Signs you are dating a borderline woman

[deadliftbrah19]

I was with my ex wife for 9 years. That ended in December 2006. I have had more than my fair share of women since but the VAST majority of them have had big time issues. It actually had become a running gag among my friends. Hell my Ex wifes bff used to call me "captain save a ho"

The women that have these issues rarely see it as a problem. No matter how bluntly you put it to them or show them on paper how it is effecting their and my or their childrens lives.

I have to agree with you on this. I'm dealing with a woman at my gym whom I am certain is Borderline yet it is "not her fault, it's everyone else's fault". Meanwhile she is 35, never married, short term relationships, manipulative, jumps from job to job, with a drop dead gorgeous fitness model physique. She posts on ******** that someone "ALWAYS" stabs her in the back, that it's never her fault, everyone is jealous of her looks and her men, etc. etc.

She loves ******** and IG and posts a ton of revealing photos.

She's classic Histronic and Borderline Personality Disorder, but she won't get help. It's everyone else's fault.

I sucked it up, paid $100 a class, took 2 hours out of my busy schedule every Wednesday night for 6 months to go to DBT class. If she can't do that, then I can't help her.

But of course since I have some Borderline traits and an eating disorder that started from cutting, I'm attracted to these type of women.

[Latslikewings]

Yes but it is treatable with Dialectical Behavioral Therapy. The guys in this thread just want to whine and complain like typical women, not do something about the problem. I thought MEN wanted solutions, not to just complain?

I KNOW I'VE SEEN BORDERLINE PERSONALITY DISORDER PEOPLE CHANGE WITH DBT. SOME CHANGED DRAMATICALLY WITH THE DBT COURSE/GROUP I TOOK LAST YEAR. OTHERS MISSED SESSIONS/DID NOT GIVE A FUK/AND STAYED IN THEIR OWN DRAMA-FILLED MISERABLE LIVES.

Yet the typical response is to run away and leave someone vs. show compassion and try to get them to go to DBT. If they don't go or follow DBT, then leave them.

Don't just run because guess what, you'll be running from every female then for any little problem and end up alone. Will you run from your wife if she gets cancer? Then why just run from your girlfriend?

Why not research the issue, request she get professional help and for Borderlines that is DBT and for some, medication, THEN run if she doesn't get this help?

Cancer is not an appropriate comparison. You are comparing a condition that one does not have control over (cancer) to one that a person does (BPD, Alcoholism, etc).

[snucks]

I have to agree with you on this. I'm dealing with a woman at my gym whom I am certain is Borderline yet it is "not her fault, it's everyone else's fault". Meanwhile she is 35, never married, short term relationships, manipulative, jumps from job to job, with a drop dead gorgeous fitness model physique. She posts on ******** that someone "ALWAYS" stabs her in the back, that it's never her fault, everyone is jealous of her looks and her men, etc. etc.

She loves ******** and IG and posts a ton of revealing photos.

She's classic Histronic and Borderline Personality Disorder, but she won't get help. It's everyone else's fault.

I sucked it up, paid $100 a class, took 2 hours out of my busy schedule every Wednesday night for 6 months to go to DBT class. If she can't do that, then I can't help her.

But of course since I have some Borderline traits and an eating disorder that started from cutting, I'm attracted to these type of women.

I'm at the point now where I am not attracted to these types. I don't have as much choice in woman as some of the dudes on this site apparently. I kinda get what I can get and since what I have been getting has been these dented can type women it must mean that's all I rate. I pulled out of the game for more than a year and a half and will probably do it again until another 'special' sloot comes along and then we'll see. In the meantime im just going to keep on keeping on.

[deadliftbrah19]

Cancer is not an appropriate comparison. You are comparing a condition that one does not have control over (cancer) to one that a person does (BPD, Alcoholism, etc).

OK, Diabetes is a better analogy since that can be mostly controlled by sugar/carbohydrate intake. And I wasn't directly comparing BPD to Cancer, I'm just saying that the "run" mentality can be used with any issue - BPD, Cancer, etc.

