3 year lifting: bulk, fail, cut. Long post, cliffs & pics

[DocHoss]

Cliffs:
Started working out 3 years ago.
Slow bulk: tracked macros, lifted hard, gained 21 lbs in 18 months - mostly fat.
Slow cut, losing 30 lbs in 9 months, lot of it muscle.
Advice?

(pics at end)


On May 2, 2011, I did my first workout. For the past three years I have thrown myself into bodybuilding heart and soul. I found that I liked lifting. No, I love lifting! After spending my entire life denying that I even wanted a better body, I was determined - obsessed, perhaps - to get big, to look like someone who lifts. I pushed my self in the gym and in the kitchen, through blood, sweat, and tears, not to mention that gagging feeling as I forced down another forkfull of food.

I failed.

After a few months in the gym, I realized I was losing too much weight and ramped up my eating. Over the next 18 months I managed to put on 22 lbs, going from 159 lbs. in Nov. 2011 to 181 lbs in April 2013. I lifted hard, calculated and tracked my macros and calories, weighed my portions and logged my food, ate "clean" and healthily, etc. I'm not one of those that say I have a "good" diet. I think I had an excellent diet. Maybe even too "clean" - sometimes it was hard to meet my fat targets.

I had times when I was optimistic that I finally would turn the tide - such as when I began squatting and deadlifting (all those guys who said how their legs blew up after a few months of squatting) and when I began tracking my macros (induced_drag's chart was very inspiring).

But nothing made any noticeable difference.

Despite the glacially slow bulk, I realized that the vast majority of my gains were fat. WTF?! How much better could I eat? How much harder could I push myself in the gym?

So I began a slow cut. I kept my protein high and fat moderately high, and slowly decresed my carbs. I steadily lost a pound a week - the only plateaus being when my mother-in-law died and we had two trips to Germany in two weeks. At first I thought I'd go down to 175 or 170 at most, but my friend Docmansound told me I needed to go to 160 to make it worthwhile. He was right. And I kept going, enjoying the newfound defintion and the ease of cutting (my apologies to those who have a hard time cutting, but I find losing weight to be mind-numbingly simple). I finally hit 150 in January and began my new slow bulk.

I lost a lot of fat, but a lot of muscle too. And strength. Either that, or I never made much muscle to begin with. If the body fat assessments are to be believed, I went from 163 at 19% (132 lbs LBM) in June 2011 to 150 @ 13% (131 lbs LBM) in February 2014 - in other words, my LBM is less than when I began!! I don't really think that's the case - I think I have more muscle than when I started. Just not a lot more. It's been very humbling. In the end, after three years of busting my ass to get big and strong, I look - at best - toned. I have a reasonably decent beach body, but I sure don't look like I lift. Other people here have gone on to compete in half the time it's taken me to get a beach body.

I shouldn't be all negative. At the age of 50, I look better than I ever have in my life. You can view that in two ways.
1: Good job hitting your peak at 50.
or
2: That's the best you've ever been? Sad.

On the other hand, for an unathletic, 50 year old academic Ph.Geek, who never played any sports, who was the chubby kid who was always chosen last for any team in PE, who was the skinny teen who was always chosen last for any team in PE, who never even set foot in a gym until age 47 1/2, I might even dare say I look good. But that may just be me having delusions of adequacy again (obviously, I've never been very Alpha). A year and a half ago when I posted progress pictures, Bodyhard hit it on the nail when when he said I looked better than most 49 year olds, but had pathetic progress for a year of lifting.

I was going to say that in three years of effort, no one has ever noticed that I lift (though I have had people ask if I've lost weight), but a week ago a woman checking me out (I mean taking my money) at a plant sale said, "He can have a cookie, he looks like he works out. He's got muskulls"!" Needless to say I was walking on imported air after that! Then a woman at Home Depot's appliance dept. said I looked very "Fabio-ish." OK, time for a hair cut!!

So, does any one have any advice? Did I cut too slowly? Would I have done better with a faster cut? Or am I just expecting too much? Am I just genetically doomed to be caught between hard gainer and non responder?

Maybe I just don't have what it takes to get big. I don't think eating more will help - I just add fat. Just as no matter how much I practice, I could never be a concert pianist or opera singer. A trainer at my gym this past weekend said that most women would think I have the perfect physique. Flattering to be sure, but I want to be big. Big enough that muscle shows when I have my shirt on. Big enough that at least other lifters can tell that I lift! I'll clearly never be a bodybuilder. But I'll never stop trying. I enjoy lifting. It makes me feel good and makes me feel better about myself, even if I never get big.

