Blackmailed my mother into not paying her anything so we can keep the 10% of the house he never even paid for lolOriginally Posted by 13bgt35r
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08-26-2013, 08:51 PM #91Registered User
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08-26-2013, 08:56 PM #92Registered User
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bump
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08-26-2013, 08:57 PM #93Registered User
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If all the children are over 18 (ie "Adults") then none is to be paid.Originally Posted by 13bgt35r
If you really want some sort of closure, then talk to him about it. Tell him that from your point of view, he abandoned your mum as well as you and your sister. Based on his response you can say GTFO of our lives or you can find out more about what happened. You;d be surprised at how much is kept from children...not saying that your mum has, but it might not be as you think it is. Good luck though, I hope either way you can have some peace in your own mind.
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08-26-2013, 08:59 PM #94Registered User
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Even reading that chit pisses me off. Screw all these peope saying your dad is still your dad, the fact that he did all that to you and your mother means that he never gave a damn about you. No reason to keep him in your life.
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08-26-2013, 09:00 PM #95Registered User
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Nothing was ever hidden, I'm 21 now and know the full story there's NOTHING he could say that would justify all the **** he put us through and still isOriginally Posted by MrBungle11
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08-26-2013, 09:03 PM #96Registered User
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I agree. I will try tell him to **** off in the coming weeks srsOriginally Posted by Azn00Superman
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08-26-2013, 09:03 PM #97Registered User
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Then he's made his choice and now its time for you to make yours and move on with your life without him.Originally Posted by ActuallyLifts
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08-26-2013, 09:04 PM #98
There are always two sides to the story... In some cases when these issues happen the marriage broke down years before... one big reason why people stray sometimes is due to sex... if they other partner never gave it up or whitholds etc that could be a contributing factor. Maybe there were reasons why he didn't want to be with your mom anymore; maybe he didn't want to take of her anymore cause she was sick or perhaps he lost physical attraction to her. There are cases when married people don't have sex for years and one partner can't take it anymore so they stray. If you talked to him maybe you could find out...
My dad never paid child support either and my parents divorced when i was like 7 or 8 and then i moved to a different country. Neither of my parents paid for college etc. Once I was 18 I was on my own completely.
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08-26-2013, 09:04 PM #99I gives it straight
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Obviously he didnt wnt to be a part of your life so he bailed. So why bother with him. Just delete him from your life and move on. Challenge yourself to be better and live without him.
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08-26-2013, 09:06 PM #100Registered User
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I'm sorry to hear about your situation OP, it's rough for a guy your age to have to pay to support your mom. he should have considered that before he left. you should mention it in passing if you see him.
But now i have to play the devil's advocate.
Both you and your siblings are 18+? if he was gonna leave, for whatever reason, this would have been the time to do it. you've heard of families staying together 'for the kids' ? that sounds like your situation. now that you're young adults it's time to fend for yourselves and unfortunately the same goes for your mother, her illness was likely unfortunate timing and was not a deciding factor. He was probably unhappy for a while and felt it was his duty to care for you until you were old enough (hence the planning). would you expect him to continue living an unhappy life until he died? he's probably 45-50? he's got another 20 years of good life if he's in good health, is he not entitled to a happy life? and just because he doesn't support you doesn't mean he doesn't care, the fact of the matter is that you're 21 and in some people's eyes you should be self sufficient by 18, a lot of guys on this forum were working full time at 16 or younger. I know this hurts you personally but life is too long to live in misery and most guys would have cut and run a lot sooner.
Again, OP, it's an unfortunate situation for everyone involved but it might be worth considering hearing his side of the story.
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08-26-2013, 09:08 PM #101Registered User
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Lol I'm sorry but just because it was the right time to move out because I was over 18 doesn't make cheating and lying behind your families back correct. Nor does it justify blowing all your money on your 'new' family and forgetting about your own kids. Sorry don't really agree with youOriginally Posted by lebowski951
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08-26-2013, 09:09 PM #102Registered User
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In my opinion with a situation like that I disagree with other miscers. There will never be a "need" to forgive him. Blood doesn't mean chit if they don't act like blood. You will not miss out on anything when he dies because he didn't give a chit. He created you, if he severed the father-son link it isn't your duty to try and fix that if he won't try. Maybe I'm cold, maybe I don't care but I wouldn't waste my time if I were you. You have every right to feel that way. Use it as motivation to be successful. You're gonna make it brah. We all are.
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08-26-2013, 09:11 PM #103I wanna get big brah
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Totally understandable.
Hope things work out well for you and your family. Sorry bout your prick dad**death metal crew**
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08-26-2013, 09:12 PM #104Registered User
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Yeah I totally agree with you. I don't believe theres a need to forgive him for what he did, don't know why some people are suggesting itOriginally Posted by SoulTea
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08-26-2013, 09:14 PM #105Registered User
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and you don't have to. it's just an opinion that hadn't been stated.Originally Posted by ActuallyLifts
some questions, if you don't mind
1) has he tried to contact you or your siblings?
