The lesson on "love" every man must learn,when was yours?

[NYY]

First chick I sort of went out with stopped talking to me after 3 months. I wonder WTF was up and went on her ******** and saw she listed herself in a relationship with another dude. Had to get off the computer really fast after seeing that, as it was a huge shock to me at the time. Another incident happened a few months later which was basically me acting like a wuss. That made me realize what I had to do and been working on it ever since. But definitely looking back all those negative things that have happened have had positive results and a positive influence on me.

hey just a reminder that there actually some girls out there that are nice, beautiful, and thrustworthy.... not all girls sleep around... I been with my husband for 7 years married for 2!!! It's was not always easy but you work thru it...
Maybe you guys just don't pick the right one... maybe try some average girls instead of 9/10... just a thought

How come all the women on here feel compelled to say the same **** (like above) whenever a thread like this is made? What are you gonna tell me next; WW2 is over and the Berlin Wall has fallen?

[Atlas_Army]

So what's weaker...

Me: who lays his cards out and doesn't have an emotional attachment to the outcome thus making me free to be myself at all times without trepidation.

or

You: who hides his true feelings and true self for fear of being judged and therefore always has to maintain a false sense of identity.


when I was 20 I wouldn't have agreed with me either. However, you don't know what you don't know. Just say'n.

well see the difference is I don't want an emotional attachement so being vulnerable is not something that is useful for me. Whats more I don't have to hide my "true self", how I am on the interweb/gaming/real life scenarios is the same.

Its the same concept I bring to workplaces, i'll be me but no point will I go about whining or divulging my deepest feelings. I don't feel better because I poured my heart out to someone, never have. My emotions do not stem from a lack of reciprocity on someone else's part. So in that sense if nobody can really help with emotional struggles that are at the root my own cause, why share it?


nawhatamsayin?

[hublife]

well see the difference is I don't want an emotional attachement

this is all you had to say. At your age I don't blame you for not wanting any type of serious relationship.

It's all about the "goal". If your goal is to have a meaningful, honest relationship that has long term potential then it would benefit you to listen to what I'm saying. But if you're a young guy and you're just trying to have fun and chase tail then you can do it your way.


That being said, I've always operated this way and I've been very happy with the results.

[SwayWay]

I call BS! I know plenty of women, myself included who don't give a rats ass about "status" and provisioning- this isn't 1952. Everyone wants a sense of security in a relationship and it has nothing to do with money. I love my husband with all my heart, regardless of what I may be feeling at the moment- emotions change far to quickly to base a relationship off of them.

Yea if your husband lost his job, became useless and the opportunity arises we all know the first thing you do is trade up. Anyone with half a brain and experience with women knows status/power are all women respond to. Nothing wrong with that its just how your biologically wired from evolution. That's a fact.

I could qoute you back all your nonsense responses but its like arguing with a nagging rag. For any younger guys reading this: just know this is exactly why you never take advice from a women. Ever. They speak utter nonsense. Resort to personal attacks etc. Tottally useless as they are unable to be objective and self aware on their own behaviors. It's something you'll have to learn on your own through experience of course.

[SmoothyKing]

Yea if your husband lost his job, became useless and the opportunity arises we all know the first thing you do is trade up. Anyone with half a brain and experience with women knows status/power are all women respond to. Nothing wrong with that its just how your biologically wired from evolution. That's a fact.

I could qoute you back all your nonsense responses but its like arguing with a nagging rag. For any younger guys reading this: just know this is exactly why you never take advice from a women. Ever. They speak utter nonsense. Resort to personal attacks etc. Tottally useless as they are unable to be objective and self aware on their own behaviors. It's something you'll have to learn on your own through experience of course.

i only know of 1 girl whos like the ultimate girl. chill as **** TOTALLY objective understands herself, her sexuality, men, and a man's sexuality (for the most part) recognizes the differences and is a VERY, i repeat VERY reasonable person. the catch? shes a hippy. shes smokes mad weed (nothing wrong with that) and trips out here and there not really my cup of tea OH and shes butt ugly but god damn is she cool

[SwayWay]

i only know of 1 girl whos like the ultimate girl. chill as **** TOTALLY objective understands herself, her sexuality, men, and a man's sexuality (for the most part) recognizes the differences and is a VERY, i repeat VERY reasonable person. the catch? shes a hippy. shes smokes mad weed (nothing wrong with that) and trips out here and there not really my cup of tea OH and shes butt ugly but god damn is she cool

There's an exception to every rule.... unfortunetly everyone thinks their that exception. 99% of the time their not.

