Foveralone Fleshlight Giveaway - upgrade your fapping

**cyde** · 07-02-2011, 01:10 AM

Alright misc fappers ...I'm giving away a brand new Fleshlight, lube, cleaning solution, and instruction booklet. I work for the company who makes Fleshlights, and decided to give away a unit to a miscer who needs it much more than I.

To be eligible you must:

*Must at least 18 years of age
*Be an active poster with a join date no later than August 2010
*Must not be red
*Be willing to cover shipping charges - will ship to anywhere in the world
*Share an embarrassing story to convince me why you need the Fleshlight more than other miscers

That's it. Just post a lulzy fail story of you striking out with a woman, busting early, worst foreveralone moment for the misc, etc, and I will choose the person who I feel needs the best selling pocket pussy in the world.

Winner will be chosen Sunday, July 9th.

Good luck with your fapping goals of 2011, misc.

**Hoot-N-Toot** · 07-02-2011, 01:11 AM

first post. dont want it though. dis gon be gud

EDIT: spot for sale

**knox07** · 07-02-2011, 01:13 AM

In on 10 pager

**biggestmuff** · 07-02-2011, 01:14 AM

I'll only enter your contest if you're giving away the loose, hairy a55hole fleshlight

**EMartNJ** · 07-02-2011, 01:17 AM

In b4 someone posts a Malodrax story.

**Gif_Brah** · 07-02-2011, 01:17 AM

You got any used ones to give away?

Wat?

**DenialBrah** · 07-02-2011, 01:18 AM

**cyde** · 07-02-2011, 01:18 AM

Originally Posted by biggestmuff

I'll only enter your contest if you're giving away the loose, hairy a55hole fleshlight

I can install my own ass hairs on the Fleshlight if that would work for you.

**zebrah** · 07-02-2011, 01:25 AM

Send it to Malodrax

**Deadlift_10KG** · 07-02-2011, 01:26 AM

seems interesting

**FrozenMercury** · 07-02-2011, 01:27 AM

inb4 the miscer finds out its used

**drxmn** · 07-02-2011, 01:27 AM

Originally Posted by cyde

Alright misc fappers ...I'm giving away a brand new Fleshlight, lube, cleaning solution, and instruction booklet. I work for the company who makes Fleshlights, and decided to give away a unit to a miscer who needs it much more than I.

what the hell lol?

I remember you from the supp section, didnt you use to rep someone, maybe iSatori?

**irvinelaw** · 07-02-2011, 01:28 AM

In for hilarity to ensue.

**ThatJazz** · 07-02-2011, 01:28 AM

spot for sale

**moe_flex** · 07-02-2011, 01:29 AM

send it to me

i need it so i can up my sex game.

**Num3n** · 07-02-2011, 01:31 AM

Originally Posted by irvinelaw

In for hilarity to ensue.

lmfao

**Troll_Patrol** · 07-02-2011, 01:31 AM

lmfaooooooooooooooo

**koulaidbrah** · 07-02-2011, 01:32 AM

I just want the T-shirt.

**biggestmuff** · 07-02-2011, 01:32 AM

Originally Posted by cyde

I can install my own ass hairs on the Fleshlight if that would work for you.

Can you put a packet of your blood about 3 inches into the opening so that I may experience bursting your butt-hymen?

**muruku** · 07-02-2011, 01:35 AM

Originally Posted by koulaidbrah

I just want the T-shirt.

lol this.

**Jelet** · 07-02-2011, 01:36 AM

inb4 used fleshlight.

**kgzk111** · 07-02-2011, 01:36 AM

give me it so i can sell it for 350 dollars

**turboface** · 07-02-2011, 01:39 AM

First time I had anal sex with my gf, she was on top and I finished in her anus. When she got up off my dink to go poop out my man hood, she let a turd out on my chest. She didn't notice it and went to the washroom.

It was warm man. Really warm. I looked at it, sitting there, practically steaming on my chest covered in my jizz. It sat there, no sign of corn and small, like a corrupted chapstick, until she came back from the toilet.

"wtf is that", she said.

"you poo'd on me", I replied

"omfg im so embarressed we're never doing that again omfg why didnt you clean it up before i got back oh god thats so gross did i really do that omg i feel so disgusting are you mad at me?", she was very upset.

"eh i don't mind, pass me a kleenex will you?"

She was crying when she passed me the kleenex and I scooped it up and put it in the garbage then wiped the poo smear off my chest. Told her it was no big deal and I'd be down for teh anus sex anytime, but she was traumatized.

This was 4 years ago and I've never had anal sex with my gf again and probably never will. I need something to keep this interesting if I cannot have thine anus. Forgive my late join date, for I have been ignorant to the aesthetic ways for so long.

