Have you ever felt self-conscious when people comment that you are 'too big' (even though you think you are damn small)? I am sometimes in conflict with others' and my own perception of beauty.
Has anyone ever felt the same way? How to overcome such feelings?
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11-02-2012, 01:29 PM #1
Negativity associated with female muscles
Last edited by Psychoelectric; 11-02-2012 at 02:36 PM.
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11-02-2012, 04:07 PM #2
If somebody told me I looked too 'big' I would probably kiss them and go skipping off into the sunset. I'd love to actually look like I lift to the point that others were commenting, even if they meant it negative, I'd take it as a huuuuuge compliment
CSCS
845@132 | Wilks 429.55
Meet lifts : Squat 275 | Bench 170 | Dead 400
Journal : http://tinyurl.com/80s-lifting-journal
mom to 3 boys / spend my life at grocery store crew
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11-02-2012, 04:24 PM #3
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This!
even tho Im not a female I have experienced people telling me "Your too big"... and honestly I take it as a compliment as well...Dont let other people's opinion stop you from reaching your physique goals...just think....If I would have listened to those people..iI would be no where near where I am today#ShreddedSociety
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11-02-2012, 04:29 PM #4
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my husband (who's not known for his tact) said my arms were looking like a mans the other day. I think he was half serious..I told him to " watch his mouth brah".
I felt a little hurt for a couple of hours, but at the same time was happy that obviously my work was showing : )
As long as your happy, don't worry what others opinions are..live your life how YOU want to.Cheers,
Mel x
-Just because it burns, it doesn't mean your gonna die- (Pink)
My journal http://forum.bodybuilding.com/showthread.php?t=149651933
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11-02-2012, 06:20 PM #5
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11-02-2012, 07:32 PM #6
I think that kind of attitude is what communities like BB.com help mitigate. And really, who cares what others say if you feel healthy and strong? I lift heavy, for me, but still get asked whether I am a ballerina.... (I don't want to mess with my eating habits to bulk.) So, I would like to be a bit bigger-- and I am gaining some size-- but my twin sister already considers me "huge:" "You lift 25 lbs dumbbells-- IN BOTH HANDS?"
Personally, I think you look awesome.
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11-02-2012, 08:28 PM #7
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every decision is subject to criticism...
example 1: paramedics save someone's life and get blamed for "allowing the second person to die"
example 2: middle aged over-eater decides to get healthy and is ridiculed for "waiting so long to do something about it"
see what i'm saying?
obviously the bad decisions are criticized too...
example 1: criminal robs a bank and is sentenced to prison
example 2: individual cheats on spouse and is labeled "a cheater"
regardless of merit, people will criticize
they'll criticize the good
they'll criticize the bad
so its up to you to remind yourself what you're doing is fine
personally, however(in b4 sh*t storm), i like "soft bodied" women
dat subcutaneous fat hnnnngThe muscles i value most are the ones directly surrounding the spine, the hips, the scapula, the femur and the tibia... in that order.
Basically the whole body minus chest and biceps... pretty much the opposite of what your local gym looks like on a typical Monday.
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11-03-2012, 05:21 AM #8
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11-03-2012, 05:41 AM #9
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Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Just because some doesn't find muscular girls to look good doesn't mean that you don't look good to the other 99.9% of the population.
I find people with similar goals have similar opinions. It is usually those who are out of shape, overweight, or underweight and are satisfied with themselves that criticize what we do the most. There is a reason they are what they are and why they won't change.