Anyways why are you so mad? Again, here is what I propose:

1. If she is borderline, suggest she go to DBT and follow it daily
2. If she doesn't, leave

Easy solution to the problem.

Edit: I see you repped me, thanks and sending measly reps back.

[Latslikewings]

OK, Diabetes is a better analogy since that can be mostly controlled by sugar/carbohydrate intake. And I wasn't directly comparing BPD to Cancer, I'm just saying that the "run" mentality can be used with any issue - BPD, Cancer, etc.

Anyways why are you so mad? Again, here is what I propose:

1. If she is borderline, suggest she go to DBT and follow it daily
2. If she doesn't, leave

Easy solution to the problem.

Edit: I see you repped me, thanks and sending measly reps back.

My posts have not been directed at you, but rather at that stupid fukking red bish that has no idea what she is talking about.

My ex (diagnosed) was in DBT. Didn't do sh!t for her. Not saying DBT doesnt work, but you have to be committed to it and she wasn't. Besides the point, it isn't my job to police her and make sure she is doing the stuff she should be. That suggests more of a parent-child relationship (which is what we had in hindsight than an equal partnership. I still maintain it isn't your job to fix someone else. Understand I do not mean, "oh, she has cancer, i'm not going to pay for her treatments", but rather if someone is an alcoholic it isn't my job to slap the bottle out of their hands, it is on them to make the change.

[candyman99]

I see you also fall into the "WHINE AND COMPLAIN" camp and don't do anything to resolve the problem.

Holy hell I thought women were the worst yappers and complainers until I entered this thread.

I mean yes, women are the lazy and entitled gender, but I did see change with DBT and I use DBT in my every day life.

I would not have survived working 60 hour weeks for 3 months and giving presentations to executives without DBT.

Not do anything about it? Most guys unfortunate enough to date a chick with BPD don't even find out about borderline personality disorder until months/years after they have broken up with the girl. And you are the exception to the rule, good luck telling a chick with BPD she needs help. Most of them try to convince the guy that he's the crazy one

[snucks]

Not do anything about it? Most guys unfortunate enough to date a chick with BPD don't even find out about borderline personality disorder until months/years after they have broken up with the girl. And you are the exception to the rule, good luck telling a chick with BPD she needs help. Most of them try to convince the guy that he's the crazy one

This is what happened to me with one of the ex's. Her exact words were "maybe it is all in YOUR head". It got to the point where I was doubting myself and thinking I was actually full on crazy. Up was down red was blue. That woman had me straight up twisted and confused.

[Latslikewings]

This is what happened to me with one of the ex's. Her exact words were "maybe it is all in YOUR head". It got to the point where I was doubting myself and thinking I was actually full on crazy. Up was down red was blue. That woman had me straight up twisted and confused.

There is an actual term for it even. Gaslighting.

[HelpfulBrah]

She left you because you're a decent person who treated her with respect. I dated a girl with lots of the same daddy issues, abusive history etc. and she had a list of ex's who were drug abusers or complete asshats. It actually concerned me pretty quickly, because I'm from a stable, happy family - and I worried that she was subconsciously seeking a fcuked up dude.

I can't believe I used to think that past didn't really matter. It's a very strong indicator, childhood experiences and relationship with parents are one of my biggest flags right now. I won't necessarily judge the girl of course, but I'm acutely aware of the impact.

Yea my parents treated her like family, mom loved her. But I know now to watch for things like this. She was my very first serious relationship and lost virginity to her, she'll never know. She broke me hard to where I have no feelings to any women right now even with a gf I don't feel anything towards her. The things I would do for this women were beyond me, I didn't know any better. we would text every minute of the day for two years. Call each other at night every night. Now I probably won't do that again with any female. I'm so over love at the moment, I just want to work on myself and do me for a long time. She kinda made me into a bitter fck when I comes to relations.

