How do I know if I am a covert narcissist?
People with covert narcissism “have to spend a lot of time making sure they don't feel bad feelings, that they don't feel imperfect or ashamed or limited or small,” he explains. People with covert narcissism also rely on others to build up their self-esteem.
NPD typically involves insecurity and an easily damaged sense of self-esteem. This can manifest in covert narcissism as extreme sensitivity to criticism.
Covert narcissism is more strongly linked to introversion than other types of narcissism.
This relates to narcissistic insecurity. People with covert NPD are deeply afraid of having their flaws or failures seen by others.
Exposing their innermost feelings of inferiority would shatter the illusion of their superiority. Avoiding social interactions helps lower the chances of exposure.
People with covert narcissism generally spend more time thinking about their abilities and achievements than talking about them. They might seem smug or have an “I’ll show you” attitude.
“They may withdraw into fantasy, into an inner narrative world that’s not equivalent to reality, where they have inflated importance, powers, or a specialness that is opposite of what their actual life is like,” Joseph says.
Fantasies could involve:
being recognized for their talents and promoted at work
being admired for their attractiveness everywhere they go
receiving praise for saving people from a disaster
Covert narcissism involves a higher risk of co-occurring depression and anxiety than other types of narcissism.
Someone with covert narcissism may hold grudges for a long time.
People with either grandiose narcissism or NPD often envy other people who have things they feel they deserve, including wealth, power, or status.
They also often believe others envy them because they’re special and superior.
When people with covert narcissism can’t measure up to the “superhuman” standards they set for themselves, they may feel inadequate in response to this failure
One research study found that people with covert narcissism may have had more authoritarian parents and may, more frequently, recall instances of childhood trauma and abuse than those who have grandiose narcissism.
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