What's the dumbest / worst / most embarrassing way you've injured yourself?

[TheSkins]

I managed a grade 2-3 calf tear leaning forward to pick up some DBs off the rack to do rows. I thought the guy behind me dropped a weight on me for a second. Hurt like f*ck that did.

I knocked myself out diving of a 6ft wall into a swimming pool at a party (drunk obviously). Got pulled out the water, ambulance called etc. I told the ambulance to go and carried on drinking, which probably wasn't so smart.

[TBO1313]

Cut a tendon in my right thumb punching through and old window and now I only have about 60% range of motion compared to my other thumb.

Dislocated my right pinkie sweeping the porch and then a couple years later dislocated it again cleaning the dashboard of my truck. That finger is fukd beyond belief now

[Muzzlrpress]

https://voca.ro/1l7v9qFA8tM2

[JStrez]

Not the worst injury, but definitely the dumbest. Was with my ex-girlfriend at the time in her college apartment and she wanted to try anal. Put the lube on and everything, and she's bent over doggy style, with her hands on the arm of the couch. I was going so hard and deep, and her pushing on the arm of the couch, it snapped off. She fell forward into a pile of blankets and was fine. I tried to catch myself and like hop off the couch. Put my leg out on the tile floor and stepped on the bottle of lube. Leg slides out and then catches into the corner of the coffee table. When that happened my body was still moving with my foot stuck, so it twisted my knee as my body was falling. Ended up breaking three of my toes, pulling my hamstring, and partially tearing my LCL. Chit was hilarious looking back lol.

[jesterstear]

Tried to use a large pair of shears as a nutcracker by squeezing the blades and using to finger holes to crack nut. Sliced off a chunk of my palm just below pinkie finger.

[dbs25]

Grew up on a farm, had nothing to do for fun so my friends and I used to climb **** and jump off of them.

We found a stairway, maybe 15 feet high, next to a road and took turns jumping off. My dumbass tried to be cool and do a flip; landed on my feet, but momentum carried my upper body forward so I also slammed my head straight into the asphalt. Cracked my skull open and then caught a nice beating from my parents and grandparents when I explained what happened after being discharged from the hospital.

Good times, wish I could go back.

[yewotm8]

Came back from gym and my grip muscles were pretty fatigued from it. In backyard throwing ball for dog to fetch and it goes over fence. I climb tree to get over fence, and my grip slips and I manage to barely grab another branch on the way down. Somehow managed to strain the muscles in my fingers to the point of extreme pain. Couldn't open my hand for a week.

[CherryPopinski]

Girl's parents were coming and I zipped my jeans up too quick. Caught the skin right under the head in the zipper.

"How'd you get the beans above the frank?"
"We got a bleeder!"

That sucked.

This made me laugh lol

[Muzzlrpress]

Not the worst injury, but definitely the dumbest. Was with my ex-girlfriend at the time in her college apartment and she wanted to try anal. Put the lube on and everything, and she's bent over doggy style, with her hands on the arm of the couch. I was going so hard and deep, and her pushing on the arm of the couch, it snapped off. She fell forward into a pile of blankets and was fine. I tried to catch myself and like hop off the couch. Put my leg out on the tile floor and stepped on the bottle of lube. Leg slides out and then catches into the corner of the coffee table. When that happened my body was still moving with my foot stuck, so it twisted my knee as my body was falling. Ended up breaking three of my toes, pulling my hamstring, and partially tearing my LCL. Chit was hilarious looking back lol.

Lmao. Wish I had reps left.

[stupid000]

Cut myself twice on my hand with a chainsaw in a tree with a chainsaw cause my juiced out buddy told me to grab onto a branch and use the chainsaw with one hand. It was at Christmas so I went into the er with a blood dripping Santa hat covering my wounds. Dr's thought I'd never be able to use my hand again.

[stupid000]

Dislocated my right pinkie sweeping the porch and then a couple years later dislocated it again cleaning the dashboard of my truck. That finger is fukd beyond belief now

Did that in elementary school playing tether ball, the three bones were stacked on each other. But im stupid oh well.