[deadliftbrah19]

Not do anything about it? Most guys unfortunate enough to date a chick with BPD don't even find out about borderline personality disorder until months/years after they have broken up with the girl. And you are the exception to the rule, good luck telling a chick with BPD she needs help. Most of them try to convince the guy that he's the crazy one

And how many BPD girls have you dated in order to make this statement "good luck telling a BPD girl she needs help".

Maybe it's good I'm the exception. It just rustles my jimmies that people label me as "crazy" and "unstable" and run from relationships with me, and just want me for sex when I am seeking help and working to improve myself. My ex was the worst with this.

Even though I did all of the treatment, I was still seen as "broken" and my ex was "perfect with no problems". So that is why I get upset when I see people run from BPDs, because I've been the one who has been run from.

And it's not like I asked to have this. I didn't wake up one day and say "yes I would love to have bulimia and spend hours with my in the toilet, destroy my eso****us, my mind and risk death", it just happened after I started dieting, after 6 months of eating tasteless fat-free greek yogurt, tilapia, brown rice and sweet potatoes, losing 30 lbs with very little energy and dizzy spells, my body started to rebel and intense cravings came on, and I freaked and tried to get rid of it.

After DBT, now I'm 11 months bulimia free.

[Smykowski]

I see you also fall into the "WHINE AND COMPLAIN" camp and don't do anything to resolve the problem.

Holy hell I thought women were the worst yappers and complainers until I entered this thread.

I mean yes, women are the lazy and entitled gender, but I did see change with DBT and I use DBT in my every day life.

I would not have survived working 60 hour weeks for 3 months and giving presentations to executives without DBT.

There are some guys who date women with BPD who also have personality disorders which you should keep in mind however I don't think most of them are on this board.

That's an interesting take you have. I understand a lot of people are complaining which they have a right to. I think DBT helped my gf, when she was going. She did tell me she knew everything already and it seemed like a waste of time. However I think the sessions and the repetition of going to something like that can be helpful however she quit going. I wish we she would start going again. She said the people were annoying as **** which they probably were.

I didn't read you're entire post carefully and I was about to say it sounds like you have BPD by reading your first line but as I go on typing it appears you do have BPD? The way you talk sounds like my girlfriend. Defensive, which I understand. But if you do have BPD you wont ever understand the perspective that we have which is why it's so difficult for us. While you think we are whining(and some people just are) and complaining we bottle up everything and sit here like keyboard warriors spewing away the rest of our shallow, empty-emotionless life, that some significant other might have dug us for which we didn't see until we were completely buried neck deep. It's not easy digging yourself out of a hole when your arms are buried. It's not easy dealing with someone who doesn't want to help themselves meanwhile you get worse and it eats away at yourself. Yes that is partly our fault. Some people have battered women syndrome. Some people don't know about their girlfriends deceit or lying. But don't act so callous

edit: I suppose you're just sticking up for people who have bpd which is fine. I'm sure not everyone is terrible and I don't they are. My girlfriend isn't bad. I've been around far worse women. She has not been that bad but it is very difficult being with her especially considering everything I've read about BPD unless she's hidden stuff which she probably is but you can only hide stuff for so long

[Luc1fer]

This is what happened to me with one of the ex's. Her exact words were "maybe it is all in YOUR head". It got to the point where I was doubting myself and thinking I was actually full on crazy. Up was down red was blue. That woman had me straight up twisted and confused.

I had more drama with this girl in 4 weeks than I had in the past 10 years of my life. That's good enough for me to get out, regardless of hot she is or whether or not she would be diagnosed with BPD (since there's a spectrum).

Sure, it could be just a series of miscommunication. When I mentioned to her that it was weird that we were having so many dumb little arguments and misunderstanding this early on, she said we're probably just getting used to each other. Which isn't necessarily wrong, but when I put everything together and read about BPD, I really don't wanna get sucked into anything. Risk vs. reward for me.