Consider me for your prize of all prizes, as I am one who will never know the joys of shooting my load into my gfs sweet, inviting swollen anus ever again for as long as I live...

**AboveAverage** · 07-02-2011, 01:47 AM

One time I tried replicating teh sex by warming up filets of salmon, then wrapping them around my dick in a condom and masterbating. feltgoodman.jpg

can i haz flashlight?

**surferd31** · 07-02-2011, 01:48 AM

first page saving spot

**irvinelaw** · 07-02-2011, 01:48 AM

Originally Posted by turboface

First time I had anal sex with my gf, she was on top and I finished in her anus. When she got up off my dink to go poop out my man hood, she let a turd out on my chest. She didn't notice it and went to the washroom.

It was warm man. Really warm. I looked at it, sitting there, practically steaming on my chest covered in my jizz. It sat there, no sign of corn and small, like a corrupted chapstick, until she came back from the toilet.

"wtf is that", she said.

"you poo'd on me", I replied

"omfg im so embarressed we're never doing that again omfg why didnt you clean it up before i got back oh god thats so gross did i really do that omg i feel so disgusting are you mad at me?", she was very upset.

"eh i don't mind, pass me a kleenex will you?"

She was crying when she passed me the kleenex and I scooped it up and put it in the garbage then wiped the poo smear off my chest. Told her it was no big deal and I'd be down for teh anus sex anytime, but she was traumatized.

This was 4 years ago and I've never had anal sex with my gf again and probably never will. I need something to keep this interesting if I cannot have thine anus. Forgive my late join date, for I have been ignorant to the aesthetic ways for so long.

Consider me for your prize of all prizes, as I am one who will never know the joys of shooting my load into my gfs sweet, inviting swollen anus ever again for as long as I live...

I know that feel bro, I'll never be able to do anal with my gf either.

Probably because she doesn't have a butthole

**xx211aaronxx** · 07-02-2011, 01:49 AM

my sister has this nice leather couch (i stay with her and my mother) one day, i was alone, it was a school day and everyone was at work/school, my sister works at home and occasionly goes out in "service" (thats wat she calls it)(shes a jehovah witness) anyways back to my story, so im home alone, just woke up, got on the laptop for a few and started browsing around out of boredem, suddenly i see some oliva munn photos and start to thinkin, i dont want just a regular fap session, i want something new! something Different, so i start looking around my house for something i could use (read about using a bannana peel, gave me some ideas) but couldnt find anything, i start thinking, "hmmm, do we have anything that would feel like a vagina" and im thinking something leather and BOOM leather couch pops in my head so i went over to the other side of my house and started looking at the leather couch and wondering how the **** could i do this... theres a foot rest that came with the couch, leather also, so what i decided to do was squeeze the foot rest in between both of the couches, to give a nice tight fit and noticed that there was a spot where i could enter my piece in, so i go back to my room grab some things (towel,lotion, etc.) and of course the laptop, with the pics, so i set everything up, lubed up the couch, took off my clothes, put the laptop in a nice spot and i got to it, maybe 10 seconds in i heard a noise but payed no attention to it, my sister walks by and im staring at her the whole time wondering wtf i should do (she walks in and always goes str8 to her room, which is right behind me) so she walks in and goes to the kitchen, she had brought some food with her that she was putting away, i get up slowly (the couch makes a lot of noise) i went to put on my clothes and she walks out and just bertstared and said
sis: wtf were u doing?!"
(i stared at her and didnt know wat to say)
sis: ur ****ing sick
me: ....i thought u were out in service??
she just stared at me and walked to her room...
i dont bring company over anymore cuz if i piss her off she tells everyone wat i did....
****s sooo embarassing

**xeron** · 07-02-2011, 01:50 AM

In. Lol.

Does August 2010 meet the cutoff line? And do I even have to go into my failures? Just ask the Misc about my failures with women.

here's one of my first threads I made about my fails with women on the misc
http://forum.bodybuilding.com/showth...hp?t=133031023

**DARIU5** · 07-02-2011, 01:52 AM

My friend's girlfriend is cheated on him, and he cheated on her. They were near breaking up, and she came to my house to stay the night.

I made her stop drinking alcohol, because she used to have a problem. I let her sleep in my bed next to me as well.

I'm still a virgin, and this occurred a few days ago.

Forever a gentlemen.

**Tunechii** · 07-02-2011, 01:53 AM

Originally Posted by DARIU5

My friend's girlfriend is cheated on him, and he cheated on her. They were near breaking up, and she came to my house to stay the night.

I made her stop drinking alcohol, because she used to have a problem. I let her sleep in my bed next to me as well.

I'm still a virgin, and this occurred a few days ago.

Forever a gentlemen.

shoulda showed her your rep power brah

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