I found a stethoscope and a prescription pad under our bed today.
His friend says, "Well my wife is apparently cheating with a railroad conductor"
First guy says "How do you know?"
"I found a ****in railroad conductor under the bed"
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11-25-2010, 10:17 AM #1
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11-25-2010, 10:19 AM #2
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11-25-2010, 10:23 AM #3
A man is walking and stumbles uopn a magic lamp. And out comes a genie. The genie says i will grant you three wishes and what ever you wish for you're wife gets double.
Man: i wish for a new car.
Genie: you're wife gets double
Man: i wish for a mansion
Genie: you're wife gets double
For his final wish the man says: Beat me half to death.No fap day 6 (updated daily)
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11-25-2010, 10:34 AM #4
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11-25-2010, 10:35 AM #5
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11-25-2010, 10:38 AM #6
- Join Date: Apr 2008
- Location: Boston, Massachusetts, United States
- Age: 35
- Posts: 10,410
- Rep Power: 24359
A guy gets sent to prison for 5 years. As soon as he's locked in his cell a huge black guy gets off of the bunkbeds and says "You have a choice, you can either be the husband or the wife." The newly jailed guy thinks to himself: well I sure as **** ain't gonna be the wife and he tells the black guy "Ill be the husband."
Then the black guy says...
"Okay then, get over here and suck your wife's dick."
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11-25-2010, 10:38 AM #7
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11-25-2010, 10:41 AM #8
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11-25-2010, 10:42 AM #9
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11-25-2010, 10:45 AM #10
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11-25-2010, 10:48 AM #11
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11-25-2010, 10:50 AM #12
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11-25-2010, 10:50 AM #13
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11-25-2010, 10:53 AM #14
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11-25-2010, 10:54 AM #15
- Join Date: Nov 2008
- Location: Oregon, United States
- Age: 38
- Posts: 4,248
- Rep Power: 26328
why does snoop dog carry an umbrella?
for drizzle†Misc Car Crew†
2000 Corvette Frc. 427 stroker. 560rwhp/500rwtq
♠Misc Strength Crew♠ Forever bulking
Bench - 530- 10/17/14
Squat - 570- 6/8/16
Deadlift -475 (not current)
Total- 1570
My 530 lb bench press at 237 lbs
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QS1i0sRS1xw
I rep back 10k+
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11-25-2010, 11:00 AM #16
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11-25-2010, 11:03 AM #17
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11-25-2010, 11:06 AM #18
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11-25-2010, 11:06 AM #19
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11-25-2010, 12:07 PM #20
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11-25-2010, 12:10 PM #21
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11-25-2010, 12:12 PM #22
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11-25-2010, 12:12 PM #23
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11-25-2010, 12:15 PM #24
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11-25-2010, 12:17 PM #25
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11-25-2010, 12:18 PM #26
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11-25-2010, 12:25 PM #27
A Jewish pilot and a Chinese co-pilot are getting ready for take-off and immediately you can tell the two hate eachother. When the plane reached cruising altitude, the jewish pilot set the plane on auto-pilot and quietly muttered to himself "i dont like chinese"
The chinese co-pilot said "you no like chinese, why you no like"?
jewish pilot: "Because you guys bombed pearl harbor"
chinese: "dat not us dat japanese"
Jewish: "Chinese, japanese, all the same s.hit"
Chinese: "well i no like jews"
Jewish: "why not"
Chinese: "You guys sank the titanic"
Jewish: "That wasnt us, that was an iceberg"
Chinese: "Iceberg, goldberg, all the same s.hit."
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11-25-2010, 01:53 PM #28
- Join Date: Apr 2008
- Location: Boston, Massachusetts, United States
- Age: 35
- Posts: 10,410
- Rep Power: 24359
A plane flying over a jungle malfunctions and crashes. The only survivor, a middle aged man, climbs out of the wreckage and starts to explore the area around the crash site. The man finds some water and food and shortly afterward he is surrounded by a tribe of natives who heard the huge commotion and followed the smoke spewing out of the plane. One of the spear wielding natives comes forward and explains to the man in crude English, "You only have two choices, death or tomba." The man, fearful for his life after just surviving a plane crash agrees to the tomba.
The next day, after being ass ****ed by all the men in the tribe, the same native asks the man again, "Today is a new day, death or tomba?" The man, sobbing from the cruelty and physical pain decides he cannot go through another tomba ritual, and that he would rather keep his dignity and die, so he asks for death.
So the natives tomba'd him to death
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11-25-2010, 03:22 PM #29
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11-25-2010, 03:37 PM #30
Two men are canoeing through a rain forest when they hit rapids and wash up on the river's edge. A nearby village of cannibals hears them and they are immediately taken prisoner. The two men are taken to the tribe's leader, who tells them, "First we're going to kill you, then we're going to eat you, and finally we're going to use your skins to waterproof our canoes. We're not savages, though - we'll let you choose how you die."
The first man says, "I'm Japanese, so give me a samurai sword." They give him a sword and he carries out seppuku. The second man says, "I'm a New Yorker, so give me a fork." The cannibals are confused, but get the man a fork, and he proceeds to stab himself multiple times all over his body.
"Why are you doing this?" asks the tribe's leader.
"To hell with your canoes," replies the New Yorker.
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