Flaky Guests, anyone ever had this problem?

[CrazyWarrior]

A while back I was throwing an engagement party for someone. I had about 8 people not show up at all. They were the ones saying, "Oh I'd love to be there" or "Do you want me to bring anything?" etc etc. And then on the day, they just didnt show up at all. I can understand one or two people but 8? It's not a big deal except for the food and cake that I ordered. We had way too much food. But myself and the couple took food home.

It's no big deal if they texted me the day before so that I know how many to expect. I'd prefer a "Oh I'd love to be there but..." or sorry can't make it or no RSVP. I've noticed this even in weddings! I've witnessed my friends try to plan weddings with flaky guests.

With one wedding, one of the guests was bad mouthing the bride for calling guests to ask if they're coming. But this b----- did not RSVP herself. I called her on that. Then she's like, "But why did she invite me? We only knew each other for a few months during the last term of college..." blah blah.... I told her, "For whatever reason she thought of you and is inviting you to her big event. It's not about you. If you don't want to, you could at least be polite enough to say no through the RSVP"

I think the bride shouldn't have to call people to ask. But many people were not responding after 2 months and she had to give the caterer a final count, as well as the place for seating, etc.

Really, how hard is it to drop off a stamped, self-addressed RSVP postcard? I always thought it was very rude to be flaky especially for "big parties" or weddings. Why is it too hard to just make up your mind and stick to it?

I wonder if it's a regional thing since I'm on the West Coast. I noticed the people who show up, RSVP and communicate well are from elsewhere. Or maybe generational thing. Is flakiness becoming more and more common? I used to have a friend who wanted to hang out and we'd decide happy hour on a day, time, place. And she'd not show up at all. She did this to others too. So I just dont hang out anymore. Or if she says, "we should hang out" I would say, "yeah, let me know once you decide where and when you want to hang out." And she never calls.

Am I missing something here? anyone else experienced this?

Now i have another event. I decided to just count the maybes as a no. And only have enough food for those who responded or potlucks. If there are unexpected guests, they get pizza or nothing since I didnt know they were coming. How's that?

[Kemo1990]

used to have friends that did **** like this...same friends that werent there when i actually needed them. flakes gonna flake just gotta plan accordingly

[UnaChispita]

Wow OP,

Were these people in their late twenties like you? Another question: were they expected to RSVP for the engagement party? That part was unclear in your post. If so, then YES that is incredibly rude if they RSVP'ed and didn't show up.

If they weren't expected to RSVP and they said they were going to show, that is still rude. They should have called at least to say they couldn't make it.

Just my 2 cents.

[texicus]

Pretty immature of them considering their age, I have very few flakers as friends and I'm 18... those who do are well-known for it in my circle of friends hah.

also

We had way too much food

You body build for fun, 3 day bulk in your future

[CrazyWarrior]

Pretty immature of them considering their age, I have very few flakers as friends and I'm 18... those who do are well-known for it in my circle of friends hah.

also


You body build for fun, 3 day bulk in your future

hahahaha, good one!

[NotBigEnough206]

And that is why I hate making parties, hate going to parties etc.

I let the wife do all that, and the wedding too. I just showed up to the wedding lol.

[latebloomingmom]

there really is no excuse for not RSVP'ing anymore. If you dont want to mail back the little card then how hard is it to send an email, a text or call on the phone?

[CrazyWarrior]

Were these people in their late twenties like you? Another question: were they expected to RSVP for the engagement party? That part was unclear in your post. If so, then YES that is incredibly rude if they RSVP'ed and didn't show up.

Yes mid 20s and 30s. Yes, I had a "please RSVP" in the invites. And I took the party advice of using the invitations to set the tone so that people get the idea that it's a planned out, semi-formal party than a "come on over and hang out" sort of thing.

[texicus]

And that is why I hate making parties, hate going to parties etc.

I let the wife do all that, and the wedding too. I just showed up to the wedding lol.

[Kemo1990]

Yes mid 20s and 30s. Yes, I had a "please RSVP" in the invites. And I took the party advice of using the invitations to set the tone so that people get the idea that it's a planned out, semi-formal party than a "come on over and hang out" sort of thing.

its ok my heavenly blessed beauty who has no face i would never abandon you

[erinlee01]

There is no common courtesy anymore. When I hand out invitations to my sons' parties, I invite the whole class (around 20 - 25 kids). I get maybe 10 RSVPs. The rest for the most part don't show. But you can't even count on that - I've had people not RSVP and then show up. I don't understand this at all. I always reply to invites my kids get, even if it is a little late.

[Neposedi]

There is no common courtesy anymore.

Agree. I work at a catering company and it's usually all good except we often have to set up extra tables in case people who didn't RSVP rock up or people who DID RSVP don't rock up (1 table=1k so they'd not want to waste it on someone who didn't show).

A Cambodian wedding had 600 guests and more than half didn't even show. Mind you, it was Christmas Eve.

[jonfizel]

its ok my heavenly blessed beauty who has no face i would never abandon you