[ExclusiveStarr]

Yea if your husband lost his job, became useless and the opportunity arises we all know the first thing you do is trade up. Anyone with half a brain and experience with women knows status/power are all women respond to. Nothing wrong with that its just how your biologically wired from evolution. That's a fact.

I could qoute you back all your nonsense responses but its like arguing with a nagging rag. For any younger guys reading this: just know this is exactly why you never take advice from a women. Ever. They speak utter nonsense. Resort to personal attacks etc. Tottally useless as they are unable to be objective and self aware on their own behaviors. It's something you'll have to learn on your own through experience of course.

My husband blew out his knee and was out of work for almost a year. I stuck around because my husband means more to me than status/power and my vows mean something to me as well, so that at arguement is null and void.

Men are biologically wired to spread their seed, women are biologically wired to mate for life, not trade up. Using your logic, all men are programmed to cheat and when they do, then it's not their fault- which is crap. I don't believe all men are cheaters any more than I believe all women are mindless golddiggers.

You're acting as if most men have status/power/money to begin with, when the fact is that most people work 9-5 jobs and have no position of status/power or importance in the big scheme of things. In fact most people are living from paycheck to paycheck and plenty of they find worthwhile relationships. Sure you have a few people of both sexes who are after status, but anybody who knows anything will tell you that it's not worth ****- go to Hollywood and look around, there are men and women who walk around clamoring for the top spot and the second they lose their looks/money/popularity they're a nobody. But that's not the real world and people who wrap their self worth in that crap are a waste of space.

Maybe the problem is the kind of woman your attracting/attracted to.

[elephino]

There's a difference between exhibiting behaviors that women find attractive and being the kind of man that a woman can stay attracted to. When you play games like "don't tell them how you feel, don't compliment them" etc., all you're doing is emulating behaviors you see in successful males. But you, yourself, are not becoming a successful male. In the long run, it's a facade, and it's going to break down and you're gonna be alone.

Here's an example of the games you're playing, translated into reality:

Game:
"Don't fawn over a woman, don't compliment, don't tell her your feelings, don't treat her too good, be an a55hole, etc."

Reality:
Women want strong, independent men who are leaders, who have direction, who have purpose, and who know what they want out of life. When a good woman comes along, a real man will know that she enhances his life, but she shouldn't be his purpose in life. She is appreciated, but not needed.

As soon as you forsake your vision and make your life about a woman, you've lost your purpose, and are therefore not attractive. No matter how good you are to the woman, she is biologically wired to find a provider and a protector, and the the house-husband is the antithesis of that ideal.

Once you become whipped, you are no longer a good provider, and the woman gets uneasy. After all, if she can change your vision and your purpose, anybody can. So how can she trust you to take care of her?

Action:
Don't ignore women and withhold your emotions. Get yourself into a state where you are happy, accomplished, and need nothing. Know what you want and go after it. Then when a woman comes along, you want her to be there, and not need her to. When that happens, feel free to tell her you appreciate her - you won't come off as needy or clingy, because you aren't.

Never sacrifice your vision or direction for a woman. They WILL test you here. They will yell and threaten and argue and beg for you to change. Don't. They're testing your confidence and your ability to achieve your vision.

Don't get mad, don't be mean. If you get defensive, they know you're insecure about your decision. Just be confident in the fact that what you're doing is the best thing for you, and thus for her. And don't compromise. Let her know she's free to leave if she disagrees with your purpose.

But, for the love of god, be honest with your woman. If you think telling her how you feel makes you a beta *******, then you probably are a beta *******. Don't lie and deceive and withhold your emotions -- change yourself for the better. Then you can just be yourself and drop all the stupid games.