Don't get me wrong - I'm not entirely unhappy with how I look, but it's not what I want and not what I set out to achieve after years of toil. But given a choice between skinny fat and skinny toned, I'll choose the latter.

Thanks for listening to my rant!

pics below

[DocHoss]

Before. Feb. 2011: skinny fat with chubby chipmunk cheeks


Feb. 2012: 165 lbs, able to take off my shirt without embarrassment



April 2012: 168 lbs, Getting chubbier on the Puerto Rican lunches. . .


but it covers up well - first picture that shows any hint of pecs under my shirt


I like this one


Dec. 2012: 175 lbs, looking a bit, um, chunky.

[DocHoss]

April 2013: End of bulk, 181 lbs. No doubt about it: fat, fat, fat!



I did manage to finally hit 15" on my arms, but no defintion at all!



May 2013: 176 lbs, 1 month into cut - beads can't hide the fat!



July 2013: 168 lbs, if I flex hard enough, I can see abs.

[DocHoss]

Oct. 2013: 159 lbs, just turned 50, back in Germnay to deal with my MIL's passing.



Jan 27, 2014: 150 lbs, end of cut.


May 2014, yesterday, shameless selfies on the tortoise cam: 153-154 lbs, more fat around the middle, but I think my pecs are a bit fuller.



Four days ago: seeing some veins in my abs if I flex just right

[MrNismo]

When you find the answer please let me know I do not track calories anymore but I can lose or gain weight at a consistent pace without issue. Right now I'm on a .5-1lb a week gain and have been for about 4 months. I needed to focus on fixing some hip and shoulder pain so figured it was a good time to bump up the reps and go for some hypertrophy instead of looking for strength gain for awhile.

Well, I swear all I've put on the last 4 months is fat and that's been my experience since day 1 too many years ago now. Not complaining -- I love to lift so that keeps me going but I'll be damned if it isn't frustrating to either look like a skeleton in order to show some abs or to just look skinny fat when I try to gain some size.

FWIW, I think you look pretty awesome in your recent pics. You should combine the beads with your latest look you'd be much scarier looking than the blonde wavy hair and maybe no one would dare ask DYEL

[Sader762]

I see a huge difference!

You may not be 180 @ 10% - but that may not be possible, r more likely it just may take years to slowly put on muscle. I wouldn't worry about cutting and bulking, just lift and eat well, maybe at a slight surplus and enjoy lifting.

[virtualbrian]

Nice work! Looking strong!!! Keep it up.

[TubbyDad]

You weighed the same amount in April 2012 and July 2013, and in the latter pic you are very noticeably more muscular. You are putting on muscle for sure. You look to be putting on quite a bit of fat on your bulks, so I would simply slow down when bulking, don't go as high on calories as you have in the past. I definitely see a difference though. Great job!

[Plateauplower]

Another thing to consider is how you are training. Have you tried a variety of training styles i.e. Heavy weight lower reps, moderate weight and higher reps etc. have you run some of the established programs and focused on compound free weight bread and butter excercises? You have made progress, it it sounds like you are a hard gainer, I would try a slower bulk and just watch the mirror instead of the scale. Eat in a surplus and just slow it down when you start to lose too much definition. You have put on lean mass, it might just not come as easily for you as it does for others, I can build muscle I feel pretty easily but I also get fat pretty quickly when not lifting. So where some may have to work harder to stay lean others have to work harder to build lean mass. Either way you have made progress, and that's a good thing. I agree it's time for a haircut

[steffo99]

Wish I had more experience and knowledge to help, but hopefully the old-timers can give some useful advice.
I can understand it must be a bit frustrating. Most of us could only dream of a Fabio compliment though.
Best of luck going forward.

[drudixon]

All I can say is it's a slow, slow pursuit. I see a big difference, so you are making progress. This year, I've just been barely above maintenance and making decent gains. I'm more concerned about my shoulder health at the moment, so frankly focusing on rotator strength, upper back strength, and rear delts. I'm having some luck benching pain free, so I like that. I plan to do a more aggressive bulk late fall, so we'll see where I get with that. Just keep plugging away. Monitor results, change when needed, etc.

[BB12s]

You can see progress and it clearly shows you're heading in the right direction. Do you think this is something you'll stick with now?

