Question (and rant) to those who lost virginity late(20+)or still are virgins(srs)

[portgaz1]

in.....

[kmplex]

I think my problem is that i just don't know how to initiate conversations. if i could just talk to girl i think i would have no problem bringing one home after a few tries. i just don't know where to start. i've tried randomly initiating conversations before and usually just get a "if you keep talking to me i'll call the cops" response from girls. what the fuk do people talk about? the fact that some guys can go to a bar, meet a woman you have never seen before, and be balls deep in her back at your place within 2 hours of meeting her is nearly incomprehensible to me.

Talk about your surroundings, something she's wearing, her dog, the fall leaves on the tree, anything you can obverse around you..

Example, you don't need to be slick or have a line, just be natural.. Talk to her as a friend, and most importantly listen, listen, and listen. When you do that you'll have plenty of things to talk about.



Also How to talk to her, how to make the approach, and why a lot of guys hide and fail because they wait so long trying to find an opener..

[papi89]

I've tried inviting girls to the bars and it's mostly failed. Brb getting netflix. Yeah, I've thought about it, I don't really do anything that interesting on a daily basis, it's mostly just school, work, study, watch/read about sports, go out on weekends. One piece of advice I always hear is "get her talking about herself," funny that you'd say the opposite. (kinda)

Yeah bro get them talking about themselves but you're also going to talk about yourself. They like to know what you do with yourself before you proceed to insert your penis inside their vaginas..

It's all about how you carry yourself.. In the end no one is going to go home with you if they don't feel comfortable around you. That's kind of the purpose of getting a girl to talk about herself. So that you can respond with a similar interest you have and just building a connection makes it that much easier.

It's like if a girl tells you she likes to go out drinking every weekend, and you respond with, "...well, I go out whenever my mom doesn't find out and I don't drink that much" She's going to think you're fuking weird

[gp14]

Escalate more and sex will naturally follow. You can spit the best game, have delusional, confidence, 10/10 aesthetics but the fact of the matter is, no girl is going to **** unless you BE A MAN and ESCALATE. Hold her hands, grab her waist, push her around, call her out on ****, etc.

This will amp up her state and make her wet as fuark for you. From there, figure out logistics and lead her to a spot where you can close. This is legit advice OP. pls be safe and wrap it before you tap it.

I want to be leaf.

[MaskedMuchacho]

21 y/o virgin checking in. Doesn't bother me that much, I'm not sure how it would add anything to my life. Besides, fapping 8 times a day on average kinda kills your desire to be with a woman.

[stevenwestwood]

You're overthinking it man. Just stop trying so hard and it'll happen.

You might be trying to get the wrong kind of girls, stop giving a fuk, let your ego go and be a little more open minded as well. I'm sure you've had opportunities to smash and you didn't even realize it

[Swizzard]

Lost V card early 20s. Always have and still continue to have sex on my brain 24/7. I guess I'm subconsciously just trying to make up for lost time.

[Arsyy]

OP, squeeze dem glutes around my dick

[lightedshadows]

When I was 14, I promised myself I would kill myself if I was a virgin by 25. Lost it on my 19birthday. Feelsgoodman. Could have lost it at 17 but I had too much respect and understanding for my gf who was deathly afraid of getting pregnant or her strict parents finding out, but it turned out great to just wait it out instead of force it. Just let it happen OP. Is it a big deal? I'm sure it is to some people due to pride/confidence and it can affect your relationship with some women. But if you can find someone who cares about you, they won't mind helping you learn brah. Srs

[harris505]

theres hope dude I didn't kiss a girl til i was 20 and now ive had sex with 6 girls this year alone, unfortunately none of that PUA bull**** helped me, I just became physically attractive after my teens

[TheNate909]

your worrying too much about something that isnt really a huge deal...dont fukin freak out over lack of sex...have fun enjoy life..you really shoudnt measure yourself on getting laid

[fah92]

Remember this - As soon as you stop giving a **** about it, it will happen.

So much this srs, also apply the not giving a fuk to your entire attitude

[AestheticMidget]

My mind is absolutely blown every time i hear about a 21+ virgin (srs). Don't try to get laid. You need to realize women most likely already are attracted to you - and atleast as horny as you.

Do you wanna know why you do not get laid? Because you do not take any chances. Be sexual, keep eye contact, hold her hand. Escalate. And the number 1 reason guys do not get laid... You never ask them to come back to your or hers place.

[TyBaseball]

Lost mine at age 20 thinking back I was such a pussy in bed, I let my little gf (first gf ever) take control since she was my first. Like I'd make her choose the positions and I doubt I ever gave her an orgasim. Sigh, I wish I could go back and fuk her now to show her I've changed.. I was actually like that with the first 4 girls I had sex with, I was scared of doing something inappropriate I guess.. I have a brand new gf and for once I've taken controll and I can tell she likes it.