[JStrez]

Lmao. Wish I had reps left.

Took me 8 weeks to heal to where I could run again lol.

I knew a kid though who was a legit MLB prospect pitcher in school. Dude was filthy and started to attract scouts to his games. In class he was sneezing a bunch and the teacher told him to stop. He tried to hold in the sneeze and it backfired. Ended up tearing a chit ton of muscles in his back on his pitching side, some off the bone, and never was the same again. Lost all interests in scouts because he missed the entire season.

[taf1968]

Fractured my wrist playing softball one night making a diving catch in the outfield (wrist on dominant hand). Not a terrible break, but needed a cast for a few weeks. Found I could still hold a softball and throw it with the cast on, so I decided to play the next week. Went up to bat (I'm right handed) and thought I could just bat with a right hand stance, but using my left hand (batting back handed). Got a high pitch and nailed it . . . but dislocated my left shoulder with the swing. Got it relocated and ran to first base, but was pretty painful.

Took a few weeks off softball after that.

[Archangel_Lost]

Punched the padded back of a pec deck on the way out of high school gym for no tangible reason.
Broke my hand, wasn’t able to straighten that pinky for years.

Washing dishes I slipped a knife up the end of one of my fingers. Ruined my guitar playing for two years.

[stupid000]

When I was young I got hung on an unfinished fence, bruised my bone couldn't move my arm for a while and got a bunch of stitches. After I got lifted off the fence all the flesh oozing out with blood I thought were my brains. All the other kids were laughing at me. Was at a little league game so there were adults to save me.

[jamalfudge]

Never had any severe injuries, but have a lifetime of minor-to-pain-in-the-ass injuries from dumb things. In 7th grade we had a perfect storm of a few months of ice covered snow that you can walk on and living in a hilly area. Of course, at that age you tend to overdo things and my friends and I spent our free time making insane sled jumps and even went so far to carry 5 gallon buckets of water to make surfaces even icier. This is anticlimactic but I got going good once to the point where I was about to go head first into a giant pile of ice and went to grab a chunk to slow me down and bounced it right off. Think it might've been a hairline fracture, was sore for a good 6 months afterward.

Still have a little scar from zipping my toy Batmobile over the floor when I was 5-6 and nailing my forehead on the corner of my grandmother's coffee table. Weird thing is it caused a scar but never had any bleeding.

Pretty sure I tore my meniscus while trying to do slow weighted negative Nordic ham curls on the floor.

I got shot with a BB gun in the shin at close range when I was 16. The BB stayed in there for a good 5 years after. I can't remember if it was about to come out but I remember making a big effort to dig it out. Still have the scar for that one.

[stupid000]

Punched the padded back of a pec deck on the way out of high school gym for no tangible reason.
Broke my hand, wasn’t able to straighten that pinky for years.

Washing dishes I slipped a knife up the end of one of my fingers. Ruined my guitar playing for two years.

My worst injury was when my hard drive failed and I lost everything I recorded. I feel you bro. On recharge.

[CaroKannDefence]

I dreamt I was doing aerobics, and woke up with the worst cramp in my calf. I had a limp for three days.

[WABeast]

Cut my hand with a pair of scissors at work while talking to an hbb and needed stiches

[I3igAl]

- hurt my back deadlifting...during the first warm-up rep...using one plate

[Samraiwise]

Spoiler!

[Nightdic]

Fuk’d my back up BAD foam rolling three days ago, made a post even lol. Still can barely walk. Never had an injury before so this is fuking dumb

[stupid000]

Fuk’d my back up BAD foam rolling three days ago, made a post even lol. Still can barely walk. Never had an injury before so this is fuking dumb

Sucks getting old huh? I'm only a year ahead of you. My pinched nerve fks with me at least 3 times a year, my left hand is starting to get numb sometimes from when I cut myself with a chainsaw and my knee hurts often from when I hurt it and couldn't walk for a while.