[SteveWright1]

Not sure I can see the "Failed" aspect you mention DocHoss

physique has improved a great deal over the course of the attached images and for that you should have a sense of pride at a job well done

it is also a credit to you that you would like to do even better and as such

what is your current training programme/ routine?
as you do seem to have diet, macro nutrient control etc ,worked out already, so maybe the manner in which you train, may hold the answer to increasing muscle mass for future bulk attempts

I had a quick search through your post history and did not find a workout journal? maybe I missed it, if so, sorry

but I think an insight into your training, may well help the experts ( of which I am not) advise you on how you could increase your gains and thus increase your sense of achievement from the training you are doing

[acrawlingchaos]

You have made excellent and consistent progress over the last several years.... but I understand. I am in the same exact situation. While I am happy with what progress I have made, it isn't nearly what I expected. Here is what I have learned about myself.

I diet too often.
I diet too long.
I diet too steep.
I add mass too seldom.
I add mass too quickly.
I worry too much about the scale.

My advice to you, is the same advice I am taking. Get off the roller coaster, stop counting, and start trying to eat a little more naturally and consistently. I am learning to trust myself, and eat according to appetite. I eat when I am hungry, and I don't when I am not. I found that the more I work, the hungrier I am, and my appetite adjusts accordingly. I monitor weight over the course of weeks instead of days and make simple (minor) dietary adjustments much less frequently.

Look to gain 8-12 pounds over the next year, not 25. This means less time dieting, and less time recovering from your diet, limit diets to no longer than 4 weeks.

[EjnarKolinkar]

I think the hardest part is to really look back on how little LBM some of us started out with.

I should speak just for myself but I think it is a common problem. We are always comparing to a much fattier version of ourselves, at some level, in our minds. After years of building up we get to a point where we can cut down to usually a much smaller version of ourselves than we started out as, even if we were on the "skinny-fat" side we are left with a dafuq.

I think you have made way more progress than your mind is letting you see Doc. I mean take your first pic, cut it down to your current body fat and it would not look anything like your current pic. Currently you look quite muscled IMO. I think much of it is getting past the illusion that we are bigger with the "fat suit" on. Even when that "fat suit" is height and weight proportionate in the non lifting world.

I don't have advice other than to follow the activities of people trying to do what you want to do in journals. See what is common about their programs and how you can adapt that to your own. I have not figured it out for myself yet, so no advice can really be given.

But props can for good work.

[doughnutgut]

I diet too often.
I diet too long.
I diet too steep.
I add mass too seldom.
I add mass too quickly.
I worry too much about the scale.

Many a lifters nightmare quoted right there. I fall into this trap ever so quickly.

I think you have made way more progress than your mind is letting you see Doc.

The nail on the head. We our our own worst critiques Doc.

Nothing short of hard work is showing from the progress you have posted. Understandable that you can quote some pics with the chubby phrase. But if someone told you that you could look like you do with the braids when you first started. I know full well you would of given a finger and a few toes to have that physique.

You are on the road and you understand that it is a small diesel engined car taking you to your destination right now. SLlowly but surely chugging away and eating up the road on the way to further progression the longer you chalk that wall.

So far you have done nothing short of great work. If I can make that kind of progress in that kind of time I will let you have all my fingers. Along with a couple of my toes as well.

Great stuff.

[mcbourque]

FWIW you do have a physique you can be very proud of. Especially if you've only been lifting for 3 years.
Definitely not a failure

[OzChops]

The two pics from the same weight 15 months apart.

I fail to see the fail.

Sure progress may not be as great as you'd like it to be in your mind, but it's clearly there.

[SuperZar]

I agree with many others. You've made great progress. That 2nd last picture really shows great pec development for instance. Not progressing as fast as you'd like? Well, by your own admission, you've made mistakes on the way, and learned a lot. As expected, this has slowed you down and is completely normal for someone starting out.... and that's the other thing. You started 3 years ago at 47 for the very first time. I've noticed many in the O35 are making comebacks later on in life. They're benefitting from previous experience (much shorter learning curve) .... and muscle memory showing itself after years, even decades later. Remember this. You're doing it after all for your health, you look great and will only get better.

[mirroroferised]

The two pics from the same weight 15 months apart.

I fail to see the fail.

Sure progress may not be as great as you'd like it to be in your mind, but it's clearly there.

This.


You've done great so far doc but as always we are our own worst enemies. I'm learning pretty quickly that this game is a complete mind bleep. IMO take the great advice you've gotten in your thread and slowly keep adding.

But most of all, great work and dedication for sticking with it for 3 years. The progress is most definitely there.

[jobronze]

Thought I was reading my lifting life story OP. I hear ya bro, I hear ya.

