Anyone here violently abused by parents growing up? How has it affected you today? Do you hate them? Are you bitter? Does it make you different from those who have not been beaten?
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04-21-2009, 08:02 AM #1
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04-21-2009, 08:05 AM #2
- Join Date: Mar 2009
- Location: Massachusetts, United States
- Age: 32
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I posted this in another thread:
My relationship with my parents is about as bad as you can get it. I was child abused when I was young. Beat with shoes, belts. Tied up behind my back and legs with neck ties. Locked out of the house in the winter in Massachusetts. Had tables and chairs thrown at me, where I still have scars on my face and body.
One memory I remember especially was when I accidently knocked over my father's dinner to the ground. I was crying in fear. He came to my room, and told me "you little b*tch, stop crying".
"I'm sorry, please."
He proceeded to tell me to stop crying, and when I didn't, he kicked me full force seven times in the ribs. Note my dad is a police officer, and was a pretty strong guy. My dad also loves to hit me on the head, because that is "where it hurts".
My mom has starved me on several occasions because I was bad. This was when I was a child who didn't know how to cook. My mom has choked me before. She has used pots and pans as weapons. She always tells me what a failure I am, and how useless I am. How she wishes I were flushed down the toilet when I was a baby, or how she wishes she would have had an abortion with me.
Just this last Thanksgiving, she left me stranded in Boston. I had 50 cents, no phone. I walked home, which took me 6 hours. (10 miles away- 26 degree weather) When I went home, she still called me a piece of ****, and everything.
Child services had come to my house to review the family. My parents basically threatened me if I ever said anything bad about them. Being 11, I believed their BS. Had I had the chance again back then, I would have told child services otherwise.
There's much more in my life that I have endured. Because of my parents I have been socially awkward, and very held-back, yet aggressive. I have so much built in anger, that I randomly have outlashes.
Cliffs:
-Parents beat me with chairs, tables, pots and pans.
-Parents would tie be up until I was submissive using neck ties
-I have have permanent scars to my head, face, and body
-Dad would use full force and kick me in the ribs seven times on xmas eve
- Mom always tells me how much of a piece of **** I am everyday, and how I'm a failure. (wishes she had an abortion on me)
- Thanksgiving 2008, I had to walk home from Boston (10 miles, 26 degrees)
Yes I definitely hate my parents. Once I'm 18, I hope that I will not go in contact with them again, maybe except for my dad. And because of my parents my social life since the beginning has been awkward. I am very shy, but once people get to know me, I talk A LOT. But if someone just messes with me the wrong way, I can have big violent outbursts (which I have tamed down now, but was a problem for me when I was younger). It seems like if I tell anyone my story in real life, it just comes back to hurt me, because they make fun of me for it, and then i beat them up, and then i lose friends.Last edited by Chauboy; 04-21-2009 at 08:07 AM.
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04-21-2009, 08:07 AM #3
- Join Date: Oct 2006
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I got ass whoopins on the regular and I think it made me violent. I never once did something wrong, got my ass beat, then regretting doing what I did. I was only mad I got caught and even more pissed off that I got beat. I would take my anger out on other kids. The way I saw it was "my mom is mad at me because of what I did so she beat me", "I am mad at this kid for what he did or said to me so I'm going to beat him!".
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04-21-2009, 08:08 AM #4
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04-21-2009, 08:09 AM #5
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04-21-2009, 08:10 AM #6
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04-21-2009, 08:11 AM #7
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04-21-2009, 08:11 AM #8
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04-21-2009, 08:11 AM #9
- Join Date: Feb 2008
- Location: Glasgow, Scotland, United Kingdom (Great Britain)
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End well, this will not!
"If you want to get your face beaten and well smashed, your ass kicked, and your arms broken, contact Carlos Gracie at this address..." - Brazillian newspaper ad circa 1920 - Now THATS alpha!!!
My whipped ice dairy drink brings the attention of many males to my place of residence and/ or employment, and they declare that its quality far surpasses that of yours. Absolutely, it far surpasses yours. I could convey to you the recipe, but i would have to demand compensation.
