Matches have pretty much died ²

[pondus_levo]

Oh, so they weren't even officially separated? Yeah, don't understand being on a dating site if so. I know someone that had just moved back to the area, had no place, no job and was on a dating site. Like, you just moved and instead of getting your chit sorted out you jump on a dating site? Clearly she was looking for a sucker to take care of her and she found one. Just lol.

Not even online. The woman I met at the bar last weekend. Told me that she just got out of a 11 year relationship and is getting a divorce. I' m like...."you are ready to date?" and she said, "I'm ready to move on. I wouldn't have given you my number if I wasn't." I interpret it as wanting, not being ready. Wanting to move on and actually being ready are two very different things. There's no way she is ready. I wanted to move on too, but I sure as hell wasn't ready to date anyone seriously for almost a year. I broke it off with the last woman I dated for the same reason.

Anyhow. I haven't texted her since Friday and she hasn't texted me either... so... shrug.

[Luc1fer]

Not even online. The woman I met at the bar last weekend. Told me that she just got out of a 11 year relationship and is getting a divorce. I' m like...."you are ready to date?" and she said, "I'm ready to move on. I wouldn't have given you my number if I wasn't." Wanting to move on and actually being ready are two very different things. I wanted to move on too, but I sure as hell wasn't ready to date anyone seriously for almost a year.

Dude, even after my 3-year on/off relationship I wasn't ready to date for 6 months at least (and I think it really took a year to clear my head enough to date with an open mind). Blew my mind that she moved on so fast. Really fast. But like you said, she probably didn't truly move on in a healthy manner.

[Silencespeaks]

Not even online. The woman I met at the bar last weekend. Told me that she just got out of a 11 year relationship and is getting a divorce. I' m like...."you are ready to date?" and she said, "I'm ready to move on. I wouldn't have given you my number if I wasn't." I interpret it as wanting, not being ready. Wanting to move on and actually being ready are two very different things. There's no way she is ready. I wanted to move on too, but I sure as hell wasn't ready to date anyone seriously for almost a year. I broke it off with the last woman I dated for the same reason.

Anyhow. I haven't texted her since Friday and she hasn't texted me either... so... shrug.

This is really individual I think. Depends on personality type and level of attachment in the relationship. Some people take years after a breakup to be ok and ready to move on. Other people are ready the very next day.

For example people who didn’t love or respect their spouse and who were not emotionally attached in the first place. Or people who were cheating or wanted out of the marriage for a long time before the actual breakup. So they already emotionally detached long before the actual breakup. Also people who just can’t be alone regardless of circumstances.

[Luc1fer]

[fishnbrah]

You may have unfortunately been a part of the LTC

In all seriousness just physically being around a girl is imo almost better than the sex. Granted the sex is dope, but knowing someone actually wants to be there + not being alone + the social interaction. Just fun and enjoyable dstuff.

never felt these feels.

[damlurker550]

Good for your confidence sure, but damn you are picky for a 34 year old virgin. One day you will have to get the monkey of your back.

lol yeah.. I mean I reckon Ive waited for over 20 years now since puberty might as well wait more. Although my standards are not nearly as high as most miscers. Not even close.



I'd probably have been able to at least go on a date years ago if I wasn't so picky, because happened couple of years ago:





Background: She's a friend of a guy I used to train with at Brazilian Jiu-jitsu. I've never even met her IRL. I guess she saw me post on my friend's fb. She randomly messaged me that.

Days later she tagged me in a movie screening of a movie we'd both talked about. kind of obvious she wanted me to ask her to go see it.



Also this came up in the convo:





lulz were had



Anyways months later I was at a training camp in Thailand with another kid who had met her, I didn't even mention this conversation and he randomly mentioned how this girl was one of the nicest people he'd met. kinda felt bad for blowing her off.

tbh my goal is just to go out with a girl on a single date. zero expectations. I've never even been in alone with a female (not counting close family), not even in a public place..

That shouldn't be hard to do even for me if I get professional picture taken and use tinder right? I mean using tinder gold, boosts, over a period of 6months?

[Luc1fer]

damlurker, you basically self-sabotaged yourself multiple times. At some point you gotta just bite the bullet. Go on Tinder or some app and just meet with a girl, even if she’s a bit less attractive.

You’ll know it’s short term, so you’ll have nothing to lose except gain some experience.

