Does going to therapy make you less of a man?

[eod8989]

That's because no body cares about what a man feels. You see society sees men as expendable and only worthy if they are making other peoples lives better.

Complain to your friend ? Good luck with that, most guys just take this as a sign of weakness and pretend to not experience the same thing same thing as you, in order to appear alphas fuark.

Complain to your female ? Good luck with that... She won't be seeing you as a man for much longer.

Accept the fact that as a man you're born alone, and you die alone.

This. That's why so many dudes complain on here and reddit and other forums because you can't complain irl. Women can complain all day to anyone for instant emotional support. Brb can show up to work every single day and work the whole time your there but complain once and you here some dumb Sloot smart off or some dude call you a pussy. Do it a few times and you're a whiny bish to everyone and certain people try to prey on you

[MrQuint]

Well I wasn’t really seeking advice. Just was trying to understand myself better and to work through depression and emotional trauma and grief. In my case the therapists provide some guidance but mostly just listened and provided support, more than advice. Plus with grief there’s not much advice to give, it’s something you have to slowly work through with time.

Especially in the case of trauma and grief, it really helps to repeat yourself and tell the story many times to come to terms with it. Not something I’d want to tell a loved one over and over and over, because while they can provide emotional support they have their own life and own problems too, and I wouldn’t want to burden them with talking about my problems over and over.

This was pretty much my experience as well. Didn't receive or need a lot of guidance, just someone to listen and offer some support. There was a time when I said I'd never go but it turns out I was wrong and it really did help when I felt I had nowhere else to turn.

[M3lony]

For those who have gone thought it, was the significance of you paying for it and thinking the person your talking to know what they are talking too, weight the advice higher than if you just received the SAME advice from the internet or a friend?

Because most of the time you cant recieve they same form of treatment from a friend or the internet.
Therapies arent usually 2-3 hours with a few one liners and tips and thats about it. Some therapies go on for months or even years with the same person every week. Theres alot of work and effort needed to go into some of the deep places you or any other person doesnt even have access too. Its a mutual effort from therapist and the patient and there has to be a certain synergy between these two which isnt always given, to eventually create positive results. And often times theres some stuff hidden you dont even want to talk about with a friend or family person. Someone who is basically a stranger, you might never see again in your life, with an obligation to secrecy and with a more objective perspective, make things alot easier.
Also there needs to be a certain understanding and knowledge about various behaviours and sicknesses, like different personality disorders, depression and so on.
Where I live there is healthcare, so money isnt an issue.

[Godfrd824]

Being a man means doing whatever the fuk you want without worrying what others think. Wanting to better yourself isn't beta, crying and being insecure about wanting to better yourself is.

[nothingshocking]

I hope things work out for you Wincel. Do what's best for you. Best of luck.

[Aristotelian]

Yes. "Mental health" is a (((scam))) to get us all doped up on meds. You either have what it takes, or you don't.

This. Maybe 1% of it actually helps. I've been to quiet a few in my day and only got one good piece of advice

Negged, for the absolute ignorance contained in these posts which is being spouted as true. You two have no idea what you're talking about.

They didn't have therapy for the millions of men who fought in WW2.

Much to the detriment of those men. I'm not saying that everyone should go to therapy, but your question is whether or not going to therapy makes you 'less of a man', and of course the answer is 'no'. Or:

No it doesn't. It makes you more of a man. You recognized that you need help, and can't do it alone. Takes a lot of strength to come to terms with that as a man.

Exactly. Being able to admit you have a problem and that it might be useful to talk to a professional about it is the exact opposite of being 'less of a man': it makes you more of a man, where applicable, in the sense that you're able to own your situation in life, and to see things as they are. Only then - seeing the world as it is - can you begin to understand that spiral of craving and aversion which leads to misery.

[MarinoMike]

It’s probably healthier than coming to misc for help

[ChaseW]

Yeah, they didn't have therapy after WWII and many lived horribly troubled lives afterwards with no ways to cope other than alcohol or drugs. If you have grandparents still alive who were children then, ask them about the men who came back. Most/all of them were never the same.

As echoed above, going to therapy makes you a better version of yourself. It takes strength to really face your issues and shed your ego and see yourself from other perspectives. That info is incredibly valuable.

