[SRS] Depression Discussion and Support Thread Part III

[2RDEYE]

anybody else in my position in life? i feel so alone as a 25 y/o with no education or professional career. no matter what i can't stop feeling like a miserable failure. it ****ing sucks. everyone is telling me at my age, i should have moved out, i should be married, i should have a car, i should have a real career, i should be an "adult." it keeps beating me down. so tempted to just go back to drugs and say fuk it, if i'm a loser then so be it.

i already gave up on doing my math prerequisites. i don't have the willpower for it while working as well.

well my goals for today are to apply to school again i guess. i think i might just try some go with the flow thing again. like apply for a program then try my best to stick it out. so ****in miserable. like if i could change my life within a year, i think that'd be fine, but school is like 2-4+ years. i'd have to sacrifice income for that many years

[Smashiin]

I'm on disability for my mental Illness. Right now I couldn't work around people if my life depended on it or go to school. If it wasn't for my family I'd be out on the street or I would've blown my brains out a long time ago. I attempted suicide after my grandfather died. I did it for more reasons than just that. But, that was it for me, when he died. Now, this Tuesday February 20th will make 5 years since he's passed. He's been on my mind a lot. I've been crying a lot lately over him. He was both my father/grandfather because my real father was never around when I was growing up. I watched him die that night in the hospital. But, a day or 2 before I actually made my grandfather laugh, who was dying. I haven't seen him smile in years up to that point. I'm proud of myself for being able to make him smile one last time.

Grandpop I love you. RIP.

[salamisalem]

Trying to not be a downer in this thread but lately I just feel so sick of everything I've been doing. All my friends are fake, and my relationships always fail. I feel so fatigued and sick of everything. Can't seem to snap out of it. Thought gym was going well but now I feel don't actually look as good as I thought. Idk, and advice bros? I don't enjoy or care about anything anymore. Only time I feel decent is when I'm hanging out with people, whether they're fake or not and this scares me b/c does that mean I'm just scared to be alone or what. Or when I'm drinking. I think I'm going to start drugs because that's the only other way I feel I can carry on. And not weed, weed is stupid

I just wanted to quote this to follow up. I feel great now and am back on track completely. Thanks so much my bros. without guys like Krane and defensiveend and all you other amazing dudes I would've been so ****ed up right now. Might not even be alive. But I stopped drinking and chasing toxic women and people and am back on track working and improving myself. Thanks so much. I will continue to visit this thread and continue helping other bruhs. We're all gonna make it. And yeah I'm bipolar so who knows where I'll be in 6 months mentally but till then fuk it im gonna keep my goals in mind and just work as hard as I can.

Much love and reps

[salamisalem]

I'm not sure exactly how or why but my mood has improved 100%! I felt great when I got up today and my mind was full of clarity and alertness. I typically feel miserable like everything's closing in on me and its hard to concentrate.

Maybe it was a good nights sleep? Maybe the megga vit D I was prescribed and/or Blackseed oil I'm taking is kicking in? Maybe a combination of all of the above. But for now, for right now, I feel on top of the world and have a positive outlook about my future. At the moment, I feel like I could accomplish anything. I just hope it lasts.

In other news, I unfortunately didn't get the consul I needed from my financial advisor as their office was closed for internal business. I did however get an appointment set for next Tuesday. Sometimes things work out, sometimes they don't. But at least I can say I made an effort.

I was even able to get in a workout at the end of the day. Now I can say I did everything I could do. Have a great President's Day weekend everyone.

This is fantastic man, glad to hear it. FYI I started taking a high dose of vitamin D recently too and have also had a lot of clarity and mood improvement. Been looking for new work and been getting rejected but able to keep trying and keep it in perspective! Happy Presidents Day weekend

anybody else in my position in life? i feel so alone as a 25 y/o with no education or professional career. no matter what i can't stop feeling like a miserable failure. it ****ing sucks. everyone is telling me at my age, i should have moved out, i should be married, i should have a car, i should have a real career, i should be an "adult." it keeps beating me down. so tempted to just go back to drugs and say fuk it, if i'm a loser then so be it.

i already gave up on doing my math prerequisites. i don't have the willpower for it while working as well.