So what I'm saying is try to lie to yourself and even ur friends and tell them you got laid by a 6/10. It'll get them off your back and maybe you'll start to believe you actually did get laid, I know that sounds weird but hell it helped me. Also hopefully it's with a nice girl like my first time was with, she wasn't pissed I didn't take charge but it's hard to know what to do when you've never done it. I suggest not telling girls or anyone that your a virgin, just start saying you haven't been with many girls. It really does help and girls don't want to be with virgins but they do like guys to have low numbers

[BrawnySwoleman]

Yeah bro get them talking about themselves but you're also going to talk about yourself. They like to know what you do with yourself before you proceed to insert your penis inside their vaginas..

It's all about how you carry yourself.. In the end no one is going to go home with you if they don't feel comfortable around you. That's kind of the purpose of getting a girl to talk about herself. So that you can respond with a similar interest you have and just building a connection makes it that much easier.

It's like if a girl tells you she likes to go out drinking every weekend, and you respond with, "...well, I go out whenever my mom doesn't find out and I don't drink that much" She's going to think you're fuking weird

Understood.

your worrying too much about something that isnt really a huge deal...dont fukin freak out over lack of sex...have fun enjoy life..you really shoudnt measure yourself on getting laid

You're definitely right, it's just hard to accept.

theres hope dude I didn't kiss a girl til i was 20 and now ive had sex with 6 girls this year alone, unfortunately none of that PUA bull**** helped me, I just became physically attractive after my teens

Yeah I didn't kiss a girl till I was 20 either and that was just because I didn't go to parties until deep into college.

Lost mine at age 20 thinking back I was such a pussy in bed, I let my little gf (first gf ever) take control since she was my first. Like I'd make her choose the positions and I doubt I ever gave her an orgasim. Sigh, I wish I could go back and fuk her now to show her I've changed.. I was actually like that with the first 4 girls I had sex with, I was scared of doing something inappropriate I guess.. I have a brand new gf and for once I've taken controll and I can tell she likes it.

So what I'm saying is try to lie to yourself and even ur friends and tell them you got laid by a 6/10. It'll get them off your back and maybe you'll start to believe you actually did get laid, I know that sounds weird but hell it helped me. Also hopefully it's with a nice girl like my first time was with, she wasn't pissed I didn't take charge but it's hard to know what to do when you've never done it. I suggest not telling girls or anyone that your a virgin, just start saying you haven't been with many girls. It really does help and girls don't want to be with virgins but they do like guys to have low numbers

Hmm...interesting point. If confidence is irrational, might as well lie about this to give me confidence. I can always say I smashed the girl I brought home last year lol.

My mind is absolutely blown every time i hear about a 21+ virgin (srs). Don't try to get laid. You need to realize women most likely already are attracted to you - and atleast as horny as you.

Do you wanna know why you do not get laid? Because you do not take any chances. Be sexual, keep eye contact, hold her hand. Escalate. And the number 1 reason guys do not get laid... You never ask them to come back to your or hers place.

I find the bolded hard to believe since you post on the misc. But I'll keep all your points in mind.

Thanks everyone for weighing in. Not sure whether I got good responses because of my reps or because I don't sound like a total defeatist FA *******.

[spicymelon]

Based on your avi you could easily go to a club and smash some puss tonight. My best piece of advice is to not look upon every social and physical interaction with females as something sexual. Relax, get over it, have fun, come home, grab something nice to drink and clap dem cheekz brotha

[CLIMATIC]

Lost it at 23. There were a handful of times I could have done it earlier, but I always pussed out. Till one time I was out with a plenty of fish date and I just did it. Next time you're hooking up with a girl and it's obvious she wants it just put a condom and go in

[SocialistGerman]

im the same exact way minus the bar outings if it makes you feel any better OP. I feel like I don't really have anything to offer a woman; Therefore, i'll never get laid until I do. Figure I'll either die a virgin (most likely) or get laid IF I manage to get a high paying job around 30-40+.


age: 21 (nearly 22) checking in.

