Colleague Asked if I'm a Virgin

[Swanky]

This has me stewing and I can't get over it. I was at work the other day. It was lunch break and I was in the staff kitchen area re-heating my lunch in the microwave. A female co-worker was beside me making a coffee. I noticed from the corner of my eye that she kept looking at me and smiling enigmatically. After several seconds, she coyly says this while giving me that enigmatic smile: "Hey, Swanky, am, can I ask you a personal question?"
"Yeah, I suppose," I replied.
"Have you ever, am... slept with a girl before?"
"What?! Yeah, of course I have," I replied in an embarrassed and shocked tone.
"Sorry, I just... you don't seem like a people person and you don't really talk to anybody and you seem nervous around people, so I was just kind of curious. Sorry, I didn't mean to embarrass you. I shouldn't have asked you that," she then said apologetically.
"Okay, no worries, forget about it," I said.

I then grabbed my lunch and ate that ****ing thing in my office with the door closed. Fuk. Am I so socially inept that women think I'm a 28-year-old virgin?! It got me thinking: If she thinks I'm a virgin, then other women surely must as well. **** that. I don't really know this woman who asked me this question; we've only ever exchanged a few lines when near each other at work. She's in her mid-twenties. ****, how can I get over this and this "virgin reputation" I probably have? By the way, I am NOT a virgin.

[JesseV87]

I noticed from the corner of my eye that she kept looking at me and smiling enigmatically.

Sounds like she wants to be your first.

[iiradman]

This has me stewing and I can't get over it. I was at work the other day. It was lunch break and I was in the staff kitchen area re-heating my lunch in the microwave. A female co-worker was beside me making a coffee. I noticed from the corner of my eye that she kept looking at me and smiling enigmatically. After several seconds, she coyly says this while giving me that enigmatic smile: "Hey, Swanky, am, can I ask you a personal question?"
"Yeah, I suppose," I replied.
"Have you ever, am... slept with a girl before?"
"What?! Yeah, of course I have," I replied in an embarrassed and shocked tone.
"Sorry, I just... you don't seem like a people person and you don't really talk to anybody and you seem nervous around people, so I was just kind of curious. Sorry, I didn't mean to embarrass you. I shouldn't have asked you that," she then said apologetically.
"Okay, no worries, forget about it," I said.

I then grabbed my lunch and ate that ****ing thing in my office with the door closed. Fuk. Am I so socially inept that women think I'm a 28-year-old virgin?! It got me thinking: If she thinks I'm a virgin, then other women surely must as well. **** that. I don't really know this woman who asked me this question; we've only ever exchanged a few lines when near each other at work. She's in her mid-twenties. ****, how can I get over this and this "virgin reputation" I probably have? By the way, I am NOT a virgin.

Lol i thought u were a virgin while reading this, until the very last line..

That's pretty full on though..Unfortunately i have no advice for you and am just stating my opinion.

[Swanky]

Sounds like she wants to be your first.

She wouldn't be my first because I'm not a ****ing virgin. I've banged 6 girls to date. The look she gave me wasn't one of interest, I don't think. It was one of her pondering whether she should ask me the question or not. It was on her mind for a few seconds and she finally decided to ask me such an inappropriate question. How do I get over this? Others would most definitely think I'm a virgin, too. I don't want that rep.

[Swanky]

Lol i thought u were a virgin while reading this, until the very last line..

That's pretty full on though..Unfortunately i have no advice for you and am just stating my opinion.

This happened two days ago and it's still on my mind. How many others think I'm a virgin?! It got me thinking that I must be extremely socially inept if women think a guy in his late twenties is still a virgin. Fuk my life.

EDIT: It's my birthday so feel free to rep a guy who's in a pit of misery and needs cheering up.

[InfinityThor]

This happened two days ago and it's still on my mind. How many others think I'm a virgin?! It got me thinking that I must be extremely socially inept if women think a guy in his late twenties is still a virgin. Fuk my life.

