on a mission from squishy to strong

[nycag04]

Upper body today:

Bench: 8xbar, 8x65, 8x85x3
Seated Rows: 8x105, 6x120, 8x110x2
DB Shoulder Press (seated): 8x35s, 6x35s, 8x30s, 6x30s

Superset:
Skull Crushers: 6x60x3, 8x50
BB Curls: 6x50x4

Superset (skipped 4th set bc I was done for):
Lat Raises: 8x15sx2 6x15s
Reverse Flyes: 8x7.5sx3

Last night I forced myself to go to a spin class, and it was probably the sweatiest cardio I've ever done. Lol. I knew if I left it open ended I wouldn't go or wouldn't push myself (I was way too tired), so I'm glad I went. Will aim to do cardio tonight but see when I end up getting out of the office.

[nycag04]

BLARGH 133 this morning. I'm so annoyed. I was 133.5 when I got home from work last night so there's definitely some water retention going on.

45 mins fasted cardio this morning. I'm going to go lower carb today (about 70g is my target) in an attempt to drop this pesky water weight. Tomorrow is deadlift day, so that may mean I need to eat before I lift tomorrow - I typically work out fasted. Will see how I feel in the morning and make the call.

[nycag04]

Well I semi-successfully lowered cals and carbs yesterday, and was 131.4 when I woke up this morning. Felt like garbage yesterday so I'm gonna go back to my 120g of carbs today, but hopefully the water weight is bye bye. Not sure if I mentioned it here, but I was participating in a diet bet (www.dietbetter.com) - had 30 days to lose 5% body weight, deadline today - and my goal was 131.4. Made it by the skin of my teeth! But this was just a side thing - bigger goal is still to get below 130 and either take a diet break or push through to 125.

Workout SUCKED this morning. I am just dead this week. Need sleep desperately. Work is killing me...I have to deal with allocating IPOs, so I typically log on before bed every night to see what we got and ticket. Last night the deal wasn't out yet, so I had to stay up waiting for it...and it never came. Finally went to bed at midnight, checked again at 5:30 before the gym. Nothing. Finally got that done after the gym, but annoying and I am TIRED. I was already behind on sleep. The result is that I could barely lift anything this morning despite taking preworkout and eating a quest before I hit the gym.

Here are the sad results:
Deadlifts: 6x115, 6x135, 4x165x2
Glute Ham Bridges: skipped because I forgot about them before I unloaded the barbell and I was too tired to even pick the BB back up. haha.
Front Squats: 8xbar, 6x95x3
Leg Press: 8x270x4
Incline Crunches, super high incline BW: 2x10...could not fathom another set. Not from muscle exhaustion, just general exhaustion.
Back extensions: one set of 12 w body weight. Lol.

Oh well, some days are just like this. I have spanish class tonight and won't be home until 10, but after that it is BED TIME. I so hope I don't have to wait up on IPOs again. The only thing I wanna do this weekend is sleep. My poor husband has been at work until midnight almost every day this week so we're a sad pair right now!

[nycag04]

I think I redeemed myself a bit this morning.

Pull ups: 4, 4, 4, 3
DB Incline Bench: 8x35sx3, 6x35sx1
Dips (body weight): 8, 7, 8, 7
Lat Pulldowns: 6x120, 6x110, 6x105, 8x100
Tricep Cable Pressdowns: 8x45, 8x42.5x3

A trainer approached me at the gym, and I thought she was going to try to pitch her services. But instead she introduced herself and told me I'm a beast and that she loves watching me work out - totally made my day!

Finally got some sleep last night and I'm SO looking forward to a lazy Friday night on the couch! I weighed in at 132.6 this morning...130.8 last Friday so it's weird. It's not fat though. My gym clothes are getting too big and I look leaner. Gonna keep on keeping on, although I did eat a couple bites of my friend's bday cake today (oops). I'll make up for it in my next 2 meals.

