Assuming you're single, have you found that potential mates in your age group (age 30 - 35) are a little less picky and are a bit more open to people they may haven't considered relationship material in the past? I ask primarily because I turn 30 this year and I'm wondering if, for someone like me, "my time" will be during this period. While I'm less than a 6/10, one factor I've in my favor is that I haven't aged much. Its during this period of time that a lot of guys will lose their attractiveness and, while I won't gain anything, I certainly won't lose anything either.
How about you? Have any of you altered your preferences or are you willing to look at people whom you would've never given a chance to in your teens and 20s?
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01-09-2016, 05:11 PM #1
Question for those in the age 30 - 35 range...
Ad astra per aspera
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01-09-2016, 05:15 PM #2
As a woman, I only became more selective as I got older. When I was younger, he only needed to be attractive and fun. Now, he needs to be attractive and fun, but also have his sh*t together, physically/emotionally/mentally/spiritually/financially healthy, be at the same stage in life, have integrity, and a whole litany of other qualities.
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01-09-2016, 05:15 PM #3
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01-09-2016, 05:24 PM #4
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01-09-2016, 06:10 PM #5
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01-09-2016, 06:23 PM #6
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01-09-2016, 07:14 PM #7
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01-09-2016, 07:36 PM #8
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01-09-2016, 07:38 PM #9
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01-09-2016, 07:44 PM #10
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01-09-2016, 07:45 PM #11
For a guy, that's in your favor. While it is true that women do have the potential to have higher standards compared to men, men become more appealing to younger (and more attractive and educated) girls as they become older, bearing that they are educated and am employed in an office/professional center (sorry, those types of jobs aren't always the most high paying but they do scream of intelligence and professionalism).
between 30-45 yrs old, men do become quite appealing. Of course, I tend to prefer my men older but as I've found out with most girls my age, that's a pretty common thing. And I don't have daddy issues, as my father has been wonderful. It's just that older guys come across as more competent and confident and smarter than younger guys, imo.
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01-09-2016, 08:00 PM #12
- Join Date: Oct 2012
- Location: Richardson, Texas, United States
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I've never had a problem with dating and finding women, but I can tell you this............it has been much easier for me in my 30's (I'm 35). Women in there early 20's want you because they see you as an established person that has a lot more to offer than guys her own age. They see the nice car, the house and the money and want to be part of it. The late 20's early 30's women have been easy for me as well because I'm still in shape, confident and dress well/professional.
Last edited by jeffl1980; 01-09-2016 at 08:06 PM.
▪█───█▪ Everybody wants to be a bodybuilder, but nobody want to lift no heavy-azz weights. ▪█───█▪
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01-09-2016, 08:14 PM #13
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01-09-2016, 08:16 PM #14
this is true, though not because of money or because you can directly give anything it's just that you're so...responsible and independent, I guess. And it seems like responsible men are wiser...
I mean, generally I don't really care for money and don't order a lot of things on a date (I've dated hedge fund mangers fyi, know the have money), but it's the fact that guys that are established tend to get me going. Poor professor? Still hot cuz you're smart and driven and unafraid to take risks.
ugh older men in general are a weak spot. As long as you're not blue collar you should be good.
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01-09-2016, 08:19 PM #15
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01-09-2016, 08:22 PM #16
You don't need to believe me. It's hard to find a man who has his sh*t together. Even now, my man has a serious drinking problem. Everything else on paper is great, but the booze is a serious issue. It fuks everything else up, in a bad way.
So no, I'm not settling. If I was interesting in settling, I'd have settled by now.
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01-09-2016, 08:58 PM #17
Fish in a barrel.
But for comittment, I am a picky mofo, and rightfully so as typically men and women this age are more set on what they want and need while having outside factors to consider, kids, finances, career, schedule, family, and on and on.*LEO crew*
*Alpha crew*
*Conservative crew*
*No Ma'am crew*
*Electric Guitar crew*
**always listen to your gut instinct**
~if you want prince charming, you better be a princess~
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01-09-2016, 09:14 PM #18
- Join Date: Jun 2013
- Location: Big Arm, Montana, United States
- Posts: 37,140
- Rep Power: 287538
O35 you have your pick of the hot single moms and women with dead end jobs, ie waitresses and bartenders and such.
It is much much more difficult to find a woman with no kids and a good career. Those are the unicorns...but for smashing lol. You can be with 2 or 3 different deseperate women a week if you want.Motorcycle crew
Army veteran crew
One Meal a day crew
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01-09-2016, 09:14 PM #19
Back in my old and miserable life.....I was never single before the age of 30, but became pickier about selecting guys based on looks between the ages of 34 and 44, thanks to cougar life.com and Tinder.
Now I'm on neither and am just voluntarilty celibate and working on myself, and deciding what to do with an unhappy, sexless marriage of 10 years.
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01-09-2016, 09:16 PM #20
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01-09-2016, 09:17 PM #21
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01-09-2016, 09:22 PM #22
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01-09-2016, 09:23 PM #23
Well right now I'm focused on recovering from major abdominal surgery, so it's not like I can go file and make a major decision. I got to get myself back to work (working from home now).
But cutting off men is just making me more aware of how miserable I am in my home, and depressing me to death. You mentioned 4 years, I know a lot of parents stay together for years for the sake of the kids, but they are unhappy.