Why do you even care what they think?

[AlleeKat]

Tell her to go **** herself and it's none of her goddamn business.

if she's hot you can always say "no, you want me to bend you over the copier and prove it?"

[Gallowglass]

It got me thinking that I must be extremely socially inept if women think a guy in his late twenties is still a virgin

RIP Ted Bundy

Riiight...

[Swanky]

Why do you even care what they think?

I care because being viewed as a 28-year-old virgin signifies that I'm severely lacking a department(s). In my case it's my social skills. Plus, girls would not be interested in a guy who's in his late twenties and is believed to be a virgin. Or more or less made me reflect on how bad I am at social interaction. I knew it was bad, but not bad enough to be thought of a well-aged virgin. Girls don't want 28-year-old virgins a partners or lovers. By the way, to reitorate, I am NOT a virgin. Just haven't been laid since 2008 -- yeah, talk about dry spells.

Tell her to go **** herself and it's none of her goddamn business.

if she's hot you can always say "no, you want me to bend you over the copier and prove it?"

She wasn't rude about it. The question was inappropriate but she didn't make a scene and put me on show. So I had no reason to orally abuse her. Plus, if I said what you suggested, however much I like that line, I'd be reprimanded by my superiors when she tells them.

She's not hot, but not ugly either. She's like a 6 or 7.

[Swanky]

Riiight...

What?

[Boffothe]

Tell her to go **** herself and it's none of her goddamn business.

if she's hot you can always say "no, you want me to bend you over the copier and prove it?"

Not a good idea, I'd imagine this pathetic foreveraloner is wholly unsatisfying and whimperingly pathetic at sex so then everyone would just know he's not a virgin but is still pitiful

[Swanky]

Not a good idea, I'd imagine this pathetic foreveraloner is wholly unsatisfying and whimperingly pathetic at sex so then everyone would just know he's not a virgin but is still pitiful

**** you. Because I'm not socialable I'm pathetic? Right. Also, I've never labelled myself as as Foreveraloner. Well I guess having a huge social circle like yours proves that your successful. I'll tell you what, though: I'd bet that I'm better educated than you and have a career that surpasses yours in terms of status. By the way, I've gotten girls off in the past just from oral.

[Gallowglass]

What?

People who pay homage to serial killers don't tend to be the life of the party, nomsayin'?

[Swanky]

People who pay homage to serial killers don't tend to be the life of the party, nomsayin'?

More of a tribute. I don't condone what he did, for the most part, but you have to admire that he actually went out and did what many men have at one time in their life thought about. It takes balls.

[Boffothe]

**** you. Because I'm not socialable I'm pathetic? Right. Also, I've never labelled myself as as Foreveraloner. Well I guess having a huge social circle like yours proves that your successful. I'll tell you what, though: I'd bet that I'm better educated than you and have a career that surpasses yours in terms of status. By the way, I've gotten girls off in the past just from oral.

"Have you ever, am... slept with a girl before?"

"Have you ever, am... slept with a girl before?"

"Have you ever, am... slept with a girl before?"

[InfinityThor]

**** you. Because I'm not socialable I'm pathetic? Right. Also, I've never labelled myself as as Foreveraloner. Well I guess having a huge social circle like yours proves that your successful. I'll tell you what, though: I'd bet that I'm better educated than you and have a career that surpasses yours in terms of status. By the way, I've gotten girls off in the past just from oral.

Dude wtf... you really need to work on your self-esteem because you have some glaringly obvious issues.

Why do you even feel the need to defend yourself on an internet forum? Stop being so insecure, that type of stuff should just roll off your back, as with the virgin comments.

The education/career/oral skills comments just make you look like an insecure tosspot.

[RCMDCanuck]

OP does look beta in his picture. Girly men, even if they are OP's height, will often be assumed to be ******* or virgin. OP needs to find a way to create a more rugged looking face.

[Swanky]

Dude wtf... you really need to work on your self-esteem because you have some glaringly obvious issues.

