Most cringe worthy moment you had with girl(s) ?[srs]

[Xylo]

-8th grade HBB oneitis invites me over to do homework
-just me and her
-get into conversation of girls/guys/sex (middle school stuff)
-somehow start messing around and shes on top of me
-asks how big my dink is
-tell her to get a ruler and ill let her know
-told her ill brb to the bathroom
-go into bathroom and pretend to do something for a few minutes
-come out and shes waiting in her room and wants me to go inside
-i for some reason insist we go back downstairs
-finished our homework assignment and my dad came and picked me up
-she started to date tyrone a couple months later (srs)

lmao at least you got your homework finished brah

[Jessome]

I don't actually have too many but one kind of stands out. Was talking to this chick for a few weeks, took her out to the movies. Was going to proceed to take her back to my house to smash. Was so stoked brahs was like 7/10 misc standards

She receives a phone call and I guess it's one of her friends and they ask what she's doing. She then proceeds to say:

"I'm with my friend."

At this point I'm like huh .. Well then. But I guess the reception was failing and the one on the other end couldn't hear so the conversation turned into:

"MY FRIEND *insert my name*"







"MY





FRIEND"








MY FRIEND



done a 360 bertstare to her house and dropped her off

[Ratfish]

aweir oh lawd


here's mine:
- at party and kissing girl
- we go upstairs
- we gon have sex
- i'm naked and then this cat literally attacks me if i touch the bed
- i manage to get it off
- she's in the bed ready for sexors, cat doesn't attack her, literally going for me
- she's like "come on, just ignore it"
- i try grabbing it and throwing it out the room but it is pouncing everywhere, going crazy
- eventually it goes and its in the corner, something like this:



- i try to have sexors but i can't get an erection because the cat is staring at me with death glare eyes and i'm scared it's going to attack me again
- "sorry i've drank too much"
- "you haven't drank much, am i too ugly?"
- she starts putting clothes back on
- i'm like "no wait please, let me just get this cat, then we'll go"
- she's like "the cat? seriously? you're pathetic, blah blah blah" and starts to leave room whilst i am still chasing cat
- i say "i got your number right?"
- she tells me to fuk off
- go downstairs in party and everyone is laughing at me for the cat bonrar-stopping system
- leave immediately

you gotta put the pussy on a pedestal, not in the corner breh

here's mine:

first time on OKCupid like 5-6 years ago
girl blocks most of her face in all of her photos
i think she's just shy
catfish weren't invented back then, so i decide to meet up
i walk into bar, see girl with same hair color and walk up to her
she has a friend with her and i think she is level 10 paranoid, so she brought a friend
i say fukk it, i'm gonna have a good time anyway
i'm wearing a bright pink campagnolo cycling cap turned to the side (dead srs)
i say to the girl "are you looking for me?"
her friend steps in between us and says "no, she's not"
i'm fukking reeling and i turn around and realize the real girl is sitting at the bar
i sit next to her and we hit it off and have a good time
those other two broads probably thought it was a pickup line and that it magically worked on this other girl

[cheesecake93]

you gotta put the pussy on a pedestal, not in the corner breh

here's mine:

first time on OKCupid like 5-6 years ago
girl blocks most of her face in all of her photos
i think she's just shy
catfish weren't invented back then, so i decide to meet up
i walk into bar, see girl with same hair color and walk up to her
she has a friend with her and i think she is level 10 paranoid, so she brought a friend
i say fukk it, i'm gonna have a good time anyway
i'm wearing a bright pink campagnolo cycling cap turned to the side (dead srs)
i say to the girl "are you looking for me?"
her friend steps in between us and says "no, she's not"
i'm fukking reeling and i turn around and realize the real girl is sitting at the bar
i sit next to her and we hit it off and have a good time
those other two broads probably thought it was a pickup line and that it magically worked on this other girl

lmao had something similar happen to me but this was in college/at a point when i no longer gave any phucks

hanging out with brahs pregaming going to bar, had just finished exams
girl on tinder tells me shes at a hookah bar across the street from the bar we're going to, tells me to bring a friend for her friend
3 of us show up wasted (extra friend tagged along for lulz)
theres 2 groups of people in hookah bar, 1 in front and 1 in far back.
ofc get the wrong group, they have no idea whats going on and assume we somehow know them/play along with it and pull up chairs etc for us
midway through this i realize this girls waving at me in the back, we apologize and bail from group 1
girl is a solid 3 points lower than she looked in her pics
her friend is a whale
theyre doing homework
we talk to them for a while at a certain point i cant take it any more and say im going to bathroom, walk out of hookah bar and across the street to bar
friends come over 20 mins later pissed

