The Enemy Between Your Ears

[QAlphaNiner]

�But the worst enemy you can meet will always be yourself; you lie in wait for yourself in caverns and forests. Lonely one, you are going the way to yourself! And your way goes past yourself, and past your seven devils! You will be a heretic to yourself and witch and soothsayer and fool and doubter and unholy one and villain. You must be ready to burn yourself in your own flame: how could you become new, if you had not first become ashes?�


― Friedrich Nietzsche, Thus Spoke Zarathustra

My name is Andrew. I'm a 21 year-old, highly active college student currently working a summer job, taking summer classes, and taking flying lessons at the local airport.

I've been active for three years now, since I started running right out of high school to get ready for ROTC when I joined college. This summer is the first time I've ever gotten seriously into lifting, and while on temporary duty on an Air Force Base I gained about 11 pounds. That was in the first month. Since I got back, I've felt my motivation slipping and my progress plateauing.

There are plenty of reasons (excuses) for it. When I was abroad, I was surrounded by friends and motivated, fit people who loved going to the gym. Even when I wouldn't want to go there was enough positive peer pressure to get my off my ass and get me going. It was enough to get me lifting every single day. And I loved it. Also, the gym was a six-minute walk from the dorm, and we had tons of free time, but limited options -- so basically no distractions. To cap it all off, meals at the chow hall were free and buffet style, so getting the nutrients I needed for the gains were no problem at all.

Now, on the other hand, I'm back in my home town, where the only friends I've seen don't go to the gym that often, and we're all ridiculously busy with our jobs and classes. I still took out a membership at a local gym and as my friends trickle back in town toward the end of the summer there will be a few that want to go lift with me, but I feel a lot less motivated at the gym alone, day after day. And cooking the meals at home are expensive in terms of both money and time.

So now instead of a motivating monologue (surrounded by fitness junkies), I have a neutral and sometimes negative dialogue. That dialogue is my self-talk.

I've been finding it a lot easier to make excuses not to go, and a lot harder to push myself to the level where I know the progress lives. I'm writing to reach out to the BodyBuilding community and see if any of you have ever been through this sort of ennui and drop-off in motivation, or if you've dealt with the de-motvation of taking this journey alone. It's not like I'm giving up, but it's kind of hard to stay motivated when I have no one to share my progress with, and no one to hold me accountable.

I should mention that I have been here before. When I started running, I had my rough spots, but I was still able to take my 1.5-mile time (for the ROTC physical test) from 13 minutes to under 9 minutes in less than a year. And the key to that was definitely just doing it every day, getting up before the sun was up and running, come hell or high water.

And I know I can do that, but some days it just feels pointless to go pick heavy things up and put them down when I don't have anyone to share any part of the process with. I want to see how far I can go, and I really do want to push myself without the extrinsic motivation, but I'm getting bored.

So in the words of Eminem, I've got to search within myself, find that inner strength, and just pull that **** out of me and get that motivation to not give up, and not be a quitter, no matter how bad I just wanna fall flat on my face and collapse.

So please feel free to fire away with your own stories, your struggles, your achievements, and especially any advice that will help me continue on this journey and keep gaining.

Thanks, and God bless.

[ElrondHubbard]

The negative self-talk may be with you forever. I still have plenty. When I feel worn out, it tells me to quit, to surrender, to give up. It tells me I'm not good enough, I don't deserve success, I'm wasting my time and everyone else's too.

When I'm feeling good and I reach a milestone, it tells me to quit while I'm ahead, or to celebrate by taking the rest of the workout off, trying to convince me I can coast now and I don't need to make an effort.

I can't ignore it, it won't go away. I have to face it and defy it. I'm lucky that I can talk to my wife about it, she always asks about what scripts I had today, and I relate the latest negative self talk to her. Then we laugh and celebrate the fact that I overcame it. Makes it a lot easier.

She has the same issues with the creative challenges she faces as an artist, and I try to give her support on that front as well. Talking about it helps us understand ourselves, and each other better.

[Steron99]

One good example lately is at the gym I work: Two mentally challenged brothers come there,the more severe of the two being obese,he took it in his head he wanted to lose weight...and he DID! In record time! If he can do it why aren't you in the gym??You don't need your friends to coax you there.Do it for YOURSELF,far too often people workout for other people,and when that perseeved fantasy fails,they give up.You seem to make time for the other things you do.

People do what they wanna do-people also DON'T do what they DONT wanna do,Perhaps you don't want a gym/beach body...

[ElrondHubbard]

Steron, that's a pretty inspiring tale worth telling!

[QAlphaNiner]

Two mentally challenged brothers come there,the more severe of the two being obese,he took it in his head he wanted to lose weight...and he DID! In record time! If he can do it why aren't you in the gym??You don't need your friends to coax you there.

Great point, Steron. It's easy to start getting complacent and looking for excuses. This quip really helped put things in perspective for me. Thank you.