Why do you even feel the need to defend yourself on an internet forum? Stop being so insecure, that type of stuff should just roll off your back, as with the virgin comments.

The education/career/oral skills comments just make you look like an insecure tosspot.

Well the guy attacked me for no valid reason. I was merely defending myself. I don't liked being looked down upon, by anyone, especially women though. And I HATE WITH A PASSION prejudiced people, and they are in abundance in my town.

OP does look beta in his picture. Girly men, even if they are OP's height, will often be assumed to be ******* or virgin. OP needs to find a way to create a more rugged looking face.

Every girl I've dated said I'm "cute" rather than "hot." And cuteness is associated with boyish, feminine features. But, hell, there's not much I can do to change my face. But she didn't think I'm a virgin because of the way I look; she thought I'm a virgin because I'm a social misfit.

[Swanky]

Dude wtf... you really need to work on your self-esteem because you have some glaringly obvious issues.

Why do you even feel the need to defend yourself on an internet forum? Stop being so insecure, that type of stuff should just roll off your back, as with the virgin comments.

The education/career/oral skills comments just make you look like an insecure tosspot.

Another thing, how would you feel if the majority of women thought you were a virgin because you had a shortcoming of some sort? I bet you wouldn't feel great about it.

[Swanky]

"Have you ever, am... slept with a girl before?"

"Have you ever, am... slept with a girl before?"

"Have you ever, am... slept with a girl before?"

Yeah, that's what she said. Your point is?

[RCMDCanuck]

Well the guy attacked me for no valid reason. I was merely defending myself. I don't liked being looked down upon, by anyone, especially women though. And I HATE WITH A PASSION prejudiced people, and they are in abundance in my town.

Every girl I've dated said I'm "cute" rather than "hot." And cuteness is associated with boyish, feminine features. But, hell, there's not much I can do to change my face. But she didn't think I'm a virgin because of the way I look; she thought I'm a virgin because I'm a social misfit.

We have similiar stats. If we called cute it's mainly to do with our weight / face fat. If we both lost 20 pounds we would likely go from 'cute' to 'handsome', just because our faces become tighter.

When was the last time you saw a Body Aethestic Male (heavy lifter) with facial aethestics get called cute? Almost never.

[speeder89]

6 x and ur 28? mmmm well if last was 4 years ago technically speaking ur a virgin again im afraid sorry op but uve revirgined

[RCMDCanuck]

Most of my lays were in University and on Vacation. I sometimes can take home a girl if I go out to a bar late at night but there doesn't seem to be many horny women around, because each bar I go to often has far more dudes than women.

If you want regular sex then you need a girlfriend or cash for hookers.


But even a lot of men with girlfriends, find that the girlfriends only want sex once a week or less. Female body is biologically capable of having far more orgarsm and stronger ones than guys but most of them are likely just getting off with Vibrators and Dildoes.

[Swanky]

We have similiar stats. If we called cute it's mainly to do with our weight / face fat. If we both lost 20 pounds we would likely go from 'cute' to 'handsome', just because our faces become tighter.

When was the last time you saw a Body Aethestic Male (heavy lifter) with facial aethestics get called cute? Almost never.

Good point. Even though my BF % is at 19, my face still looks quite lean, as you can tell from my avi.

6 x and ur 28? mmmm well if last was 4 years ago technically speaking ur a virgin again im afraid sorry op but uve revirgined

What I meant is that I have had 6 sexual partners -- 3 GFs, two one-night stands and one fuk buddy. But you're right: 4 years without sex is kind of like being a born again virgin. But that's the price you pay when you have no social circle/friends. You don't get the chance to network. When I had friends, that's when I got girls.

[Swanky]

Most of my lays were in University and on Vacation. I sometimes can take home a girl if I go out to a bar late at night but there doesn't seem to be many horny women around, because each bar I go to often has far more dudes than women.

If you want regular sex then you need a girlfriend or cash for hookers.


