[SRS] Depression Discussion and Support Thread Part III

[2RDEYE]

What if someone told you it is not the anxiety?

Have you ever viewed your negative emotions as a result of your thinking in the moment just like blood is the result of physical damage in the moment? If you pick at a wound ... it keeps bleeding. If you pick at certain thoughts... you keep getting negative emotions.

yeah i think part of it is depression goggles. but there's no way to get rid of it. well i've had it since i was a kid. i don't think i can get out of it. like it's so hard to get out of the mindset, i've been through so much. childhood was worse than hell, where i thought of suicide every single day, straight up gave up on life when i was 10, late teens was atrocious god damn terrible, adult life is ****ing terrible ****ing chit on my early 20's already. i've been through what maybe 12 chit jobs already. school i was a fuking failure every time. it would be nice if i had some times where things went right, so maybe i would have some motivation, but i don't.

[faxanadu]

yeah i think part of it is depression goggles. but there's no way to get rid of it. well i've had it since i was a kid. i don't think i can get out of it. like it's so hard to get out of the mindset, i've been through so much. childhood was worse than hell, where i thought of suicide every single day, straight up gave up on life when i was 10, late teens was atrocious god damn terrible, adult life is ****ing terrible ****ing chit on my early 20's already. i've been through what maybe 12 chit jobs already. school i was a fuking failure every time. it would be nice if i had some times where things went right, so maybe i would have some motivation, but i don't.

I just asked an open-ended thought provoking question about anxiety. You had 9 words where you explored the idea. The other 124 words in your paragraph were self mutilation. Can you explore the idea some more and leave out the self-mutilation?

What if someone told you it is not the anxiety? Have you ever viewed your negative emotions as a result of your thinking in the moment just like blood is the result of physical damage in the moment?

[eod8989]

Sexual frustration might be just about as bad as loneliness. Since I haven't had much sex in the last 1.5 years I've felt really ****ty and depressed, and unable to concentrate. Loneliness and sexual frustration are like a double edge sword just beating me every day.

[faxanadu]

Sexual frustration might be just about as bad as loneliness. Since I haven't had much sex in the last 1.5 years I've felt really ****ty and depressed, and unable to concentrate. Loneliness and sexual frustration are like a double edge sword just beating me every day.

This guy hasn't had sex in the 70+ years he's been alive and doesn't seem very depressed about it...

[eod8989]

This guy hasn't had sex in the 70+ years he's been alive and doesn't seem very depressed about it...

He must be low test. And probably coping.

[faxanadu]

He must be low test. And probably coping.

Ya, there's a lot of that going around. Every prepubescent boy in the world must be depressed.

[Fishoilman]

Ya, there's a lot of that going around. Every prepubescent boy in the world must be depressed.

We're all a victim of our thoughts and imaginations. It's why you have people sad and happy at every socioeconomic class. Stoicism can save a lot of people in this forum srs.

[eod8989]

Ya, there's a lot of that going around. Every prepubescent boy in the world must be depressed.

Can't really compare a young boy to a full grown man in this context. Kids aren't usually depressed because they haven't become aware, or faced the harsh reality of life.

[KingofLifts]

Any of you depressed brah's eating well by any chance? It's weird, but micro nutrients might help because some of y'all might be deficient.

[KRANE]

We're all a victim of our thoughts and imaginations. It's why you have people sad and happy at every socioeconomic class. Stoicism can save a lot of people in this forum srs.

I think finding your place in life, or in this world would help.

[faxanadu]

We're all a victim of our thoughts and imaginations. It's why you have people sad and happy at every socioeconomic class. Stoicism can save a lot of people in this forum srs.

Well said. Reps.

[Fishoilman]

I think finding your place in life, or in this world would help.

What you perceive as progression in the world will definitely help but I think understanding these emotions we have while sometimes unavoidable are usually controllable is an important part of it for people in this thread specifically. If you read through the previous depression threads you'll notice a lot of users are debilitated by their feelings. It's hard to progress anywhere when you are stuck in that cycle of anxiety and self pity.

