Tomorrow, we find out if BBMG is a man of his word

[donblaximus]

Thanks man.
I dont even find that many shots I want to shoot. As I said, I hadnt asked anyone out in 5 years in large part cause I dont even see anyone I like out there.

So even if I wanted to there's not much I'll be doing going forward.

A picky non confident dude looking for a partner. A dangerous combination.

[BigBallsMcgee]

You want friends like this. Itll hurt but you can move on quickly from it. The big win here is you attempted to do it, and you are still alive. Hopefully you have even gained confidence from this knowing you wont die now if you are denied. You WILL find someone boyo and the misc is proud of you for trying.

I appreciate it man. In the past, this would have broken me for a bit but this one didnt hurt. Im hoping I turned a corner and can be fearless on this going forward.

Idk if I will find someone, but if I dont it at least wont be because I didnt go for it.

[BigBallsMcgee]

My guy I fell into this same mindset when I was younger and it simply isn't true. Is it true attractive men can get one night stands way more easy? For sure. Anything past that its about confidence, making them laugh, and just fun to be around. It sounds cliche as fuk but its true. Physical attractiveness wears off EXTREMELY fukking fast once you find out someone doesn't have the personality you were hoping they have.

This true, unless you're particularly unattractive. My story is that I can make them laugh and be fun but they're still not interested.

You have to still meet the threshold, its very clear that I do not.

[donblaximus]

You are building confidence my dude. You get denied 100 more times, and you won't even bat an eye. How do you think salesmen get good at their job? You think MOST people say yes? Fuk no, its the opposite. There are hundreds of thousands of women out there, one of them will say yes and like you, 100%

Slightly true but slightly misguided. Confidence comes from accomplishment. Not just trying things and failing. You have to work towards something and fail, regroup, get better, and fail and work more until you ACCOMPLISH something based on settings goals.

My kid wants to win the most prestigious BJJ tournament in the world. You dont just sign up and come to lose and think "its all good....you tried"
You have to put in the work. Fix what you can fix. Work on your deficiencies to put yourself in the best position to succeed.

[chalup]

I appreciate it man. In the past, this would have broken me for a bit but this one didnt hurt. Im hoping I turned a corner and can be fearless on this going forward.

Idk if I will find someone, but if I dont it at least wont be because I didnt go for it.

There is literally millions of women. It's almost statistically impossible for you not to find someone you are compatible with. What you need to work on is the mindset your looks is holding you back. I haven't read the entire thread but I don't think you are looking for one night stands which is the only department where looks matter a lot. Everything else is changeable/fixable.

[chalup]

Slightly true but slightly misguided. Confidence comes from accomplishment. Not just trying things and failing. You have to work towards something and fail, regroup, get better, and fail and work more until you ACCOMPLISH something based on settings goals.

My kid wants to win the most prestigious BJJ tournament in the world. You dont just sign up and come to lose and think "its all good....you tried"
You have to put in the work. Fix what you can fix. Work on your deficiencies to put yourself in the best position to succeed.

Well I mean of course. The first step in dating is getting over the fear of rejection. The only way to do this is to be rejected a lot, is what I meant.

[BigBallsMcgee]

A picky non confident dude looking for a partner. A dangerous combination.

I dont think im picky perse. I dont have a high looks standard, and i would give most women a chance if they were interested.

But it is much more rare for me to be actively into someone and wanting to actively make moves.

[donblaximus]

Well I mean of course. The first step in dating is getting over the fear of rejection. The only way to do this is to be rejected a lot, is what I meant.

Yes 100%. But you have to have real confidence to get the result you want.

[BigBallsMcgee]

Slightly true but slightly misguided. Confidence comes from accomplishment. Not just trying things and failing. You have to work towards something and fail, regroup, get better, and fail and work more until you ACCOMPLISH something based on settings goals.

My kid wants to win the most prestigious BJJ tournament in the world. You dont just sign up and come to lose and think "its all good....you tried"
You have to put in the work. Fix what you can fix. Work on your deficiencies to put yourself in the best position to succeed.

I agree with this but then it doesnt make sense.

I get told that being confident is key with women, but you only get confidence by being successful.

I think confidence matters a lot less than people make it out to be. People that women like, for looks or for whatever reason, get confident because women like them. Its self fulfilling.

I am never going to have the kind of success to merit confidence in this area of life. i will be lucky to even go on a date again, I have no idea if or when that will ever happen again.

All I can say is, if the need arises, I think I'll be able to go for it again.

[donblaximus]

I dont think im picky perse. I dont have a high looks standard, and i would give most women a chance if they were interested.

But it is much more rare for me to be actively into someone and wanting to actively make moves.

You just said verbatim "I dont even see anyone I like out there".
Now you are saying you would give most women a chance "if they were interested"

The whole point is to get them interested in you bro. Im a decent looking dude in good shape and when I was single I already had bank. And still women werent coming up to me throwing themselves at me unless I was in the lambo. Its just not how it works bro.

