I may have more relatives than I thought

[Minotaur]

My paternal grandfather was from Sicily. Sicilians are noted for estrangements in their families... "I donta know you... yoorra dead-a to me... I have-a no familee no more... " My grandfather claimed he had no brothers. Over the years we've come to know he had at least one or two brothers.

Just about everywhere I go, someone asks me "Are you related to So-and-So?" I say "I don't know, he may be a distant cousin, why do you ask?" "Because you look very much alike". Sometimes I throw in a twist... "Oh, yeah you mean So-and-So from X Twp.?" "Yeah, so you do know him?" "Nope, never met". Then the person is all confused... how can I know who the person is their talking about but not know him? Well, because I've only been asked 50,000 times! When I worked at Macy*s, a customer saw my name badge and damn near shrieked "Oh my God! That's my maiden name. You look just like my cousin ... " Then I tell the story that we may be distant cousins through our grandfathers or great grandfathers.

It really is suspect because this happens a lot. It seems that if we are all related and descendants of two or three brothers, these guys were like ****, all over. I'm talking from Brooklyn to northern to central NJ. Today was what pushed me from 95% sure we're all related to 99% sure. My brothers and sisters are also pretty well convinced these other people are cousins.

Today I went to the municipal hall in the township were I was married, to get the marriage license (it's only taken me two months to go get it). The woman in the registrar's office looked at my name, looked at me and said "Oh are you related to So-and-So?" (here we go again ). I said "who is he?" She said he's the police captain. I said that we might be distant cousins... blah... blah... (I should make a video telling this story and carry it with me... save my voice).

She calls her co-worker over and says to her "Who does this guy [me] remind you of?" The co-worker didn't miss a beat and said "Gee, he looks just like Capt. So-and-So". OK, so most bald "husky" white guys look alike. They call over a third co-worker and ask her "does he remind you of [wanna guess]?" She says yeah, kind of. The first woman goes to print a picture of him to show me; it was iffy because of the print quality. I got home and found his picture on the 'net. This is the first time I've seen for myself one of these suspected cousins, and dammit if there isn't a definite resemblance. We're not dead-ringers, but there is a resemblance. My niece is working on a family genealogy project, so I called my sister, told her about this, and forwarded his picture.

Now that I know where this guy works, I'd like to contact him to maybe get a chance to talk with him about his family background, see what he knows, and find out if all these pockets of people with our name, who all resemble each other are related. Our paternal family history has been very secretive owing to the secretive nature of Sicilians. A [genuine] cousin who went to Sicily to research and meet our supposed family kept getting stonewalled and cold-shouldered. It would be interesting to find out if and how we are related.

[justboo2u]

'Nino... I'm Sicilian?'

[Minotaur]

My father's cousin used to say there were two families in the village with the same name but they weren't related, despite resembling each other. Of course they weren't related... they excommunicated each other!

[Old-Time-Lifter]

My father's cousin used to say there were two families in the village with the same name but they weren't related, despite resembling each other. Of course they weren't related... they excommunicated each other!

Wasn't just Italians. My wife's grandfather even changed the spelling of his last name because he was mad at his relatives. LOL

At one time I tracked down a very, very, very, very, distant cousin who lived in South America. He e-mailed me a photo of him and I couldn't believe it he looked just like several of my cousins.

One of my Dad's cousin's went back to Switzerland to the village that my great-grandfather came from. He was walking down the street and somebody stopped him and asked if he was a (our last name) and he said 'yes' they said 'I thought so you look like one'. He then took him to meet some distance relatives.

[paolo59]

Sicilians...if there's one, there's 350! And such a tiny island! Go figure?



Just think brother. There will be a whole lot more kitchens and dining rooms where you can show up to share a meal! There's nothing wrong with that in the least!


Hell...I just popped on 'ancestors.com' to see if I've got a Sicilian hidden away somewhere! LMAO

[justboo2u]

Wasn't just Italians. My wife's grandfather even changed the spelling of his last name because he was mad at his relatives. LOL

At one time I tracked down a very, very, very, very, distant cousin who lived in South America. He e-mailed me a photo of him and I couldn't believe it he looked just like several of my cousins.

One of my Dad's cousin's went back to Switzerland to the village that my great-grandfather came from. He was walking down the street and somebody stopped him and asked if he was a (our last name) and he said 'yes' they said 'I thought so you look like one'. He then took him to meet some distance relatives.

So...

How do you spell 'Lifter' in Swiss?

[jeffaus]

Frank, are you George Costanza's father?

[paolo59]

Frank, are you George Costanza's father?

He sort of looks like him.





Pass another plate of whatever that was my way! LOL To hell with the cousins! I'm interested in the aunts that know how to cook!

[Minotaur]

Wasn't just Italians. My wife's grandfather even changed the spelling of his last name because he was mad at his relatives. LOL

My father's family did that too. My youngest uncle (my father's "kid brother" as he called him) also anglicized the name... I mean as in dropping and adding letters. My father was furious with him. lol

At one time I tracked down a very, very, very, very, distant cousin who lived in South America. He e-mailed me a photo of him and I couldn't believe it he looked just like several of my cousins.

One of my Dad's cousin's went back to Switzerland to the village that my great-grandfather came from. He was walking down the street and somebody stopped him and asked if he was a (our last name) and he said 'yes' they said 'I thought so you look like one'. He then took him to meet some distance relatives.

Talk about 6 degrees of separation! My sister told me she was in a restaurant and saw a man that could have passed for my father, right down to how his mustache was trimmed. It really spooked her because my father's been dead since 1989. She regrets not having gone to talk to him to ask his name. I can understand strangers having resemblances, but when someone looks like you and has your name, something's going on.

[Minotaur]

Sicilians...if there's one, there's 350! And such a tiny island! Go figure?