[Pennzoil22]

chick was an amazing pastry chef at a restaurant i used to work at in Sydney

after months of flirting, she invited me to her friends house

we end up on the fold-out sofa and kissing, i put my hands down her pants onto her snatch and her clitoris was the size of my big toe srs

it was huge, i think she was a hermaphrodite ... i stopped and it was really awkward

we did not have sex and she stopped talking to me

100% srs

Aaaaaaand we have a winner

[westsidelegacy]

Oh I got another one brahs

I was a promotional director in a classy restaurant / club and we had done a deal with a local clothing store. They gave us clothes for free to put their logos on our flyers and we invited them and their staff to the party. Anyways, I meet this really, really cute 8.5-9/10 ( and my standards are really ****ing high ). She's small ( 5'4 maybe ) got huge tits for her small frame ( like huge C cups ), a round ass and the cutest face ever, with a classy and natural look.

We chit chat, eventually I go behind the bar because it impresses them sloots, she orders a lot of shooters ( turns out she's the rich daughter of the man who actually owns the clothing store ), gets both of us drunk. I drag her behind the curtains that close some parts of the restaurant to the guests, we start making out and feelin' our bodies. I'm kinda mind-blown because she looks and sounded like the kind of girl you'd marry.

As she gets really drunk I invite her to sleep at my house, as she is with a friend a suggest she simply comes with us and I'll get them both back in the morning at my car. As we get in my home I start to realize it seems her friend is trying to bro her up because she quickly went to ''sleep'' on a couch and told us to go sleep in my room. As we get in my room, we start talking about ourselves. I tell her about my past, that I'm waiting for the right person to settle down, but I believe that having one nights or just sex for fun is better then settling for anyone just to solve sex. She tells me she has a boyfriend ( wut ) who's a dopedealer ( wait wut ) who does ******* on the regular and is broke as **** ( ehh ) and she knows she deserves better, can't stand him anymore.

We disregard the whole boyfriend thing as she mentions she decided she was quitting him now and would aware him next time she'll talk to him. I give her one of my shirts, she takes everything but her bras and panties off in front of me and puts my shirt on. At that point I'm horny as **** because she looks even better without clothes on, 11/10 body. We start to kiss n touch and even though she seems horny as **** she seems reluctant at every step. She finally lets me finger her and undo her bra, I tell her her tits and incredible and she awares me they're fake ( mind you, I've had at least 20+ fake tits in my life and these were just as close as real firm tits as it gets, dat dere rich father investment ), which surprises me, but they look so real anyways who gives a fawk. One thing leads to another she sucks my cock a bit, slowly and in a way that clearly shown she was a shy, reserved, more passionate then slutty type of girl ( which to me, is a huge turn on ). Eventually I flip her over, and try to introduce myself.

As I'm trying to be in the moment, I'm starting to feel real ****ing stupid because I can't find the ****ing hole. Mind you, I've had sex with over 150 women at that point, I know where the ****ing vagina is. She seems a little bit unsure about what I'm doing, we're in the missionary position and I don't want to give her the chance to cancel the thing so I keep on trying to find the hole. I'm basically searching between her lips her hole with my tip. She's wet as ****. I start pressing harder and I pop in her hole- I wondered if I hadn't just penetrated her ureta as it was the tightest thing ever- it was so tight I had a hard time going back in forth more then a single inch and that is very slowly.

I tell her she's incredibly tight and it's awesome, and we proceed to have very slow and kinda passionate but at the same time there's a weird feeling to it sex. After about 2 minutes she pushes me out and says there's something she has to tell me.

