The BEST Cover Letter ever written (by your alpha as fuk Miscer)

[Beast92]

Straight forward and to the point, shows you are not fuking around and wont be some loser wasting the company's money

Corporate America love people that can cut through the bullchit and get stuff done. If you ever expect to get hired into a CEO postion, then TAKE SOME FUKING NOTES.


Straight up alpha:

[nin-com-poop]

It was too long and I didn't read it...laugh out loud

[butwhowasfeel]

good chit

goes straight to targeting the benefits (or what the employer is looking for) rather than being all about 'me, me, me'.

[FinalHash]

in b4 no call back

[BenthamHart]

Eh, the guy comes across as arrogant more so than confident/interesting (which was probably what he was going for). His CL may be different but that doesn't guarantee it'll be relatable to the employer.

*Edit: Also, "Life of the Party" can translate to "Boozed-up, irresponsible frat boy". Not a good way to lead, IMO.

[Beast92]

good chit

goes straight to targeting the benefits (or what the employer is looking for) rather than being all about 'me, me, me'.

Word

Get back to me if you're looking for someone who you'll actually enjoy working with.

Beast92,

[Schnitzl]

Comes off as a douchebag. I wouldn't want someone cocky like that to start arguing with all my requests and never taking responsibility for his actions. Would rather hire someone who shows he/she can handle the pressure by actions aka. previous experience and description of what they actually did in their job than someone who thinks he's the gods gift on earth and isn't backing up the claims with anything.

2/10 would throw the resume away

[shotgun85]

In for results. But pretty sure 99% of recruiters would find u too arrogant and not give u a chance.

But on the upside - the remaining 1% could be the companies YOU would also rly enjoy working for in the future.

[cheapshot555]

i mean honestly...with the rise of these new hipster type owners/interviewers/employers...who are typically young now...they would really enjoy this app...

obviously this wouldn't work for a big corporate firm or w.e but small businesses and or w.e not pushing billions would love this type of employee if he actually can put in the work..

[Ceo10kdaybro]

and they never got back to the self absorbed prick who wrote that CV

[ManSmore]

I'm sorry but the position you applied for has been filled. We will keep your resume on file in case we ever become dumb fuks and want to hire an obnoxious kunt.

[BK909]

Would not hire but would keep contact info if I ever needed to score some coke.
Sounds like a douche addict.

[GetCrunK]

I don't know how they do things in Mexico, but that **** would get instantly deleted in USA. That cover letter sucked **** buddy.

[ZantaKlaus]

lol at thinking a hiring manager is reading that wall of text. They have shorter attention spans than miscers. Manager would literally take one glance at it, lol at how long it is, say "TL;DR" to himself, and delete. Then later on his lunch break he'd tell his colleagues about how yet another clueless ******* wanted to tell him their life story in a cover letter.

Even if someone did read it, he comes off immature, condescending, and unprofessional, talks about chit that belongs on resume not cover letter, and negs himself numerous times. Not surprised it's an entry-level position, dude's probably been trying to get his foot in the door somewhere for years and keeps wondering what he's doing wrong.

"Life of the Party" in high school and fraternity. lol If I was the manager I'd send him a three word rejection email - "Please don't breed."

[AshWar]

cocky as ****. Wouldn't hire you op

[EctoSkinnyFat]

Seems like you're discrediting his company by saying chit like "It doesn't take a rocket scientist to work for you" as if he's some menial, unimportant trash.

[sotrktiv]

Sorry typo. Next.

[doughnutgut]

As soon as you put you are willing to work the hours asked.

You lost the job.


Expectations need to beyond what is asked.

[AZth3tics]

If I was a recruiter I would give them a call just because that letter was a breath of fresh air and most likely made their awful day.

[CestLaVida]

You sound like a delusional entitled *******.

Acting entitled is good up to a certain level but you took ot too far, also you don't sound very professional. All you were basically doing was putting down other applicants and exalting yourself while telling them how their company is mediocre

Feel free to neg me if you get this job though

[Rhanor]

Eh, the guy comes across as arrogant more so than confident/interesting (which was probably what he was going for). His CL may be different but that doesn't guarantee it'll be relatable to the employer.

*Edit: Also, "Life of the Party" can translate to "Boozed-up, irresponsible frat boy". Not a good way to lead, IMO.

I agree. Drop the life of the party bit and roll with it brah. I like it, i would want to meet you atleast.

[johsin28]

If you ever expect to get hired into a CEO postion, then TAKE SOME FUKING NOTES.

Job position applied for: Entry level sales associate

ayyy lmao

[ManSmore]

It gets me a little hard thinking at the amount of cawk and balls op needs to gargle to land a job with that cover letter.

No homo.

[CellyTech]

This is probably why you don't have a job OP.

That was truly terrible.

[swks26]

If the CEO read that, he'll probably hire you for his own amusement.
If HR read that, next.

[LexBrah]

Would honestly not even respond to this. Sounds like Elliot Rodgers himself wrote this. So narcissistic it's insane.

Top sales guys are confident, social, have a good sense of humour and know when and when not to say things. This guy sounds like some chump who just finished college, who wrote this whilst high on molly.

[bobshmob123]

the guy talks about how likeable he is, but then gives off the impression he's the most unlikeable person ever.

[Didlid]

Eh, the guy comes across as arrogant more so than confident/interesting (which was probably what he was going for). His CL may be different but that doesn't guarantee it'll be relatable to the employer.

*Edit: Also, "Life of the Party" can translate to "Boozed-up, irresponsible frat boy". Not a good way to lead, IMO.

This is exactly what i though. You come across as arrogant and a bit of a know it all. I wouldn't hire you based on this cover letter just because you/whoever wrote it sounds so up yourself.

[CXVII]

Das it mane but he's probably a psychopath tho

[Schnitzl]

It gets me a little hard thinking at the amount of cawk and balls op needs to gargle to land a job with that cover letter.

No homo.

Age: 36