Aaaaand I'm super pumped because I just booked myself a 3 day trip to Canyon Ranch in Miami in a few weeks! Eeeeee. Going all by myself (my husband has a bachelor party that weekend) and I CANNOT WAIT. Good motivation to grind out the next 2 weeks of dieting too!

Thought about getting some cardio in tonight, but my husband and I have both had tough weeks. I think some time on the couch in PJs is where it's at.

[nycag04]

I've taken some time away from here because I'm feeling way too overdone. Saturday's workout was terrible - second one in a week, and that's not normal for me. I broke down when I got home Saturday and cried for an hour. I chart my cycles (it's our method of birth control), and it doesn't appear to be cycle related. I think I'm just too stressed out. Work is killing me, dieting is a constant nagging source of stress, and since I upped my cardio a few weeks ago, the weight has been coming off, but I feel TIRED. Exhausted, actually. So I've decided to lighten up on myself. This isn't an excuse for a free-for-all with my diet. I'm still tracking, just not obsessing, and I'm giving myself a break with the scale. I can't control my work load, but I can control my diet and training, and I need to preserve my sanity right now.

That said, I took Sunday off and only did 25 mins on the elliptical yesterday. I've gotten some decent sleep the last few days, and today was okay in the gym. Not great, but okay. Not logging Saturday's lower body workout because it sucked and I don't feel like revisiting it mentally.

90 secs rest between sets:
Bench Press: 8xbar, 90x6x3, 90x5 (failed the 6th, yaaay roll of shame)
Seated Rows: 8x110x4
DB Shoulder Press (standing): 6x35x3, 5x35 (failed 6th)
Skull Crushers: 6x60, 5x60 (failed 6th), 12x50x2
BB Curls: 6x50x4
Lat Raises: 6x15sx4
Reverse Flyes: 8x8sx4

I was next to a guy doing skull crushers w 40 lbs, which made me feel halfway uncomfortable (I didn't want to look like I was trying to out do him) and halfway feel like a bad*ss. Haha. I may go for some cardio tonight, I may not. Depends on when I get out of the office and my energy level.

With the relaxing on my diet, I've ended up about 100 cals over my 1445 cutting target most days. Mostly from carbs. I'm just trying not to let myself feel that miserable hungry feeling because I realized it's seriously stressing me out and I'm going to give up and binge my face off soon if I don't give it a rest for a little while. I'd been hoping to grind out the last 5 lbs and be done with the cut, but my body has other plans. And that's okay.

[nycag04]

Last night I took advantage of an opportunity to leave the office early (like 6 pm early). We actually had decent - 60 degree!! - weather yesterday, my husband also got out of work early, and we took a nice long walk through Central Park. Beats the treadmill any day! It was amazing. I actually felt like a real person with a real life for a few minutes.

My workout this morning was so much better. I actually felt like I had a little energy for once, even though I was there about half an hour earlier since I needed to be at work by 7:30 today. I'm hoping the food/sleep/reduction in stress are helping.

My right butt cheek and left knee were feeling a little off this morning, so I tried to stretch and warm up well, and I think they're fine. 90 seconds rest between sets (except the ab stuff, really no rest between those).

Front squats: 8xbar, 8x65, 8x85, 8x95, 8x105
Deadlifts: 6x115, 6x135, 6x155, 4x175 I've been so down on myself about lack of progress here, and I think my lack of confidence has been making it worse. But I felt pretty good today.
Glute Ham Bridges: 8x155x4
Leg Press: 8x270, 8x320x3
Supersets:
Hanging Leg raises: 15x3
Back Extensions holding 45 lb plate: 12x3

Right now I'm feeling okay about where I am diet wise. The scale is hovering around 133 (up from my low of 130.8), which I feel sure is just water from the added carbs. As I mentioned before, I'm ending up around 1550-1600 most days without trying very hard, and I'm FEELING better. I may keep bumping up and go to maintenance, but for now I'll just hang out here and see how I feel. If my head is in the game after another week at this level, I may drop back down and try to finish out the cut.

