First off, this is a serious thread. I am sure it'll draw some laughs or comments I won't want to hear but that's alright. I am looking for advice/suggestions/thoughts for this, and paying a hooker isn't an option.
I am 24 years old, a great looking guy, and I have never been in a serious relationship. I'm well kept, dress well, look handsome, workout often. I have gone on dates before and gotten hugs, but that's about it. Longest girl I "dated" was two months, and then we broke up. Lack of interest pretty much. Usually the girls I have met that I've "dated" have been through friends.
So I am not sure what to think. I am 24 years old, came close to having sex one time (only cause we were both drunk), never have made out with a girl. Meanwhile, most guys at 24 years old are either A.) Married B.) In a serious relationship or C.) Have had sex once..or twice..or more.
I am very confident in myself and I am always friendly. Always making new friends with guys/girls, I go out to the bars/nightclubs every weekend pretty much. I do other things such as going to church by myself (I do not go to church just to meet girls though), I go to the gym pretty much everyday, I go to the mall by myself. So I am definitely comfortable and happy with me in general. I have no issues talking or meeting girls. For some reason, it just hasn't happened. I haven't met that someone I look at and would be like "Wow, I want her to be my girlfriend". Perhaps I have met girls that are potential girlfriends but I just don't know how to ask them out. If someone can give me pointers that would probably help, so I can see if I'm doing something wrong.
I feel great about my life, but it's definitely missing some companionship. Being single is cool and all, but I'm starting to feel it creep up on me as I get older. And seeing all my friends at 24/25 in serious relationships or being married doesn't help. Nor does the fact I'm 24 years old and still a virgin sexually and on the lips.
Barring any jokes, any thoughts/suggestions on what I can try?
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01-17-2011, 12:54 PM #1
24 years old, virgin, never had a gf/never kissed a girl. (srs)
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01-17-2011, 12:56 PM #2
- Join Date: Apr 2009
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how do you date someone for two months and not even get to first base? srs question.
also, how do you get close to having sex with someone and not even get to kiss them?
I feel there's much that you've left out here..."The Way Out Is Through"
Digital Bath Explained: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9tmPBuSpmfA
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01-17-2011, 01:02 PM #3
Don't be scared of loneliness creeping up on you. You are a male, with the advantage of getting better with age and potentially become a successful and handsome man who can pick a lovely mate at 35.
As for picking up girls, there are plenty of help on this forum and on the internet. Don't try to become a factory-made PUA though, but listen to their advice, apply it to your own personality.
GLHF
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01-17-2011, 01:03 PM #4
And I will answer with honest opinions...
1.) She was a really religious girl, she was very "protective" about anything. The most we did was hug. It was very awkward. Plus, we only saw each other once a week or so due to her work/school schedule. I can't say I'm disappointed it didn't work out. She was not a party girl and I love the nightclub/bar life myself.
2.) I was at a party and we were pretty much like rubbing on each other (grinding on each other, lots of "touching" going on) and stuff but we didn't make out. Dead serious and definitely my fault for not going in. She told me she wanted to do it but I was really hammered though, so even if we did have sex, there's no way I could have went through. Plus I had no protection. I was probably borderline on being conscious - that's how drunk I was. TBH I regret not going through and doing it.
With that being said though, any other thoughts?
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01-17-2011, 01:06 PM #5
Yeah 2 months and nothing. You sure you were dating her?
What happens on your dates, that might be the reason you havent been in a relationship? Do you think you act different around girls you are interested in?
My guess is you come across as a friend to them, which means you dont make any moves on them so they blow you off. You just have to grow some balls and after a date just give her a kiss and I bet you will profit with another date and eventually a gf.
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01-17-2011, 01:09 PM #6
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01-17-2011, 01:10 PM #7
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01-17-2011, 01:11 PM #8
I'm thinking you're right. I definitely have had opportunities where I think I should go in and just ask a girl out, but I don't do it. I have a lot of girls that tell me I am good looking or they will tell people behind my back I am (and whomever they tell tells me). So I know I have the looks and personality, and I am pretty sure if I ask I would get a yes.
A lot of situations come up in awkward places like work, church, or gym. All of the above leave uncomfortable spots if you ask one out and she says no - especially work, mainly because you go to these places on a daily/weekly basis so you will see that person again. But then I think - is that mindset the incorrect one to have? The gym is cool but I'm there to lift weights and go home - not sure I want to be known as a creep hitting on girls there.