Also, therapy is a marathon, not a sprint. Please don't come in here with the "I went to therapy once in 2006 and it was useless". Yeah, no shiit. Go to the gym once and see how your results are. Then go for 6 months regularly, eat well, and follow a nice strength program. I'd imagine your progress will be a bit more significant??? Therapy is the same way. You get out of it what you put in.

[devin45k]

A lot of the people I know that went into psychology in college are interested in it because they are attempting to cope with their own psychological experiences.

I went to a couple. They all felt useless to me. They sat there and basically forced themselves to sound interested because it was their job. The worst experience was when I found a dude that I felt was totally into it and was giving me solid advice. I went there for a third time and he clearly had no memory of who I was. I felt like such a moron.

That being said, some people definitely need to go to a therapy.

[jeshelton]

Yes. "Mental health" is a (((scam))) to get us all doped up on meds. You either have what it takes, or you don't.

This. Maybe 1% of it actually helps. I've been to quiet a few in my day and only got one good piece of advice

the only thing worse than being depressed is having to pay someone to hear youre depressed

tell a friend, get drunk at a bar and tell a stranger, write it down...but to pay someone? lol

Solid misc posts, never change.

The complete opposite.

Its no different than having a certain set of tools to do your job; without them you aren’t doing your job well. A good therapist will help you recognize things that (if applied) can be very beneficial.

I have a guy I see and anyone that would judge someone based on this is either a whinging baby that can’t accelt that they have problems or they are in denial about why they’re also fuked up.

This.

No it doesn't. It makes you more of a man. You recognized that you need help, and can't do it alone. Takes a lot of strength to come to terms with that as a man.

That.

Yeah, they didn't have therapy after WWII and many lived horribly troubled lives afterwards with no ways to cope other than alcohol or drugs. If you have grandparents still alive who were children then, ask them about the men who came back. Most/all of them were never the same.

As echoed above, going to therapy makes you a better version of yourself. It takes strength to really face your issues and shed your ego and see yourself from other perspectives. That info is incredibly valuable.

Also, therapy is a marathon, not a sprint. Please don't come in here with the "I went to therapy once in 2006 and it was useless". Yeah, no shiit. Go to the gym once and see how your results are. Then go for 6 months regularly, eat well, and follow a nice strength program. I'd imagine your progress will be a bit more significant??? Therapy is the same way. You get out of it what you put in.

And that.

Also notice the people bashing therapy started working out in 2009 and haven't changed a bit, but are still bitching about therapy being a scam. Western world gonna Western.

Much of the way therapy works is finding a source you can resonate with, in groups or one on one. If you think one family practice doctor is inept, you likely move to the next one instead of throwing the whole medical system to the wolves, right?

Real therapy and/or psychiatric evaluation isn't the TV version of Friends where they sit down and ask "how do you feel" about everything. A good therapist will help -you- draw out your issues, most of the time without you even knowing it. This isn't because you're Einstein or have a sub 60 IQ, it's because they are good at their job. You speak about WW2 vets not having the option, they also didn't have smartphones and computers to post on the misc. There are still vets from WW2, Vietnam, and the Korean wars going to VA and private therapists to this day, does not mean they are weak minded but can mean they have bottled up some horrific chit for decades because "that's what real men do".

Spend some time looking for a male therapist (since you hate women so much) that has 10+ years of experience in the areas you "think" you need help on. See what your insurance covers, if you have insurance.

[joshewah17]

Negged, for the absolute ignorance contained in these posts which is being spouted as true. You two have no idea what you're talking about.



Much to the detriment of those men. I'm not saying that everyone should go to therapy, but your question is whether or not going to therapy makes you 'less of a man', and of course the answer is 'no'. Or:




Exactly. Being able to admit you have a problem and that it might be useful to talk to a professional about it is the exact opposite of being 'less of a man': it makes you more of a man, where applicable, in the sense that you're able to own your situation in life, and to see things as they are. Only then - seeing the world as it is - can you begin to understand that spiral of craving and aversion which leads to misery.

The bold is critical. Seeing your attachments for what they are really worth is the first step to being free of them.

Keep it up, OP. You took the first step, which is the hardest. This took courage, because despite the thoughts you had about weakness and manhood and masculinity, you went anyway. The coward would have heeded his insecurities and stayed home.

[Cannondella]

Nope but does make you less of an idiot.