[DouLou]

damlurker, you basically self-sabotaged yourself multiple times. At some point you gotta just bite the bullet. Go on Tinder or some app and just meet with a girl, even if she’s a bit less attractive.

You’ll know it’s short term, so you’ll have nothing to lose except gain some experience.

"Youre cute"
"Noones ever said that about me well maybe my mum"

Hahahahahahahaaaha

[MediocreGains]

tbh my goal is just to go out with a girl on a single date. zero expectations. I've never even been in alone with a female (not counting close family), not even in a public place..

Mind blown how this is even possible. Makes me wonder how you were raised.

[alltrapbrah]

I love how a little bit of poosay can take all the angry (Otaku), mopey incel (Instant Loser), or flat-out ragebeast (US Ranger, rest in peace mayne) misc posters, and make them go

When will it be mine turn...

I'll never forget InstantLoser's attitude in the weeks following his loss of virginity. Dear lord his confidence and self belief were through the roof. Quite an incredible transformation, albeit temporarily.

Approval from women really does have a profound affect on the male psyche.

[BlackScorpio91]

lol yeah.. I mean I reckon Ive waited for over 20 years now since puberty might as well wait more. Although my standards are not nearly as high as most miscers. Not even close.



I'd probably have been able to at least go on a date years ago if I wasn't so picky, because happened couple of years ago:





Background: She's a friend of a guy I used to train with at Brazilian Jiu-jitsu. I've never even met her IRL. I guess she saw me post on my friend's fb. She randomly messaged me that.

Days later she tagged me in a movie screening of a movie we'd both talked about. kind of obvious she wanted me to ask her to go see it.



Also this came up in the convo:





lulz were had



Anyways months later I was at a training camp in Thailand with another kid who had met her, I didn't even mention this conversation and he randomly mentioned how this girl was one of the nicest people he'd met. kinda felt bad for blowing her off.

tbh my goal is just to go out with a girl on a single date. zero expectations. I've never even been in alone with a female (not counting close family), not even in a public place..

That shouldn't be hard to do even for me if I get professional picture taken and use tinder right? I mean using tinder gold, boosts, over a period of 6months?

Wooooooow.

[alltrapbrah]

Mind blown how this is even possible. Makes me wonder how you were raised.

FA types have a lot of fear surrounding women, to the extent that it cripples any and all action.

[Legz422]

That's what I meant, intimacy. Didn't mean sex, because that can just be a release without intimacy. In the worst cases, it's just an orgasm.

The chemistry you feel (probably oxytocin or something) when intimate and bonding is different than just sex, but often combined with sex/touching etc.

Yes, I actually miss the kissing and touching and cuddling the most. I can give myself an orgasm, but I can't have the rest without a partner.

Maybe menopause is setting in. My drive isn't as high as it used to be, but that could also be lack of sex/intimacy and how random and far between it is. The only guy I'm attracted to sexually is my FWB. I look at all other guys and just think, meh. No matter how good they look. Feelsbad.

Not even online. The woman I met at the bar last weekend. Told me that she just got out of a 11 year relationship and is getting a divorce. I' m like...."you are ready to date?" and she said, "I'm ready to move on. I wouldn't have given you my number if I wasn't." I interpret it as wanting, not being ready. Wanting to move on and actually being ready are two very different things. There's no way she is ready. I wanted to move on too, but I sure as hell wasn't ready to date anyone seriously for almost a year. I broke it off with the last woman I dated for the same reason.

Anyhow. I haven't texted her since Friday and she hasn't texted me either... so... shrug.

Yeah, I took a year from separation to even want to think about dating. By the time I started I was 6 months out from being officially divorced. I needed that time to make sure I was ok emotionally and my son was ok. It was rough for him and that made it harder for me.

[NitrogenWidget]

Hmmm blueberry ale.... On scale of sweetness 1-10, how sweet is it?

Hard to tell since the flavor profile changes drastically after it's carbonated.
I'd say it's a 4 maybe now.
the yeast chewed up most of the sugar from the blueberries and left the blueberry.
it isn't in your face blueberry either.
It's balanced with the malt.

i't should be ready by next weekend.

[Silencespeaks]

Lol I act the same around guys with light blue eyes. Just love them.

[Jimmehhh]

Does anyone else have a bunch of pending matches that they never seemed to get matched with?