[mavd]

Zomg 270# leg press?? Now I'm embarrassed that I just logged like 50# lol. Do you stretch before doing those? My hip flexors were still tight from Sunday's workout :-/

[nycag04]

Zomg 270# leg press?? Now I'm embarrassed that I just logged like 50# lol. Do you stretch before doing those? My hip flexors were still tight from Sunday's workout :-/

I think this is one that you can improve pretty quickly with if you're not used to it. And unfortunately for me it doesn't seem to translate to any special squat #s. Ha. Plus tight hip flexors aren't doing you any favors! But still...never a reason to be embarrassed. If I thought about that when I posted some of my #s I'd be crying on the floor. Haha.

[nycag04]

FRIDAY THANK GOD.

Wide Grip Pull Ups: 5, 4, (switched to palms facing grip for this set only) 5, 2
DB Incline Bench: 6x35sx3, 4x35s (failed the 5th)
Dips (bodyweight): 8 sets of 4
Lat Pulldowns: 8x100x4 (these were SO HARD today holy hell)
Tricep Cable Pressdowns: 8x42.5x4
T-Bar Rows: 8x45x4

Felt pretty good! I don't know if it's the extra carbs/cals or what, but I'm feeling SO much better. I ate too much light ice cream last night, so scale jumped a bit this morning, but my weekly average is 133.4. Less than 1 lb up from last week's average, despite a week of extra cals and carbs. I'm fine with that. I have friends in town this weekend; will reevaluate my plan on Sunday evening. I'll either do another week of slightly increased cals or I'll go back to hard core cutting, depending on how I feel.

[mavd]

Plus tight hip flexors aren't doing you any favors! But still...never a reason to be embarrassed. If I thought about that when I posted some of my #s I'd be crying on the floor. Haha.

Yeah I caught on to that pretty quick. Yoga last night was like an hour of hammie and hip flexor stretching, though, so hopefully that'll help.

IMO 1500-1600 should still be cutting numbers for you, so the pound up is probably glycogen/water storage from eating a bit more. You might want to stick there for a while to see if you are still losing weight.

[nycag04]

IMO 1500-1600 should still be cutting numbers for you, so the pound up is probably glycogen/water storage from eating a bit more. You might want to stick there for a while to see if you are still losing weight.

Oh I am definitely counting on that lb being glycogen/water storage...lord I hope so! Haha. But 2 days I think I was in the 1800-2000 cal range - which I still don't think should be gaining #s. I'm just paranoid because cutting is so miserable to me so I want to keep a really close eye on the scale to make sure I'm not going out of control and eating more than I think I am.

[mavd]

Oh I am definitely counting on that lb being glycogen/water storage...lord I hope so! Haha. But 2 days I think I was in the 1800-2000 cal range - which I still don't think should be gaining #s. I'm just paranoid because cutting is so miserable to me so I want to keep a really close eye on the scale to make sure I'm not going out of control and eating more than I think I am.

We are still similar heights and weights and activity levels, and according to my weightloss that's been consistent and my actual calorie intake my TDEE is 2050. Now, I will admit that I don't ALWAYS log splurges and when my husband cooks he doesn't weigh things. So chances are I am actually eating more than I am counting and my TDEE is higher than that :-) I think even at 2000 you should be more than safe!

[nycag04]

That makes me feel a little better. I never miss a workout, but I feel like I get so little activity outside of the gym. Stupid work. I think the only thing that saves me is living in a walking city. But thanks...this helps ease my mind. It'll probably be good to prove to myself that I'm not going to get fat at maintenance. I already feel...puffier, but of course that's to be expected with extra intake. It's not like my clothes don't fit.

[nycag04]

I decided I'm ready to get back to cutting this week. I'll be in Miami in 2 weeks and I know I'll be a lot happier if I buckle back down. It sure has been nice to relax a little though.