well my goals for today are to apply to school again i guess. i think i might just try some go with the flow thing again. like apply for a program then try my best to stick it out. so ****in miserable. like if i could change my life within a year, i think that'd be fine, but school is like 2-4+ years. i'd have to sacrifice income for that many years

You are NOT a failure. I don't think you realize how young we are man. You have so much time to go to school and get a home etc. look if you can't handle be math right now I totally understand. But apply and at least take 1 course, whether it's English or anything. Just getting comfortable with any bit of school can let you get started. Don't think of the 4 or 2 years in front of you. Just the one course, take it one semester at a time. You've got this

I'm on disability for my mental Illness. Right now I couldn't work around people if my life depended on it or go to school. If it wasn't for my family I'd be out on the street or I would've blown my brains out a long time ago. I attempted suicide after my grandfather died. I did it for more reasons than just that. But, that was it for me, when he died. Now, this Tuesday February 20th will make 5 years since he's passed. He's been on my mind a lot. I've been crying a lot lately over him. He was both my father/grandfather because my real father was never around when I was growing up. I watched him die that night in the hospital. But, a day or 2 before I actually made my grandfather laugh, who was dying. I haven't seen him smile in years up to that point. I'm proud of myself for being able to make him smile one last time.

Grandpop I love you. RIP.

My man that's such a beautiful memory. I think it says a lot about you that you could bring happiness to him after years. That's a rare quality, remember it. You're gonna get through this. Fuk the past. I totally get not being able to work because of mental illness, believe me. But it won't keep you trapped forever, just gotta take little steps. Maybe start reading, then doing a hobby you enjoy- for me it was lifting and martial arts. Then I finally was able to start working just a little now. One step at a time my bro, you're gonna get through this. If I can you can.

[PeptideY]

anybody else in my position in life? i feel so alone as a 25 y/o with no education or professional career. no matter what i can't stop feeling like a miserable failure. it ****ing sucks. everyone is telling me at my age, i should have moved out, i should be married, i should have a car, i should have a real career, i should be an "adult." it keeps beating me down. so tempted to just go back to drugs and say fuk it, if i'm a loser then so be it.

i already gave up on doing my math prerequisites. i don't have the willpower for it while working as well.

well my goals for today are to apply to school again i guess. i think i might just try some go with the flow thing again. like apply for a program then try my best to stick it out. so ****in miserable. like if i could change my life within a year, i think that'd be fine, but school is like 2-4+ years. i'd have to sacrifice income for that many years

Should? There is no reason to blinding follow social norms especially given how counter productive or flat out retarded they can be.

Why blow away tens of thousands of dollars on weddings, cars, unnecessary separate housing when that money would be more desirable for others things in the long-term.

There is no need to self burden to appease others.

As for career it's useful way to get money or talent but not the only way.
The richest people are those who can look outside the box.

And even then money isn't everything they are others things that matter even more for long-term happiness like heath.

We all have our strengths and weaknesses.
Most unfortunately can't even take care of their own fitness.

[IronMonkey]

Been beasting at the gym past week, started with 5 lb plates on each side - (10 lbs) for Front Squat, Overhead Press, Deadlift... doing lat pull downs, pull ups and chin ups, and ab work. Hit 35 lbs today... been going every other day steadily increasing lifts by 5 lbs and doing a few extra moves after the main lifts... I think my emotions have been coming alive, confidence has been slightly building, it's funny how at home I look in the mirror and look slightly big and then at the gym I'm like the smallest guy there **** lol

Keep at it guys!!!

Question, anyone been supplemented with 5-HTP and good results ? I have some from a long time ago and wondering if I should start it up.

[IronMonkey]

anybody else in my position in life? i feel so alone as a 25 y/o with no education or professional career. no matter what i can't stop feeling like a miserable failure. it ****ing sucks. everyone is telling me at my age, i should have moved out, i should be married, i should have a car, i should have a real career, i should be an "adult." it keeps beating me down. so tempted to just go back to drugs and say fuk it, if i'm a loser then so be it.

i already gave up on doing my math prerequisites. i don't have the willpower for it while working as well.

well my goals for today are to apply to school again i guess. i think i might just try some go with the flow thing again. like apply for a program then try my best to stick it out. so ****in miserable. like if i could change my life within a year, i think that'd be fine, but school is like 2-4+ years. i'd have to sacrifice income for that many years