[BrawnySwoleman]

Based on your avi you could easily go to a club and smash some puss tonight. My best piece of advice is to not look upon every social and physical interaction with females as something sexual. Relax, get over it, have fun, come home, grab something nice to drink and clap dem cheekz brotha

Lost it at 23. There were a handful of times I could have done it earlier, but I always pussed out. Till one time I was out with a plenty of fish date and I just did it. Next time you're hooking up with a girl and it's obvious she wants it just put a condom and go in

I'm terrible if telling if a girl is interested. I've had friends talk about a girl saying, "She wants it," but then when I talk to the girl I get no such sign.

im the same exact way minus the bar outings if it makes you feel any better OP. I feel like I don't really have anything to offer a woman; Therefore, i'll never get laid until I do. Figure I'll either die a virgin (most likely) or get laid IF I manage to get a high paying job around 30-40+.


age: 21 (nearly 22) checking in.

Don't talk like that about yourself.

[gp14]

Answer me OP. Answer me nao.

[BrawnySwoleman]

Answer me OP. Answer me nao.

Didn't answer because your post wasn't a question lol. Will try to apply what you said though.

[CLIMATIC]

What is the furthest you have gone with a girl? Have you ever made out?

[WIDGE_uk]

stop feeling sorry for yourself and go bang a 4-6/10. more guys have done it than would like to admit.

[DasWunderBrah]

fuark. I'm basically OP but shorter and less experienced.

is this real life?

Good thread btw

[BrawnySwoleman]

What is the furthest you have gone with a girl? Have you ever made out?

Made out with 8 girls, got jacked + sucked by another. I could have fukked the last girl I listed. If only I had remembered "the hole is lower than you think." Didn't kiss a girl until I was 20.

stop feeling sorry for yourself and go bang a 4-6/10. more guys have done it than would like to admit.

I'd def. smash a 5 or 6/10. In real life, 5 is average and 6 is above, but you guys seem to treat anything below 7 as ugly lol.

[defixon]

OP, do you talk to girls outside of going to bars? Trying to bring a girl home from a night out is only ONE way to get laid. There's so many other avenues. Online dating is typically the easiest..followed by having a friend introduce you to a girl, followed by coworkers/networking, followed by meeting a chick out at a bar/club. You're probably only relying on the hardest avenue in which one would get dat sexy time.

Instead of trying to have weird drunken one night stand...work on getting girls numbers (online dating, going out, through friend, etc). Put some time and effort in and actually talk to them, get to know them. Then proceed to invite them over or get them alone.. Sometimes you need to connect/relate to a person before sex just happens.

I'm always talking to new girls (usually through text messages) probably every week in pursuit of new phuck buddies.. This is how you keep the rotation going since a FB doesn't typically last that long. If I relied on only smashing girls I met out at bars my sex life wouldnt be nearly as fulfilling...(Im a bartender that works with his shirt off too, it comes fairly easy for me) yet I still have to use different avenues to meet women.

[derkerkjerk]

Stop making a big deal about it.

Seriously. Didn't lose mine until I was 20. Then had a huge dry spell after that.

You'll realize it's really not as big of a ****ing deal as you make it out to be in your head. The less you start worrying about talking to a chick and having an aim of getting in her panties, the easier you actually will get in them.

Just enjoy life and put that aspect of it out of your head, because it only causes you to stumble, fumble, and generally **** things up when you normally would not. Way back when in elementary/early grade schoold days, boys and girls would talk to each other like it was no deal. It's not until you start getting your hormones in on things that **** gets complicated and becomes a hassle. The less you stress over it, the easier it comes to you. This is my experience and other friend's as well. I have a friend who said after high-school he knew he was never getting any pussy. Never. He just said **** it and would talk to them like regular people and not get ancy over it because he KNEW he wasn't walking away with any. What happened? Got. Laid. Lots.

Making a big deal out of it isn't worth the stress it brings you. Chill out, relax, and if you must think anything at all, then think that you're just talking to a girl who you already know and who already told you that you're going to **** later. Take sex out of the equation and it becomes a much easier problem to deal with.

[dannyg2127]

Talk to woman and ask for their number. Generally they will give you it as long as they arent a c*nt.

Then text them and make plans. Rinse, Repeat. If one girls flakes or isn't feeling it then just move on to the next and dont take it to heart.

[BrawnySwoleman]

OP, do you talk to girls outside of going to bars? Trying to bring a girl home from a night out is only ONE way to get laid. There's so many other avenues. Online dating is typically the easiest..followed by having a friend introduce you to a girl, followed by coworkers/networking, followed by meeting a chick out at a bar/club. You're probably only relying on the hardest avenue in which one would get dat sexy time.

Instead of trying to have weird drunken one night stand...work on getting girls numbers (online dating, going out, through friend, etc). Put some time and effort in and actually talk to them, get to know them. Then proceed to invite them over or get them alone.. Sometimes you need to connect/relate to a person before sex just happens.