Cliffs:
* Acting like an ass is only emulating the role of a strong male.
* It's better to become one, then just be yourself.

[ExclusiveStarr]

So much bold text. Look, it's okay. Really. No one's faulting you for seeking status and provisioning -- it's just the way women are. As for your claim that you know plenty of women who don't give a rat's ass about "status" and "provisioning" -- please let me know how many of these women are with/married to men who provide for them, and how many of these women would stay with their men if he suddenly became bankrupt.

Plenty of couples go through bankruptcy everyday and make it through fine. . . like I said, most men don't have status. As far as provisions/money goes, people are all basically the same in wanting stability. In a dating relationship no man wants to be with a women with bad credit or lots of debt anymore than a woman wants to be with a man with the same issues. Name one man who wants a chick with $30,000 in debt, so do you blame a woman who doesn't want to be with a man who has the same amount of debt? If a person has debt/bad credit before you met them and you still choose to pursue that then you know what you're getting yourself into. I think the problem is that a lot a people choose to be irresponsible overextending, over leveraging, and overspending and then expecting the other person to stick around when they were the ones who were irresponsible. I mean get real- who wants to trust their heart to a person who can't even be trusted with their own money?

Sort of agree. The only distinction is that there are plenty of men out there (from personal experience as well as anecdotal stories) that demonstrate trust, loyalty, honor, love, compassion, and respect.

From women? Can't trust women -- hell, even women don't trust other women. Loyalty? Honor? And sure, women are great at showing compassion to stray dogs at animal shelters (and I guess to kids but I'd hesitate to go that far) but...

And let's not even get into respect.

Go to a hospital. . . women don't become nurses for the paycheck, compassion goes far beyond stray dogs. You don't have to look any further for loyalty or honor than our own military- women who will fight and die beside any man for that loyalty/honor. And as far as respect goes- I respect God, my country, my husband and the sanctity of life. . . aside from that respect is earned. There are too many people who walk around and act like **** is owed to them simply because their taking up space in this world. I'll respect someone as a human being but I don't have to respect who they are as a person if they don't give me a reason to.

Agree.



Please name a woman who became more attractive with age. (srs) But this is a silly premise to begin with.



Agreed.



Agreed.

I agree it is a silly premise. Kate Winslet, Cindy Crawford, Iman, Halle Berry, Christie Brinkley have all gotten more attractive. . . they really don't have to try as hard with makeup/clothes/creative lighting and instead it comes effortlessly but attractiveness is very subjective.

Men can play mind games. But we don't want to. The difference is that even though women claim they don't want to play games even as the untruths flow from their mouths they are playing and creating the rules for the game.

There is not a single woman out there who doesn't play mind games in relationships. Just think on the "it's nothing"s to the "it's not what you said it's how you said it"s to the "does my ass look fat in these pant"s.

This is the difference between men and boys and betwen women and girls. Age has nothing to do with maturity and if a person is playing games then that's obviously a sign that they're not worth your time.

My husband and I have a very straight forward kind of communication, if I'm pissed and he asks me what's wrong, I say I'll talk about it when I'm good and ready. If I ask my husband if I look fat then I sure as hell want to know the truth- don't lie to me, tell me that I need to get my ass in the gym. On the same note, he's always very respectful about it and makes sure to tell me that I'm beautiful on a regular basis; because he doesn't play games either. A real woman doesn't play games and a real man doesn't put up with that crap.

[CLandry]

yeah, some positive vibes!

i know what this thread is filled with and what most guys here generalize girls as, are just that, generalizations. Sure alot of girls are cold and stuff, but that's why you dont end up with them...because they weren't the right ones for you. You needed to break up with them so you can find the right person for you.

Generalizations are true, they aren't stereotypes. There's so many "those kind of girls" what are the chances you meet someone good for once?

[tyrek04]

A woman can NEVER be your purpose. You purpose should be you and your vision of what you want to achieve.