You're 25 bro. Stop thinking like this. I'm 28 and I have nothing, I went from something to complete nothing. It's thanks to drugs that I caught a stupid ass case and I got locked up from August 2016 (26 years old) to February of this year (28 years old) ... I would kill to be 25 right now, and fresh the way I am right now, and sober. Drugs are WORTHLESS bro. You have no idea how bad I reflected during all my time, and how many times I had tears flow at night when the lights went off and I was to myself, reflecting on HOW I let this happen, how stupid could I have possibly been to want throw away precious time away from the friends I (used to) have, and my (still) supportive family ... the world is so beautiful, so marvelous, the universe is unlimited and works to our benefit if we have our mind focused on that one thing we want so bad, we have SO much to see, I'm getting teary eyed honestly ****ing writing this... SUCCEED bro, you will succeed. DO NOT listen to anybody's criticism or judgement about your place in life right now.

You have no idea how miserable I felt knowing that I ... as it seems, pretty much threw my 20s away (even tho 2 years left til I hit 30) on the stupidest ****, spending time with people who aren't going nowhere or have no way to better me... threw money away, so much money, on things that DO NOT matter and will not bring me in more money, instead of spending time studying investing and forex for example (I used to), I was getting high thinking I'm a better person when I'm high and that anxiety is a joke and this is the way I should TRULY be feeling, like God... when really I Was a PIECE OF SH.T who only knew how to party and socialize under the influence.

It hurts man, I don't wanna elaborate any further I hate thinking like this, of this... but look, we all mess up, but can we stand back up? Can we admit we were wrong, and let the past TEACH us instead of depressingly hinder us and keep us locked in our thoughts without being able to move forward?

I also wanna apply for school again, for the first time in my life, I WANT TO BE IN CLASS learning something new and writing a ****ing 5 page report on it. I want to build new neurons and brain cells and stimulate my analytical thinking process. Knowledge is power. And there's no way to have a great open mind than learning about new things and seeing things for a different perspective to help further you in your journey to happiness and hopefully financial freedom, and private islands and shat

Let's do this bro. Don't give up. And never ever quit the gym. One thing I noticed, is when your fitness is in place, the rest of your world falls into place too. From my experience... but what do I know... I'm also back at square one.

[DefensiveEnd896]

I just wanted to quote this to follow up. I feel great now and am back on track completely. Thanks so much my bros. without guys like Krane and defensiveend and all you other amazing dudes I would've been so ****ed up right now. Might not even be alive. But I stopped drinking and chasing toxic women and people and am back on track working and improving myself. Thanks so much. I will continue to visit this thread and continue helping other bruhs. We're all gonna make it. And yeah I'm bipolar so who knows where I'll be in 6 months mentally but till then fuk it im gonna keep my goals in mind and just work as hard as I can.

Much love and reps

Great to hear you are doing well man. If I ever up make it up your way we will have to grab a beer. I don't drink but you know what I mean lol.

anybody else in my position in life? i feel so alone as a 25 y/o with no education or professional career. no matter what i can't stop feeling like a miserable failure. it ****ing sucks. everyone is telling me at my age, i should have moved out, i should be married, i should have a car, i should have a real career, i should be an "adult." it keeps beating me down. so tempted to just go back to drugs and say fuk it, if i'm a loser then so be it.

i already gave up on doing my math prerequisites. i don't have the willpower for it while working as well.

well my goals for today are to apply to school again i guess. i think i might just try some go with the flow thing again. like apply for a program then try my best to stick it out. so ****in miserable. like if i could change my life within a year, i think that'd be fine, but school is like 2-4+ years. i'd have to sacrifice income for that many years

Tons of good advice on here so the only real advice I have to add is to always try and stay positive. Try your best to look at life as the glass half full, not half empty.

Now you are going to get negative thoughts. That happens. I realize this. But don't listen to them. If you are going to listen to them let it motivate you to work harder, lift harder, try harder etc. Don't let those thoughts get you down. Use them to become a better you.

When I go through bad times in life I go into high berserk mode and attack the problems/bad thoughts with everything I've got. I suggest you do the same. Whatever you do don't let those thoughts get you down. Use them to get you up!