2)has he expressed an interest in your education?
there are a few more touchy ones I'd like to ask if you're game
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08-26-2013, 09:14 PM #106How do you know your mom didn't know about the cheating? Most wives know; especially if it was going on for 5 years. I am sure she knew but either turned a blind eye to it or accepted it but didn't want you to know of it cause you were young. Most wives know when their husband is cheating if it goes on for that long. She was probably just protecting you...Originally Posted by ActuallyLifts
They didn't let YOU know about it cause you were a kid/teen and their personal life isn't your business.
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08-26-2013, 09:14 PM #107Registered User
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Dont need to hate brah. You know He is a piece of **** and he can't change that. I had a similar situation so I know dem feels, though i was a lot younger and didn't understand at the time. Ignored us for years and he recently has been trying to contact me. LOL'd and ignored him brah I don't need him, and you don't need that scumbag either. As many other brahs have pointed out don't waste your time on hating him just forget he exists and become a better man!
We all gunna make it brah!
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08-26-2013, 09:15 PM #108Out For Justice
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Repped op for handling business and taking care of sick mother.
Did not read other responses, but I would physically assault my dad if he ever did that sht and if he had the nerve to ever show his face around me. Srs. There are perfectly acceptable ways to get out of a marriage you aren't happy with, and he chose this route? Kick his ass op.
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08-26-2013, 09:16 PM #109Registered User
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I can't think of an actual good argument for it other than "he's your dad" which doesn't hold up well to me if he stopped acting like one. But hey brah, be strong don't let it paint a negative mindset for you. Be posi always brah, even in the hardest of situations.Originally Posted by ActuallyLifts
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08-26-2013, 09:17 PM #110
My theory is that he probably got tired of having a sick wife, maybe tired of taking care of her if he did... It can be a buzzkill to romance (not saying that's right). Just saying most men probably don't want to deal with that longtime. Plus it probably means less or no sex. Most men will bail if there's no or little or even unsatisfactory sex.
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08-26-2013, 09:18 PM #111Registered User
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Well I woulda beat the **** out of him. Too late now. Sorry brah. I'd cut all ties honestly. You shouldn't expect
Money from anyone and you don't deserve money(not you personally) don't expect anything from your parents. You have a lot to take are of. Busy your ass, take care of your mom and forget your father.
I'm not saying forgive him, but let it go,
Let him go, and erase him from your life for now. I would not initiate contact or anything. If you never speak to him then oh well.....why would you want to keep seeking a relationship with someone who doesn't want one with you?
You'll make it brah
Edit:
Do this OP and you'll turn into a great man. Then maybe one day you can come face to face with your father and thank him. When he says for what ....say...... Because your the reason I'm the man I am today. If it wasn't for you I wouldn't be half the man I am....you know why? You learn best not from good but from the bad. I learned what not be like.....and now I know I will raise a good family. And now.....your not even half the man I've become.
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08-26-2013, 09:21 PM #112Registered User
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its not his fault your mom is sick. is he bound to her even tho he doesnt love her just because she's sick?
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08-26-2013, 09:22 PM #113Registered User
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what fukin peice of sht. You're gonna make it brah, forget about him.
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08-26-2013, 09:24 PM #114Registered User
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So that justifies being a piece of ****? I wouldn't care if he divorced my mum and moved on with life. Setting yourself up and cheating then moving out, trying to take a house you never paid for? You're an idiot tempted to negOriginally Posted by mrsnruB1111
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08-26-2013, 09:29 PM #115Registered User
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Your dad sounds ****ing awesome.
Hear me out...
Had he got divorced 10 years ago, your mom would get alimony/child support all that bull****. Every miscer would be like thats bull**** your dad is getting the shaft.
Now with careful planning your pops did everything he could to make his situation awesome. Upgrade on wife, upgrade on kids.
Heres why its an upgrade on kids. You are mad at him for not spending his money that he earned on you. Its his, not yours, because your his son you are not entitled to anything. Get over yourself.
Explain to him you need some help and if he says no then put on your big boy panties and man the **** up.*Always pick 6 crew*
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08-26-2013, 09:29 PM #116Registered User
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Why are you paying to hold onto a house that your Mother/Grandmother has 100% equity in?
I assume when you say your mum is sick, she suffers from a mental illness (as she has been sick for past 5-6 years at least), thus, as you are Australian she should be claiming from Centrelink under a disability pension.
Blood means nothing, relatives can damage you a lot more than any stranger can.
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08-26-2013, 09:30 PM #117How do you know your mom wasn't aware of him being with another woman? You don't know their relationship. Some women may be so submissive that they turn a blind eye and "Accept" it... especially if she couldn't give him sex due to being sick. I can guarantee that your mom knew he was with another woman and didn't say anything to keep the peace in the house for the kids (you). Women can sense this woman if it goes on for 5 years. Trust me. The only person who this is news to is you.Originally Posted by ActuallyLifts
Also, the 5 years was probably waiting until you were 18 to leave.
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08-26-2013, 09:33 PM #118
Would find out where he lives and beat the chit out of him, srs.
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08-26-2013, 09:36 PM #119Xav777
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lmao.. that sucks dude.. do not know what to say broOriginally Posted by ActuallyLifts
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08-26-2013, 09:37 PM #120******
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Fukking Canada strikes again....your dad seems like a piece of poop
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