And how many BPD girls have you dated in order to make this statement "good luck telling a BPD girl she needs help".

Maybe it's good I'm the exception. It just rustles my jimmies that people label me as "crazy" and "unstable" and run from relationships with me, and just want me for sex when I am seeking help and working to improve myself. My ex was the worst with this.

Even though I did all of the treatment, I was still seen as "broken" and my ex was "perfect with no problems". So that is why I get upset when I see people run from BPDs, because I've been the one who has been run from.

And it's not like I asked to have this. I didn't wake up one day and say "yes I would love to have bulimia and spend hours with my in the toilet, destroy my eso****us, my mind and risk death", it just happened after I started dieting, after 6 months of eating tasteless fat-free greek yogurt, tilapia, brown rice and sweet potatoes, losing 30 lbs with very little energy and dizzy spells, my body started to rebel and intense cravings came on, and I freaked and tried to get rid of it.

After DBT, now I'm 11 months bulimia free.

I don't think anyone is saying that there's give & take, and sacrifices to be made to make a relationship work. But surely you can't blame a sane, healthy person from walking away from a situation which is classicly known to destroy them psychologically. You're better off working through your BPD issues and then re-entering the dating scene. It is situational though of course. I'm not one to just walk away from issues, but I'm just 1 month in; there's no point in me continuing, as selfish as that may seem.

[snucks]

I had more drama with this girl in 4 weeks than I had in the past 10 years of my life. That's good enough for me to get out, regardless of hot she is or whether or not she would be diagnosed with BPD (since there's a spectrum).

Sure, it could be just a series of miscommunication. When I mentioned to her that it was weird that we were having so many dumb little arguments and misunderstanding this early on, she said we're probably just getting used to each other. Which isn't necessarily wrong, but when I put everything together and read about BPD, I really don't wanna get sucked into anything. Risk vs. reward for me.



I don't think anyone is saying that there's give & take, and sacrifices to be made to make a relationship work. But surely you can't blame a sane, healthy person from walking away from a situation which is classicly known to destroy them psychologically. You're better off working through your BPD issues and then re-entering the dating scene. It is situational though of course. I'm not one to just walk away from issues, but I'm just 1 month in; there's no point in me continuing, as selfish as that may seem.

you have to know yourself for sure. Back then I didn't know any different and I no longer have that as an excuse. If I get caught up in some chit again it is 100% my fault.
I'm all about the risk vs reward

[deadliftbrah19]

There are some guys who date women with BPD who also have personality disorders which you should keep in mind however I don't think most of them are on this board.

That's an interesting take you have. I understand a lot of people are complaining which they have a right to. I think DBT helped my gf, when she was going. She did tell me she knew everything already and it seemed like a waste of time. However I think the sessions and the repetition of going to something like that can be helpful however she quit going. I wish we she would start going again. She said the people were annoying as **** which they probably were.

I didn't read you're entire post carefully and I was about to say it sounds like you have BPD by reading your first line but as I go on typing it appears you do have BPD? The way you talk sounds like my girlfriend. Defensive, which I understand. But if you do have BPD you wont ever understand the perspective that we have which is why it's so difficult for us. While you think we are whining(and some people just are) and complaining we bottle up everything and sit here like keyboard warriors spewing away the rest of our shallow, empty-emotionless life, that some significant other might have dug us for which we didn't see until we were completely buried neck deep. It's not easy digging yourself out of a hole when your arms are buried. It's not easy dealing with someone who doesn't want to help themselves meanwhile you get worse and it eats away at yourself. Yes that is partly our fault. Some people have battered women syndrome. Some people don't know about their girlfriends deceit or lying. But don't act so callous

edit: I suppose you're just sticking up for people who have bpd which is fine. I'm sure not everyone is terrible and I don't they are. My girlfriend isn't bad. I've been around far worse women. She has not been that bad but it is very difficult being with her especially considering everything I've read about BPD unless she's hidden stuff which she probably is but you can only hide stuff for so long

I have some traits of BPD but I don't clinically qualify as BPD according to the DBT therapist. My main issue is an eating disorder.

