eating clean too (part of "recovery" mindset" i guesse)

sorry for being so weak in this guys, i know im kind of disgustingly pathetic, just cant help it, heh, wish it was as siple as getting hit each day rather than mentally bashed from the parents, would make recovery a lot easier

i realized today that when i stand up i could feel each of my ribs (normal for thin people? or just for starving?) i wanted to think "you too thin, go eat at a buffet" but instead i just thought "you cant go to a buffet every day/more than once a day since you'd binge to hell each time", which sucks because thats just another way for me to delay recovery.

http://i195.photobucket.com/albums/z...3/pic001-1.jpg
http://i195.photobucket.com/albums/z...3/pic002-1.jpg

From your post it looks as though life at home is really tough for you right now, but your way too skinny. Im pretty sure you should not be able to feel all of your ribs.

[Environ]

really appreciate the support man, just that things at home havent improved even though parents think im up to 142 lbs and with me acting "favorably". makes me realize life at home might not get better ever.

How could your life get any worse? Of course recovery is the better option. You're already miserable.

It's time you stopped going round in circles. While I realise it's tough, you're using your parents and your family situation as an excuse not to recover.

Any half decent doctor will realise that you are not 142 lbs when they see you (at least they should). And, you've promised that you will not use additional weights for the weigh in (it's unhelpful and deceitful). So, there's a good chance you'll end up in hospital after your next weigh in.

[DeathCereal]

I have a serious question, I just really don't understand why people are being hospitalized for being underweight... Back before summer vacation I weighed a little less than 110lbs at 5'6 1/2 and I felt just fine. It didn't feel any different then when I was chubbier.
But I would go and hang out with friends and have fun and it never really bothered me.. On those occasions when they went out for pizza, I'd just eat at home , but I'd still go and talk and have fun.

I'm not trying to be mean or negative or anything like that , I just don't get it.

[Sixpack]

Why wouldn't you eat with them? And how old are you?

I have a serious question, I just really don't understand why people are being hospitalized for being underweight... Back before summer vacation I weighed a little less than 110lbs at 5'6 1/2 and I felt just fine. It didn't feel any different then when I was chubbier.
But I would go and hang out with friends and have fun and it never really bothered me.. On those occasions when they went out for pizza, I'd just eat at home , but I'd still go and talk and have fun.

I'm not trying to be mean or negative or anything like that , I just don't get it.

[soundcheck129]

I have a serious question, I just really don't understand why people are being hospitalized for being underweight... Back before summer vacation I weighed a little less than 110lbs at 5'6 1/2 and I felt just fine. It didn't feel any different then when I was chubbier.
But I would go and hang out with friends and have fun and it never really bothered me.. On those occasions when they went out for pizza, I'd just eat at home , but I'd still go and talk and have fun.

I'm not trying to be mean or negative or anything like that , I just don't get it.

Being underweight is a serious problem - you may feel fine, but your body is self-destructing, and you'll have to deal with the consequences of damaging your organs for the rest of your life. Avoiding eating situations with others is a definite sign that you have issues.

[DeathCereal]

Why wouldn't you eat with them? And how old are you?

I wouldn't eat with them because pizza isn't all too great for you and I was fine not eating pizza. It didn't depress me, and they didn't even notice.

[DeathCereal]

Being underweight is a serious problem - you may feel fine, but your body is self-destructing, and you'll have to deal with the consequences of damaging your organs for the rest of your life. Avoiding eating situations with others is a definite sign that you have issues.

I didn't "avoid" it, I just didn't eat the pizza?

[Aindreas]

And how old are you?

14

I didn't "avoid" it, I just didn't eat the pizza?

They're right. Eat the pizza.

[DeathCereal]

14



They're right. Eat the pizza.

This was several month ago.

[Aindreas]

This was several month ago.

The point is it wasn't a normal thing to do, and it wasn't a healthy thing to do. You avoided pizza to maintain/get down to your current unhealthy weight (or 110 at the time if you wanna be picky) because you thought the pizza would make you fat. You already know that, but coming to terms with it is the first thing you have to do.

[DeathCereal]

The point is it wasn't a normal thing to do, and it wasn't a healthy thing to do. You avoided pizza to maintain/get down to your current unhealthy weight (or 110 at the time if you wanna be picky) because you thought the pizza would make you fat. You already know that, but coming to terms with it is the first thing you have to do.

Well, I know it was really stupid to lose weight so fast and get to 110.

[Sixpack]

UR 14 and you are avoiding meals with friends etc, you are in for a long long road ahead of yourself if you don't change quick.

[Environ]

I have a serious question, I just really don't understand why people are being hospitalized for being underweight... Back before summer vacation I weighed a little less than 110lbs at 5'6 1/2 and I felt just fine. It didn't feel any different then when I was chubbier.
But I would go and hang out with friends and have fun and it never really bothered me.. On those occasions when they went out for pizza, I'd just eat at home , but I'd still go and talk and have fun.