She was a virgin.

So I had just took the virginity of a 20 years old girl with the body of a goddess who's been in a relationship of over a year with an *******. It was mind blowing, she said she was grateful she lost it to me ( wtf I'm a stranger ? ) and the story pretty much ends there.

Maybe not the most cringe worthy in a loser perception but it was definitely the most awkward awesome situation I've been in.

[RedEarSlider]

^ wooot.

[auroturtle]

Oh I got another one brahs

I was a promotional director in a classy restaurant / club and we had done a deal with a local clothing store. They gave us clothes for free to put their logos on our flyers and we invited them and their staff to the party. Anyways, I meet this really, really cute 8.5-9/10 ( and my standards are really ****ing high ). She's small ( 5'4 maybe ) got huge tits for her small frame ( like huge C cups ), a round ass and the cutest face ever, with a classy and natural look.

We chit chat, eventually I go behind the bar because it impresses them sloots, she orders a lot of shooters ( turns out she's the rich daughter of the man who actually owns the clothing store ), gets both of us drunk. I drag her behind the curtains that close some parts of the restaurant to the guests, we start making out and feelin' our bodies. I'm kinda mind-blown because she looks and sounded like the kind of girl you'd marry.

As she gets really drunk I invite her to sleep at my house, as she is with a friend a suggest she simply comes with us and I'll get them both back in the morning at my car. As we get in my home I start to realize it seems her friend is trying to bro her up because she quickly went to ''sleep'' on a couch and told us to go sleep in my room. As we get in my room, we start talking about ourselves. I tell her about my past, that I'm waiting for the right person to settle down, but I believe that having one nights or just sex for fun is better then settling for anyone just to solve sex. She tells me she has a boyfriend ( wut ) who's a dopedealer ( wait wut ) who does ******* on the regular and is broke as **** ( ehh ) and she knows she deserves better, can't stand him anymore.

We disregard the whole boyfriend thing as she mentions she decided she was quitting him now and would aware him next time she'll talk to him. I give her one of my shirts, she takes everything but her bras and panties off in front of me and puts my shirt on. At that point I'm horny as **** because she looks even better without clothes on, 11/10 body. We start to kiss n touch and even though she seems horny as **** she seems reluctant at every step. She finally lets me finger her and undo her bra, I tell her her tits and incredible and she awares me they're fake ( mind you, I've had at least 20+ fake tits in my life and these were just as close as real firm tits as it gets, dat dere rich father investment ), which surprises me, but they look so real anyways who gives a fawk. One thing leads to another she sucks my cock a bit, slowly and in a way that clearly shown she was a shy, reserved, more passionate then slutty type of girl ( which to me, is a huge turn on ). Eventually I flip her over, and try to introduce myself.

As I'm trying to be in the moment, I'm starting to feel real ****ing stupid because I can't find the ****ing hole. Mind you, I've had sex with over 150 women at that point, I know where the ****ing vagina is. She seems a little bit unsure about what I'm doing, we're in the missionary position and I don't want to give her the chance to cancel the thing so I keep on trying to find the hole. I'm basically searching between her lips her hole with my tip. She's wet as ****. I start pressing harder and I pop in her hole- I wondered if I hadn't just penetrated her ureta as it was the tightest thing ever- it was so tight I had a hard time going back in forth more then a single inch and that is very slowly.

I tell her she's incredibly tight and it's awesome, and we proceed to have very slow and kinda passionate but at the same time there's a weird feeling to it sex. After about 2 minutes she pushes me out and says there's something she has to tell me.

She was a virgin.

So I had just took the virginity of a 20 years old girl with the body of a goddess who's been in a relationship of over a year with an *******. It was mind blowing, she said she was grateful she lost it to me ( wtf I'm a stranger ? ) and the story pretty much ends there.