[faxanadu]

Can't really compare a young boy to a full grown man in this context. Kids aren't usually depressed because they haven't become aware, or faced the harsh reality of life.

Actually you can. There are hundreds of millions of kids in the world that live in complete chit holes that aren't depressed.

What I've been trying to show you is you live in fallacy after fallacy. You keep laying all your issues on external things to protect yourself from the truth. The truth is, your thoughts and nothing more are the source of all your problems. You lay blame on lack of sex ... well there are tens of millions of male virgins out there that disagree with you. You lay blame on your douche boss and suck job ... once again there are tens of millions out there that prove that wrong. It's not everyone and everything else ... it's you and your thoughts. You keep this entire charade going so you don't have to accept that fact.

I dated a girl once that suffered from bulimia and anorexia. I threw everything i had into being there for her. One of the most interesting things that i came to learn is that she had names (alter egos) for both disorders. I thought that was the most peculiar thing. It wasn't her problem ... it was "nickname". She laid all the control outside of her identified self. She couldn't (more like wouldn't) do anything to help herself because the problem wasn't her... it was "nickname". What I've learned since then is that everyone does similar things to varying degrees; like you and sex/boss/job. For a decent amount of time after that relationship with that chick ... i was a mess. Then, i realized something one day. People and the world we choose to linger around ... it's a reflection of our inner self. I saw some part of me in that gal. I chose her. So then i asked myself the question, "What does that say about me and my beliefs?" Around that time i started to see things much differently. Not long after i stopped doing everything everyone else wanted me to do... followed my heart... and did my AT hike. It was an amazing experience which broke so many mental barriers for me. However, the journey continues. I still have old bullchit that wants to popup in my head and drag me to dark places. Now though... i understand that it is just bullchit.

Interesting thing about alter egos. I've seen people leverage them in what seems to be a positive way. The most recent example i heard of was David Goggins (Navy Seal, Ironman, Badwater Ultra, etc). He had an alter ego that he would switch to that was tough as chit. That could out perform and conquer anything. I guess it worked because he just might be the baddest dude on the planet.

[faxanadu]

I think finding your place in life, or in this world would help.

This is true, but in order to find that people have to sack up, stop listening to the bullchit in their head, and explore other possibilities. If people believe they can't do something... that is exactly why they must do it. Not to win a prize or a lot of money... no... to unphuck their own limiting beliefs.

I can't, therefore I must.

Sitting in a cubicle crying about first world life... does fuk-all to fix limiting beliefs and help people find a place in life. People stuck in that endless thought loop, best thing they can do is find one physical task, that can be completed in one day, that they think is ridiculous and have never attempted, and go do it. Simply walking 26 miles at the local park for most people would do wonders with their mental state.

Damn, I'm feeling pumped now.

[KRANE]

What you perceive as progression in the world will definitely help but I think understanding these emotions we have while sometimes unavoidable are usually controllable is an important part of it for people in this thread specifically. If you read through the previous depression threads you'll notice a lot of users are debilitated by their feelings. It's hard to progress anywhere when you are stuck in that cycle of anxiety and self pity.

I think a lot of these people spend way too much time fixating on things and about issues they can't change. My point is, stop fixating of the thing that should have been and make the changes to your life that you can. How can you claims you're lonely when the world is full of people? If you're lonely get up, go out and meet people. If they don't talk to you, talk to them even if it's only just to say hello. Most people who say they're lonely just have low self-esteem.

[faxanadu]

I think a lot of these people spend way too much time fixating on things and about issues they can't change. My point is, stop fixating of the thing that should have been and make the changes to your life that you can. How can you claims you're lonely when the world is full of people? If you're lonely get up, go out and meet people. If they don't talk to you, talk to them even if it's only just to say hello. Most people who say they're lonely just have low self-esteem.