I'm sure that dating a woman with BPD who doesn't get help is draining and exhausting. I know, I married an alcoholic and my life was in chaos. Then I chose anorexia, compulsive overeating and bulimia to cope, which albeit are unhealthy coping mechanisms. DBT helped me to learn to self soothe my distress in a healthy way instead of dieting.

I just obviously fear abandonment to the nth degree (that's one BPD trait I have) and the fact that guys in this thread say to run from a girl with BPD makes me fear abandonment even more. I just want to be in love and be happy, not be used for just sex. I have more to offer than just sex. I did not ask to end up this way, and my parents are quick to point out that I had zero psychological problems until I got married to an alcoholic family at 22.

I feel like in most relationships I'm the one who cares more, and I have to do most of the chasing for the emotional side of it, but most chase me for just sex because as they said in this thread, BPD sufferers are great at sex. Another BPD quality I have.

I don't cut, I've never been suicidal and other items which would give me the clinical diagnosis of BPD. I probably have Narcisstic Personality Disorder more than BPD.

I don't ask anyone to "fix" me, I just want love, support, affection, and I give that in return. But the people I do find are sneaking around on Tinder and being sketch, but keep me around for the sex. Or people I date just disappear on me, and come back around for the sex.

It's so frustrating.

[Luc1fer]

you have to know yourself for sure. Back then I didn't know any different and I no longer have that as an excuse. If I get caught up in some chit again it is 100% my fault.
I'm all about the risk vs reward

I don't blame you at that age. I didn't even bother with dating during my 20's; actually didn't have much of a desire to have a gf at all. I enjoyed being single, independent, focused on my skills, my training, confidence and self-worth. When I hit 30, I entered the dating scene. I'm actually glad I did it this way; I still try to date women ~ age 25 so it's all good; I am concerned that I could continue end up with girls with issues though. At least my experiences have helped me to constructively build red flags - the biggest of which is parental/childhood issues at this point.

I'm also cognizant that pretty girls may be more likely to have issues. I really don't know if there is a real correlation here, but it makes sense when you consider that pretty girls don't need to work on their personality/issues and will continue to get attention and partners regardless.

[kjoel007]

Latslikewings: brah, please ignore MeFromG if you value your sanity. She's beyond delusional.

[snucks]

I don't blame you at that age. I didn't even bother with dating during my 20's; actually didn't have much of a desire to have a gf at all. I enjoyed being single, independent, focused on my skills, my training, confidence and self-worth. When I hit 30, I entered the dating scene. I'm actually glad I did it this way; I still try to date women ~ age 25 so it's all good; I am concerned that I could continue end up with girls with issues though. At least my experiences have helped me to constructively build red flags - the biggest of which is parental/childhood issues at this point.

I'm also cognizant that pretty girls may be more likely to have issues. I really don't know if there is a real correlation here, but it makes sense when you consider that pretty girls don't need to work on their personality/issues and will continue to get attention and partners regardless.

I was married through my 20s. I didnt start dating until after I separated. Single life was totally alien to me because I didnt remember a time when i wasn't with my ex wife.

I have observed that attractive girls do in fact have more issues than the mud ducks. Two different sloot peeps told me a few weeks ago that "your girl picker" is broken and thats why I have trouble. I dont pick chit. When you have one sloot make plans then flake on you twice and you have another sloot whose pushing three bills another whos 50 and cant have kids and another whos 28 attractive doesnt flake and talks about getting to know me better which fuarking one am i going to pursue? There is no choice there and every single dude i know would have gone the same direction.

[candyman99]

I can honestly say I'd relive my borderline experience all over again regardless of how ****ed up she was and how much pain she caused me in the end. . Even if the woman I fell for wasnt real per say, those first 1=2 months.... by far the biggest high I've ever had in my life. These women just have the ability to make you feel incredibly alive....like a drug indeed. I think the biggest tragedy of falling for a borderline is that you'll always view normal women as extremely boring

[deadliftbrah19]

I was married through my 20s. I didnt start dating until after I separated. Single life was totally alien to me because I didnt remember a time when i wasn't with my ex wife.