Maybe not the most cringe worthy in a loser perception but it was definitely the most awkward awesome situation I've been in.

phucking mirin, cot dayumn

[Xylo]

you gotta put the pussy on a pedestal, not in the corner breh

here's mine:

first time on OKCupid like 5-6 years ago
girl blocks most of her face in all of her photos
i think she's just shy
catfish weren't invented back then, so i decide to meet up
i walk into bar, see girl with same hair color and walk up to her
she has a friend with her and i think she is level 10 paranoid, so she brought a friend
i say fukk it, i'm gonna have a good time anyway
i'm wearing a bright pink campagnolo cycling cap turned to the side (dead srs)
i say to the girl "are you looking for me?"
her friend steps in between us and says "no, she's not"
i'm fukking reeling and i turn around and realize the real girl is sitting at the bar
i sit next to her and we hit it off and have a good time
those other two broads probably thought it was a pickup line and that it magically worked on this other girl

haha that's not cringe, das alpha mane

[irmocool]

WHO: Me and my mate

WHAT:
- These 2 6/10's, nothing spectacular but essentially guaranteed lays cling to me and my brah while we are bar hoping dt.

-No effort made, these sloots literally came to us so , we move to the next bar they follow.

-My bud makes small talk with one, and as a wingman I knew my job. Considering both were decent I don't know why...but I was playing it way too cool for school

-Strategy generally works ,but you do have to put in some effort, gets to the point were I basically have to close with my girl, but I kinda just didn't try or give a phuck.

-Next thing I know the girls bounce and me and my brah are on the shuttle back to FA ville.

-Never will forget that night. Hold me brahs

WHEN: Junior Year

WHERE: University

HOW: Ended up masterbating with my tears that night

[AsiaPhilanderer]

I pulled out

[Changedmalife]

chick was an amazing pastry chef at a restaurant i used to work at in Sydney

after months of flirting, she invited me to her friends house

we end up on the fold-out sofa and kissing, i put my hands down her pants onto her snatch and her clitoris was the size of my big toe srs

it was huge, i think she was a hermaphrodite ... i stopped and it was really awkward

we did not have sex and she stopped talking to me

100% srs

That's a man baby

[sammywatkins]

I picked up this POF sloot and I'm not really one to cast judgement but her house was a wreck. She clearly lived at home in a white trash neighborhood but that never really stopped me before. She was pretty.
We get ice cream real quick and she gives me directions to a spot to smoke. We are in a small unused parking lot at an airport, basically just overlooking the runway. After we smoke we start making out and get into the back seat. I'm rubbing her pussy as the sun is setting and I see a police car pull in. She says "Oh ****. I already have four public indecency tickets." I don't even know how that happens.
We put our clothes on and aren't bothered by the officer. However at this point I now have to piss. And she does too. I get out and walk to a small wooded area. She follows and starts pissing like a dog on a tree. The girl literally lifted her leg. Half her jeans off and in the dirt. Horrifying sight. And she acted like this was normal.
We get back in my car and have some of the most shameful sex ever. Literally couldn't even finish. I basically just jerked off onto her tits.

[Poggyhehe]

Had girl over who thought she could smoke, well not me, got sick ended up laying in my bed brought her a tub to throw up in, threw up and i told her to gtfo.

fkn sloots when will they learn they cant handle to smoke with a real toker.

not the only time they got sick from smoking with me either but definantly the worst and the only one that threw up, fkn groce andy insta turnoff.

[Tshannn]

It was last year right before Christmas, I went to the mall with this girl to get gifts for family. We hungout at a friends house a little after, then eventually I dropped her off. As we got to her house and sitting in her driveway, she seemed hesitant to leave. We've both let it be known that we find each other attractive but we were nothing more than friends at that time. I realized I was sort of gaining dem dere feels for her so I went in for a kiss goodbye, and that is the precise moment I ****ed up. As I leaned in she instantly leaned first her body then her whole face away from me. Dead silence for 3 solid seconds as we both stare at each other. "Oh my god, im so sorry" she tells me. I was embarrassed and couldnt really think of anything to say except for "Wow, well this is awkward."

