Parents please help

[Dad_in_KC]

All -

I have not been active on this forum for a few years now - long story. My post is not about me however. My wife and I were in a car accident recently - we were broad-sided by a 17 yr old boy driving over 90 mph on a residential street. We all escaped serious injury. Immediately after the accident a car load of the kid's friends pulled up - the kid driving the car that hit us threw a small bag into the car that had pulled up. While we were waiting for the cops and paramedics to arrive we found two used needles in the debris field. The kid who hit us had a body that was not consistent with a 17 yr old boy - if that makes sense. My wife and I were driving to the same gym that the kid was coming from - after I found the needles I asked the kid if he had been at the gym and he said he had. It is possible from all of the circumstantial evidence that the kid is using some type of illegal drug - I suspect some type of steroid. I am not making any judgements here regarding gear used by adults - however as a parent I feel compelled to at least discuss the circumstances and what I found at the scene with the boy's father who called me recently to apologize for his son's driving. The "evidence" in summary:

- We saw the driver toss a small bag into the car driven by his buddies. The bag looked like a shaving kit.
- We recovered two used needles at the scene of the accident.
- The kid had the body of an adult body builder
- The kid was driving over 100 mph on a side street where the speed limit is 35 mph

Am I over reacting? If it were your son would you want me to call you to at least make you aware of what I found?

Thank you for any advise on this -

MM

EDIT: The driver's car was going 90 mph when he hit us - he was driving over 100 mph prior to that. The skid marks confirmed the rates of speed. Just did not want to sound inconsistent with the facts.

[BloodySalad]

TBH, I'd keep my nose out of another family's business.

Driving at 100mph has nothing to do with gear but everything to do with being a young, teenage ass-hole.
You only have suspicions, not proof. There's a chance, however slim, that the pins were nothing to do with steroids. You could be making accusations which turn out to be false. If I were the boy's father, you accused him and there turned out to be a perfectly reasonable explanation, I wouldn't be happy with you.

[Dad_in_KC]

Understood - thanks for the reply

[mjf100215]

I'd agree with the advice given. I'd worry about the wreck and let the rest go.

[azstrengthcoach]

I don't really see how a teen going 100 is "evidence" of steroids. Maybe he was, maybe he wasn't, point is your evidence is flimsy at best and you're opening a can of worms you probably don't want to

[nicktougas17]

I am not a parent but just to play devil's adocate, if your suspisions are right and you do tell his father it may end up saving the kid from the effects of what he may be using down the road. its tough but if you feel strongly about it you may be better to act rather than not act and wish you had

[Dad_in_KC]

Yeah that is why I quoted the word evidence in my post.... I guess there is no connection between extremely risky behavior and steroid use. My bad. I have heard enough here. Thanks all. This post can be closed.

[Dad_in_KC]

Thanks you Nick - much appreciated.

[ericdose]

All -

I have not been active on this forum for a few years now - long story. My post is not about me however. My wife and I were in a car accident recently - we were broad-sided by a 17 yr old boy driving over 90 mph on a residential street. We all escaped serious injury. Immediately after the accident a car load of the kid's friends pulled up - the kid driving the car that hit us threw a small bag into the car that had pulled up. While we were waiting for the cops and paramedics to arrive we found two used needles in the debris field. The kid who hit us had a body that was not consistent with a 17 yr old boy - if that makes sense. My wife and I were driving to the same gym that the kid was coming from - after I found the needles I asked the kid if he had been at the gym and he said he had. It is possible from all of the circumstantial evidence that the kid is using some type of illegal drug - I suspect some type of steroid. I am not making any judgements here regarding gear used by adults - however as a parent I feel compelled to at least discuss the circumstances and what I found at the scene with the boy's father who called me recently to apologize for his son's driving. The "evidence" in summary:

- We saw the driver toss a small bag into the car driven by his buddies. The bag looked like a shaving kit.
- We recovered two used needles at the scene of the accident.
- The kid had the body of an adult body builder
- The kid was driving over 100 mph on a side street where the speed limit is 35 mph

Am I over reacting? If it were your son would you want me to call you to at least make you aware of what I found?

Thank you for any advise on this -

MM

EDIT: The driver's car was going 90 mph when he hit us - he was driving over 100 mph prior to that. The skid marks confirmed the rates of speed. Just did not want to sound inconsistent with the facts.