What I've seen in this thread so far is mostly a pity party. A misery loves company thing. I jumped into this thread hoping to get ideas on improving myself, instead it's been mostly pity post after pity post.

It is refreshing to see you and fishoilman bringing some spice to this thread. Reps when i can.

[eod8989]

Actually you can. There are hundreds of millions of kids in the world that live in complete chit holes that aren't depressed.

What I've been trying to show you is you live in fallacy after fallacy. You keep laying all your issues on external things to protect yourself from the truth. The truth is, your thoughts and nothing more are the source of all your problems. You lay blame on lack of sex ... well there are tens of millions of male virgins out there that disagree with you. You lay blame on your douche boss and suck job ... once again there are tens of millions out there that prove that wrong. It's not everyone and everything else ... it's you and your thoughts. You keep this entire charade going so you don't have to accept that fact.

I dated a girl once that suffered from bulimia and anorexia. I threw everything i had into being there for her. One of the most interesting things that i came to learn is that she had names (alter egos) for both disorders. I thought that was the most peculiar thing. It wasn't her problem ... it was "nickname". She laid all the control outside of her identified self. She couldn't (more like wouldn't) do anything to help herself because the problem wasn't her... it was "nickname". What I've learned since then is that everyone does similar things to varying degrees; like you and sex/boss/job. For a decent amount of time after that relationship with that chick ... i was a mess. Then, i realized something one day. People and the world we choose to linger around ... it's a reflection of our inner self. I saw some part of me in that gal. I chose her. So then i asked myself the question, "What does that say about me and my beliefs?" Around that time i started to see things much differently. Not long after i stopped doing everything everyone else wanted me to do... followed my heart... and did my AT hike. It was an amazing experience which broke so many mental barriers for me. However, the journey continues. I still have old bullchit that wants to popup in my head and drag me to dark places. Now though... i understand that it is just bullchit.

Interesting thing about alter egos. I've seen people leverage them in what seems to be a positive way. The most recent example i heard of was David Goggins (Navy Seal, Ironman, Badwater Ultra, etc). He had an alter ego that he would switch to that was tough as chit. That could out perform and conquer anything. I guess it worked because he just might be the baddest dude on the planet.

I know for a fact the job i am at ****ed my head up. The rest i will mostly agree on, my thoughts are all ****ed up from my depressive state. If i could find a way to reverse them, or find my old way of thinking i would be much better off. But that person cannot be found. I don't know who i am anymore, and that is what sucks.

[faxanadu]

I know for a fact the job i am at ****ed my head up. The rest i will mostly agree on, my thoughts are all ****ed up from my depressive state. If i could find a way to reverse them, or find my old way of thinking i would be much better off. But that person cannot be found. I don't know who i am anymore, and that is what sucks.

So leave your job and go find yourself. What is the problem here?

It's really very simple. You go to your boss tomorrow, tell him your done. Go back home ... google some crazy chit you've never done before... hop in your car and go. Lots of people in Florida right now that could use some free help.

[faxanadu]

Very interesting video i just saw. Might help some of the people in this thread not to take their BS thoughts so seriously...

[BigTimePlayer]

That's because you're fixated on one girl with there's a billion more where she came from. Weap for a moment if you have to then dust yourself off and move on.

The saying is old but there's too many fish in the sea to let one girl get you down. One more thing, do you think she's wallowing in depression over losing you?

Yeah, I know. I messed up by focusing on one girl & it destroyed me for a few days. I've been doing much better with this today though. I thought about her a little bit but not that much. I just need to find a woman that will actually like me. The positive of this all is that it at least it let me get some dating experience under my belt. It just seems so difficult today though to meet someone where's there a mutual like for one another. It always seems it's a case of it being one sided which makes it so difficult to meet anyone today. I don't know what a lot of these women want out of a guy. They're looking for something very specific & it's just weird how so many guys are able to get these women to be their g/fs. I just don't know how they get these women to become their g/fs when it just seems so difficult today to have one.