Women don't "love" men. They love the emotions men give them, they love the provisioning, they love the security, the status, but at the end of the day you are a dispensable commodity. Learn to accept that truth and you will finally be at ease.

There are so many bitches out there the chances of finding someone who's not going to emotionally destroy you and feel no remorse is probably worse than winning the lottery.

Trust/loyalty/honor those are are purely masculine traits. Women are like wind/ocean they move to their current state of emotions so those concepts dont hold value.

Think about it man's best friend is the dog, loyal as loyal can be. Will follow it's owner to the grave. Women's best friend is the the diamond something that has practical use but not appreciated by women for its practical use, but more for its beauty/the excitement and emotions it triggers.

The girl i opened up to was killed in a car accident 6 years ago... i think that's what messed me up with women

I call it being "unplugged from the matrix", where you're really learning how to breathe for the first time. Like you can see females as they are, and not the bs princesses we've all been shown growing up in disney movies and tv shows.

It's funny because I still see guys younger and older who are still "plugged in" and I'm just waiting like Morpheus for them to come up after that ONE girl leaves them and say "welcome to the real world!"

At first I didnt know what "gf" really entailed, so I dumped my first love to bang this little hottie that kept showing me her boobs. Hottie was a tease. Got my ex back, she dumped me for my friend.

Next "gf" just had me come over to fck her while she was babysitting for these people. Found out there were like 3 other guys she called for that too.

next "gf" found a note in her room that was some diary sht saying "why did I cheat on jay?"

next gf got pregnant and moved away, killed the baby by doing sht tons of blow.

next gf had an internet bf and lied to me to go fck him (I was actually engaged to this one after 2 yrs)

That's about when I snapped.

I think it's time you become a hermit my friend.

There's an exception to every rule.... unfortunetly everyone thinks their that exception. 99% of the time their not.

All this **** is soo True im printing it and putting it on my door

[Govithoy]

nah brah more like this:

rofl. I saw a dude exactly like that at a bar in Toronto -- the Cameron House, if any of you Canadian RH'ers are familiar.

[SwayWay]

You're acting as if most men have status/power/money to begin with, when the fact is that most people work 9-5 jobs and have no position of status/power or importance in the big scheme of things

Wow how uninformed of a statement is that. Do you even understand what your saying? Ever heard of a boss sleeping with his secretary? Not examples of power/status in a 9/5 job? Do you even have a high school education or are you going to keep blabbing off utter nonsense?

I call BS! I know plenty of women, myself included who don't give a rats ass about "status" and provisioning- this isn't 1952. Everyone wants a sense of security in a relationship and it has nothing to do with money. I love my husband with all my heart, regardless of what I may be feeling at the moment- emotions change far to quickly to base a relationship off of them.

I mean get real- who wants to trust their heart to a person who can't even be trusted with their own money?

Brahs seriosuly look at the statments above ^^^^ Any contradictions there hunny? This is why I tell guys please dont listen to women for advice. They are so driven by emotions/reactions that they dont even know their own contradictions. Think about it she barges into the thread bolding all her statements because just like in real life its the only way a women can be heard. She has to vent like an angry spoiled little child. LOOK AT ME LOOK AT ME! Attention! I'm right here! Calm down hunny bunny we can hear you.


I'd put money down ExclusiveStarr whose 25? has been married what a few years max. Give it 10-15. Then the nagging will keep getting more and more incesant, then as soon as her husband stops telling her "how beautful you are every day" she'll tart herrself up, divorce him for half his money and be a 40 yr old cougar on the hunt for young meat. Of course , she'll backward rationlize it all as all his fault. You go girl!

[CLandry]

- hottest girl in my year at school
- started dating the girl, thought she was nice etc
- was with her for just over four years (14-18)
- found out she'd been cheating on me for over a year
- she'd had sex with my friends, my colleagues etc (easily 30+ guys)
- my friends said they never told me cos they felt bad

After dash #4 how can you still call them your "friends" in dash #5??

[CLandry]

How about instead you be yourself 100% of the time. You express your feelings unapologetically to whoever the fuk you want and if they dump you/judge you, then you simply move on.