If it was my kid I'd appreciate it if someone told me of their suspicions. Just be careful how you phrase it. Don't want to sound like you're saying you know their son is on it, just that you saw this and thought they might want to look into it. Using that at such a young age could have negative rammifications on his health later in life.

[cgc]

OP, sorry to hear about the accident and no offense but I'm going to move this to the Misc section of the OV35 sub-forum.

Take care
cgc

[gray73]

All -

I have not been active on this forum for a few years now - long story. My post is not about me however. My wife and I were in a car accident recently - we were broad-sided by a 17 yr old boy driving over 90 mph on a residential street. We all escaped serious injury. Immediately after the accident a car load of the kid's friends pulled up - the kid driving the car that hit us threw a small bag into the car that had pulled up. While we were waiting for the cops and paramedics to arrive we found two used needles in the debris field. The kid who hit us had a body that was not consistent with a 17 yr old boy - if that makes sense. My wife and I were driving to the same gym that the kid was coming from - after I found the needles I asked the kid if he had been at the gym and he said he had. It is possible from all of the circumstantial evidence that the kid is using some type of illegal drug - I suspect some type of steroid. I am not making any judgements here regarding gear used by adults - however as a parent I feel compelled to at least discuss the circumstances and what I found at the scene with the boy's father who called me recently to apologize for his son's driving. The "evidence" in summary:

- We saw the driver toss a small bag into the car driven by his buddies. The bag looked like a shaving kit.
- We recovered two used needles at the scene of the accident.
- The kid had the body of an adult body builder
- The kid was driving over 100 mph on a side street where the speed limit is 35 mph

Am I over reacting? If it were your son would you want me to call you to at least make you aware of what I found?

Thank you for any advise on this -

MM

EDIT: The driver's car was going 90 mph when he hit us - he was driving over 100 mph prior to that. The skid marks confirmed the rates of speed. Just did not want to sound inconsistent with the facts.

My opinion is the parents of this kid probably already know. My son is 16 and if he had the body of an adult bodybuilder, I would know if he was using or not.
Sorry about the accident though and with that kid going so fast it's amazing there were no injuries. Glad you and your wife and that kid didn't get hurt.

[erinlee01]

Fact is, you have suspicions. That's it. I wouldn't go to someone's parent, especially one I didn't know, unless I KNEW. And fact is, it's your opinion that he had the body of an adult bodybuilder. How many have you seen IRL to make that comparison?

[KRANE]

These are two unrelated incidents the latter of which is not your concern. Stick to the parts that directly effect you and leave the rest alone. I think the teen and his father have enough woe for one day. BTW, it's unlike you or anyone else would have survived a 90mph crash.

[Trinity1216]

OP I would not say anything, you are jumping to conclusions. How do you know for a fact that the needles came from his car and were not already on the ground?

Plus have you seen what most 17 yo boys that eat healthy and train look like nowadays? I had 14yo boys in my football league that looked like they were 20. Kids today do not look anything like kids did 25-30 years ago. Don't be so judgmental and just worry about you and your family.

[Sen8or]

Other than the kid working out at the same gym(?) do you have any association or relationship with either him or his parents?

Whats the worst that can happen if you raise your suspicions with the parents? If they aren't friends now, does it really matter how they initially react? Sure, its likely that there will be some abuse etc if they react defensively, but once the knee jerk reaction is over with, it may get some discussions going in the family concerned.

If you take it from the perspective that you are trying to prevent harm to their child, then it would be pretty difficult for them to take your position negatively.

I would rather hear someones concerns about my child than for something to happen and then the dirty laundry gets aired.

Sen

[crupiea]

so the kid hits you going 90 mph and you are concerened that even the suggestion of wrongdoing is going to hurt someones feelings?

Thats crazy.

Talk to the parents, you dont have to be a dick about it but mention it at least.

worst case you are wrong and still have a totalled car.

[bigvin73]

These are two unrelated incidents the latter of which is not your concern. Stick to the parts that directly effect you and leave the rest alone. I think the teen and his father have enough woe for one day. BTW, it's unlike you or anyone else would have survived a 90mph crash.

^^^^this and saved me typing the last line. Gonna call bullshiet

[Corbi]

Everyone knows steroid use causes you to drive like a maniac with total disregard for anyone or anything...insert roll eyes jpg.

[Trinity1216]

I have a question for you OP.

But if a cop sees needles laying by an accident, I think they would be suspicious. They question the kid?