I'll swipe until I run out, and not a single match


And yeah I did swipe right,

[DanielleGreen]

You may have unfortunately been a part of the LTC

In all seriousness just physically being around a girl is imo almost better than the sex. Granted the sex is dope, but knowing someone actually wants to be there + not being alone + the social interaction. Just fun and enjoyable dstuff.

Congrats on getting laid!!!!!! I had feeling since you were gone you were getting busy!

[HockeyBacon18]

Does anyone else have a bunch of pending matches that they never seemed to get matched with?

ive heard those "see who swiped right" are primarily people you already swiped left on

[Silencespeaks]

Legz FYI Gymshark has a sale now with big discounts. Going to order this sports bra only $9 now and will probably get some other stuff too.

https://www.gymshark.com/collections...usky-pink-marl

[pondus_levo]

ive heard those "see who swiped right" are primarily people you already swiped left on

I don't think so. It's women that are out of your range that have swiped right on you. When I have a bunch of pending and go through and swipe, either they disappear or I match. The ones that are left are really far away.

[jimbong]

It was like a math type question 2 paragraphs, and then they're like "made it work".

Imo that isnt realistic, how a real job works, or etc. Like I have functional web applications hosted online. Coding tests imo are just pretentious and kinda b.s.

However I'll be prepared next time.

Yeah, I hear ya. Lots of non realistic hoops to jump through in job interviews. But keep in mind, some of the goal behind things like that is to see how you work under pressure/stress. Plus interviewing itself is a skill, gotta get reps in to hone your answers and feel comfortable/confident. You'll definitely be better the next go round.

[NitrogenWidget]

crashed at a friends sat after a party.
woman i've known for a while and slept with a few times is crashing on the other couch.
middle of the night she crawling into my couch and wants to cuddle.
start fooling around.
twice she stopped me from taking her jeans off.
after the 2nd time she goes back to her own couch.
whatever.
10 mins. later she is back on my couch saying she just wants to cuddle and jams her ass against the boner she gave me because there is barely enough room for the two of us.
I tell her "if we aren't going to have sex, get back on your couch."

but....she just wants to cuddle.....
I kicked her off and went back to sleep once my hard-on subsided.
WTF?

I left in the morning without saying a word to her.

[DanielleGreen]

Legz FYI Gymshark has a sale now with big discounts. Going to order this sports bra only $9 now and will probably get some other stuff too.

https://www.gymshark.com/collections...usky-pink-marl

I looked and a lot is sold out. How's the quality? Also are the bras actually good for high impact sports?

#LargeCrew

[DanielleGreen]

crashed at a friends sat after a party.
woman i've known for a while and slept with a few times is crashing on the other couch.
middle of the night she crawling into my couch and wants to cuddle.
start fooling around.
twice she stopped me from taking her jeans off.
after the 2nd time she goes back to her own couch.
whatever.
10 mins. later she is back on my couch saying she just wants to cuddle and jams her ass against the boner she gave me because there is barely enough room for the two of us.
I tell her "if we aren't going to have sex, get back on your couch."

but....she just wants to cuddle.....
I kicked her off and went back to sleep once my hard-on subsided.
WTF?

I left in the morning without saying a word to her.

Weird. I would've taken her spot. LOL at cuddling.

[Silencespeaks]

I looked and a lot is sold out. How's the quality? Also are the bras actually good for high impact sports?

#LargeCrew

Yes I just tried to order but everything I wanted is sold out in my size.

The quality is good. I have a lot from them and I’m really happy with the stuff I have.

High impact idk because I just only use it for lifting. Their sizes run kind of small and I wear a medium.

[katya422]

Oh, hey. Did this thread take a positive turn? Nice.

throw vapid in there as well.
I meet plenty of attractive women in their late 30's/early 40's who are quite smart but act vaccuous and display the emotional maturity of a sorority girl from a national lampoons college movie because........it gets them basically whatever they want from men. tee hee.

There are true ornaments out there though.
If you were a man dating or work in a big company you meet them.
I can usually tell if they are really dumb or just putting on an act cause they think men like it.

Not just men. Tried that on in 7th grade and it works...better social life all around. Goofy dingbat chick > nerdy smart chick; at least IME. Dumb girls are less annoying/threatening. Not that I don't have a naturally goofy nature to draw on...

Yes, I actually miss the kissing and touching and cuddling the most. I can give myself an orgasm, but I can't have the rest without a partner.