I'm not trying to be mean or negative or anything like that , I just don't get it.

It's not just being underweight that is the problem. It's the other damage that is done to your body as a result of being VERY underweight. We will all survive (but, who wants to just survive? I want to 'live') slightly below our ideal body weight range, but when you're seriously underweight, it is a big problem. Furthermore, you're only 14, you're still underdeveloped, you're 5' 6'', so 110 isn't 'extremely' underweight for you. You could probably survive, for a short period at that weight. However, remaining at this weight at your age will be overall detrimental to your health as you will screw up the development of your hormones and you may also start to develop physical problems like osteoporosis (and having osteoporosis at 14 is bloody rediculous).

However, as you get older, 110 lbs starts to become severely underweight because you are more developed and are supposed to be heavier. This is when the problems start to get worse. On average, men's testosterone levels peak between 19 and 20. If you continue to remain underweight, yours won't be peaking at all.

I wouldn't eat with them because pizza isn't all too great for you and I was fine not eating pizza. It didn't depress me, and they didn't even notice.

I didn't get depressed when I refused to eat food either. I just accepted that I 'couldn't' eat the food. Later on, however, I changed. I hated being the way I was. And, I DID find that eating at home and then going out (the few times that I did go out) put my mind at ease with regard to the condition, but I ALWAYS felt left out or only partly involved with activities that my friends took part in (because I abstained from part of it).

Tell me, what is wrong with one slice of pizza? Is it going to kill you? Will it make you fat?

Well, I know it was really stupid to lose weight so fast and get to 110.

So, what are you going to do about it now?

[DeathCereal]

It's not just being underweight that is the problem. It's the other damage that is done to your body as a result of being VERY underweight. We will all survive (but, who wants to just survive? I want to 'live') slightly below our ideal body weight range, but when you're seriously underweight, it is a big problem. Furthermore, you're only 14, you're still underdeveloped, you're 5' 6'', so 110 isn't 'extremely' underweight for you. You could probably survive, for a short period at that weight. However, remaining at this weight at your age will be overall detrimental to your health as you will screw up the development of your hormones and you may also start to develop physical problems like osteoporosis (and having osteoporosis at 14 is bloody rediculous).

However, as you get older, 110 lbs starts to become severely underweight because you are more developed and are supposed to be heavier. This is when the problems start to get worse. On average, men's testosterone levels peak between 19 and 20. If you continue to remain underweight, yours won't be peaking at all.



I didn't get depressed when I refused to eat food either. I just accepted that I 'couldn't' eat the food. Later on, however, I changed. I hated being the way I was. And, I DID find that eating at home and then going out (the few times that I did go out) put my mind at ease with regard to the condition, but I ALWAYS felt left out or only partly involved with activities that my friends took part in (because I abstained from part of it).

Tell me, what is wrong with one slice of pizza? Is it going to kill you? Will it make you fat?




So, what are you going to do about it now?

You made some good points. I know one slice of pizza wouldn't kill me, and when I did go out more often than not I would have a slice or two depending on when the last time I had eaten was. No, pizza won't make me fat, unless I'm in a surplus of calories.

I'm gaining weight right now. Currently ~116-118lbs.

[MarkVI]

I have a serious question, I just really don't understand why people are being hospitalized for being underweight... Back before summer vacation I weighed a little less than 110lbs at 5'6 1/2 and I felt just fine. It didn't feel any different then when I was chubbier.

Last october/November I was 20 and I got really really sick. It didn't matter what or how much I ate -- my body just wasted away. I went from 155 lbs stage weight to 103lbs....I stayed at around 103 for 10 days before they were able to get the parasites out. I felt like I was going to die and almost did when my organs showed signs of impending failure...I still have issues from it and my immune system is a joke....being that light you're killing yourself, maybe not today -- but down the road your heart could just stop.

I can't imagine doing that to myself on purpose...being so thin is a death certificate just waiting to be signed.

[determined4000]

I have a serious question, I just really don't understand why people are being hospitalized for being underweight... Back before summer vacation I weighed a little less than 110lbs at 5'6 1/2 and I felt just fine. It didn't feel any different then when I was chubbier.
But I would go and hang out with friends and have fun and it never really bothered me.. On those occasions when they went out for pizza, I'd just eat at home , but I'd still go and talk and have fun.

I'm not trying to be mean or negative or anything like that , I just don't get it.

I developed liver, kidney damage, hormone damage and almost died from a low heart rate and digestive problems. So its not just about the weight.

[Environ]

You made some good points. I know one slice of pizza wouldn't kill me, and when I did go out more often than not I would have a slice or two depending on when the last time I had eaten was. No, pizza won't make me fat, unless I'm in a surplus of calories.

I'm gaining weight right now. Currently ~116-118lbs.

Well, supposing your were potentially going to be in a caloric surplus then. Could you not SUBSTITUTE a slice of pizza for something else that you were going to eat?

Listen, you're far too young to be counting calories. You should be enjoying your youth while you have it.