But even a lot of men with girlfriends, find that the girlfriends only want sex once a week or less. Female body is biologically capable of having far more orgarsm and stronger ones than guys but most of them are likely just getting off with Vibrators and Dildoes.

I can't go to bars or clubs alone. Nobody does that. I'd look like a loner who's there solely to pick up. You're spot-on about the female orgasm, by the way. However, I think the frequency at which they wish to have sex varies from girl to girl. Some have a crazy high libido.

[RCMDCanuck]

Good point. Even though my BF % is at 19, my face still looks quite lean, as you can tell from my avi.

What I meant is that I have had 6 sexual partners -- 3 GFs, two one-night stands and one fuk buddy. But you're right: 4 years without sex is kind of like being a born again virgin. But that's the price you pay when you have no social circle/friends. You don't get the chance to network. When I had friends, that's when I got girls.

It couldn't be that hard. I live in a suburb and my Dad's office is across the street from a popular suburb bar, I head there at 12 / 1 AM looking for drunk babes. But that's just DTF with a drunk girl I guess - you are right, however, that getting a sexual partner (Girlfrend) is another. The only option for me to find a GF is through online dating.

[InfinityThor]

Another thing, how would you feel if the majority of women thought you were a virgin because you had a shortcoming of some sort? I bet you wouldn't feel great about it.

It wouldn't bother me at all, literally zero. The entire world... all my friends, all my family and all the strangers could think I was the most worthless, scummiest person alive and it would have zero effect on me.

I know exactly who I am and I'm completely happy with who I am, that's what it is to have high self-esteem.

You just have shockingly low self-esteem and you desperately need to work on it... if you're happy with who you are it wouldn't matter what anybody else thinks but it's very obvious that you don't rate yourself highly.

[RCMDCanuck]

It wouldn't bother me at all, literally zero. The entire world... all my friends, all my family and all the strangers could think I was the most worthless, scummiest person alive and it would have zero effect on me.

I know exactly who I am and I'm completely happy with who I am, that's what it is to have high self-esteem.

You just have shockingly low self-esteem and you desperately need to work on it... if you're happy with who you are it wouldn't matter what anybody else thinks but it's very obvious that you don't rate yourself highly.

Go tell yourself that in the mirror. What you said is the samething as other idiots saying it's all confidence. A fat 3/10 male hitting on a 5 or 6 female is always going to be rejected. Most of the time the only way a fat dude gets laid if he's famous or everyone knows he's packing a large wallet.

It's not a confidence thing unless a woman is attracted to confidence. Most North American women don't like confidence anymore (they consider it arrogance) because of something called Feminism.

Women tend to have all the power in selecting which men they want and they often make that rationale decision based on aethestics and the man's status (or network).

[Swanky]

It couldn't be that hard. I live in a suburb and my Dad's office is across the street from a popular suburb bar, I head there at 12 / 1 AM looking for drunk babes. But that's just DTF with a drunk girl I guess - you are right, however, that getting a sexual partner (Girlfrend) is another. The only option for me to find a GF is through online dating.

You go to this bar ALONE? Doesn't that reek of desperation. It's almost as if you are there purely to find a chick with whom to hook up. Chicks don't dig that desperate vibe, so I've found from experience.

I tried online dating and got one date. It was a disaster. I had her hook, line and sinker over POF and cellphone texts, but when we met she realised I was a fraud, lacking confidence, game and social skills. I never heard from her again and the date lasted 30 minutes. The next day she deleted her POF account. That just made me feel like shyt.

[InfinityThor]

Go tell yourself that in the mirror. What you said is the samething as other idiots saying it's all confidence. A fat 3/10 male hitting on a 5 or 6 female is always going to be rejected. Most of the time the only way a fat dude gets laid if he's famous or everyone knows he's packing a large wallet.

Your post makes no sense, I'm talking about self-esteem... ones view of their own self-worth.

It had nothing to do with pickup.