I had friends in town over the weekend, and therefore ate out more than usual, and had a few drinks. Still kept it in check, and don't think I was ever over maintenance (if that), but the scale still shocked me by showing 138.1 yesterday! Ahhh. I think I'm about to get my period so definitely no help there. I bet I'll be back to 132 by Friday.

Saturday - running on 6 hours of sleep:
SLDLs: 8x135x4 - went very slowly and focused on full range of motion, because I think I've sort of been shortcutting on these a bit.
Glute Ham Bridges: 12x135x4 - ow
Squats: 8xbar, 115x8x4 - I sucked at squats and idk why. Disappointing.
Leg Extensions: 8x100, 8x130x2 (again, went very slowly. wasn't feeling the last 2 sets)
Leg curls: 8x60 - didn't do more bc I was completely out of energy. again. Also skipped abs. Not my best work.

This morning:
Bench: 5xbarx2, 5x65 (to warm up - thinking I need to do a better job of warming up everything), then 6x95, 6x95, 5x95, 4x95 (supposed to be 6-8 reps but I didn't feel like changing the plates. lol)
Seated Rows: 5x55x2 to warm up, then 6x120x4
DB Shoulder Press (seated): 6x35sx3, 5x35s (failed 6th)
Skull Crushers (supersets with curls): 6x60x4
BB Curls (supersets w skull crushers): 8x50, 7x50, 6x50x2
Lat Raises: 8x15s, 6x15sx3 - do I suck at these? Why are they so hard? I guess at end of workout?
Reverse Flyes: 6x10sx4
and added upright rows just for fun: 8x50x4

Shoulders were DONE FOR. Going to the eye dr tonight but may squeeze in some cardio if I feel like it. Back to the cutting grind!

[mavd]

Ugh. I admit, I didn't step on the scale since Friday since its TOTM for me and I really don't care to know.

For SLDLs, I always touch the weight to the ground (but not set it down).

[nycag04]

Ugh. I admit, I didn't step on the scale since Friday since its TOTM for me and I really don't care to know.

For SLDLs, I always touch the weight to the ground (but not set it down).

I ALMOST didn't get on the scale for that reason, but I sort of DID want to know and figured I could handle it this time. It didn't crush me, much to my surprise...it's pretty funny though.

Smart. That's what I'll do from now on. I am DEFINITELY feeling it in my hammies and glutes today.

[Blixish]

Just subbed your journal. I am fairly new around here, been mostly lurking. I Enjoyed reading your journal and feel like our journeys are similar.

Ftr, I have a really hard time with lat raises as well. I'm finishing out Jamie Eason's live fit trainer, and she has 3 sets of 15 supersetted with upright DB rows and I can BARELY eek out 15 at 10# and I feel like such a weakling. Hubby was doing them yesterday and was grumbling about having to use a low weight to do them. I think they're just frustrating in general.

[nycag04]

Just subbed your journal. I am fairly new around here, been mostly lurking. I Enjoyed reading your journal and feel like our journeys are similar.

Ftr, I have a really hard time with lat raises as well. I'm finishing out Jamie Eason's live fit trainer, and she has 3 sets of 15 supersetted with upright DB rows and I can BARELY eek out 15 at 10# and I feel like such a weakling. Hubby was doing them yesterday and was grumbling about having to use a low weight to do them. I think they're just frustrating in general.

Hey welcome! Do you have a journal?

That makes me feel better. On the plus side my shoulders look pretty cool when I'm struggling to lift the light weights. Haha.

[nycag04]

I feel pretty good about this morning's workout, even though it doesn't look that great on paper...er screen. Side note - haven't been doing anything in the evenings fitness wise, but did get a spin class in yesterday AM. And baked cookies and brownies last night. Ha. (Only ate half of one.)

Weighed 137.7 this morning. Seriously being a woman is sht sometimes. So here's a little glimpse of what I've been dealing with; columns go date, weight (always first thing in AM after emptying bladder), cycle day (I chart), and day of week. So - I can only assume that it's going to drop soon now that AF is here...else I may cry for a week straight. Because seriously yall, I have NOT been eating enough for this to make any sense.