I did spend my 20s in the gym, but the training was performance based for martial arts. My wife and others swear that I had more muscle back then vs now a wanna be serious lifter. And when I look at the pics I feel like they are right, I'm just leaner now with more lats..*shrug*

After I cut down and basically start over, the next approach I will take is shorter bulk/cut cycles. I'm not some skinny 18y/o. No way am I going to put on 20lbs in a year to gain if I was lucky 5lbs of LBM.

There are some articles by Christian Thibs on tnation( just ignore the sup ads) that may suggest you may benefit more from lifting for performance ( explosiveness) and erring on the side of more recovery. Could be worth checking out some out of the box ideas.

[dazlittle]

This says it all, fantastic progress.

The two pics from the same weight 15 months apart.

I fail to see the fail.

Sure progress may not be as great as you'd like it to be in your mind, but it's clearly there.

[kittyboy]

You're doing great, Doc. Current pics are muscular and amazingly lean.

[MecGen]

As for someone (me) that has very little ........hair.....I am jello

IMHO, you look better with more mass like the pic above. Getting down to the 150 is lean and cost you size.
I agree and fail to see fail.

Regards

[FltDoc06]

I think you look great in your recent photos. Clearly more mass there than you have appreciated, and the definition is enviable. At our point in life (ie., AGE), we put on muscle much more slowly than the 20-somethings, so bodybuilding is a "slow and steady wins the race" proposition, even more so for us.

Reviewing your workout logs, I might suggest considering going heavier with fewer reps and fewer sets for the next couple of months and see if that makes any more of an impact for you. Perhaps consider reverse pyramid; I've been doing that since February, and the change has jolted my sluggish muscles. After a warmup, I max out the first set, then back off 10% and add a rep or two, then back off 5-10% more and add another rep or two, and then move on to the next lift. I'd build each workout around 1-2 main compound lifts specific to that day's muscle group(s) (e.g., squat, bench press, military press, deadlift, weighted chin/pull up) and keep constant from week to week, and then add in a few extra muscle group-specific isolation/accessory lifts each workout which you can vary every couple of weeks to keep mixing it up just a bit.

[highiso]

As I've told you before, your progress is fantastic! You have managed to build AND you have gotten leaner than the large majority of regulars here. Nothing but props for you buddy!

[DocHoss]

Thank you all for plowing through my post and for your supportive and insightful comments!

I hope I don't come across as a whiner (whinger for youse folks up North & in the Motherland). Three years ago I did not imagine I would look like I do now. While I don't have a big lifter physique, it's still way better than anything I've had in my entire life. I like how I look; I just assumed that three years of busting ass would make me bigger.

When you find the answer please let me know. I do not track calories anymore but I can lose or gain weight at a consistent pace without issue. Right now I'm on a .5-1lb a week gain and have been for about 4 months. I needed to focus on fixing some hip and shoulder pain so figured it was a good time to bump up the reps and go for some hypertrophy instead of looking for strength gain for awhile.

Well, I swear all I've put on the last 4 months is fat and that's been my experience since day 1 too many years ago now. Not complaining -- I love to lift so that keeps me going but I'll be damned if it isn't frustrating to either look like a skeleton in order to show some abs or to just look skinny fat when I try to gain some size.

FWIW, I think you look pretty awesome in your recent pics. You should combine the beads with your latest look you'd be much scarier looking than the blonde wavy hair and maybe no one would dare ask DYEL

Thanks! Maybe I should do the braids again. I find it easy to lose weight, but hard to gain. You're doing 2-4 lbs a month. My 1.1 lb a month was still mostly fat. 2-4 lbs would just give me more fat, I think.

I see a huge difference!

You may not be 180 @ 10% - but that may not be possible, r more likely it just may take years to slowly put on muscle. I wouldn't worry about cutting and bulking, just lift and eat well, maybe at a slight surplus and enjoy lifting.

I'd rather have slow, steady gains than bulk and cut. Though cutting was fun because it was so easy and the results were a lot more dramatic.

You weighed the same amount in April 2012 and July 2013, and in the latter pic you are very noticeably more muscular. You are putting on muscle for sure. You look to be putting on quite a bit of fat on your bulks, so I would simply slow down when bulking, don't go as high on calories as you have in the past. I definitely see a difference though. Great job!

All that fat was from bulking 1.1 lbs a month, which I guess is too much for me. This time I'm going more slowly (though that may be because my stomach can't handle all that food).