Edit: Actually talking to some 42 year old right now. Seems she wants something serious though. But I may at least meet her to at least go on a date with her to gain some more dating experience. So I pretty much moved on from that other girl now. Just need to meet some new women.

[2RDEYE]

really regretting giving up on school. i think if i were on antidepressants before then i wouldn't have quit so fast. i actually think it made a huge difference in just 5 days, still get the same anxious and negative thoughts, but it's like easier to cope a little, seems that way at least. still just sitting at home thinking what should i do.

[theRealGriNC]

really regretting giving up on school. i think if i were on antidepressants before then i wouldn't have quit so fast. i actually think it made a huge difference in just 5 days, still get the same anxious and negative thoughts, but it's like easier to cope a little, seems that way at least. still just sitting at home thinking what should i do.

yea when I took them i felt better the first week.

[2RDEYE]

yea when I took them i felt better the first week.

it's very interesting. i had two migraines after the first two pills, and then after that i started to feel different. like i could smile again. before i took the antidepressants, i felt my body forgot how to smile or wouldn't.

thinking about going back to the warehouse job i had, good idea?

edit: seems they dont have a position open right now. i'm actually relieved.

[eod8989]

I just don't know how to casually talk to ppl. I have to be doing something

[eod8989]

The only thing I will say to anyone at work
is something negative so there's no point in me talking.

[WSG1]

Honestly, If someone put $300k in my hands right now, I would buy a little shack out in the middle of nowhere in Montana or something and just live off the grid the rest of my life. I would be way more happy and content. The reason why i can never truly get better if because i have to be forced to work at a job every day with people i legit cant stand the sight of and have to chase around things that dont matter in the grand scheme of things in order to be "approved" by complete strangers.

[eod8989]

All i think about is sex, and i can't concentrate anymore. Been bulking for over 7 months and i just feel like an animal. Like i need sex every day.

[faxanadu]

Honestly, If someone put $300k in my hands right now, I would buy a little shack out in the middle of nowhere in Montana or something and just live off the grid the rest of my life. I would be way more happy and content. The reason why i can never truly get better if because i have to be forced to work at a job every day with people i legit cant stand the sight of and have to chase around things that dont matter in the grand scheme of things in order to be "approved" by complete strangers.

Dude, you do not need $300k to live like that. You can buy a decent cargo van on craigslist for 5K and live in it for less than 10K a year. You could spend a year backpacking southeast asia for 10-15K. You can bike pack the entire USA for a year on less than 5K.

If you live in the USA, don't pay child support, aren't extremely handicap, or have some crazy circumstance ... rotting in a job you hate is completely your choice.

[TheWeeknd4Ever]

I have a second coffee with a high up at a big bank tomorrow. May or may not lead to a job.. I dunno. First one went well, got a referral to another one of the high ups. Don't want to get my hopes up but i hope it goes well and it turns into something..

[faxanadu]

I have a second coffee with a high up at a big bank tomorrow. May or may not lead to a job.. I dunno. First one went well, got a referral to another one of the high ups. Don't want to get my hopes up but i hope it goes well and it turns into something..

You made me think of this...

https://trainingwithmovies.com/the-great-paradox/

Socrates: Well, the whole trip here, you were excited, you were happy.
Dan: Yeah, because I thought I was gonna see something.
Socrates: You were like a kid on Christmas morning. You said so yourself. The whole trip up here, it made you feel good.
Dan: Because for the past three hours I’ve been waiting to see this wonderful thing.
Socrates: Well, what changed?
Dan: That there’s nothing here but this rock!
Socrates: I probably should have told you that before we left, huh? But I guess I wasn’t sure what we’d find either. Never am. Sorry you’re not happy anymore.
Dan: The journey. The journey’s what brings us happiness not the destination.