I have observed that attractive girls do in fact have more issues than the mud ducks. Two different sloot peeps told me a few weeks ago that "your girl picker" is broken and thats why I have trouble. I dont pick chit. When you have one sloot make plans then flake on you twice and you have another sloot whose pushing three bills another whos 50 and cant have kids and another whos 28 attractive doesnt flake and talks about getting to know me better which fuarking one am i going to pursue? There is no choice there and every single dude i know would have gone the same direction.

What does pushing three bills mean?

You say there is no choice, so did you pick the one who is, 28 attractive doesnt flake and talks about getting to know me better? Was she BPD?

[wigbang]

Been reading and i've read a few other posts about these types of women on here before because i've known one for 3 years now. Dated for about a year and been on and off hooking up here and there since (stupid i know). Everything in this thread is great stuff... they all follow a similar pattern with their own variations of things and it's pretty therapeutic to talk about this stuff. One of the things i read on here is how they keep gifts from all their ex's as a trophy or something like they've conquered you and talk about their ex's or show you something they have of their ex still etc.... This honestly sent a chill down my spine because back not only did she do that but when i was dating this girl she would always ask me to buy her something "sparkly"... well the first time i ever bought her some 200 dollar necklace for xmas she said she was so happy and wanted it so she'd have "something to remember me by"... Unbelievable... like she knew it was going to end and wanted to just make sure she got something out of me before hand... At the time I obviously didn't think anything of it and still didn't until I read this thread and it hit me. Pretty ****ed up brahs, we dated for a few months after that and that's when it ended the first time.. left me for some drug dealer/addict loser who's been to jail and **** lol. You're right about those first few months though. It sucks because i don't think i'll ever find a girl that i'm as into as her again... these women are just masters at getting dudes hooked. Whether they realize it or not. Stay strong/safe brahs. North Carolinaaaaaa!

[snucks]

What does pushing three bills mean?

You say there is no choice, so did you pick the one who is, 28 attractive doesnt flake and talks about getting to know me better? Was she BPD?

300 pounds.
Older women tend to like me a lot too.
Yeah the 28 yr old was a semi recent sloot.
Atleast with me the best looking girls i have ever attracted have been by far he most aggressive in their attempts to hang out with me. Buuuut they hqve also been the most fuked in the head.

[snucks]

Been reading and i've read a few other posts about these types of women on here before because i've known one for 3 years now. Dated for about a year and been on and off hooking up here and there since (stupid i know). Everything in this thread is great stuff... they all follow a similar pattern with their own variations of things and it's pretty therapeutic to talk about this stuff. One of the things i read on here is how they keep gifts from all their ex's as a trophy or something like they've conquered you and talk about their ex's or show you something they have of their ex still etc.... This honestly sent a chill down my spine because back not only did she do that but when i was dating this girl she would always ask me to buy her something "sparkly"... well the first time i ever bought her some 200 dollar necklace for xmas she said she was so happy and wanted it so she'd have "something to remember me by"... Unbelievable... like she knew it was going to end and wanted to just make sure she got something out of me before hand... At the time I obviously didn't think anything of it and still didn't until I read this thread and it hit me. Pretty ****ed up brahs, we dated for a few months after that and that's when it ended the first time.. left me for some drug dealer/addict loser who's been to jail and **** lol. You're right about those first few months though. It sucks because i don't think i'll ever find a girl that i'm as into as her again... these women are just masters at getting dudes hooked. Whether they realize it or not. Stay strong/safe brahs. North Carolinaaaaaa!

one girl would constantly try to get me to buy her stuff. One of her favorite lines was "dont you want me to think of you every time i look at _______?"
Another girl told me "you know how when you first meet a person and you know from the beginning you are going to cheat on them?" Da phuq...