Another thing to consider is how you are training. Have you tried a variety of training styles i.e. Heavy weight lower reps, moderate weight and higher reps etc. have you run some of the established programs and focused on compound free weight bread and butter excercises? You have made progress, it it sounds like you are a hard gainer, I would try a slower bulk and just watch the mirror instead of the scale. Eat in a surplus and just slow it down when you start to lose too much definition. You have put on lean mass, it might just not come as easily for you as it does for others, I can build muscle I feel pretty easily but I also get fat pretty quickly when not lifting. So where some may have to work harder to stay lean others have to work harder to build lean mass. Either way you have made progress, and that's a good thing. I agree it's time for a haircut

I probably don't mix it up enough. I used to alternate between lighter and heavier squat days, but now I push myself as far as I can before the hip pain sets in. I haven't done the set programs, but my workouts have been all based on the barbell compounds since Jan. 2012 when I learned the squat, DL, and row.

I agree, some folks put on muscle more easily and others lean up more easily. We just have to do the best we can with the cards we're dealt.

And I'm getting the hair cut tomorrow

All I can say is it's a slow, slow pursuit. I see a big difference, so you are making progress. This year, I've just been barely above maintenance and making decent gains. I'm more concerned about my shoulder health at the moment, so frankly focusing on rotator strength, upper back strength, and rear delts. I'm having some luck benching pain free, so I like that. I plan to do a more aggressive bulk late fall, so we'll see where I get with that. Just keep plugging away. Monitor results, change when needed, etc.

Thanks dru! I should be happy I am mostly pain-free!

You can see progress and it clearly shows you're heading in the right direction. Do you think this is something you'll stick with now?

Hell yes. I will stop when they pry the barbell out of my cold, dead hands.

Not sure I can see the "Failed" aspect you mention DocHoss

physique has improved a great deal over the course of the attached images and for that you should have a sense of pride at a job well done

it is also a credit to you that you would like to do even better and as such

what is your current training programme/ routine?
as you do seem to have diet, macro nutrient control etc ,worked out already, so maybe the manner in which you train, may hold the answer to increasing muscle mass for future bulk attempts

I had a quick search through your post history and did not find a workout journal? maybe I missed it, if so, sorry

but I think an insight into your training, may well help the experts ( of which I am not) advise you on how you could increase your gains and thus increase your sense of achievement from the training you are doing

I don't have a training log online, but I have a written log of every workout (other than some on travel) since day one. I've posted a few recent workouts on my body page, though I've had a few hang up and not post.

[DocHoss]

I diet too often.
I diet too long.
I diet too steep.
I add mass too seldom.
I add mass too quickly.
I worry too much about the scale.

My advice to you, is the same advice I am taking. Get off the roller coaster, stop counting, and start trying to eat a little more naturally and consistently. I am learning to trust myself, and eat according to appetite. I eat when I am hungry, and I don't when I am not. I found that the more I work, the hungrier I am, and my appetite adjusts accordingly. I monitor weight over the course of weeks instead of days and make simple (minor) dietary adjustments much less frequently.

I don't think I've been on a roller coaster per se. I've only dieted once and was careful not to go too fast. My initial weight loss came from exercising, but not changing my diet. Then it was one long, slow bulk and one long, slow cut. I was disappointed at how much of that bulk was fat despite being so slow (and supposedly "clean").

I can't eat just according to appetite. I eat because I need to; otherwise I'll lose too much weight and muscle. Even when I was at my lowest point in my cut, I had to make myself eat. It's just too easy for me to not eat. Exercise is an appetite suppressant for me.

Look to gain 8-12 pounds over the next year, not 25. This means less time dieting, and less time recovering from your diet, limit diets to no longer than 4 weeks.

I don't plan to go up 20 lbs again before any cut. I'm thinking more on the lines of mini-bulk and mini-cut (no more than 4-5 lbs) - gain until I think I'm getting too chubby. It seems clear that my body won't put on more than 1-2 lbs of actual muscle per year.

I think the hardest part is to really look back on how little LBM some of us started out with.

I should speak just for myself but I think it is a common problem. We are always comparing to a much fattier version of ourselves, at some level, in our minds. After years of building up we get to a point where we can cut down to usually a much smaller version of ourselves than we started out as, even if we were on the "skinny-fat" side we are left with a dafuq.

I think that is true - very insightful. Both how little muscle we had and how much fat. When I was bulking I didn't think I looked that fat. But when I look back, man the harpoons!

