Things we do or have done that we would never tell anyone In Real Life (srs)(gtfih)

[CHUNKUK]

When I was 11 I fapped for the first time, in the toilet. The cum wasn't white but was clear and it sprayed in all directions and stained the walls (next time I fapped I didn't cum like that ). Parents repainted it.
When I first started secondary school (I was 11) I took a toilet break and wanked not in the cubicle but by the piss trough. Luckily no one came in.
When I was 12 I stayed at my grandparents and me and my mum shared a double bed. I quietly fapped in it without waking her.
when I was 13/14 I sucked/wanked two guys who later turned out to be straight with gf and kids.
When I was 14 I was playing tug of war with our German shepherd dog on the living room floor. I was only wearing boxers and the dog tried to mount me.
When I was 15 I was horny and really wanted to stick something up my butt. I found a screwdriver with a decent sized handle and used that when I had a wank. Afterwards I put it in the sink filled up with water and then went to the toilet and planned to clean it after. Instead I completely forgot about it and my mum came home and found it and was like wtf.
When I was 18-21 I had this insanely handsome French ****buddy. He ****ed me once but when he pulled out some sh*t fell from my arse onto his white bedsheets. Awks.
When I was 22 I started working at a bank and my manager asks if I would like to go to the pub with him after work. We get drunk and he asks me to suck him off so we go into the pub toilet and I blow him (he had wife and kids).
At same work place a coworker showed me porn on his phone of blonde bishes getting humped by dogs. When they sucked off the dogs I nearly threw up.
I have surreptitiously checked out other guys' cocks when taking a piss.
I was sucking off a straight guy on my sofa and his gf rings him and they're chatting away while I'm deepthroating his cock.

no homo

[Nicro327]

I know how to orgasm by applying pressure to a certain part of my penis.

This being said I've fapped to girls in their presence without them knowing.

/Master masturbator checking in

[SdvsB]

When I was 11 I fapped for the first time, in the toilet. The cum wasn't white but was clear and it sprayed in all directions and stained the walls (next time I fapped I didn't cum like that ). Parents repainted it.
When I first started secondary school (I was 11) I took a toilet break and wanked not in the cubicle but by the piss trough. Luckily no one came in.
When I was 12 I stayed at my grandparents and me and my mum shared a double bed. I quietly fapped in it without waking her.
when I was 13/14 I sucked/wanked two guys who later turned out to be straight with gf and kids.
When I was 14 I was playing tug of war with our German shepherd dog on the living room floor. I was only wearing boxers and the dog tried to mount me.
When I was 15 I was horny and really wanted to stick something up my butt. I found a screwdriver with a decent sized handle and used that when I had a wank. Afterwards I put it in the sink filled up with water and then went to the toilet and planned to clean it after. Instead I completely forgot about it and my mum came home and found it and was like wtf.
When I was 18-21 I had this insanely handsome French ****buddy. He ****ed me once but when he pulled out some sh*t fell from my arse onto his white bedsheets. Awks.
When I was 22 I started working at a bank and my manager asks if I would like to go to the pub with him after work. We get drunk and he asks me to suck him off so we go into the pub toilet and I blow him (he had wife and kids).
At same work place a coworker showed me porn on his phone of blonde bishes getting humped by dogs. When they sucked off the dogs I nearly threw up.
I have surreptitiously checked out other guys' cocks when taking a piss.
I was sucking off a straight guy on my sofa and his gf rings him and they're chatting away while I'm deepthroating his cock.

I think you should post in that homosexual thread

[sweetmcghee]

Put a flashlight in pillow to bring to a summer camp
Forgot about flashlight in pillow
Joined a pillow fight
K.O. the camp counselor
Sent home

Classic

[6doublefive321]

jerked off in a walmart when i was like 10 years old

[alienGenetics]

Stuck my finger in my angus and sucked on it when I was a kid to try and make myself sick so I wouldnt have to go to school

[Superh1]

I like to dissect women. did you know I'm utterly insane?