[snucks]

I can honestly say I'd relive my borderline experience all over again regardless of how ****ed up she was and how much pain she caused me in the end. . Even if the woman I fell for wasnt real per say, those first 1=2 months.... by far the biggest high I've ever had in my life. These women just have the ability to make you feel incredibly alive....like a drug indeed. I think the biggest tragedy of falling for a borderline is that you'll always view normal women as extremely boring

Gotta disagree here mane. While you are right in that no other type a sloot can give you quite that same high in the beginning it doesnt make me feel normal women are boring at all. My last gf didnt have BPD and i genuinely wanted to escalate things with her. In fact she was the first woman i ever trusted enough to ask to live with me. Im all about that quiet times with a person you care qbout and connect with. That hih you get from a girl with BPD isn't real and im not falling for it again.

[Latslikewings]

One thing brahs ITT need to realize is that there is a reason we fell for chicks with BPD. It wasn't pure chance, and they didn't just prey upon us or anything. We each have reasons that we were receptive to their advances and were so taken by them, and it would do all of us a lot of good to explore that a little more and try and get to the bottom of it. Candyman99, I hear you about other chicks seeming boring... But I think given time and exposure to enough other girls you will find another that peaks your interest without the crazy. This coming from a brah who has only ever dated crazy (1 relationship with my diagnosed ex).

I have gone back and forth with the question of "If you could go back and have never met her, would you?". I have some regrets about how I spent that year in college, and of course regrets concerning how long I walked through hell on account of this chick, but I also learned sooooo many lessons and have learned to recognize so many red flags that I am now much more prepared to find a successful relationship than I otherwise ever would have been.

Life is what you make it brahs. You can take a backseat or jump up front and choose how your experiences are going to mold you.

[DoubleBastat]

One thing brahs ITT need to realize is that there is a reason we fell for chicks with BPD. It wasn't pure chance, and they didn't just prey upon us or anything. We each have reasons that we were receptive to their advances and were so taken by them, and it would do all of us a lot of good to explore that a little more and try and get to the bottom of it. Candyman99, I hear you about other chicks seeming boring... But I think given time and exposure to enough other girls you will find another that peaks your interest without the crazy. This coming from a brah who has only ever dated crazy (1 relationship with my diagnosed ex).

I have gone back and forth with the question of "If you could go back and have never met her, would you?". I have some regrets about how I spent that year in college, and of course regrets concerning how long I walked through hell on account of this chick, but I also learned sooooo many lessons and have learned to recognize so many red flags that I am now much more prepared to find a successful relationship than I otherwise ever would have been.

Life is what you make it brahs. You can take a backseat or jump up front and choose how your experiences are going to mold you.

Truth and reason.

[SwaggerMcdaniel]

is the eating disorder a thing w them too?

when i met my ex she was skinny as hell. she would only get her period once a year if that. I think she lost it because she was so obsessed w losing weight.

[deadliftbrah19]

One thing brahs ITT need to realize is that there is a reason we fell for chicks with BPD. It wasn't pure chance, and they didn't just prey upon us or anything. We each have reasons that we were receptive to their advances and were so taken by them, and it would do all of us a lot of good to explore that a little more and try and get to the bottom of it. Candyman99, I hear you about other chicks seeming boring... But I think given time and exposure to enough other girls you will find another that peaks your interest without the crazy. This coming from a brah who has only ever dated crazy (1 relationship with my diagnosed ex).

I have gone back and forth with the question of "If you could go back and have never met her, would you?". I have some regrets about how I spent that year in college, and of course regrets concerning how long I walked through hell on account of this chick, but I also learned sooooo many lessons and have learned to recognize so many red flags that I am now much more prepared to find a successful relationship than I otherwise ever would have been.

Life is what you make it brahs. You can take a backseat or jump up front and choose how your experiences are going to mold you.