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04-21-2009, 08:11 AM #10
The only memories I have of my dad growing up are getting thrown up against a wall one time he went to hit me but I moved out of the way and he broke his hand. I don't know why he was so angry we get a long fine now but I hated him more than anything growing up. I still shake when someone raises there hand and I have anger issues now, but I'm pretty good now. I've been in three fights in my life and I've been told when I fight I have a look in my eyes like the devils inside me and I go crazy, it just lets all the rage out of me
RaPe BAcK
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04-21-2009, 08:13 AM #11
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04-21-2009, 08:14 AM #12
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04-21-2009, 08:14 AM #13
- Join Date: Mar 2009
- Location: Massachusetts, United States
- Age: 32
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04-21-2009, 08:16 AM #14
- Join Date: Oct 2006
- Location: United States
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Looking back though, I'm glad I got beatings and it made me violent. I wasn't so violent that I was mugging people or committing those types of crimes but I wouldn't dream of letting someone put their hands on me. I wasn't a push over and I never once got bullied in school. It was the non-violent kids that usually ended up as victims.
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04-21-2009, 08:16 AM #15
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04-21-2009, 08:16 AM #16
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04-21-2009, 08:16 AM #17
Ya man it sucks I've had some things said to me by my dad that still make me tear up to this day. I've tried to talk to him about it, but he doesn't want to bring up the past. He quit hitting me after we got in a full on brawl. He is a big guy to and use to teach self defense classes and can fight like no other, but I just snapped and said if you ever touch me again you better sleep with your eyes open because I'll kill youRaPe BAcK
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04-21-2009, 08:16 AM #18
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04-21-2009, 08:18 AM #19
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04-21-2009, 08:20 AM #20
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04-21-2009, 08:22 AM #21
I had been beaten as a child. I grew up pretty angry/depressed, suicidal all that jazz.
I've grown up a lot and I think it made me a stronger person oddly in the end .I've forgiven my father for a lot of that but I will never be close to him.Everyone knows rusted screws on a bike means that you probably drove it underwater and that's bad ass in itself.
http://changewithchange.blogspot.com/
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04-21-2009, 08:24 AM #22
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04-21-2009, 08:25 AM #23
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04-21-2009, 08:26 AM #24
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04-21-2009, 08:26 AM #25
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04-21-2009, 08:28 AM #26
A lot of people had it worse than I,
but for those of you in similar situations, did you find yourself stepping up to save your siblings/mom some beatings?Everyone knows rusted screws on a bike means that you probably drove it underwater and that's bad ass in itself.
http://changewithchange.blogspot.com/
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04-21-2009, 08:30 AM #27
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04-21-2009, 08:30 AM #28
- Join Date: Mar 2009
- Location: Massachusetts, United States
- Age: 32
- Posts: 1,139
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Oh, I definitely have thought about suicide more than once. I thought that well since my life isn't valued right now, maybe if I die people will truly know how much they miss me, or that my parents would have to live with knowing they are the reasons for my death.
My life has gotten really bad when I basically lost my school friends. Since when you usually have problems with parents, you escape with your friends and forget about stuff with your parents. For me, I can't because my school friends aren't there.
And I would meet other people, but I have no car because my mom wouldn't let me get my drivers permit, let alone license. And I live in the middle of no where. (nothing walking distance)
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04-21-2009, 08:31 AM #29
I seem like i'd be more outgoing but i'm just a big softie. Takes alot for me to stand up to my dad. I've shat myself at his rage fits ever since i could open my eyes. Still freaks the **** outta me today.
He's been insane many times, despite being an academic. I once punched him back and during christmas when i was 12 - he told my grandma that I hit him. Now i;m the blacksheep on his side of the family.Anna spelt backwards is Anna. Coincidence? I think NOT! - EclipseTT
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04-21-2009, 08:31 AM #30
- Join Date: Mar 2009
- Location: Massachusetts, United States
- Age: 32
- Posts: 1,139
- Rep Power: 552
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