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01-17-2011, 01:12 PM #9
And if she is bad in bed, you will think "this is what I've been waiting for my whole life?!", and you won't be as desperate around other women. You will wait for them to prove themselves a bit instead of you assuming you need them and shelling out in the beginning in hopes they will have sex with you.
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01-17-2011, 01:13 PM #10
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fair enough and interesting.
In all honesty, is not all that uncommon to find yourself in that position given the dating scene nowadays.
I dont know you at all, but it "sounds" like you have placed a very high value in yourself, and for the better. However, many women you may have encountered have not recognized the fact that you might be a quality male worth investing time and emotion, and unfortunately, your opportunities have continued to pass on you.
I can't give you too much advice on how to pull women, but from my perspective, you might have to be a little more aggressive, if nothing else, to meet enough prospects so that you can choose and decide someone worth your time.
Just keep working on yourself in the meantime and acquire as much success as you can within your own reach. GL."The Way Out Is Through"
Digital Bath Explained: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9tmPBuSpmfA
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01-17-2011, 01:13 PM #11
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01-17-2011, 01:14 PM #12
This is true. Sex is fun if you don't have to work super hard all the time to get it. When I was doing stuff with a hot woman once, I was not able to fully enjoy myself because I was constantly being told "no" for different stuff and I was always worried how soon it would end. Not fun. Get your life in order, and then you will have the power. Don't let your urges keep you from excelling in other areas or developing and learning.
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01-17-2011, 01:15 PM #13
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01-17-2011, 01:18 PM #14
- Join Date: Apr 2009
- Location: Florida, United States
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well... that mindset hasn't exactly worked out for you yet has it?
nothing wrong with being a little uncomfortable... putting yourself out there is uncomfortable to some degree, and no one likes to be rejected, but GD man, if it works out, it's worth every bit of it isn't it?
The way I see it, I dont go to the gym to feel comfortable.. i go to get results and feel uncomfortable as faakk in the meantime.
I say this with a lot of optimism and respect... "LIVE A LITTLE!""The Way Out Is Through"
Digital Bath Explained: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9tmPBuSpmfA
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01-17-2011, 01:20 PM #15
The thing is, the average girl that's 24, isn't a virgin. If they don't know you're a virgin, they'll expect you to take charge and lead them into the bedroom and know what you're doing. If you tell girls you're a virgin, you have a 50/50 shot of them still being interested. Some will want to teach you, and some will laugh and walk away.
If you want the best shot at it, get every girl in the place to know you're a virgin, and let the ones that are interested come to you.
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01-17-2011, 01:21 PM #16
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01-17-2011, 01:24 PM #17
Pics?
I took my time to loose my v card but guess how it happened? I was drunk as hell and out on the pull with the lads.
Srsly get yourself a good set of mates, go in to town (not looking to pull first off) and trust me it will happen... it has to.life only opens the door to women, i kick the fuker down and rape all the women ~ WackoJackoo
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01-17-2011, 01:36 PM #18
The only reason I wouldn't want to put a pic up is because of well, who knows. I'd hate for someone that knows me IRL or something to see me, especially since most people don't know I'm a virgin, never had a gf, etc.
The other poster said most 24 year old girls aren't virgins, and the same goes for guys. There's 16 year old guys that aren't virgins and for God's sake..I'm 24! While I feel and think highly of myself in general, I'm a little ashamed/embarrassed by this fact. I can almost assure you that on this entire site, I'm probably the only guy past 21 who's never had sex, kissed a girl, or had a true girlfriend.
While I'm no "expert" in body language, I know the usual signs to look for such as eye contact, smiling, hand movements, and so on. Usually I like to smile and if I get a smile back with good eye contact, that's a good time for me to make a move.
From the way a lot of replies sound, it seems like it's best for me to just keep going out to the bars/nightclubs until I land someone that I can just get it over with. I could see having sex benefiting me, even if it's a one and done type deal. I think it's something I should have experienced by now.
I guess the main question is, and this is looking at my situation - should I feel bad? embarrassed? shameful?Last edited by fitfor2011; 01-17-2011 at 01:43 PM.
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01-17-2011, 01:53 PM #19
While the majority of guys have had sex by 24, not all of them have. You aren't alone, just in the minority.
It's nothing to feel bad, embarrassed or shameful about, and doing so won't help you at all. You need to be honest and open about it. Joke about it, and play it up.
All girls are used to guys hitting on them by 24. If you're flirting with a girl and don't go in for the kill, most likely the girls are assuming you're not interested. Girls are getting hit on 500 times a night, so if you want the girl to realize you are interested, but inexperienced, just tell her.