Amen you wise mother****er

[ses1357]

See you were lucky that you didnt get blindsided,the worst hits are the ones you dont see coming.

this...

[devil_s haircut]

women are biologically wired to mate for life

No. They aren't.

[SilverSpork]

No. They aren't.

I'm hard wired to dance on the moon.

[Shiboopi]

Love is very hard to access. 99% of what you feel toward your significant other is lust, infatuation, and ownership.

That "honeymoon" feeling isn't love, it's infatuation. Hard to explain, of course, but I believe love is very hard to get to emotionally.

[LovesMuscles]

Look out for number 1...

[Shawdowfox]

there are worse things than being a single guy at 35.

Like being a single woman at 35.

Or being a single woman.

Or, let's be reality, being a woman.

lol!!

[DrFeeIGood]

There's a difference between exhibiting behaviors that women find attractive and being the kind of man that a woman can stay attracted to. When you play games like "don't tell them how you feel, don't compliment them" etc., all you're doing is emulating behaviors you see in successful males. But you, yourself, are not becoming a successful male. In the long run, it's a facade, and it's going to break down and you're gonna be alone.

Here's an example of the games you're playing, translated into reality:

Game:
"Don't fawn over a woman, don't compliment, don't tell her your feelings, don't treat her too good, be an a55hole, etc."

Reality:
Women want strong, independent men who are leaders, who have direction, who have purpose, and who know what they want out of life. When a good woman comes along, a real man will know that she enhances his life, but she shouldn't be his purpose in life. She is appreciated, but not needed.

As soon as you forsake your vision and make your life about a woman, you've lost your purpose, and are therefore not attractive. No matter how good you are to the woman, she is biologically wired to find a provider and a protector, and the the house-husband is the antithesis of that ideal.

Once you become whipped, you are no longer a good provider, and the woman gets uneasy. After all, if she can change your vision and your purpose, anybody can. So how can she trust you to take care of her?

Action:
Don't ignore women and withhold your emotions. Get yourself into a state where you are happy, accomplished, and need nothing. Know what you want and go after it. Then when a woman comes along, you want her to be there, and not need her to. When that happens, feel free to tell her you appreciate her - you won't come off as needy or clingy, because you aren't.

Never sacrifice your vision or direction for a woman. They WILL test you here. They will yell and threaten and argue and beg for you to change. Don't. They're testing your confidence and your ability to achieve your vision.

Don't get mad, don't be mean. If you get defensive, they know you're insecure about your decision. Just be confident in the fact that what you're doing is the best thing for you, and thus for her. And don't compromise. Let her know she's free to leave if she disagrees with your purpose.

But, for the love of god, be honest with your woman. If you think telling her how you feel makes you a beta *******, then you probably are a beta *******. Don't lie and deceive and withhold your emotions -- change yourself for the better. Then you can just be yourself and drop all the stupid games.


Cliffs:
* Acting like an ass is only emulating the role of a strong male.
* It's better to become one, then just be yourself.

Excellent post, very true! All you young guys take notice of this, and dont expect to be there soon, it takes years to become a real man. Thats why you shouldnt really get serious with women until 25+

[AusPower]

Finally a thread in which the virgins of the relationship help jump on the bandwagon of a few guys who have actually been burned and complain about women being worse than Satan.

The Women here are just as bad for the opposite too.

[dirtyjerz]

read the whole thread so i figured i'd throw in my own piece of story.

i fell hard for the first time when i was 15 (young, i know) long story short, i thought the girl was into me, and then i told her i had feelings for her after a long night of drinking, when i came forward she told me "we can't be friends anymore if you feel like that".

since then i haven't been able to trust a girl past being my friend, sure there are some that i have feelings for but i never say anything for fear that they'll blow it all out of proportion.

like many have said, women aren't loyal. most even turn their backs on friends of the same gender what makes a man any different to them? i have a hard time trusting anyone, women more than other men, they always have ulterior motives for their actions and always seem to think they're gonna out smart you, with their constant giggling to their friends like little school girl *******s.

i'm a little cold hearted when it comes to this stuff, so much so that my cousin even went on to say that i'm "asexual" just no interest in anyone past a friendship as i feel i can function on my own just fine. i don't see a need to just jump into a relationship with any girl that shows interest in me, i'm the man here, it's my decision not yours. due to this, many people joke that i'll be single forever, so be it, if i'm not meant to be in a relationship then that's how it is.

i'll never play some game to woo some women, if some girl truly wants me, my presence should be all it takes, not to sound cocky.