I'm always talking to new girls (usually through text messages) probably every week in pursuit of new phuck buddies.. This is how you keep the rotation going since a FB doesn't typically last that long. If I relied on only smashing girls I met out at bars my sex life wouldnt be nearly as fulfilling...(Im a bartender that works with his shirt off too, it comes fairly easy for me) yet I still have to use different avenues to meet women.

Well, I still get numbers from girls I meet during a night out and try to start a conversation, which usually goes nowhere. I would have thought meetng girls at parties/bars was easiest because its a social enviornment with the alcohol flowing.

I talk to some girls at work, but if I ask them out and they say no, is that not just going to be awkward? I used to try to get girls by talking to them in classes before I started going out, but that got me nowhere. I was shorter and less aesthetic then, but I don't think that matters much. Gym doesn't really lend itself to good opportunities. Online dating while I'm still in college surrounded by girls makes me feel pathetic, especially when I hear about how it's full of emotionally damaged whales with ridiculous standards. So that leaves meeting girls through friends. Unfortunately I don't have that many female friends and a lot of my guy friends don't either. But I guess I'll have to give it a shot.

Stop making a big deal about it.

Seriously. Didn't lose mine until I was 20. Then had a huge dry spell after that.

You'll realize it's really not as big of a ****ing deal as you make it out to be in your head. The less you start worrying about talking to a chick and having an aim of getting in her panties, the easier you actually will get in them.

Just enjoy life and put that aspect of it out of your head, because it only causes you to stumble, fumble, and generally **** things up when you normally would not. Way back when in elementary/early grade schoold days, boys and girls would talk to each other like it was no deal. It's not until you start getting your hormones in on things that **** gets complicated and becomes a hassle. The less you stress over it, the easier it comes to you. This is my experience and other friend's as well. I have a friend who said after high-school he knew he was never getting any pussy. Never. He just said **** it and would talk to them like regular people and not get ancy over it because he KNEW he wasn't walking away with any. What happened? Got. Laid. Lots.

Making a big deal out of it isn't worth the stress it brings you. Chill out, relax, and if you must think anything at all, then think that you're just talking to a girl who you already know and who already told you that you're going to **** later. Take sex out of the equation and it becomes a much easier problem to deal with.

Good advice. Maybe I need to talk to girls with that "I'm not getting laid, might as well see where this takes me" mindset.

[ajn]

op, i used to be like this in my late teens. your problem, quite simply, is that you built up this whole idea of *SEX* in your head to be something it's not. the thing that you think you want, is not actually a real thing at all. it's simply your own personal conception of the thing that you gradually created subconsciously so that your mind would have a reference. the easiest way to rectify this problem would be to 'hack' your brain, so to speak, and rewire the way you think about things.

i bet you dream/fantasize about having sex all the time, right? well guess what, the nature of those fantasies is not in any way accurate to real life. you HAVE to stop clinging to them, until you do you will never have success. and even if you do end up having sex, it won't feel as good because you had false expectations built up about it.

the reason why you find it difficult to just "stop caring" about sex, is because you subconsciously created a fantasy of sex that was so good that you don't want to let it go. by creating this fantasy, you are simultaneously creating fear that the fantasy may not be realized. now is when you must realize that your fantasy is false. the reasoning behind this is simple: your mind cannot accurately represent events how they actually occur. for example, try to imagine yourself doing something in your immediate vicinity, like say going to use the bathroom, or getting up and walking around, whatever. but i want you to try to imagine it with as much detail as if you were in the act.. what it would feel like, what all five of your senses would experience, the feeling of the ground beneath your feet, etc during that action. then, actually go to the bathroom and come back. you will notice that the actually performing the act felt NOTHING like the image you had in your mind. even if you were able to imagine most of the general details, there is still a lot of 'information' missing that your mind simply cannot fabricate. in other words, the quality of a fantasy (no matter how detailed it may be), is of a completely different nature than the feeling of actually performing an act in the present moment. the point of this exercise is so you can prove to yourself that the idea you have of sex, the fantasy, exists only in your head and cannot ever take place in reality. you don't feel anxiety because you haven't had sex, you feel anxiety because you are foolishly holding yourself to an unrealistic conception in your mind. think of this post as giving you the permission to finally stop buying into whatever nagging fantasies you have in your head and to let them go. once you realize, very clearly, that NOTHING you can possibly think of in your mind when you think of the word "sex" is actually what sex is, you'll be alright.

from personal experience, it's tough to let go of whatever fantasies you may have because they're so comforting sometimes. you really feel like having sex will make your life complete somehow. you have to get it through your head that you will be the same person before and after inserting your male appendage into a hole, just like you're the same person before and after you brush your teeth in the morning. you have to see it for what it is, which is "not a big deal"