[BigBallsMcgee]

You just said verbatim "I dont even see anyone I like out there".
Now you are saying you would give most women a chance "if they were interested"

The whole point is to get them interested in you bro. Im a decent looking dude in good shape and when I was single I already had bank. And still women werent coming up to me throwing themselves at me unless I was in the lambo. Its just not how it works bro.

I dont think women should come up throwing themselves at me. But for most non chads, this stuff happens naturally. They exist in the world doing hobbies and meeting people and every so often there will be a girl where something clicks with. And they either make it pretty obvious you could ask them out and get a yes, or things just naturally happen you hook up or something.

I see it all the time.

Thats the kind of thing that has never and will never happen for me, but if it did, if some woman was showing some signs and clicking with me, I would give most a chance.

But thats not the same thing as actively wanting to pursue someone.

[chalup]

I agree with this but then it doesnt make sense.

I get told that being confident is key with women, but you only get confidence by being successful.

I think confidence matters a lot less than people make it out to be. People that women like, for looks or for whatever reason, get confident because women like them. Its self fulfilling.

I am never going to have the kind of success to merit confidence in this area of life. i will be lucky to even go on a date again, I have no idea if or when that will ever happen again.

All I can say is, if the need arises, I think I'll be able to go for it again.

This isn't true though, confidence comes from within. It's SELF confidence. You only gain it from life experiences then reflecting back on them.

[BigBallsMcgee]

This isn't true though, confidence comes from within. It's SELF confidence. You only gain it from life experiences then reflecting back on them.

There's confidence in different areas of life. I am confident in things I'm good at. I am not confident in things I suck at and fail at.

General SELF confidence, I think I have it actually. But that isn't the same as confidence with women, because I am not attractive and I fail with women. those are just the facts.

Confidence with women is a specific thing, and if you are unattractive and never get women, it doesnt make any sense to be confident in that aspect of things. Which I am not. That would be delusion.

[dudeguy2019]

There's confidence in different areas of life. I am confident in things I'm good at. I am not confident in things I suck at and fail at.

General SELF confidence, I think I have it actually. But that isn't the same as confidence with women, because I am not attractive and I fail with women. those are just the facts.

Confidence with women is a specific thing, and if you are unattractive and never get women, it doesnt make any sense to be confident in that aspect of things. Which I am not. That would be delusion.

I think it might be worthwhile to discuss and explore the confidence angle more. For example, you say you are confident in the things you do well. What is it that you do well? Are there other life areas you can improve on? Like education, housing situation, career, etc.

[BigBallsMcgee]

I think it might be worthwhile to discuss and explore the confidence angle more. For example, you say you are confident in the things you do well. What is it that you do well? Are there other life areas you can improve on? Like education, housing situation, career, etc.

I would say a few things, in general I am very well liked. I can make friends pretty easily, I am funny and I know "how to win friends and influence people" I know how to listen. I know how to converse with people to make them feel good. I do it all the time.

So I know I have that. In terms of tangible things, I have a house in a nice area, I have decent money, I have had the 6 figure job, I have the ivy league pedigree, I'm in shape and athletic. I have these things going for me, objectively. In a lot of ways I'm objectively top 20%.

None of this makes a difference to the dating results. So, I dont walk into a situation confident because results have shown these things dont move the needle.

[dudeguy2019]

I would say a few things, in general I am very well liked. I can make friends pretty easily, I am funny and I know "how to win friends and influence people" I know how to listen. I know how to converse with people to make them feel good. I do it all the time.

So I know I have that. In terms of tangible things, I have a house in a nice area, I have decent money, I have had the 6 figure job, I have the ivy league pedigree, I'm in shape and athletic. I have these things going for me, objectively. In a lot of ways I'm objectively top 20%.

None of this makes a difference to the dating results. So, I dont walk into a situation confident because results have shown these things dont move the needle.

Very glad to hear that you have all that going for you. Good job. You're objectively doing better than most slobs.

So what would you say constitutes your circle of friends and peers? Would you say they fall into or around the same circle of success as you?

Just trying to paint a profile as that can really help with guiding people in general.

[Krackerjacked]

I would say a few things, in general I am very well liked. I can make friends pretty easily, I am funny and I know "how to win friends and influence people" I know how to listen. I know how to converse with people to make them feel good. I do it all the time.

Could you do this from the jump with new women? Just adjust to date them instead of trying to be friends?
You obviously have a lot going for you and while looks obviously matter they’re only a piece of the puzzle.

[alltrapbrah]

I would say a few things, in general I am very well liked. I can make friends pretty easily, I am funny and I know "how to win friends and influence people" I know how to listen. I know how to converse with people to make them feel good. I do it all the time.

Yet this couldn’t be further from how you come across on the misc.

I know you insist you’re a completely different person in RL, but I’m not buying it.

I guarantee your misc persona is coming through in RL more than you realise.

[BigBallsMcgee]

So what would you say constitutes your circle of friends and peers? Would you say they fall into or around the same circle of success as you?

Yes generally my friends are around the same level, young profs doing decently well. Most are single. Similar situations.