The worst part about it is she WOULDNT LEAVE after that happened. She stayed in the car for like 4 minutes after talking about what just happened. She was claiming she just wasnt expecting it, but I could still feel the rejection. I banged 5 months later though (wouldnt even call it that only got a few strokes in had the worst case of whiskey dick ever recorded but thats another story) and now we just laugh about.

[Yes-Xplode]

Had just started dating this girl and hooking up etc, and we were at her place and things were going well. Decide to go down on her for the first time, never been a huge fan of oral and only eaten out two other girls, but for some reason I wanted to do it that night. The taste was beyond horrible, not fishy, but incredibly salty and almost rotten. I forced myself to continue til she came because she would have suspected something if I stopped.

Next day she tells me she has a yeast infection, and asks if anything tasted strange because she wasn't sure when it kicked in. Of course, I had to lie, that taste haunts me to this day. We dated for a year and a half after that and I could never bring myself to eat her out again.

[OmzBrah]

Was with my ex at her bedroom for a while.

Proceed to buttfuk.

Pull out and have huge nugget stuck to my head.

Never did buttseks since.

[Tshannn]

Oooh another story thats actually legendary was my friend ****ing a girl we met on omegle 9 hours prior (so srs). It was this 7/10 and her ugly friend, me and 2 other friends. We talked and told her we were from Michigan, she goes omg me too. Turns out she lived 15 minutes away from us. First we got her to do a strip tease, then we got her number and she started sending nudes. Eventually she told my friend she wanted to **** him and to pick her up in the am, my friend being the true bro said he'll only do it if she sucks my dong too. So we wake up at 10 am on a early summer day which is unheard of, eager for puss and mouth. The plan was to eiffel tower her. We drive and meet her up in a park, shes with her ugly friend (we specifically told her not to bring her groce ugly friend). They see us, the 7/10 walks towards our car and the ugly friend legit marathon sprints away from us like we're ****philes or something. She gets in the car and its pretty awkward at first. By the way she talks I can tell shes a huge sloot. Her name was like Kayma or some ****, probably fake. Anyways we park at some middle school and says she doesnt want to go to france with us at the same time, so im like ok Ill get out and my friend can put in work. Then she said "yeah, you can go on the playground and jack off to us" or some chit like that. Which was really weird thing to say and kind of pissed me off. So after 20 minutes of me thinking how legendary this moment is and deterring some little kids from my car, my friend calls me and says "its time bro". I lmao'd my ass off and got back to the car while they were still getting dressed. Smelled like hot sweaty buttsex and I extremely turned off by the things she was saying. We sat in the car me and her for a minute and eventually I decided I wasnt down for the blowjob and just said Id drive her home. I was skeptical of gonorrhea of the mouth and all in all pretty annoyed/grossed out by the bitch so I didnt want anything to do with her really. My friend never caught anything from her though luckily. To this day I somewhat regret declining the blowjob, but oh well there will be more to come. And my friend and I got a kickass story to tell.

[brbgoingpotato]

most cringeworthy thing a girl did: took a thick ebony sloot home and got her nekkid and ready for action... whipped out my dink and had my rager lined up directly with the poosy, and then the stench of her dirty angus and stank puss hit me in the face like a left hook from Mike Tyson in his prime. My rager immediately shrank to the size of a raisin and I literally just fell down on my bed and went to sleep. When I awoke the next morning, she had gone, but the smell of her dirty parts lingered for the rest of the week.

most cringeworthy thing I did: I went through a period during college where I was too nervous to bang chicks even though sloots were all over me. I would have a hot sloot on top of me, titties in my face, ass in my hands, and I wasn't even thinking about sex at all I was just anxious to leave. Anyway this one sloot had me over at her house and we fell asleep after making out and I woke up to her jerking me in the middle of the night. She went in for the kill and started blowing me and my dink immediately went limp. She kept trying and I told her it wasn't happening. She got offended and I said these exact words "I commend your efforts" and went to sleep. Fukking most *******y british sounding chit I could have possibly said LEL

runner up: when I was 12-13 I had my first girlfriend and on our second real date we went to the movies to see Austin Powers 2. She was already pissed at me because I was too scared to kiss her on our first date, so she was expecting some action in the movie theater. All I could bring myself to do was rub her leg, but it wasn't like I put my hand on her leg and sensually caressed her thigh... I literally took two knuckles and dragged them along the side of her thigh like 5 times and then stopped. I am laughing my ass off right now just thinking about it.