I think the right therapist can really help you. I know the one woman I've ever really opened up to, in a way I probably wouldnt ever have to a therapist, helped me more than anything else ever has. I was always someone who kept everything to myself. Its not about blubbering and crying, although I did plenty, when I finally opened up and talked after a very tramautic year the relief was immense. I think its important to have someone who cares about whats going on in your life, although finding someone who genuinely cares is difficult. Its just about talking and being able to work through your thoughts and having someone genuinely intelligent who will understand what you're saying, not judge you, even for your worst thoughts and will be able to offer up advice or atleast help you realize what you need to do. Also having someone to care about is helpful, it takes some of the magnitude away from the problems in your life.

[DesiredUserphag]

Idk, never been and never will but with that said my best friend is a male and we talk about deep life sht on a regular basis to keep our heads on straight

[InstantLoser]

While yes, men are supposed to be strong, admitting you need help isn't necessarily a sign of weakness.

[guest89]

A lot of the people I know that went into psychology in college are interested in it because they are attempting to cope with their own psychological experiences.

I went to a couple. They all felt useless to me. They sat there and basically forced themselves to sound interested because it was their job. The worst experience was when I found a dude that I felt was totally into it and was giving me solid advice. I went there for a third time and he clearly had no memory of who I was. I felt like such a moron.

That being said, some people definitely need to go to a therapy.

I had to be evaluated a few times because of my job (3 different psychologists). I think they are quacks and its a bull**** profession. Basically just lied/told them what I thought they needed to hear to make the process streamlined and get me out ASAP. Apparently even though they are trained and and educated professionals this didn't set off their BS radar.



And my experiences in college and also dealing with people that have various mental 'illnesses' after is also fairly consistent with your observation. I think most people interested in that field of study have their own host of psychological issues which led them to being drawn to psychology in the first place.



Going doesn't make you less of a man but the fact that you need to go in the first place is a pretty big indicator something is wrong with you. Some people benefit from it no doubt and need to take some proactive measure for their crazy.

[beansieweansie]

Not very many things make you less of a man. people who say guys who are short, ugly, small dink, doesnt make 6+ figures, cries, has any type of problem is less of a man are *******s. aslong as you a wholesome/virtuous person who works hard and tries to be better everyday then you are a man and a good man too. society puts this pressure of being a certain type of man and it makes men think less of themselves and insecure and not do things. you think if a woman didnt do laundry or cook or isnt of small frame people would say shes less of a woman? fuk no

[wincel]

Not very many things make you less of a man. people who say guys who are short, ugly, small dink, doesnt make 6+ figures, cries, has any type of problem is less of a man are *******s. aslong as you a wholesome/virtuous person who works hard and tries to be better everyday then you are a man and a good man too. society puts this pressure of being a certain type of man and it makes men think less of themselves and insecure and not do things. you think if a woman didnt do laundry or cook or isnt of small frame people would say shes less of a woman? fuk no

females who can't cook = ceo10k or sloot

srs

[RedRusty]

If your therapist is making you feel this way, you may want to look into a different one. However, as mentioned, it may just be confronting your issues that is leading to the insecurity. To your question, absolutely not. Recognizing and facing the fact that you need help is challenging in and of itself.

[InstantLoser]

Not at all, and quite frankly this is the toxic masculinity

Misandrist detected.

[FoulSmell]

If you think you need it, do it.. it’s better than eating a bullet.

[InstantLoser]

Quite the opposite, I adore men, and it makes me very sad to see threads about how therapy makes men weak, all the crazy stuff they say about men who were sexually assaulted...If you need help, get it. I think everyone deserves to be happy, even you people.

The term "Toxic Masculinity" is used strictly by feminists who hate men. It simply describes normal male behavior, and is used to demonize it.

[wincel]

What did you learn, bro... share with us socially inept kunts

Here is a really good handout on boundaries. I realized a lot of my behaviors are unhealthy.

[wincel]

Quite the opposite, I adore men, and it makes me very sad to see threads about how therapy makes men weak, all the crazy stuff they say about men who were sexually assaulted...If you need help, get it. I think everyone deserves to be happy, even you people.

[Underwrought]

I don't think therapy itself is bad, I just don't like the way it's done.

Went to a shrink once sophomore year in college when I was getting seriously depressed over schoolwork. It was one of the most uncanny things I've ever done. They set me up with a PhD student and he just stared at me with this wide-eyed empty stare and this fake smile and listened as I bitched about my life and just went "yeah... yeah..." after everything I said. I don't think he gave a flying fuk. Then he tried to set me up with CBT. I didn't end up doing it cause I didn't want to see that guy again, whole environment seems fake as ****.