Just think brother. There will be a whole lot more kitchens and dining rooms where you can show up to share a meal! There's nothing wrong with that in the least!


Hell...I just popped on 'ancestors.com' to see if I've got a Sicilian hidden away somewhere! LMAO

Our ancestral village in Sicily is Collesano (in Sicilian, Culisanu), just outside Palermo. Well, everything is just outside Palermo, Messina or Siracusa, there's only three cities on the freakin' island! lol The 2007 population of Collesano was ~4100, so it had to be even smaller in the 1880s when my grandparents were born. It seems this family was rather productive. My nephew started a search on ancestry.com but got stalled because there's no information about my great-grandparents, except maybe in the town cathedral. And like I said, no one was talking. If you ever want to find skeletons for anatomical study, go open some Sicilian closets.

[Minotaur]

Frank, are you George Costanza's father?

Haha... no, I know where Frankie Jr. has been... and never been or ever will.

[Minotaur]

Btw, I showed my stepdaughter the guy's picture, told her the story and asked if she's seen him around the court complex (she works for the judge who married me and my partner). She said no, but asked right off the bat how is he related to me when she saw the caption with his name. I said "huh? you see it? not a coincidence?" She said not only could we be cousins, she said we could pass for brothers, pointing out features I didn't consider (beyond being bald and white ).

If we're related we are 2nd cousins (share the same great-grandparents, our grandparents being brothers); but if he's one generation younger than me (he's about the age of my nieces and nephews) then we'd be 2nd cousins once removed. In either case, if my grandfather had 2, 3, 7 brothers or just 1, all of the people around the same age are at most 2nd cousins... pretty close genetically.

[beachguy498]

Win Mega Millions and you won't be able to count the line of long-lost relatives standing at your front door...

Rob

[Minotaur]

That's why I closed my ******** account. lol

[paolo59]

Our ancestral village in Sicily is Collesano (in Sicilian, Culisanu), just outside Palermo. Well, everything is just outside Palermo, Messina or Siracusa, there's only three cities on the freakin' island! lol The 2007 population of Collesano was ~4100, so it had to be even smaller in the 1880s when my grandparents were born. It seems this family was rather productive. My nephew started a search on ancestry.com but got stalled because there's no information about my great-grandparents, except maybe in the town cathedral. And like I said, no one was talking. If you ever want to find skeletons for anatomical study, go open some Sicilian closets.

That is fascinating stuff! Have you ever been to Sicily to poke around and see where your family came from? Ha! I guess Sicily is one of those places where there's a whole lot more of them living in New York than there are living there now!

[Minotaur]

I haven't been there, but my nephew, his wife and our cousin have been there. They said it was charmimg, just as you see in Godfather II, and the people were just as cold and aloof. If I ever went it would be as a tourist, not for genealogy. It's quite possible the small towns are tired of Sicilian-Americans looking for their roots.

[paolo59]

I haven't been there, but my nephew, his wife and our cousin have been there. They said it was charmimg, just as you see in Godfather II, and the people were just as cold and aloof. If I ever went it would be as a tourist, not for genealogy. It's quite possible the small towns are tired of Sicilian-Americans looking for their roots.

Ha ha! I bet you're right on that. These crusty old Sicilians who have scraped out a living, hard as nails, nothing easy...ever. They probably do get fed up with Sicilian-Americans showing up, looking for their roots. The 'cold and aloof' thing is interesting/fascinating too. I suppose the history and culture of the place over the centuries produces a distinct personality and mindset.

[Minotaur]

Yes, I think there is a cultural/collective defensiveness because being at a crossroads, Sicily was invaded and settled by the Greeks, Romans, Arabs, Spanish, even the Norse. The Sicilian language isn't a dialect of Italian, but a sister language, and is heavily influenced by the cultures that settled there. The language is being abandoned by the younger generations in favor of Italian. So maybe it's no surprise older Sicchies are stubborn as hell.

[paolo59]

LOL Being at a 'crossroads' can be nice, then again...not so much so! Over the centuries you tend to get run over a lot! I'm not very 'up' on Sicilian history, but I do know they got stomped on a couple of times over the years. Ha!

[Minotaur]

Yes they certainly did, so there we have it. Though my father was enormously proud of the fact that the Sicilians foiled one of Hannibal's attempts to conquer Rome. However, for my part, I think he made that up.

[Dave1958]

I would suggest family tree DNA. It looks at male to male transitions and variations. It's amazing how many mamas babies are daddy's maybe not.

I was told two stories I will relate.

In the 1800s a couple bought a farm in Tennessee. They had been married. 3 years and no children. There last name is Z. Adjacent to there farm lived an old bachelor Y. When Y died he willed his farm to the young couple Z. Who never had any other children. A person searching family tree DNA found his DNA did not match anyone in the Z family . He then did a database search and found it matched the Y family, he then pulled the will where the young couple had been named175 years ago . Now whether this was done with the husbands knowledge who knows. It's just an interesting story.

The second story involves president Clinton's biologically fathers family. President Clinton's biological father last name is not Clinton. It's an common Irish surname. However someone in that family supposed post . But the dna matches Northern Europe ( Vikings). Sopeoples heritage may not be what it seems.

Your Scillonian heritage is part of the most conquered people in history. But they have continued to survive. I can count the cartegians, Romans , Greeks, moors, German, and Americans. . Best of luck in your mystery

[Minotaur]

Thanks Dave. It really is often startling to find out who we are (or are not!). I haven't seen the progress on my niece's work, but I heard she's really putting her all into it.

[DocHoss]

Wasn't just Italians. My wife's grandfather even changed the spelling of his last name because he was mad at his relatives. LOL

I recently found out that my family's name got altered shortly after my father was born. Might have had something to do with the Nazi occupation.