[deadlift375]

my dad left my family at about 42, when I was in 4th grade. Hes an engineer, my moms a nurse. They had about 100k saved up as retirement, he spent it all within a year. My mom had no idea because my father had a private p.o box.

Within this time period my dad lost his job to a q clearance because he refused to take a drug text. My dad would also beat my mother(yes this is ****ed up, but i am getting to my point, no i don't believe in this).

My parents divorced and my dad was jobless, out of contact. my mom busted her ass to give my brother, sister and I a stable home. 7 years later my dad comes back into my life, he got a new job as a international engineer. During this absence of my father my mom has fed me with all this stuff about my dad, and what he did to my family. I have somewhat mentioned it to my dad over phone, and all he has said is you'll understand when your 35.

Reading this thread has made me further question my parents life, I know a lot that my dad did was wrong(i.e abonding my family, and abusing helpless people, i.e women). But maybe a lot my mom has said was all perception?

All this stuff you guys are saying is leaving me with no hope with one day finding a beautiful women to myself. Even stuff I have learned with girls has completely disgusted me, although I don't have many experiences but the current ones I have had to endure.

Currently I just see that it just all relates back to primitive instinct; women are inferior, they just find the better man to survive on. And with the degrade of religious(yes BS, imo, was raised catholic) morals, women, or people in general are just becoming more and more evil.

Thoughts?

[George Costanza]

My first girlfriend talked to her ex daily but since she was the first girl that showed interest in me, I let it slide for WAY too long.

Oh this girl ALSO ****ed my best friend @ the time, while we were dating.


And you think YOU have a jaded view of women...

[varter]

While we're on sweeping generalizations, I'll lend this one that I believe to be indubitably true. Women are simply too picky, stubborn and narcissistic. They have two main goals in the mating game: (1.) to tell 99% of men to get lost and (2.) to get that 1% Mr. Ultra-Desirable to commit to them. This happens every day, and yet they complain that men are all *******s / aren't nice enough / there aren't enough good men out there. Yet it never occurs to them that this 99% of men constitutes their pool of potential lovers, ONS, FBs, boyfriends and especially husbands. Anyway...

My story is not so bad, especially by comparison. My first girlfriend was when I was 16. Love, marriage the whole thing. I used to get harassed by friends of her ex-BF about how her ex-BF (9 years her senior) abused her, got her into drugs, etc. So I walked on eggshells being super attentive and "nice-guy"ish for the whole relationship. It went well for a while until she just slowly lost interest over the course of a few months. She decided a few days before my birthday that we would "take a break" on my bday. Right after my bday party, she told me she loved me and acted completely normal and cheery. The day after, it was done. She said she "just couldn't be in a relationship right now." I was somewhat devastated, but not really until half a week later when I found out she was already dating another dude.

I felt like sh!t for a few months and learned some usual lessons but things didn't really turn around until I came here. I had been a lurker of this forum for a while but mainly stayed in the nutrition and teen section. Then I stumbled on the Misc & the RH, looking for help. I found Sauce-head's sticky "the new formula..." and it was all uphill from there.