3/13/2014 132.6 32 Thursday
3/14/2014 134.2 33 Friday
3/15/2014 134.9 34 Saturday
3/16/2014 138.1 35 Sunday
3/17/2014 137.1 36 Monday
3/18/2014 136.1 37 Tuesday
3/19/2014 137.7 1 Wednesday

Anyway, back to today's workout. 90 seconds between sets, except where noted, and I changed up my warm up sets. Out of laziness, I've really only been doing one warm up set. But I'm trying to change that because I'm not progressing like I'd like to, that I think that's part of my problem. From now on, I'lll put my warm up sets in brackets. Legs were still a little sore from Saturday and/or spinning, and I had cramps, but still a good session.

Deadlifts: [5x95x2, 5x115, 5x135] 6x165x4 - felt pretty good!
Glute Ham Bridges (60 seconds between sets): 8x165x4
Leg Press: this was annoying. Dropped the weight to 180 bc I wanted to do better warm up sets, and once I went past perpendicular, my left knee FREAKED OUT. It's been feeling a little off here and there for a few weeks, but nothing terrible. But this was a very clear no go. So after 4 reps at 180 I decided to respect my body and move on.
Overhead squats (subbed for front squats - all squat racks were in use forever): 12x40, 12x50, 8x60x2 (haven't really done these much, so some trial and error going on figuring out the weight). Knee felt fine. So weird.

Skipped incline crunches and back extensions bc was late (I cannot make myself wake up any earlier than 5:30!), but I'll try to get them in tonight if I do cardio, or I'll add them tomorrow (which will be AM cardio).

What am I supposed to be about my knee? I assume it's okay to do stuff that doesn't hurt? Fortunately I haven't dealt with too many injuries, aside from my lame ankles that I've hurt and not let recover 10 too many times.

[mavd]

Good idea to respect the knee. If it didn't hurt, I'm guessing something was just very tight somewhere. Tightness in your quads can very easily make things pull in your knee. I would work on stretching out the quad and foam rolling the quad of that side.

Are your cycles always so long? I'm not sure if I'm jealous or would die a little each month thinking I was preggers lol. I'm a nice faithful 26-28 day-er here.

[nycag04]

Thanks - I will try that and see if it helps for sure. Actually really looking forward to some foam rolling tonight, either at the gym or at home in my pjs.

No - they're usually 27-28 days, but I've definitely noticed that they're longer when I'm dieting. And it's ovulation that takes longer, not the luteal phase. Do you chart? I have to say it's one of the cooler things I've done (which probably makes me a loser, lol). Part of me thinks I wouldn't have ovulated this month at all if I hadn't increased cals a bit. Cycle was weird all around this month. Super low temps until ovulation (so I guess lowered metabolic rate, which makes sense), then normal most of luteal phase, but usually I get my period on the day my temp drops. This time, it dropped on Sunday - same day my weight spiked big time - but I didn't get my period until today. Aaaand now you know everything about my cycle. Haha. I think dieting adds a whole interesting dimension.

[mavd]

No, I looked into charting when I wanted to switch of HBC, but then I got the copper IUD (which I still sort of regret--every aspect of my cycle has gotten worse). I just have a phone app so I can "keep track" of things and not get blind-sided now that I don't have a pill pack to remind me lol.

[nycag04]

Ah yes you already said that somewhere, sorry! I forgot. I wanted a copper IUD but my doc gave me an attitude about it and I eventually gave up. I've read that some people react pretty badly to them.

Good thing about the copper IUD is that you can still track since you ovulate and everything. Was a big plus in my mind, because I really wanted to see if my body was working the right way after so many years on HBC. Anyway you could always be really meticulous about charting to feel confident using that as your primary form of BC and then ditch the IUD when you're ready.