[2RDEYE]

slept the whole ****ing day, like willpower is dead right now.

You're 25 bro. Stop thinking like this. I'm 28 and I have nothing, I went from something to complete nothing. It's thanks to drugs that I caught a stupid ass case and I got locked up from August 2016 (26 years old) to February of this year (28 years old) ... I would kill to be 25 right now, and fresh the way I am right now, and sober. Drugs are WORTHLESS bro. You have no idea how bad I reflected during all my time, and how many times I had tears flow at night when the lights went off and I was to myself, reflecting on HOW I let this happen, how stupid could I have possibly been to want throw away precious time away from the friends I (used to) have, and my (still) supportive family ... the world is so beautiful, so marvelous, the universe is unlimited and works to our benefit if we have our mind focused on that one thing we want so bad, we have SO much to see, I'm getting teary eyed honestly ****ing writing this... SUCCEED bro, you will succeed. DO NOT listen to anybody's criticism or judgement about your place in life right now.

You have no idea how miserable I felt knowing that I ... as it seems, pretty much threw my 20s away (even tho 2 years left til I hit 30) on the stupidest ****, spending time with people who aren't going nowhere or have no way to better me... threw money away, so much money, on things that DO NOT matter and will not bring me in more money, instead of spending time studying investing and forex for example (I used to), I was getting high thinking I'm a better person when I'm high and that anxiety is a joke and this is the way I should TRULY be feeling, like God... when really I Was a PIECE OF SH.T who only knew how to party and socialize under the influence.

It hurts man, I don't wanna elaborate any further I hate thinking like this, of this... but look, we all mess up, but can we stand back up? Can we admit we were wrong, and let the past TEACH us instead of depressingly hinder us and keep us locked in our thoughts without being able to move forward?

I also wanna apply for school again, for the first time in my life, I WANT TO BE IN CLASS learning something new and writing a ****ing 5 page report on it. I want to build new neurons and brain cells and stimulate my analytical thinking process. Knowledge is power. And there's no way to have a great open mind than learning about new things and seeing things for a different perspective to help further you in your journey to happiness and hopefully financial freedom, and private islands and shat

Let's do this bro. Don't give up. And never ever quit the gym. One thing I noticed, is when your fitness is in place, the rest of your world falls into place too. From my experience... but what do I know... I'm also back at square one.

thanks man, it just feels way better knowing someone who is in the same position as me. i don't know anyone around my age group in real life who ****ed up in life as bad as I did. everyone has already finished education, have great careers, have already been in multiple relationships and are in long-term relationships, getting married, already moved out on their own. im still a ****in virgin at 25 and still sleep in the same room as i did when i was 12 years old. i actually almost had to serve jail time multiple times as well. but due to assault in the workplace mostly.

i think you'll make it for sure. i can't even write as good as your post.

[RoxyFoxy22]

You're 25 bro. Stop thinking like this. I'm 28 and I have nothing, I went from something to complete nothing. It's thanks to drugs that I caught a stupid ass case and I got locked up from August 2016 (26 years old) to February of this year (28 years old) ... I would kill to be 25 right now, and fresh the way I am right now, and sober. Drugs are WORTHLESS bro. You have no idea how bad I reflected during all my time, and how many times I had tears flow at night when the lights went off and I was to myself, reflecting on HOW I let this happen, how stupid could I have possibly been to want throw away precious time away from the friends I (used to) have, and my (still) supportive family ... the world is so beautiful, so marvelous, the universe is unlimited and works to our benefit if we have our mind focused on that one thing we want so bad, we have SO much to see, I'm getting teary eyed honestly ****ing writing this... SUCCEED bro, you will succeed. DO NOT listen to anybody's criticism or judgement about your place in life right now.

You have no idea how miserable I felt knowing that I ... as it seems, pretty much threw my 20s away (even tho 2 years left til I hit 30) on the stupidest ****, spending time with people who aren't going nowhere or have no way to better me... threw money away, so much money, on things that DO NOT matter and will not bring me in more money, instead of spending time studying investing and forex for example (I used to), I was getting high thinking I'm a better person when I'm high and that anxiety is a joke and this is the way I should TRULY be feeling, like God... when really I Was a PIECE OF SH.T who only knew how to party and socialize under the influence.