[dirtyjerz]

bump

[Namz]

My story:

-17, first gf, first lover,first kiss, first person I ever said "I love you" to. i was her first as well. made plans to get married
-I bent over backwards for her, lost lots of friends to be with her, I'd say 90% of my closest friends left me
-friend caught her sitting on another dude's lap, i did not believe it, thought they were hating that me and this girl were so in love
-a few weeks later got upset over something small and asked her and she admitted it. was choked for a few months. then realized i loved her enough to forgive her and get over it
-get into huge car accident with her best friend in backseat, nobody gets hurt but friend badmouths me and hates me forever
-listens to her friends and dumps me, doesnt give me a chance to change or make things right. doesnt return my calls
-find out shes fooling with this guy and that guy...
- almost 2 years go by and i think ive gotten over her, but still think about her daily so i pour out my heart to her in an email thats the length of an essay. I let another chick friend proof read it, and the chick friend literally sheds tears and said if this bitch doesnt call you back or nothing, she is one cold hearted bitch
-doesnt reply back
-5 years go by, see her at club, chatted for a bit and exchanged numbers, promised to meet me for dinner, blows me off... and i never call her and we stop talking period.


after all that i swore off women and became bitter towards them. i have never told another girl that i love her and never talk about the possibility of marriage with them. i dont care about having a future with another girl. just gave up on the idea of love. stopped believing in it.

[jaykf014]

I'm surprised that it's more common than I thought, that I'm not the only guy with the same viewpoints.

I am still with my first serious girlfriend, and now fiance. We have been together for two years. Before her, I wasn't the most social guy and although I managed to pull a lot of dates, I couldn't keep a girl for longer than a day or two, except to be just friends. Most of the girls I see now where never my type to begin with.

I decided to try things with current girlfriend because she was risky and different. Before I never took risks and played it safe, sticking to one type of girl that I was after. It wasn't working for me, so I thought I would try something new and different and see if that works for me. And it did, so it seemed.

At first the relationship was PERFECT. As time progressed, it became more and more apparent she was simply a selfish, irresponsible, immature, evil woman that had no soul. After we were hooked on each other several months into it, she wants to get engaged because "I'm the man of her dreams". However, she was engaged twice before me and come to find out, the rings she wore on her fingers when we met were her previous engagement rings.

Shortly after that we move in together. I thought it wouldn't be too bad, maybe some fighting, but I'd get to have sex every night. Yeah... that didn't quite happen. Even though we initially agreed to split things 50/50, she was able to manipulate situations so that I eventually ended up paying half of her bills as well. Not only this, but she decided one day that she is entitled to take and write out checks from my checking account. Shortly after, she tells me that she wants another baby, and if I don't give her one she will find someone that will.

- That should of been the ultimate deal breaker. I should of left it then and there and never return -

But instead I ignore her and think she's just crazy. Turns out she is. Two months later she cheats on me. I move out, but shortly after she cries for me to come back. So I do, thinking maybe she has learned her lesson, and I give her conditions on my return. Really, I now see that I haven't learned my lesson.

The rest of the year was pretty good actually. She did follow the rules I set when I returned, but only did the bare minimum to keep me there. We moved into a house at the end of the lease. It made better financial sense for me, and I thought maybe it would even help our relationship (bigger property, get out of the town we were in).

We move in she wants a wedding this year. I say no, lets play it cool this year. She pushes it each day, so I say fine - you want a wedding, you pay for it. So, our wedding is in October. Since February, things went from perfect to crap. She gradually changed, and now I am living with this girl who doesn't work as a team or as a couple. Instead we are two individuals living together. It's pretty ****ty and I'm seriously thinking of ending it. Over the past two weeks I've been going back and forth, and thinking nonstop whether or not to continue with the marriage and relationship.

She is 21 and I am 24.

1) I know already, you don't have to remind me, that I am an idiot for staying with her. She is slowly making progress with herself, but I don't know how long it will last.

2) But the point of the story is, that from my experience, I believe long term relationships and marriage are not natural. And with all the stories about men being cheaters - I think women are the cheaters. It sure does seem that women are the crueler bunch and can be sometimes inhuman even.

This is the relationship that I learned by lessons... well kinda... I still haven't left her so I'm still learning I guess. But my viewpoints on women are totally different. It's easier to talk to women and I don't view them as some prize. There's nothing special about them. Even when it comes to dating and what not. And I learned what NOT to allow in a relationship. I think a lot of guys just put them on a pedestal, like I used to do, and if you do that, you will never get a girl. Just stop trying so hard, and stop relying on a girlfriend to make you happy. Do what you want to do and don't worry about everything else and you'll be set.