[OLawdQuan]

Nearly lobbed the tip of my finger off trying to cut frozen ass butter. So what had happened was I pulled a stick out of the freezer, didn’t have a microwave, so I didn’t melt it, and instead of using a butter knife, I went for my cool new ceramic knife (sharp af!) (do u like daggers?). I push the knife into the frozen stick of butter using all my body weight but didn’t realize my finger was right there, under the butter, so when the knife finally went through, it guillotined my index. Four stitches and perm nerve damage.

[Merovingian11]

This thread is making me feel pretty badass.

OK I have a few more.

Pissed at my dad for yelling at me over stupid chit, punched a hole in the wall. Boxer's fracture on my right hand pinkie.

Slid out on the crosswalk paint in the rain on my racing bicycle. Bursitis for weeks.

Was trying to go as fast as possible on my skateboard and lost control. Minor Bursitis on the other hip.

Stupid but sometimes you have to risk if you want the reward.

It's kinda weird cuz I kinda like getting bruised a bit. Maybe I should be a stuntman.

I don't really feel embarrassed about any of them except punching the wall and not leading with the proper knuckle. I could have avoided the slight malrotation of my pinkie. More just dumb than embarrassing.

[christophe211]

Blew out my Achilles tendon pushing my buddies car. Two surgeries, and almost a year of rehab.

[adigiro1]

Nearly lobbed the tip of my finger off trying to cut frozen ass butter. So what had happened was I pulled a stick out of the freezer, didn’t have a microwave, so I didn’t melt it, and instead of using a butter knife, I went for my cool new ceramic knife (sharp af!) (do u like daggers?). I push the knife into the frozen stick of butter using all my body weight but didn’t realize my finger was right there, under the butter, so when the knife finally went through, it guillotined my index. Four stitches and perm nerve damage.

please tell me you have pics?

[StinnerOzz]

Broke my forearm bones & wrist doing cartwheels down an inflatable bounce house slide.

Attachment 9319233

[legbroke]

A few years ago, I was killing it in the first few weeks of a new job. Running late coming back from lunch, so I was rushing a bit. Tried to jump into the revolving door while it was moving but didn't realize there was glass in between me the and actually being inside the entrance.

Direct hit with my right temple. Let out a huge BONGGG that vibrated my skull and made me black for a few seconds while I somehow fell through the still-spinning revolving door as it caught and tugged on my shoes. The whole lobby was looking at me in shock when I got to the other side, but I actually played it off pretty well.

Wound up telling my mentor a half hour later that I had to come home because I walked into a glass door and likely concussed myself.


Also nearly took out my eye opening a beer bottle this past fourth of July. Couldn't find the bottle opener, so I was doing the ol' use another bottle as an opener trick. The cap was kinda stuck on there, but eventually I got it to burst off. Flew up and hit me right in the eye. My pupil basically disappeared, and I couldn't see for a few minutes. My vision honestly didn't fully return until the next day. Vision is basically fine now, but my left pupil doesn't contract anymore, and you can see some of the pupil outside the iris.

[stupid000]

A few years ago, I was killing it in the first few weeks of a new job. Running late coming back from lunch, so I was rushing a bit. Tried to jump into the revolving door while it was moving but didn't realize there was glass in between me the and actually being inside the entrance.

Direct hit with my right temple. Let out a huge BONGGG that vibrated my skull and made me black for a few seconds while I somehow fell through the still-spinning revolving door as it caught and tugged on my shoes. The whole lobby was looking at me in shock when I got to the other side, but I actually played it off pretty well.

Wound up telling my mentor a half hour later that I had to come home because I walked into a glass door and likely concussed myself.


Also nearly took out my eye opening a beer bottle this past fourth of July. Couldn't find the bottle opener, so I was doing the ol' use another bottle as an opener trick. The cap was kinda stuck on there, but eventually I got it to burst off. Flew up and hit me right in the eye. My pupil basically disappeared, and I couldn't see for a few minutes. My vision honestly didn't fully return until the next day. Vision is basically fine now, but my left pupil doesn't contract anymore, and you can see some of the pupil outside the iris.

Disappointed in no leg break story.