It hurts man, I don't wanna elaborate any further I hate thinking like this, of this... but look, we all mess up, but can we stand back up? Can we admit we were wrong, and let the past TEACH us instead of depressingly hinder us and keep us locked in our thoughts without being able to move forward?

I also wanna apply for school again, for the first time in my life, I WANT TO BE IN CLASS learning something new and writing a ****ing 5 page report on it. I want to build new neurons and brain cells and stimulate my analytical thinking process. Knowledge is power. And there's no way to have a great open mind than learning about new things and seeing things for a different perspective to help further you in your journey to happiness and hopefully financial freedom, and private islands and shat

Let's do this bro. Don't give up. And never ever quit the gym. One thing I noticed, is when your fitness is in place, the rest of your world falls into place too. From my experience... but what do I know... I'm also back at square one.

This is so inspirational, almost made me tear. You are an awesome human being

[RoxyFoxy22]

slept the whole ****ing day, like willpower is dead right now.



thanks man, it just feels way better knowing someone who is in the same position as me. i don't know anyone around my age group in real life who ****ed up in life as bad as I did. everyone has already finished education, have great careers, have already been in multiple relationships and are in long-term relationships, getting married, already moved out on their own. im still a ****in virgin at 25 and still sleep in the same room as i did when i was 12 years old.

i think you'll make it for sure. i can't even write as good as your post.

I'm 22 years old and I can tell you that every phucking student has moments when they are thinking about giving up. Just stick to it and learn to deal with failure. My first year was a phucking mess, I had so many resits after my grandma had a brain stroke and I had to go back to my native country. Felt like a failure after being a straight A's student and thought that I am not going to pass the year. I passed, now I am a second year and I feel in so many ways. Sometimes I feel good about it, sometimes I feel that maybe I could have chose a better major. There are always people better than me and you and everybody else, just make a progress with yourself, don't make the mistake of comparing yourself to others. I feel like you put "students" on a pedestal, it's not like that, so many fail and retake an year, move to another university , etc, not just you.
Go back to school and this time talk to someone when you feel like giving up, even if you fail, just don't stop, I promise you that there are many people in your situation and it's not as worse as you see it. You have your life ahead, trust yourself more.

[eod8989]

This all feels so meaningless. I don't care what anyone says, this society since 2013 or so has gone to ****. The amount of good people is much lower and people are too disconnected and don't talk to anyone anymore. The lonely people are just being weeded out more than ever. And this is not an excuse. Something happened around 2013 or 2014 where people just became more trashy and distant. Especially in the corporate world where everyone has their head up their ass. I do too so it isn't just them.

[salamisalem]

You're 25 bro. Stop thinking like this. I'm 28 and I have nothing, I went from something to complete nothing. It's thanks to drugs that I caught a stupid ass case and I got locked up from August 2016 (26 years old) to February of this year (28 years old) ... I would kill to be 25 right now, and fresh the way I am right now, and sober. Drugs are WORTHLESS bro. You have no idea how bad I reflected during all my time, and how many times I had tears flow at night when the lights went off and I was to myself, reflecting on HOW I let this happen, how stupid could I have possibly been to want throw away precious time away from the friends I (used to) have, and my (still) supportive family ... the world is so beautiful, so marvelous, the universe is unlimited and works to our benefit if we have our mind focused on that one thing we want so bad, we have SO much to see, I'm getting teary eyed honestly ****ing writing this... SUCCEED bro, you will succeed. DO NOT listen to anybody's criticism or judgement about your place in life right now.

You have no idea how miserable I felt knowing that I ... as it seems, pretty much threw my 20s away (even tho 2 years left til I hit 30) on the stupidest ****, spending time with people who aren't going nowhere or have no way to better me... threw money away, so much money, on things that DO NOT matter and will not bring me in more money, instead of spending time studying investing and forex for example (I used to), I was getting high thinking I'm a better person when I'm high and that anxiety is a joke and this is the way I should TRULY be feeling, like God... when really I Was a PIECE OF SH.T who only knew how to party and socialize under the influence.

It hurts man, I don't wanna elaborate any further I hate thinking like this, of this... but look, we all mess up, but can we stand back up? Can we admit we were wrong, and let the past TEACH us instead of depressingly hinder us and keep us locked in our thoughts without being able to move forward?

