29 Signs Your Biological Clock Is Ticking

[norinicole]

I think the tone of your post is what led to that assumption. If you re-read, you'll see. I even thought it was slightly rude. Thanks for clarifying though!

I do think it's amazing that although you're not fond of children, that you DO get along with your step children, and that you're trying to be the best role model and step mother that you can be. When people have good intentions, it really shows and it is appreciated. I'm sure they appreciate you.

Best of luck to you and your family.

This. The original post did have a less positive vibe to it, although your post following cleared things up.

My boyfriend was never planning on having kids, yet he is the most amazing parent to my 5 year old (moreso than his real dad) and they have a special bond that shows how much they love each other.

i appreciate that. it is important to me that i am a role model for them. my mom was a meth addict for a long time, and their mom has gone down a similar path, so i can more than relate. im glad that i can be their for them, even tho at times i dont know what the hell im doing. i had a mother figure who sort of looked after me when my mom was "sick" and im glad i can do the same for them.

Just so you know, I think ALL parents at one time or another have no idea what they're doing either, lol.

Kudos to you for providing those girls a great role model and someone to look up to.

[madelineoneil]

Just so you know, I think ALL parents at one time or another have no idea what they're doing either, lol.

Kudos to you for providing those girls a great role model and someone to look up to.

thanks so much!!!

[NOVA888]

woooah, woah. i NEVER said i dont want them around, that dont love them, or that i feel negatively about them. it just made me realize even more that i dont want any of my own...just confirmed that i really dont have the "maternal" thing going on. i have a great relationship with the girls, and im glad i can have a positive impact on their life, as their mom isnt really around.

youre right, they do deserve a step mom who wants them around. and they HAVE one. i find being a stepparent hard, but i do the best i can.

side note: one part of your post that i did appreciate was when you said "a parent is a parent"...thank you for saying that. a lot of my friends who have biological children think "i dont count", you know? i get comments like, "well, if you have your OWN kids..." or well, its different when their YOURS..." sure some things might be different, but geez. bums be out because i do try really hard.

Thank you so much for the clarification, as I had also misinterpreted your original post (damn this Internet).

Wonderful that you've taken on the role of stepparent, and many kudos to you. It's certainly not an easy job, especially since the stepparent doesn't have that weird, biological thing going on. I can't explain it, but it's something that dominates me, and not necessarily in a good way. I'm probably not explaining this so well. My husband is a exceptional stepparent to my/our daughter, but he's sometimes a bit more rational than I am. And I wonder if this is because he's not dominated by that 'thing' that takes hold when it's a child of your own loins. I don't know, maybe I'm wrong about all that, but whatever. I seem to feel it a great deal.

Best of all to you and yours, and warmest regards for taking on one half of the Brady Bunch! Just imagine if you had three boys!!! :O

[seanb1979]

I chose to stay with the kid, and never went back to the grind.

But you did go back to the grind...

[seanb1979]

THANK YOU.

im so tired of getting frowned upon because i dont want to bear children. i, too, wonder if alot of people do it because that "what youre supposed to do" or "thats the next step."

so to answer the original question, no. my clock is not ticking. babies dont do it for me AT ALL - toddlers even less -and i get really annoyed with the big deal people make out of having them/not having them. its gotten even worse since ive been married.

i do have 3 stepchildren now (all girls), and that even further confirmed my desicion to not have kids.

Guys kind of get this too sometimes. People ask me if I'm married and/or have kids and sometimes they're almost offended when I say no. As if they're thinking 'damn it, I had to suffer through that, so you should too!' I really don't understand it, since I don't care whatsoever about peoples' familial statuses.

[aussiemommy]

'damn it, I had to suffer through that, so you should too!'

I can assure you that parents don't think we're 'suffering' by having kids. The joys far outweigh the tough times. There are certainly times when I envy childless people (my son is nearly 4, he can be a handful at times), but I also feel sad for them that they're missing out on all that. There's something inexplicably special about watching your kids grow up, and it just gets better and better all the time (especially the love you have for them). Having said that, I'm sure childless people can find joy in plenty of other ways .

[seanb1979]

I can assure you that parents don't think we're 'suffering' by having kids. The joys far outweigh the tough times. There are certainly times when I envy childless people (my son is nearly 4, he can be a handful at times), but I also feel sad for them that they're missing out on all that. There's something inexplicably special about watching your kids grow up, and it just gets better and better all the time (especially the love you have for them). Having said that, I'm sure childless people can find joy in plenty of other ways .

I guess from my perspective, all I heard from adults around me when I was a child was how nice it would be to not have kids. And I know there are marriages that are truly happy, but lets be honest: the majority of them are either miserable or simply in a very neutral relationship that's born out of forced habit and familiarity rather than true passion.

[aussiemommy]

I guess from my perspective, all I heard from adults around me when I was a child was how nice it would be to not have kids. And I know there are marriages that are truly happy, but lets be honest: the majority of them are either miserable or simply in a very neutral relationship that's born out of forced habit and familiarity rather than true passion.

I'll let you in on a little secret: most parents will say this from time to time, especially when the kids are being cheeky/naughty, but really we wouldn't change our lives for all the money in the world.

I do agree with you on the marriage thing though. I made the mistake of marrying and having a child with my ex, but I've learned my lesson and won't make the same mistake again.

[aussiemommy]

Oh f***, that sounded terrible (the bit where I said I made a mistake of having my son). I don't regret having my son, but I'll be really honest and say that I should have left my abusive ex before having a child with him IYKWIM.

[elaina08]

"It was just the one poster that I was commenting to, that her reasoning for not having children sounded superficial (ie physical imperfections) versus thoughtful. "

That was me you were talking to .. you also said I sounded like a teenager or something. Just to clarify the physical changes are NOT my reasons for not wanting kids. Heck, my body changes just by me being a pig for a week or two I'm NOT worried about the weight gain. But for a women who has never had children the body changes are something you think about and I'm not just talking about the belly. I'm talking hormonal, mental, emotional, etc.

You also told me I'm selfish. How am I selfish for not wanting children? I travel to do missions work with single moms for a certain organization .. I WON'T give that up as that is my passion. I do enjoy my freedom. My career. There are things I want to do before I am married that I never thought before would financially be possible. So if I am selfish for these things well ... I am not sorry I am not driven by 'must get married, must have babies immediately'. I'd like to add I love my little niece. I said "many" kids nowadays are spoiled and bratty. It's the way they are raised, the society, culture. But I don't hate kids. I just don't have that longing feeling of birthing one of my own.

Where my fear of the belly/weight gain comes from is also personal and I really think rude comments like 'how old are you? you sound like a teenager' are inappropriate. I have seen abuse, both physical and emotional, from husbands of my friends/family when they are not able to shed the baby fat. I have heard the name calling, I see them crying. I know not all men are like that as my dad and brother are great fathers who love their wives regardless of size. But I also see the other side and that these so-called 'men' who loved them so much when they got married now treat them like dirt.

[Carlycavwifey]

I'll let you in on a little secret: most parents will say this from time to time, especially when the kids are being cheeky/naughty, but really we wouldn't change our lives for all the money in the world.

^^^So true

[gab88]

how did i end up here? I wasnt even miscing