[Pennzoil22]

O lawd these novels

*grabs popcorn*

[NBisMe]

One time my buddy was chatting to three sexies at the bar we were at. I walked over with our beers and said "Hello girls, I'm Matt. Here *handed buddy beer*"

The hottest girl there: "Yeah, you're definitely not welcome in this conversation."

Me: "Ouch. Come find me later, dude.", then I just walked off. (a few friends were wandering about, intended to go find them)

Like the good pal he is, he told them to **** themselves and followed me off. It stung bad man, I had never been outright told off like that, for no reason either. Guess they didn't like my face.

Kunts lol, you handled that nicely and your friend did even better. At least you didn't get all butthurt and you acted like you didn't give a phuck, then icing on the cake was your friend telling them to phuck off. 10/10.

[Xylo]

most cringeworthy thing a girl did: took a thick ebony sloot home and got her nekkid and ready for action... whipped out my dink and had my rager lined up directly with the poosy, and then the stench of her dirty angus and stank puss hit me in the face like a left hook from Mike Tyson in his prime. My rager immediately shrank to the size of a raisin and I literally just fell down on my bed and went to sleep. When I awoke the next morning, she had gone, but the smell of her dirty parts lingered for the rest of the week.

most cringeworthy thing I did: I went through a period during college where I was too nervous to bang chicks even though sloots were all over me. I would have a hot sloot on top of me, titties in my face, ass in my hands, and I wasn't even thinking about sex at all I was just anxious to leave. Anyway this one sloot had me over at her house and we fell asleep after making out and I woke up to her jerking me in the middle of the night. She went in for the kill and started blowing me and my dink immediately went limp. She kept trying and I told her it wasn't happening. She got offended and I said these exact words "I commend your efforts" and went to sleep. Fukking most *******y british sounding chit I could have possibly said LEL

runner up: when I was 12-13 I had my first girlfriend and on our second real date we went to the movies to see Austin Powers 2. She was already pissed at me because I was too scared to kiss her on our first date, so she was expecting some action in the movie theater. All I could bring myself to do was rub her leg, but it wasn't like I put my hand on her leg and sensually caressed her thigh... I literally took two knuckles and dragged them along the side of her thigh like 5 times and then stopped. I am laughing my ass off right now just thinking about it.

"I commend your efforts"

lmao

[NBisMe]

-Cute girl at community college asked me if I needed help finding my books (she worked there)
-I said "im all set ty"
-Kicking myself for not saying "no, but you can help me with something else. i just got a new phone..." etc etc etc

everything else has gone smoothly


If I went on a date and she had 20 friends, I'd insta ditch and go the fuk home. I go on dates for the girl, not her and her 20 friends. jesus christ.

you do realize they're required to ask that pretty much right

[brosharky]

There are too many moments, but I'll try to list some highlights. Currently 20yr College Junior, somewhat aesthetic especially since I'm in the best shape of my life, but there has been too much cringe in my life. Thankfully I'm not nearly as awkward as I once was:

- So I was a sophomore in college and still a virgin, and I was desperately trying to lose it. I had a handful of chances, but always backed out for some strange reason, but what happens next is absolutely disgusting. I was on craigslist trying to find a girl to fk, and eventually agreed to invite this 25yr girl to my shet apartment when my roommate was gone (watching a game with some friends at their dorm). The girl comes in, I tell her I'm a beta virgin and eager to try, she is a 4/10 ebony pudgsickle but chill as fk. Says I can do anything I want to her if I want, and that she is completely clean. So I take her to my room which is complete poverty, and she lies on my broken futon which is on the ground completely naked. I proceed to finger blast her roast beef with the intensity of 100 virgins, to which she asked for me to get a condom. Shaking, disgusted, and confused, I grab the condom, and as I'm unwrapping it and about to lose my v card my roommate gets back to the apartment (which is dead-bolted). I tell him I have a chick over (sounded somewhat alpha, he didn't know any specifics lol), kick her out, he comes back 15 mins later.