[Jeeter]

Every time I wake up with morningwood I grind my dink against my mattress cause it feels so good. It's like a mini-nut bust, but no actual coast guard comes out nomsayin.

[6doublefive321]

heres another one i haven't really told anyone. 16 years old spoon plucking my hot 9/10 gf at 12 at night real slow and quietly with her door open. I had a perfect view down the hall to the living room where her mom was watching tv on the couch. Couldn't help but picturing her coming in and joining.

[PlatypusMounter]

heres another one i haven't really told anyone. 16 years old spoon plucking my hot 9/10 gf at 12 at night real slow and quietly with her door open. I had a perfect view down the hall to the living room where her mom was watching tv on the couch. Couldn't help but picturing her coming in and joining.

calm the **** down Oedipus.

[Spid3rMan]

In third grade we had keyboarding class ( learned how to type on a keyboard with a small screen). We'll I typed up all the cuss words I knew multiple times over. About 30 Mins later I overheard my teacher and another teacher shockingly finding out. I almost told them but never did...

Had keyboarding class in 10th grade high school (took several computer based courses in HS). This was circa 1994, so we still used 3.5" floppies (lol... floppies). The network was an I.B.M. IPX/SPX with mostly i386 machines. Instead of doing whatever work we had to do, I would goof off. Then when class was almost done, I would connect to another computer's a:\ drive and copy their saved file (whatever that days work was) to my disk. Just open the file and change the name; presto!

[Bruthar]

Wet pants (wore jeans) back in Middle school I believe, nearly positive it was like 7th grade or something. Toughed it out, teacher was a prick who had a strict bathroom policy. Kids told me they thought there was a sewer leakage somewhere. Felt embarrassed and awful the entire time (set through like 3 class periods).

Tried to self suck on multiple occasions, almost succeeded once, haven't tried since like Freshman or Sophomore year of Highschool.

Urinate in shared shower rooms all of the time, almost a habit now a days.

[DonnieMega]

This is not as bad as some of the other ones mentioned here but sometimes when my gf passes out and doesn't want sex i cum in her hair, face and once in her ear.

[pepsiconk]

When I'm alone I like to randomly put my wiener on things (especially cold things like metal)




My BO smells like really good weed (srs its weird)


I once crapped my pants when I was about 13 purposely.

I once tried to suck my own dick (failed miserably)

I sometimes put hot sauce in my oatmeal

I've laid on my bed before eagle spread with nothing on and a fan blowing towards my nutsack and angus cuz it feltgoodman.jpg and it was really ****in hot.


When I fap I sometimes talk dirty to whatever I'm fapping to like "Yuhh you like that yeee".


I once ate out this fat chicks butthole when I first started having sex cause I thought it would taste better than her pussy

I once banged a girl whos vag smelled like tuna. Was disgust for days.

Phuck, I always wondered if this was just me, it smells identical to weed.

[JitteryJoes]

I have fapped for 8 consecutive hours. Meant to study on that ******** XR - damn you internet and your unlimited access to free porn.

How is such a thing possible?

[6doublefive321]

calm the **** down Oedipus.

Ha it would have to be mom for it to be an Oedipus complex, but yeah i should of just calmed right the phuck down

[GrownUpEgg]

Can orgasm without masturbation or any kind of physical stimulation.
Got so drunk once I somehow made it inside the door of my house pulled down my pants and chit on the tiled floor and passed out.

[SICKK]

Licked a poo.
srs

Tasted like nothing

This you brah?

[LaBellaVita1]

hahaha.. love it!
laughed so much...

[Animeftw12]

I molested my female cousins in their sleep when I was 15.You know feeling that poosy and tits then rubbing my cawk on that raw azz and sticking my cawk in their hands.

One time I dry humped my mother's friend when we slept together since we were out of beds.

I masturbated to one of my female cousins sleeping right in front of them.

A girl in my class feel asleep in front of my desk.I started feeling up her azz behind the chair and tried to pull her skirt up so I could rub my long dick on her azz.