I also wanna apply for school again, for the first time in my life, I WANT TO BE IN CLASS learning something new and writing a ****ing 5 page report on it. I want to build new neurons and brain cells and stimulate my analytical thinking process. Knowledge is power. And there's no way to have a great open mind than learning about new things and seeing things for a different perspective to help further you in your journey to happiness and hopefully financial freedom, and private islands and shat

Let's do this bro. Don't give up. And never ever quit the gym. One thing I noticed, is when your fitness is in place, the rest of your world falls into place too. From my experience... but what do I know... I'm also back at square one.

i've seen a lot of different people in my time at the ivy leauge and in corporate, but you are among the top most passionate people i've come across. your fire BURNS man. you're going to make it as long as you keep going in this vein and you focus on one thing, whatever that is.

fuk the past. fuk it. today's the only thing that matters. you got this. i belive in you

Great to hear you are doing well man. If I ever up make it up your way we will have to grab a beer. I don't drink but you know what I mean lol.

Hell yes man. anytime you're in boston hit me up, root beers on me heh

This all feels so meaningless. I don't care what anyone says, this society since 2013 or so has gone to ****. The amount of good people is much lower and people are too disconnected and don't talk to anyone anymore. The lonely people are just being weeded out more than ever. And this is not an excuse. Something happened around 2013 or 2014 where people just became more trashy and distant. Especially in the corporate world where everyone has their head up their ass. I do too so it isn't just them.

look i think it's also true that there's a lot of self-centered jerks around nowadays. but you gotta weed through them to find the people that are chill. like the miscers in this group man. i've accidentally met like 3-4 people that are truly genuine and look out for my wellbeing and i do the same for them. took 2 years of trying and talking to hundreds of people, while trying to friend like literally 60 different people. everything takes time, and if you keep at it you'll get better at it and eventulaly be successful as you learn - i truly belive that

[Smashiin]

Got a bit pissed off today about my uncle and how he told her that he won't let anything happen to get. Yeah, like me and my mother are going to cause her to lose everything and die. Fuk you motherfuker. But, I said my peace and that's that. My grandmother got mad. But, I don't care anymore. I say what I feel and that's the end of it. I'm old enough to speak my mind. Especially when he sees my mother as some piece of chit. This fuking tub of lard told my mom when me and my brother and his kids were just kids, that he didn't want his kids to be around us. No wonder I hate him and his whole family.

[IronMonkey]

I felt really bad when I wrote that previous post, and a bit embarrassed, so thank you fellas for appreciating it.

I really hope you guys are all having a good day. By all means vent if you have to! One big tip I got from that "Personal MBA" book is when he mentions that we need to externalize, whether to speak out loud, or WRITE it down, all our ideas, feelings, and thoughts, to clear your canvas, free your conscious, raise your spirits, and prepare your mind for challenges the next day!

Been listening to old LL Cool J... Hey Lover, one of my fave songs ever... this lyrics always INSPIRES me:

"I gotta take ya from your man, that's my mission
If his love is real he's got to handle competition
You only knew him for five months, that's right
Besides he drinks too much, and smokes too many blunts
And I'll be working out everyday thinkin' about you
Looking at my own eyes in the rear view"

[2RDEYE]

i went to the mall just to get out; it was a horrible experience. i hate western society so much. i'm asian so i look like a teen still so there's a huge difference in the way people act towards me vs other people. everyone thinks im a child still. in japan i felt like i was seen and treated as an adult everywhere i went. even with me growing some sorry excuse for facial hair, my face still looks childish.

gonna try to buy "mature" clothing. **** is expensive though. peacoats, parkas, dress shirts

[DefensiveEnd896]

i went to the mall just to get out; it was a horrible experience. i hate western society so much. i'm asian so i look like a teen still so there's a huge difference in the way people act towards me vs other people. everyone thinks im a child still. in japan i felt like i was seen and treated as an adult everywhere i went. even with me growing some sorry excuse for facial hair, my face still looks childish.

gonna try to buy "mature" clothing. **** is expensive though. peacoats, parkas, dress shirts