You are making a lot of assumptions here. Maybe he is a diabetic, or is on medication that requires injections. And yes there are lots of meds people take that require injections. People with severe migraines, or those that are extremely allergic to bee stings.

I am very happy that you and the wife are ok. But, something does not seem right with your story. Someone who gets hit by a car going 90mph, I would say at the very least you would be in shock and stunned, I am not sure how you were able to keep your wits about you and notice needles on the ground.

[bigvin73]

I have a question for you OP.

But if a cop sees needles laying by an accident, I think they would be suspicious. They question the kid?

You are making a lot of assumptions here. Maybe he is a diabetic, or is on medication that requires injections. And yes there are lots of meds people take that require injections. People with severe migraines, or those that are extremely allergic to bee stings.

I am very happy that you and the wife are ok. But, something does not seem right with your story. Someone who gets hit by a car going 90mph, I would say at the very least you would be in shock and stunned, I am not sure how you were able to keep your wits about you and notice needles on the ground.

Or maybe it's all bullashiet!!!!!

[Trinity1216]

Or maybe it's all bullashiet!!!!!

Well that could be an option as well. But I think we should wait to hear the OPs response

[bigvin73]

Well that could be an option as well. But I think we should wait to hear the OPs response

Doubtful he responds

[dbx]

so the kid hits you going 90 mph and you are concerened that even the suggestion of wrongdoing is going to hurt someones feelings?

Thats crazy.

Talk to the parents, you dont have to be a dick about it but mention it at least.

worst case you are wrong and still have a totalled car.

^^^^^^^^^The only responsible reply in this thread.

LOL, and we wonder what's wrong with today's world

[Smelly bull]

Being that the OP is 6' 167# with no pic, maybe he should hit the kid up for his source.


No offense to anyone 6' 167#, yes I understand everyone has different goals, blah, blah, blah.

[Frnkd]

if the law suit to follow indicate that the boy was under the influence of something, only blood test would reveal this, and was one done to determine if alcohol or other substance was in his system, than I would not say anything except to your lawyer. Hey, it may lead to a better settlement if there is a link with substance that he maybe using, illegal or not.

I am assuming that there is some settlement here, or criminal charges pressed.

If you are not, you are a saint, well you may just be as the tone of your post is not one of anger or pain, but concern.

[whatevergirl]

While I would want to know as a parent, not sure I'd tell this boy's dad, based on speculation/assumption.
I suppose if you were to tell the boy's dad, and your assumption was wrong, there's no harm. If your assumption was right, then the dad at least knows, and can handle properly from that point on. (if he doesn't know, already)

Glad you're ok, OP. That had to be quite a scare!

[Frnkd]

Not suing people makes you a saint?????

In today's world or in America, suing for anything that causes you "pain" seems to be the course of action. Compassion if that is the right word to describe a "saintly" character appears lost. The op not mentioning that he is taking that action or even considering it can only be considered "saintly", IMO.

Forgiveness is another one of those saintly characteristics, again IMO, though that may not preclude you from suing.

Maybe this is another action the op may ask, should he or should he not file a suit?

[sartimist]

OP, the alleged possible steroid use has nothing to do with the reckless driving and subsequent "accident".
If you absolutely feel compelled as a parent to tell his parents that he's using illegal compounds, then mail an anonymous letter stating that "so-and-so is using steroids and maybe you should know". Don't indicate who you are or refer to the "accident" at all. Then your conscience is clear. But definitely don't openly stick your nose into this matter.

[Barry Bonds]

They don't give that stuff away. Every "kid" I know who's juicing, mom and dad are buying. Don't waste your time and get a "MYOB" from the enabling parents of a teenage fool to go on top of what you're already dealing with.

[whatevergirl]

**Deleted my initial reply to you, frnkd, as you are just wondering if the OP should file a suit. You're not suggesting he should.

That said...bodily injury and phys damage should be covered under the 'at fault' party's insurance policy. With some accidents, depending on the severity, mental anguish, taking time off work, the stress of the ordeal, etc can come into play. Many people do sue for that, and win. From the days when I sold auto/home insurance, I remember seeing this from both sides, and it's hard to judge when you see the affected parties. Some people who sue have no real reason to be suing, and sometimes win. Some people who have a true case, and sue, end up losing. It can be disheartening at times, to see either side.

Where's Meatpants? Since he is in this business, it would be nice to gain his perspective.