Quality post. Yes many brahs have their own unresolved issues and thus are subconsciously attracted to these type of women.

A person with this disorder will also often exhibit impulsive behaviors and have a majority of the following symptoms:

- Frantic efforts to avoid real or imagined abandonment
- A pattern of unstable and intense interpersonal relationships characterized by alternating between extremes of idealization and devaluation
- Identity disturbance, such as a significant and persistent unstable self-image or sense of self
- Impulsivity in at least two areas that are potentially self-damaging (e.g., spending, sex, substance abuse, reckless driving, binge eating)
- Recurrent suicidal behavior, gestures, or threats, or self-mutilating behavior
- Emotional instability due to significant reactivity of mood (e.g., intense episodic dysphoria, irritability, or anxiety usually lasting a few hours and only rarely more than a few days)
- Chronic feelings of emptiness
- Inappropriate, intense anger or difficulty controlling anger (e.g., frequent displays of temper, constant anger, recurrent physical fights)
- Transient, stress-related paranoid thoughts or severe dissociative symptoms
(from http://psychcentral.com/disorders/bo...rder-symptoms/)

is the eating disorder a thing w them too?

when i met my ex she was skinny as hell. she would only get her period once a year if that. I think she lost it because she was so obsessed w losing weight.

I've been in eating disorder support groups for years. A few have Borderline and an ED, some have an ED without Borderline. Many have a few Borderline personality traits but aren't clinically diagnosed as having Borderline PD (like fear of abandonment, making irrational decisions to get an additive high (impulsivity), etc.)

If your ex was that skinny and missing her period, then she probably was not eating enough food and malnourished. That can cause any person to become mentally unstable and clinically depressed due to being malnourished.

If your ex went into treatment and gained weight (and when I went into treatment I gained 50 lbs in 3 months on the meal plan! yet I was underweight and malnourished), then for many, the psychological problems disappear with proper nutrition. For some, the psychological problems are still there and then need to be treated.

[SwaggerMcdaniel]

im beginning to think mayb my ex didnt have bpd and was just a stone cold b.. who knows

i have dated many normal womn though n this wasnt that.. thats for sure

[deadliftbrah19]

im beginning to think mayb my ex didnt have bpd and was just a stone cold b.. who knows

i have dated many normal womn though n this wasnt that.. thats for sure

If your ex was skinny and didn't get her period for a year, then that is beyond a "stone cold bitch"

She was malnourished brah and needed to eat more food. The ED takes over her brain and thus you are insignificant to her quest to be skinny.

It's next to impossible to have a relationship with a girl with an ED. The ED takes precedence over you.

Don't get into relationships with these girls unless they are at least 1 year into recovery. Because if your ex went into treatment and ate all of the food on her tray (yes they force you to eat it or you can't be released from the hospital), then the weight gain would freak her out and you'd have to support her through that nightmare.

Like I said, wait to get in a relationship with her, until she's past the worst of it.

And she was probably attracted to you because you're into lifting and your body just as she's obsessed with being skinny, like attracts like.

Imagine if you gained 50 lbs of mostly fat in 3 months eating grove hospital food. It wouldn't be easy to handle.

[SwaggerMcdaniel]

If your ex was skinny and didn't get her period for a year, then that is beyond a "stone cold bitch"

She was malnourished brah and needed to eat more food. The ED takes over her brain and thus you are insignificant to her quest to be skinny.

It's next to impossible to have a relationship with a girl with an ED. The ED takes precedence over you.

Don't get into relationships with these girls unless they are at least 1 year into recovery. Because if your ex went into treatment and ate all of the food on her tray (yes they force you to eat it or you can't be released from the hospital), then the weight gain would freak her out and you'd have to support her through that nightmare.

Like I said, wait to get in a relationship with her, until she's past the worst of it.

And she was probably attracted to you because you're into lifting and your body just as she's obsessed with being skinny, like attracts like.

ah well too late now she left for someone else tho so i guess not my problem ne more