[eod8989]

i went to the mall just to get out; it was a horrible experience. i hate western society so much. i'm asian so i look like a teen still so there's a huge difference in the way people act towards me vs other people. everyone thinks im a child still. in japan i felt like i was seen and treated as an adult everywhere i went. even with me growing some sorry excuse for facial hair, my face still looks childish.

gonna try to buy "mature" clothing. **** is expensive though. peacoats, parkas, dress shirts

TFW you go out and get more depressed because of what you see

[2RDEYE]

spent $50 on lotto this month already i want money so bad god damn it

about to spend another $20

i wonder if i could win the lotto if i spent my entire month's pay on it ...so tempting

TFW you go out and get more depressed because of what you see

yep it makes me want to stay inside **** but staying inside is not living. yesterday i spent the whole day sitting in front of my comp. like even spent an hour with the monitor turned off.

today i went to the library. and this kid literally kept pushing me when i was registering for a library card. i let it go though he seemed to have mental disability from the look at his face. guessing he was around 8-10 years old

[IronMonkey]

Hey at least you went out bro. Try to see past all those little things that irritate you or annoy you, or even (truly) invoke some envy or jealousy out of you that you're not in that certain kind of position yet and wanna be (happens to me so just saying, don't mean to offend) .. Youth has gone nowhere .. I've been a lazy chit myself this week thanks for mentioning the library too.

Leaders are readers! Financially ... I've been really lost too, I hopefully will get my old appliance repair job back soon enough... until then I know I should research and do cryptos like my bro encourages, but procrastinating.

Oh, and when it comes to lotto and scratchers ... man, I've been there, I am so over it! Save your money and invest it or buy something flashy for yourself.

[eod8989]

spent $50 on lotto this month already i want money so bad god damn it

about to spend another $20

i wonder if i could win the lotto if i spent my entire month's pay on it ...so tempting



yep it makes me want to stay inside **** but staying inside is not living. yesterday i spent the whole day sitting in front of my comp. like even spent an hour with the monitor turned off.

today i went to the library. and this kid literally kept pushing me when i was registering for a library card. i let it go though he seemed to have mental disability from the look at his face. guessing he was around 8-10 years old

I seem to stay in a more stable mood when i'm inside on the PC. When i go out i have bipolar episodes because everyone else looks happy and are hanging with each other. At work i get mad because i don't fit in. I was at the store the other day and some kid through a soda right next to my car. Every time i go out people are rude or some kids are being retarded or people are having road rage. I don't know if it's just me but what i see when i go out these days is slightly disturbing.

[2RDEYE]

I seem to stay in a more stable mood when i'm inside on the PC. When i go out i have bipolar episodes because everyone else looks happy and are hanging with each other. At work i get mad because i don't fit in. I was at the store the other day and some kid through a soda right next to my car. Every time i go out people are rude or some kids are being retarded or people are having road rage. I don't know if it's just me but what i see when i go out these days is slightly disturbing.

yea its negative as fuk. i got yelled at by an old man for using the printer in the library. he was like "hey! don't do anything! i'm using that!" i was just like "ok. sorry." jeez so many people just want to fight or something

Hey at least you went out bro. Try to see past all those little things that irritate you or annoy you, or even (truly) invoke some envy or jealousy out of you that you're not in that certain kind of position yet and wanna be (happens to me so just saying, don't mean to offend) .. Youth has gone nowhere .. I've been a lazy chit myself this week thanks for mentioning the library too.

Leaders are readers! Financially ... I've been really lost too, I hopefully will get my old appliance repair job back soon enough... until then I know I should research and do cryptos like my bro encourages, but procrastinating.

Oh, and when it comes to lotto and scratchers ... man, I've been there, I am so over it! Save your money and invest it or buy something flashy for yourself.

im addicted to lotto. my mind keeps going "u can't win if u dont play" so i keep going. but i dont mind. if i win its a life changer. even just 100k...

just remembered its my birthday this friday

[jesb7826]

As you get older the depression of birthdays get more and more depressing. I grew up pretty much with very few friends. Had a best friend for many years but we had a fallout and havent spoke in like 5 years or more. Next month I turn 40 and have no friends to celebrate it with. It gets depressing seeing all these people celebrate birthday celebration with a bunch of friends and you have nobody. No friends. No gf. Nothing. Been thinking of taking a vaca bymyself but money tight too with work being also ****ty.