Some put the money for divorce into marriage counseling and are much happier now. As you know it's not that easy to just break up with a spouse as you can with a college girlfriend or boyfriend. You still have to live with the person and negotiate the divorce, and figure out where to live and who gets custody. Live is so much easier in college.....sigh
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01-09-2016, 09:25 PM #24
My ex is 20, ex before her was 19. All the women my age (34) usually have issues.
I'll stick to the same stupid issues 18-23 girls bring because their usually hot. Finding a hot 30+ woman.... good luck.*Always pick 6 crew*
*Herniated disc crew*
*Ruptured disc crew*
*Sciatica for life crew*
*Tulsa Crew*
Bench: 405|DL: 405|Squat: 545
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01-09-2016, 09:25 PM #25
Yeah but you aren't paying their bills though, right?
I had several dates with good looking men over the age of 39 with careers last summer, but they said they didn't see me have an exit plan, and they wanted more than just FWB. Plus I said I only had one night a week to see a guy, and they said that wasn't enough.
Maybe if I was solely paying my own bills and on my own, I'd rather have a guy with money. I'm sure the "I have no money for gas" would get old.
Edit: my last two therapists said I was a love addict, not a sex addict. Sex addicts don't get attachment. I have fallen in love with my younger guys. FWB doesn't work for me.
This forum did help me overcome obsession for the guys. I haven't been obsessed with a guy in 2 years. But if I spend time with a man I find attractive, I will develop feelings for him.Last edited by deadliftbrah19; 01-09-2016 at 09:33 PM.
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01-09-2016, 09:31 PM #26
Adulthood is a bag of dicks.
But as long as you both prioritize the kids and don't use them as ammo you will be fine.
Heck I pay 1k a month in support and finances are tight but I am a hell of a lot happier! The guilt will dicipate, the kids will grow.
Now I don't want to derail so back on topic*LEO crew*
*Alpha crew*
*Conservative crew*
*No Ma'am crew*
*Electric Guitar crew*
**always listen to your gut instinct**
~if you want prince charming, you better be a princess~
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01-09-2016, 09:34 PM #27
Let me clue you crazy men into a little known fact....Do you know how boring a date with a lawyer is?! Omg shoot me now! Most guys with money are BORING LOL!! And doctors forget it! All they talk about it surgery and so-in-so's disease no thanx! So yea money is not the issue guys. Its behavior more then anything, grown ass men acting like 15yr olds. Here are some quotes from a really great article the men here who think you should date "younger" will never read.
Amelia, 28, wrote: "I see lots of men online over 35 who are looking for women 18-30. I wish they knew how big a turn-off that is. If you can't handle your peers, then you can't handle me."
"It's not that women our own age are less attractive, it's that they lack the culturally-based power to reassure our fragile, aging egos that we are still hot and hip and filled with potential." (written by a man btw)
Her sentiments jive with the OK Cupid data that shows that most women over 35 want to date men who are their same age. But that same data shows that men fight the same "slow slide" with frantic denial, a denial that manifests itself in a compulsive need to pursue women substantially younger than themselves, all the while pleading to be seen as atypical for their age. (Lmfao!)
and there you have it! Yall just got dissed btw.
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01-09-2016, 09:39 PM #28
- Join Date: Jun 2013
- Location: Big Arm, Montana, United States
- Posts: 37,140
- Rep Power: 287538
You aren't the kind of girl good looking guys with careers are attracted to. I wouldn't even talk to someone that looks/acts like you. I mean I would be nice but you are far from what I look for in a woman.
You are a good example of the kind of girl that young desperate guys with no options will hook up with.
Hookup girls are young, attractive, none too bright, crappy job, probably has a young kid or three. Strippers, bartenders, waitresses for the most part.
Girls I seriously date are usually older, established career, financially secure. I don't mind if they aren't super cute as long as they have their chit together.
I never date MARRIED women or women who have a ton of guy friends. If they aren't single I want no part of them, not even for a hookup. I also won't date anyone with obvious mental health problems.Motorcycle crew
Army veteran crew
One Meal a day crew
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01-09-2016, 09:47 PM #29
What about if I'm in a highly-paid blue-collar occupation?
between 30-45 yrs old, men do become quite appealing. Of course, I tend to prefer my men older but as I've found out with most girls my age, that's a pretty common thing. And I don't have daddy issues, as my father has been wonderful. It's just that older guys come across as more competent and confident and smarter than younger guys, imo.Ad astra per aspera
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01-09-2016, 09:51 PM #30
How I behave on here, and how I behave IRL are two totally different things. I'm actually pretty quiet and shy IRL.
A lot of the guys I have dated have had very attractive young girlfriends. They just like that I lift, that I'm nicer, etc. One would just want to talk about his bodybuilding career all of the time. He couldn't do that with his ex-girlfriend who was pretty, but didn't know a barbell from a dumbbell.
My husband is a good looking guy with a great career, he just doesn't like lifting at all and I like muscles. I've tried to make a compromise but he says "those who lift have no imagination", so he's thin and fast as a runner, and that is important to him. I wouldn't want him to lift just to increase my attraction.
and so were these guys who took me out. They just could see that I was still attached to my husband in some way so they figured why bother. And honestly they all had some major baggage too, so it just made me decide that well pretty much everyone over 30 has some baggage, it's just whether you are willing to deal with it or not.
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