- Lose V card a few weeks later to chick off tinder. Legit 3/10 whale with pancakes, got cat-fished hard from her 8.5/10 pics. Was desperate and willing to lose it, and we drank a lot of fireball before so that seemed to help. Would fk her several more times, each time swearing to myself that I'd go NC since she was so disgusting. She went to my college but thankfully nobody ever found out.

- That next summer, was on OKC and wanted to act on my long-time MILF/Cougar fantasy. Ended up smashing a 5/10 40yr (without kids) who apparently had an affair with a buddhist monk in her past (fuarking lol).

- Hottest girl in middle school had a thing for me 6-8 grade, I was beta af and would talk to her on AIM but NEVER in person. Never acted upon it, even though we told each other we liked one another several times.

- Me and ex (only gf I've ever had, more of a fwb guy) SR year in HS never had sex, most I ever got was a handjob that was terrible and dry until she awkwardly spat in her hand. Finger blasted her (also virgin), but after it started "feeling too good" she never allowed it again, also never got BJ throughout our 6mo relationship. On prom night, we didn't dance once since she was awk and illogical, but we both ended up DDing for friends that night.

- Most embarrassing sex experience I've had was with a 28yr mexican chick I met off OKC (went through a weird phase). Ended up banging her on the 2nd date, claiming I last for over 30 minutes (which was true 100% of the time). I lasted <2 minutes, had a post-ejac reality check of what I was doing, then bounced. I would text her another time when I was trying to end a dry spell, again lasted <2 minutes which still stumps me to this day.

- Most recent, me and current FWB have hung out a lot recently (she has feels, which sucks but will probably last a little longer since sex is so good for both of us). We hang out a few days ago, make out and start fingering her in the living room while roommate is upstairs and definitely coming down soon. She is wet af, loud, roommate comes down since she is leaving and probably saw some of it (FWB had no underwear on and legs as-pread in the air). Continue fingering her since I wanted to make her squirt for the first time (said she did one time recently fingering herself), and after a few minutes the show began (inb4 it's piss). While she's at the peak the doorbell rings, which ruins it and it ends up being the mailman lol. Comes back, a few minutes later giant squirting show which was more intriguing than it was hot.

[Gt3x24x7]

Every moment I have with any girl is considered cringe-worthy unfortunately

After so much rejection, I just stopped giving a **** and don't give a **** about what people think anymore

[Condyle]

Dude took pity on my and my fat, FA ways as a teen, teed up for me and his GF's pal to get it on. It was a doubledate thing in his detached house thing, we all got high, whatever. He turns off the light, go time.

It's pitch black. I start feeling over, was wondering what the soft thing was. Poked it. Ends up being her sideboob.

Poking a girl's sideboob ruins any chance of subsequent smashing. This is what I learned that day.

One other was I was bundled into a car to go to a party one day with no chance to change. Was very hot day, been walking all day, my feet were rancid. Picked up at the party. Everything going fine, go back to her place to smash.

It was one of those 'shoes off' places. Chit. Chit chit chit. I took off my shoes and you could see the waft of stench hit her upside the head.

No smash for me.

[pablocai]

oh lawd, had tons of those moments where you just want to disappear....at the end of the day, we all go through that

[pnlp]

Fuark, kicking myself over this one. Really fkin long story though.