[2RDEYE]

i never had friends to celebrate my birthday with in my entire life lol

my family usually celebrates it but this year i said no its ok. dont want to sit in front of my cake in front of my family FA as fuk anymore

[KRANE]

Well I finally went cycling today. Haven't gone out in months making excuses. Finally got up the gumption and went out despite the cooler weather we've been having.

I told myself better to get in a short ride then nothing at all. I love cycling and the fresh air (well fresh for LA anyway) can be therapeutic.

Wanted to get back refreshed, but as fate would have it, the 2 hour ride I had planned turned into 4. Still, I wasn't as spent as I thought I would be. Especially riding fasted (not intentionally).

Amway, tried to get home before sunset but dad-blasted standard time got dark on my way home. Choppy pot-hole roads and crazy weekend drivers, but I made it back none the worse for wear.

Got to get out of the house dudes or you'll turn into something monstrous. A scrooge maybe?

[2RDEYE]

i tried learning how to bike when i was like 16-18 or something it was the most embarrassing thing ever. still can't ride a bike

i said a girl was cute in a reddit's ask women advice thread and people were telling me to stop sexualizing her wtf lol all i said was that she was cute and i get attacked such a fuked up world

[LookIntoIt]

I'm 20 years old and I've suffered with depression for 6 years now. Failed school because of it, struggled to find a job and stayed in bed, never leaving the house for 4 years.

Past year I've had big improvements. Found myself a job processing deliveries for a shop. Nothing special, but I see it as a start. I go outside more, but still struggle with anxiety quite badly. Figured I'd pick up bodybuilding 3 weeks ago. I'm skinny, but hoping I can use working out, improving my body and diet to hopefully improve my mental health.

The problem I still have is feeling below others. For example, I struggle to find a good workout routine because some of them have requirements to use certain equipment at the gym that my anxiety stops me from being able to use due to fear of embarrassing myself. That in result makes me hate my body more due to slower gains and seeing others a lot bigger than me at the gym. No friends to go to the gym with to help motivate me either or make me feel more comfortable. I have the motivation to improve my body, but not the willpower to do it... My diet has changed a lot for the better, which is the only part I'm managing to stick with completely.

I feel like every time I take a step forward, there's always something there ready to force me into taking another back. I never end up making the progress I need in order to break that barrier stopping me from being "normal".

[midcoastking33]

Well I finally went cycling today. Haven't gone out in months making excuses. Finally got up the gumption and went out despite the cooler weather we've been having.

I told myself better to get in a short ride then nothing at all. I love cycling and the fresh air (well fresh for LA anyway) can be therapeutic.

Wanted to get back refreshed, but as fate would have it, the 2 hour ride I had planned turned into 4. Still, I wasn't as spent as I thought I would be. Especially riding fasted (not intentionally).

Amway, tried to get home before sunset but dad-blasted standard time got dark on my way home. Choppy pot-hole roads and crazy weekend drivers, but I made it back none the worse for wear.

Got to get out of the house dudes or you'll turn into something monstrous. A scrooge maybe?

I definitely need to get a bike this year

[2RDEYE]

gonna hand in my resume to my boss today, i'm still with a temp agency, so if i go full time i get health benefits. i just want to see the dentist to be honest, and then i don't give a ****. haven't been to the dentist in probably 10 years

[salamisalem]

Well I finally went cycling today. Haven't gone out in months making excuses. Finally got up the gumption and went out despite the cooler weather we've been having.

I told myself better to get in a short ride then nothing at all. I love cycling and the fresh air (well fresh for LA anyway) can be therapeutic.

Wanted to get back refreshed, but as fate would have it, the 2 hour ride I had planned turned into 4. Still, I wasn't as spent as I thought I would be. Especially riding fasted (not intentionally).

Amway, tried to get home before sunset but dad-blasted standard time got dark on my way home. Choppy pot-hole roads and crazy weekend drivers, but I made it back none the worse for wear.

Got to get out of the house dudes or you'll turn into something monstrous. A scrooge maybe?

I definitely need to get a bike this year

dam that sounds like a fun time. used to love biking as a kid, but as an adult i think of all the bikers i've almost hit with a car and i'm like NOPE haha. any close calls Krane?