I love getting the "you've gotten huge (muscle wise)" remarks. It means I'm doing it right!Coming out of "retirement"...Meg is training for a Figure competition...again!!!
http://forum.bodybuilding.com/showthread.php?t=171008551&pagenumber=
My first ever training journal: Oh snap....Meg-O's training for a Figure comp...
http://forum.bodybuilding.com/showthread.php?t=139228463
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11-03-2012, 06:40 AM #10
I originally come from a whole country where woman is supposed to be small,thin and easily dominated by the males so they all smoke and starve themselves. And I was always pointed as fat,big and all the rest and since I moved to Canada and started seriously working out my muscles trained from previous sports started showing and people actually like it a lot. But I had short visit in my country this year and ppl were looking at me as if I'm an alien. There will always be limited people who point you - but you should pity them.
you are what you eat
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11-03-2012, 08:20 AM #11
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11-03-2012, 09:24 AM #12
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I just ignore it. Some people have this ideal that in order to be feminine you have to be skinny. Some people think soft curves are sexy. I happen to think that muscle is sexy. You will never please everyone and as long as YOU are happy, then that is all that matters.
Everyone has their opinions and you know that they compare opinions to right?Last edited by Jleef612; 11-03-2012 at 09:25 AM. Reason: wrong word choice
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11-03-2012, 10:35 PM #13
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I love when people make comments like that, and it only fuels me to go further. If you look like you lift at all (especially being a female) then non lifting people will look at you like you're the hulk when you wear a tank top lulz. Regular people these days are so scrawny srs.
Current PRs:
Bench Press: 200x1
Deads: 315x1
Back Squats: 275x1
*Team Amazon* - Sisterhood of Iron
*Log - There's a Ham in the Power Rack, Part II http://forum.bodybuilding.com/showthread.php?t=167311531
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11-03-2012, 10:49 PM #14
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11-05-2012, 02:51 PM #15
nvrstopworking
cheeeeee,man,Bulgaria lol close enough! :}}}}} Guess we're all the same at the Eastern European block
Should open a theme concerning world wide aesthetics - in Japan they used to stick their feet in crazy tight shoes so they stay undeveloped - this was considered sexy; in Africa they put those rings around the neck to make it longer;
This makes me think - what a wonderful century we live in! :]]]]you are what you eat
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11-05-2012, 03:40 PM #16
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11-05-2012, 04:18 PM #17
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11-05-2012, 05:50 PM #18
Yeah I got that message loud and clear over on MyFitnessPal.com when a friend there posted a topic about my progress and put a link to my blog. The shizzz storm that resulted was epic. Pages of people calling me "gross" and "disgusting" and such. I get it. Some people don't like muscle on women (and I don't even have that much). Some don't like the lean chiseled look either. That's fine. Everyone is entitled to their own opinion... and while I respect that... I also don't give a shizz what they think. It's MY body. These are MY goals. I made a blog post in response to that whole fiasco and here is a quote from it...
"If you are utterly disgusted by the notion of wrapping your arms around a girl like me... I have some great news for you... you'll never have the privilege of enduring that kind of torture. :P"
^^Boom. nuff said.
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11-05-2012, 06:02 PM #19
WTF, you look frigging awesome!!!
Here's how I see it: we all have our preferences, nothing wrong with that. What is wrong is:
1) Insulting people for it. Sorry, I don't care what your preferences are, but if they give you the need to insult those who don't fit your standards, YOU are the one with the problem.
2) Trying to tell people what to do. Others don't necessarily want to fit YOUR standards. Deal with it. You don't control people and you shouldn't try to either. People don't exist to do what you want. Their purpose in life is NOT to please YOU. How arrogant can you possibly be to expect others to conform to your standards? Who made you the boss?Follow my 2018 competition prep here:
https://forum.bodybuilding.com/showthread.php?t=175566421&p=1547462721#post1547462721
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11-05-2012, 06:14 PM #20
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What irritates me is the double standard that people think it is quite ok to make remarks about women with muscle such as "disgusting" and "nasty" and "gross." There is a ******** page I follow and there was a picture posted of a girl with a rocking 6-pack and asking if it was too much or just right. You should have seen it - one person even said the girl has obvious mental problems because she doesn't know when enough is enough. I know the look is not for everyone and many people don't like it - but if there were a picture of an obese person and there were remarks like "disgusting" and "gross" about that person, there would be a sh*tstorm and anyone who said those things would be flamed to hell.