Backstory:
Meet a beautiful eurasian girl at the library while study for exams.
Cold approach and get her number.
Been hanging out for a couple of weeks, becomes oneitis cos she isn't a sloot, intelligent and shares alot of common interest.
She told me "you're not like every other asian i know, they're all rowdy and party too hard. You're real nice."
Chitbrix cos i actually am rowdy on weekends.
Keep up my "nice guy" image around her while still mucking around with fwb and stuff (back up plan yknow), going clubbing, poppin pills etc. (Which she hates)

The Story:
So by this point we've been hanging out for 2 months now and she has a house party and invites me and my mate.
Since she lives on the other side of town she says its alright for me to crash since the party will go on to late.
My mate has been out of the game for a while and asks me if its okay if he talks to her.
This guy has been my best brother for 12 years, i felt selfish holding onto this girl all to myself while im still mucking around.
I told him, "go for it if you can, i'll just have fun and make friends. Not gonna make the party based around her"
He thanks me and we go.
Arrive at her house, its a fawkin mansion.
Heaps of people, outdoor pool, crazy party.
Say hi to her and spend the whole night making new friends.
About 2am and the party is starting to die out.
Her friend approaches me and says "Youre the guy she always talks about blahblah, you guys should totally date!"
Drunk a.f me says "yeah but im not the kinda guy she actually likes,"
Proceed to tell her friend what im actually like
Friend says "You should tell her, would be really good. She appreciates honesty"
I'm like fuark true, why not? So i wonder around the house and find her in the kitchen having a chat with my mate.
Mate says, "Hey im really tired, where am i crashing tonight"
Oneitis says "Oh just crash on the couch i'll get you some blankets in a bit"
Mate looking shut down goes to the living room and crashes.
Just me and oneitis left, "Need to have a chat"
She takes me to her room and i flop onto the bed.
Horny me kicking in, "Here come lie down next to me"
She sits. (Innocent a.f FUARRR)
"Would you be cut at me if i told you that i wasn't being completely honest" i say
"Depends on what it was about"
Stupid drunk me tells her everything,
"Wow i never knew you were THAT kind of guy" she says
"You're a legit 10/10 to me, i have no other intentions but to be with you but i can't do that if im gonna lie to you"
She agrees and finally lies down next to me.
"So what are your intentions with me exactly"
"To date, i mean id phuck you rn but you're really fkin drunk and that'd mean i'd be taking advantage of you. Unless you gave me a green light of some sorts"
She rolls in next to me and smiles,
Look at her and fuarking raging bonrar.
Jump on her and start going crazy.
Pull her top off and play with her nipples.
Kissing my way down to stomach , she moaning and pulling my hair. About to unbutton her jeans.
"Wait, you know i'm a virgin right..."
I freeze and look at her.
Realise that she's drunk as phuck and pure and innocent.
Think to myself that i couldn't ruin that image.
I say to her, "Yeah, we're both drunk asf, it wouldnt be good for you to lose it this way."
We just make out till we pass out.
Wake up the next morning and she thanks me for the night.
On my way home and she texts me saying "Thanks for the night see you soon x"

Cringing cos i went full beta on a oneitis when i coulda just done what i normally do and smash to hearts content.


CLIFFS:
Did not smash HBB ONEITIS and take virginity when given the chance cos didn't wanna ruin her pure image.

[watto33]

My first girlfriend, me and her we're at the shops and I said

"Should we try making out when we get back to mine"... we started making out a lot after that

Again with first girlfriend... literally hung out with her for 4 hours and we were chatting on MSN telling each other how much we like each other with excessive use of "Haha" and "" ""



Fast forward 5 years, new girlfriend.. absolutely poosy whipped. She would comment on guys ******** pictures on how they were, she would give her number out to guys and I would just sit and think "Nah it's cool"

I would slap the absolute chit out of anyone who went through with what I went through but alas you live and learn. Now I'm made of stone and give 0 phucks about sloots

[Takezaki]

Had a girl meet me at my place.

We decide to go somewhere else and before I leave I feel the urge to take a ****. I try to play it down by telling her I need to brush my teeth.

Proceed to the bathroom, turn the tap on and brush my teeth while taking a ****. Some toothpaste falls out of my mouth onto my black boxers.

We go out to the mall and I forget about the toothpaste. At some point we're talking about lingerie and underwear and she asks me what type I like to wear myself.. Without thinking twice I lift my shirt up and show her what I'm wearing at the moment, exposing this huge cum like stain just below the waistband. She bert stares me, I nearly pass out as I'm nervously trying to explain what the stain is and we change subject.

''Yeah rrrrrrrrrrright, toothpaste huh ''