[BigBallsMcgee]

Could you do this from the jump with new women? Just adjust to date them instead of trying to be friends?

I do it all the time, the results are never attraction though. The results are friends.

I admit, I rarely if ever add in any flirtatious element to this. That could be the missing part.

[BigBallsMcgee]

Yet this couldn’t be further from how you come across on the misc.

I know you insist you’re a completely different person in RL, but I’m not buying it.

I guarantee your misc persona is coming through in RL more than you realise.

You are free to believe whatever you want, I am telling the truth. I have no reason to lie or misrepresent the situation, nothing to gain from doing that.

I am very certain I have the skills I described.

[Krackerjacked]

I do it all the time, the results are never attraction though. The results are friends.

I admit, I rarely if ever add in any flirtatious element to this. That could be the missing part.

Yeah that’s what I’m getting at. I will say anytime I’ve listened to your vocaroos, even when we’re arguing I’ve always thought you’re a good speaker.
I can’t remember if you drink or not but I know Muzz just goes to bars and talks to everyone, Rat does too. Wonder if that could be a way for you to get started.
And I say this as someone who doesn’t drink/go to bars so I could be full of chit lol.

[alltrapbrah]

You are free to believe whatever you want, I am telling the truth. I have no reason to lie or misrepresent the situation, nothing to gain from doing that.

I am very certain I have the skills I described.

Apologies, when I say “I’m not buying it”, I don’t mean that in the sense that I think you’re lying. I don’t doubt that you believe what you believe. I mean it in the sense that I think your perception of yourself is inaccurate to some degree.

Also, how we perceive ourselves can be VERY different to how others perceive us.

[BigBallsMcgee]

Yeah that’s what I’m getting at. I will say anytime I’ve listened to your vocaroos, even when we’re arguing I’ve always thought you’re a good speaker.
I can’t remember if you drink or not but I know Muzz just goes to bars and talks to everyone, Rat does too. Wonder if that could be a way for you to get started.
And I say this as someone who doesn’t drink/go to bars so I could be full of chit lol.

I've done the bar scene man, I've done bar scene and just start talking to people. I can do it, super comfortable with it.

There's a reason I've been convinced I just dont have the physical side of it that I need, it is really the only thing I can see to explain my results.

I've thought about putting it to the ultimate test and just going for fat chicks. If that doesnt even work, then its just over.

[N0stradamus]

Very glad to hear that you have all that going for you. Good job. You're objectively doing better than most slobs.

So what would you say constitutes your circle of friends and peers? Would you say they fall into or around the same circle of success as you?

Just trying to paint a profile as that can really help with guiding people in general.

^^^^ Obviously this is a mod alt. Registration is closed, and yet somehow this individual was able to create an account?

[BigBallsMcgee]

Apologies, when I say “I’m not buying it”, I don’t mean that in the sense that I think you’re lying. I don’t doubt that you believe what you believe. I mean it in the sense that I think your perception of yourself is inaccurate to some degree.

Also, how we perceive ourselves can be VERY different to how others perceive us.

This is true, but I dont think i'm wildly off. I think people that know me would generally get to the same ball park. They would definitely at least say I have the raw social skills that should be good enough to get a date every now and again.

[donblaximus]

There's confidence in different areas of life. I am confident in things I'm good at. I am not confident in things I suck at and fail at.

General SELF confidence, I think I have it actually. But that isn't the same as confidence with women, because I am not attractive and I fail with women. those are just the facts.

Confidence with women is a specific thing, and if you are unattractive and never get women, it doesnt make any sense to be confident in that aspect of things. Which I am not. That would be delusion.

I guess if you are the bottom .1% and are hideous to look at then you might be a corner case?

But in general confidence blends together. I suck at BJJ. But I am confident that with enough time and focus I will get good. So even though I go on the matt every day and get my arse kicked by the upper belts, I know I can get good if I keep trying. The upper belts also let me know that they can feel that I am progressing. My confidence on that matt (even though I suck and get my butt kicked) comes from knowing I have overcome other obstacles in my life.

[donblaximus]

Yet this couldn’t be further from how you come across on the misc.

I know you insist you’re a completely different person in RL, but I’m not buying it.

I guarantee your misc persona is coming through in RL more than you realise.

I have been saying this since the beginning. Unless he has a dissociative personality disorder.......
Your true self is shown by your thoughts and actions. Very hard to be one thing on the internet and be something COMPLETELY different IRL.

[donblaximus]

You are free to believe whatever you want, I am telling the truth. I have no reason to lie or misrepresent the situation, nothing to gain from doing that.

I am very certain I have the skills I described.

Yet when that girl asked a very simple question....you almost had a melt down. Its ok bro. It is what it is but only until you get to the truth, can you adjust and advance.

[donblaximus]

This is true, but I dont think i'm wildly off. I think people that know me would generally get to the same ball park. They would definitely at least say I have the raw social skills that should be good enough to get a date every now and again.

Good enough might not cut it if you look like quasi moto (I am saying this for dramatic affect). Your personality has to be stellar to make up for other short comings.