The other thing is that I think a lot of shrinks are way too eager to push pills. Sometimes they're the answer, sometimes they're not, but I feel like they're used as sort of a one-size-fits-all solution. The way we hand out SSRIs, and frankly, how cheap and readily available they are (like $5 a bottle even without insurance and any shrink will hook you up with some) is disturbing. It's like fukkin **** for a Walmart-and-Netflix 21st century America.

Addressing your issues head on takes some courage to do - ignoring your problems or worse yet pinning them on other people is cowardice. But me personally, I have always felt that I got better results, if you will, by just having a self-dialogue and asking "why do I want to do this", "why do I feel that way", etc, then having some fukkin shrink give me a wide-eyed stare and nodding at me. To be honest with you bro, I think you are beyond that introspection point, no hate. You've got some hangups to the point where I think you've got to call in the cavalry. Even if it's chitty, even if psychiatry is often really flawed, you've frankly been in a rut for 30 years and it's pretty clear at this point that you aren't going to climb out of it on your own.

But you're not a coward by addressing that. Being a coward would be consciously ignoring the issue even when you know one's there and going "I'm fine, it's women/liberals/other people that cause all the problems!"

Interesting sig change BTW... replacing one of the strongest sigs on the misc.

Why would I get life advice from someone whos the equivalent of a middle of the road washed up sports athlete (AT BEST) who never made it to the big league? If I were a ****ty athlete looking for advice on how to be better I would find a pro.

Im sure good ones exist, however you would probably have better odds at being struck by lightning then finding one in a price range you can afford.

[mynameisuntz]

The VA is one of the largest treatment-providers in terms of mental health. Are all those vets less manly for seeking help?

Of course not. I'd argue it takes courage to admit your limitations, make yourself vulnerable in doing so, and seek change to become a better man in the long-term. As opposed to just putting your head in the sand out of fear for appearing weak.

[wincel]

That is an awesome thing to learn. I'm really proud of you, Wincel. Has there been anything else helpful you'd be willing to share?

They did a personality inventory. The test felt like total BS with loaded questions. In the end, they identified me as an ISTJ, which didn't agree with some of the personality tests I have taken before. The description of ISTJ sounded pretty good and didn't seem to describe me at all, but then they went into the pros and cons of the personality type, and I had most of the cons and a lot of the pros, so I realized it did fit pretty well. We used it to look at how we might better compensate for the cons.

[Underwrought]

They did a personality inventory. The test felt like total BS with loaded questions. In the end, they identified me as an ISTJ, which didn't agree with some of the personality tests I have taken before. The description of ISTJ sounded pretty good and didn't seem to describe me at all, but then they went into the pros and cons of the personality type, and I had most of the cons and a lot of the pros, so I realized it did fit pretty well. We used it to look at how we might better compensate for the cons.

LMAO yeah youre talking to a quack if they gave you that test.

[Barcode120x]

Nope. Committing suicide or murdering someone because you don't go seek help whether it's a therapist, healthcare worker, a religious person, or a friend does make you less of a man regardless of your background circumstances and history.

[wincel]

LMAO yeah youre talking to a quack if they gave you that test.

It was this test:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Keirse...erament_Sorter

Also, this therapy is one aspect of the program. It's a full program, and I will also be seeing a real psychiatrist as well. They will probably prescribe meds, but I likely will not take them.

Nope. Committing suicide or murdering someone because you don't go seek help whether it's a therapist, healthcare worker, a religious person, or a friend does make you less of a man regardless of your background circumstances and history.

One thing I have read is that the vast majority of suicide victims did seek help...I still don't believe the therapy will solve the core issues in a person's life. It's intended to help you be able to cope with it and become a stronger person.

[mynameisuntz]

They did a personality inventory. The test felt like total BS with loaded questions. In the end, they identified me as an ISTJ, which didn't agree with some of the personality tests I have taken before. The description of ISTJ sounded pretty good and didn't seem to describe me at all, but then they went into the pros and cons of the personality type, and I had most of the cons and a lot of the pros, so I realized it did fit pretty well. We used it to look at how we might better compensate for the cons.

Yeah that's a non-valid test of personality...