I think you have made way more progress than your mind is letting you see Doc. I mean take your first pic, cut it down to your current body fat and it would not look anything like your current pic. Currently you look quite muscled IMO. I think much of it is getting past the illusion that we are bigger with the "fat suit" on. Even when that "fat suit" is height and weight proportionate in the non lifting world.

I don't have advice other than to follow the activities of people trying to do what you want to do in journals. See what is common about their programs and how you can adapt that to your own. I have not figured it out for myself yet, so no advice can really be given.

But props can for good work.

Thank you! I will try to check out the journals and programs more.

The nail on the head. We our our own worst critiques Doc.

Nothing short of hard work is showing from the progress you have posted. Understandable that you can quote some pics with the chubby phrase. But if someone told you that you could look like you do with the braids when you first started. I know full well you would of given a finger and a few toes to have that physique.

Or as I like to say, some of my brother's organs (When I was posting these pictures, I realized that the barid shots look a lot like him. Now if I could just get him to lift . . )

You are on the road and you understand that it is a small diesel engined car taking you to your destination right now. SLlowly but surely chugging away and eating up the road on the way to further progression the longer you chalk that wall.

So far you have done nothing short of great work. If I can make that kind of progress in that kind of time I will let you have all my fingers. Along with a couple of my toes as well.

Great stuff.

Thank you!

FWIW you do have a physique you can be very proud of. Especially if you've only been lifting for 3 years.
Definitely not a failure

Merci! That means a lot to me.
It was the bulking I felt was a failure.

The two pics from the same weight 15 months apart.

I fail to see the fail.

Sure progress may not be as great as you'd like it to be in your mind, but it's clearly there.

Wow, I have to agree. I'm shocked that I didn't pick up on that when I was posting the pictures. Than you for pointing that out!

I agree with many others. You've made great progress. That 2nd last picture really shows great pec development for instance. Not progressing as fast as you'd like? Well, by your own admission, you've made mistakes on the way, and learned a lot. As expected, this has slowed you down and is completely normal for someone starting out.... and that's the other thing. You started 3 years ago at 47 for the very first time. I've noticed many in the O35 are making comebacks later on in life. They're benefitting from previous experience (much shorter learning curve) .... and muscle memory showing itself after years, even decades later. Remember this. You're doing it after all for your health, you look great and will only get better.

That's true - many of the great transformations here are those coming back to lifting. Muscle memory doesn't work when there's no muscle to remember! But there are a bunch, like ironwill who truly started late and have done amazing jobs.

You've done great so far doc but as always we are our own worst enemies. I'm learning pretty quickly that this game is a complete mind bleep. IMO take the great advice you've gotten in your thread and slowly keep adding.

But most of all, great work and dedication for sticking with it for 3 years. The progress is most definitely there.

Thanks - I am a stubborn old coot!

There are some articles by Christian Thibs on tnation( just ignore the sup ads) that may suggest you may benefit more from lifting for performance ( explosiveness) and erring on the side of more recovery. Could be worth checking out some out of the box ideas.

Thanks - will look into that.

This says it all, fantastic progress.

Thank you very much - especially coming from someone who has what I think of as very close to a perfect build! I'd sell so many of my brother's organs to look like you that there'd be nothing left of him other than a head in a jar like on Futurama

You're doing great, Doc. Current pics are muscular and amazingly lean.

Thanks! Now to add some more size

As for someone (me) that has very little ........hair.....I am jello

IMHO, you look better with more mass like the pic above. Getting down to the 150 is lean and cost you size.
I agree and fail to see fail.

Regards

Yes, I did lose muscle along with the fat, which was tough given how hard it was to gain in the first place. Cutting can be addictive - it's so easy and the resluts are so much faster and obvious. But I am loking the lean look. Now to add some mass



I didn't have a chance to add this yeasterday, but here is a graph of my weight over the past three years. Major events are indicated.

[IIISpartacusIII]

Congrats on your perseverance and transformation. Not giving up isn't just serious business, it's the only business!

[raynerd]

Doc, I get these same feelings. I am in my second cut now and really wish I had put on more size. I have cut down to the same weight as my last cut now, but I actually feel bigger than last year. My legs are a bit bigger and delts look bigger to me. I have accepted that thats enough to keep me happy. Just focusing on being leaner than last year.

You really have done some amazing work with your build, and I have told you before, you have inspired me on more than one occasion. There is no doubt in my mind that you work your tail off and are meticulous in your diet, and like so many others have said, it shows!

Keep at it, keep inspiring and being inspired. We may never be happy with how we look, but I think thats the key to this sport, continuous non-stop self improvement. It keeps the fire burning hot!