Next time you're flirting with a girl, throw in a joke about never having had a first kiss. If the girl is actually into you, I'd say you have a good chance that she'll lean forward and kiss you right there.
Most girls are used to guys wanting to take the lead, but they are perfectly able to lead the way, if you let them know that they should.
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01-17-2011, 02:02 PM #20
You're wrong, i never had a gf, had sex, kissed a girl, or even gone on casual dates. Ive gotten a lot of signs from really attractive women but was too much of a fuken coward to make a move. Just yesterday i found out that the girl ive been obsessing about, the girl that LIKED ME, the girl i thought about every signle fuken night, has a found a bf, felt like i had an electric shock pass through my body. im not eating, excercising, just lying in my freakin bed waiting to die.
trust me, you're not in half as bad position as you think. And im not even as concerned about losing my virginity as i am with finding a decent girl with morals, who doesnt go out drinking and rubbing her ass on some stranger's crotch in a club.
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01-17-2011, 02:05 PM #21
You're absolutely right about not going in for the girl and their perspective on it. Perhaps my issue is that I think I am "going in for the kill" when in reality, I'm actually not. I tend to treat a lot of girls I meet too much like my guy friends. I'm laid back, relaxed, talk about whatever. While I'm sure that's cool and all, it's not going to help me in the long run. I'll just end up making more and more friends that are girls, and never an actual girlfriend.
Either way, I am definitely in the minority. I don't feel bad or let it eat me up, but you know - inside of me I'm not all that thrilled about. To be honest though, lately I have just been wanting to get it over with. I feel like it's time to just go out, meet someone, and have a good time (you know what I mean).
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01-17-2011, 02:08 PM #22
Why the fuck not? At the age of 24, any girl you end up bedding will expect you to at least have kissing experience for crying out loud. Save up $300 which will get you at least an 8/10 escort for an hour who will give you great sex, boost your confidence, and maybe teach you a thing or two.
It's win-win-win. So again I ask...why isn't it an option?
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01-17-2011, 02:17 PM #23
a decent girl that is attractive is a high value woman. any guy would rather get her than an easy lay....even the manwhores
a high value woman like that will want a high value man (confident, funny, sucessful with friends and social value) - aka the man that is not in bed crying cause he cant talk to a girl (you)
you dont get that kind of woman with no experience with women in general
start with the easy ones/not as attractive. build up from there IMO
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01-17-2011, 02:30 PM #24
Hello OP, I highly highly highly HIGHLY recommend doing The Work.
A simple four-question process that has utterly changed my life.
Watch some of the videos on the http://www.thework.com
and then use the questions for yourself, perhaps on your feelings about women/companionship/girlfriends.
For instance:
"The mind is the limit. As long as the mind can envision the fact that you can do something, you can do it, as long as you really believe 100 percent." - Arnold Schwarzenegger
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01-17-2011, 02:58 PM #25
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01-17-2011, 03:04 PM #26
A girl told you she wanted to have sex and you didn't, and your excuse is that you were drunk. WTF?
So the answer to your question is that your a pussy, so much so that even when your borderline black out drunk you still don't have the balls to make a move.
Just stop being a bitch its as easy as that, take the initiative every once in a while and next time a girl throws herself at you, take it
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01-17-2011, 03:25 PM #27
- Join Date: Oct 2009
- Location: New York, New York, United States
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U need to date a slut bro
what u need rite now is sex..not a nice girl.
like some brah said...go to a club with friends..let the girls know u a virgin....some girls love doin a virgin.F*ck Joe Biden
"Your problem is you spent your whole life thinking there are rules. There aren't. We used to be gorillas. All we had is what we could take and defend." - Lorne Malvo
“I'll do anything usually if there's money involved and little work.” — Daniel Tosh
Chef Crew | NYC Crew | Knee Draggers Crew | Wristwatch Crew
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01-17-2011, 03:26 PM #28
A good time to make a move? After reading your posts you don't know how to/never make a move. MAKE FCUKIN MOVE NEXT TIME. Direct her chin to you with ur hands and go in for the kiss.
I have friend like you. Like to party with me and, is pretty confident in HIMSELF but not with GIRLS. He's basically a 21 year old virgin, well, he nailed a fat hog 2 years ago who was friends with his cousin, but as you can read that did not help him out very much.
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01-17-2011, 03:33 PM #29
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01-17-2011, 03:51 PM #30
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