I fapped in my spanish class in sophmore while my female spanish teacher was watching

I would walk around random stores,get an erection then walk past bishs rubbing my cawk on their azz as I pass.

I threw **** at my neighbor's house when I was 7.

I fuk a married woman and it changed my view on sloots forever

I fapped in the bathroom at school.

I covered my finger with soap then sticked it up my azz to see what gay sex felt like.I also stick my finger half into my azz occasionally.

I sucked a frozen sausage to see what cock sucking felt like.Never did it again

I sliced a cucumber until it was hollowed then filled it with lube and ****ed it.

I fapped for 4 hours straight(No cumming) one time.

More to come

[cellybrah]

I molested my female cousins in their sleep when I was 15.You know feeling that poosy and tits then rubbing my cawk on that raw azz and sticking my cawk in their hands.

One time I dry humped my mother's friend when we slept together since we were out of beds.

I masturbated to one of my female cousins sleeping right in front of them.

A girl in my class feel asleep in front of my desk.I started feeling up her azz behind the chair and tried to pull her skirt up so I could rub my long dick on her azz.

I fapped in my spanish class in sophmore while my female spanish teacher was watching

I would walk around random stores,get an erection then walk past bishs rubbing my cawk on their azz as I pass.

I threw **** at my neighbor's house when I was 7.

I fuk a married woman and it changed my view on sloots forever

I fapped in the bathroom at school.

I covered my finger with soap then sticked it up my azz to see what gay sex felt like.I also stick my finger half into my azz occasionally.

I sucked a frozen sausage to see what cock sucking felt like.Never did it again

I sliced a cucumber until it was hollowed then filled it with lube and ****ed it.

I fapped for 4 hours straight(No cumming) one time.

More to come

[alcofunk]

I love how nobody is disgusted by my post on 87 hahahahaha you sick bunch! Some of the stories in here are classic!

[iKickMidgets]

-One time when I was about 6 or 7 and my friend was 5 or 6 his older brother, maybe about 10 or 11 and a few other older kids had a fake gun. We thought it was real though and he told us to rub are penis's together or he'd shoot us. We did it out of fear. No homo. Strong homo on there part though wtf.
-Accidentally nutted in my face one time when I was about 12, lying down fapping and my jizz just squirted out hard and hit me in the face. Was disgusting, showered immediatley.
-Used to go up to my friends pool with a bunch of other friends, probably about 10 of us, when we were about 13 or 14, we'd always jump in naked and shout out random **** like the sun is setting on the water if our dicks were out.
Nothing else I can think of, never done anything extremely weird by choice.

[CalmWind]

I didn't know what masturbation was until I was 17.

Sometimes I cheat on my diet and don't even care.

[hickorysmoked1]

Ehh fuk it I'll add more

Have 4 sisters and we all lived together. When I was around 9 or 10, one of my older sisters panties were hanging on the rack to dry and I saw a dark yellow mark by the crotch. Was grossed out and immediately thought all vaginas must be like that. Everytime I saw a girl, I would be disgusted thinking they had nasty slimy smelly vaginas, and wanted nothing to do with them. Wasn't until I lost my virginity at 15 or 16 and the girl's poos didn't smell like anything, was a pleasant surprise and I've been in love with Labia ever since.

[cromofo]

Was in friends garage. Friend went into his house to get something and i had this big urge to take a **** so i took a **** in his bucket


fapped to incest porn.(fantasy/taboo)

[SdvsB]

My cousin and I were like 8, we went into the woods and jacked each other off for a min. He wanted me to fuk him in the ass and he got down on all fours but all I did was kneal down and sniff his angus (strong wtf). Then we agreed to suck each other off but he went first and I quickly pulled my pants up and didn't return the favor lol. We never spoke about it again

[.aeterna]

..............................

[Kev1972]

Fcuked a chicken. Srs. Made the news and everything.

http://www.nwitimes.com/news/local/l...07fd8255f.html

[Paulo]

I used to think of one of my aunts when I fapped (prolly around 12-14 years old)

Another aunt used to let me massage her ass when I was real young (between like 6-10)