In the end, you can't care or let it bother you. If you're happy about how you look, that's all that matters. If a guy doesn't like a girl with muscle, or finds muscle unattractive, then he's not the guy for me. If anyone else in my life doesn't like it or thinks it's unattractive, I just hope they have the decency to keep that opinion to themselves. It's never ok to make a derogatory remark about someone's appearance.Danielle xoxo
#TEAM HYPE
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11-05-2012, 06:26 PM #21
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11-05-2012, 06:35 PM #22
I agree with the previous two posters. Can you imagine how these people would react if you turned around and said "well actually, I find your cellulite really disgusting".... afterall that is an "opinion" to which one it "entitled". It's just common decency to filter those thoughts that are likely to upset someone.
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11-05-2012, 06:38 PM #23
Yes! I have had more than one $hitstorms around here with trolls who'd come here just to say muscle on women is gross, they look like men, they probably have a dick, etc etc. When I call them trolls, they try to wiggle their way out of it saying that's their personal preference, we are all entitled to our preferences, blah blah. Yeah you are entitled to your preferences. You are NOT entitled to insult people, you moron.
Follow my 2018 competition prep here:
https://forum.bodybuilding.com/showthread.php?t=175566421&p=1547462721#post1547462721
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11-05-2012, 06:48 PM #24
I don't get that either... how it's ok somehow to say negative things about someone who is exceptionally fit or lean but if you call out someone who is "fat"... well that is just not tolerated. I had a person comment on my blog basically to insult me and point out my "flaws" as well. This was part of my reply...
"...Now, having said that, I must wonder if you are the type of person that also goes around pointing out other people's hump noses, disproportionately large ears, buck teeth, or perhaps even their acne-proned skin. You are certainly entitled to your opinions and, by all means, feel free to comment on them. Do so, however, with the full knowledge that people are going to make assumptions about your character based on your words. I have put myself out there and I am prepared to accept the criticism that comes with that. Are you?"
^^I agree with sy2502... just because one has "opinions" doesn't mean it's acceptable or classy to share them.
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11-05-2012, 06:58 PM #25
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11-05-2012, 07:01 PM #26
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I was all over people on this page - and people kept telling ME to calm down. Why? Because it's just an opinion and people are entitled to it. What a joke. When I challenged them and asked if they'd have the same thing to say about an obese person, not one of them answered me. Except this moron who went on and on saying the girl had body dysmorphic disorder and other mental problems because no one in their right mind would want to look like that. Completely forgetting the woman in the picture is a real person with real feelings.
Finally, I just said, "You know what? How would you feel if that was your daughter in that picture and people were saying she was gross and disgusting and disturbing and nasty? When you knew she worked her AZZ off for that body? Would you like it? Maybe those are terms you'd understand." Not one answered me.Danielle xoxo
#TEAM HYPE
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11-05-2012, 08:56 PM #27
You remember that kid in elementary school who came and poked you or spread rumors about you? Chances are he wanted your attention and was admiring. Same **** for people.
People tell me, you're too skinny, you're too fat, you're too X. Haters are gonna hate. Tell them to **** off.
I lost weight from 250 to 140 and everyone was busting my nuts about how anorexic I had become(even though I did it through cardio and less calories not puking in a toilet bowl) because I was in better shape than them. I told them they didn't know what healthy was if it hit them in the face.
I then took a break from the gym for a while due to other reasons and now that I'm back trying to put on muscle people are like "You look fine, eewww your thigh muscle is growing, etc."
Tell them to F*CK OFF! Seriously, ignore their comments unless they are helping you achieve your fitness goals. Who needs people that are going to be negative and put you down? True friends support your goals unless it's something like killing yourself. Get new friends, and if it's your family tell them to **** off and get educated. 100% serious.
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11-06-2012, 02:38 AM #28
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11-06-2012, 12:38 PM #29
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11-06-2012, 09:41 PM #30
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