Maybe menopause is setting in. My drive isn't as high as it used to be, but that could also be lack of sex/intimacy and how random and far between it is. The only guy I'm attracted to sexually is my FWB. I look at all other guys and just think, meh. No matter how good they look. Feelsbad.

Yeah, I took a year from separation to even want to think about dating. By the time I started I was 6 months out from being officially divorced. I needed that time to make sure I was ok emotionally and my son was ok. It was rough for him and that made it harder for me.

Seems about the right timeline. Snowed under by life right now so it doesn't even matter. And my ex has been an education; as in just don't even know if I can stand to risk that again. Hopefully wouldn't make the same mistake again.

He is completely self-centered, but puts on an act that I could only see through after the fact. Will say whatever he thinks will get him what he wants, fake sympathy, threats, lies, etc. If I could Thanos him without taking out my kid it would be tempting...just POOF gone, erased.

Most recent round he harassed me for weeks to change our parenting time schedule. Told him straight that I was dragging my feet about agreeing because the only reason I could think of that would make him want to change is that he is dating someone and it would mesh better with her schedule and I don't like her getting dragged into his dating life. He reassures me that he understands about not having our daughter socializing with all the women he dates, says he actually wants to change the schedule so that she (our daughter) will be less involved with this woman. Then this morning I get a call that our daughter is sick/can't go to school and he is going to drop her off with me. She comes in and showers then says she is going to "take a nap", which I questioned since it was so early:

"I had to get up at 5:30 this morning."

Why? Your bus doesn't come until 7:30.

"We had to drive an hour and a half."

So, yeah, guess the new SO lives a ways off and he had our daughter there overnight and thought that getting her up super early on a school day after sleeping in a strange place was perfectly acceptable.

Sigh...

[Silencespeaks]

Oh, hey. Did this thread take a positive turn? Nice.



Not just men. Tried that on in 7th grade and it works...better social life all around. Goofy dingbat chick > nerdy smart chick; at least IME. Dumb girls are less annoying/threatening. Not that I don't have a naturally goofy nature to draw on...



Seems about the right timeline. Snowed under by life right now so it doesn't even matter. And my ex has been an education; as in just don't even know if I can stand to risk that again. Hopefully wouldn't make the same mistake again.

He is completely self-centered, but puts on an act that I could only see through after the fact. Will say whatever he thinks will get him what he wants, fake sympathy, threats, lies, etc. If I could Thanos him without taking out my kid it would be tempting...just POOF gone, erased.

Most recent round he harassed me for weeks to change our parenting time schedule. Told him straight that I was dragging my feet about agreeing because the only reason I could think of that would make him want to change is that he is dating someone and it would mesh better with her schedule and I don't like her getting dragged into his dating life. He reassures me that he understands about not having our daughter socializing with all the women he dates, says he actually wants to change the schedule so that she (our daughter) will be less involved with this woman. Then this morning I get a call that our daughter is sick/can't go to school and he is going to drop her off with me. She comes in and showers then says she is going to "take a nap", which I questioned since it was so early:

"I had to get up at 5:30 this morning."

Why? Your bus doesn't come until 7:30.

"We had to drive an hour and a half."

So, yeah, guess the new SO lives a ways off and he had our daughter there overnight and thought that getting her up super early on a school day after sleeping in a strange place was perfectly acceptable.

Sigh...

I’m so sorry, that sounds really rough.

The only good thing about my divorce was that we didn’t have kids so after all the financial stuff was sorted out I could go complete NC. Haven’t had any contact in years and it’s so peaceful and lovely.

Would have been completely miserable to have to keep dealing with him for shared custody. And mine has some really srs issues that would be very unhealthy and dangerous for kids to be around. Would’ve been awful.

Although I do have some vague fantasy in the back of my head that if we had kids maybe he would’ve transformed his character and personality. And become a good person for the kids and maybe we wouldn’t have gotten divorced.

But it’s just a fantasy because I don’t think that’s what really happens irl. Plenty of people with kids still have problems and still get divorced. So having kids to “save” the marriage would’ve likely been a disaster. But I still think about that from time to time.

[Luc1fer]

Although I do have some vague fantasy in the back of my head that if we had kids maybe he would’ve transformed his character and personality. And become a good person for the kids and maybe we wouldn’t have gotten divorced.

But it’s just a fantasy because I don’t think that’s what really happens irl. Plenty of people with kids still have problems and still get divorced. So having kids to “save” the marriage would’ve likely been a disaster. But I still think about that from time to time.

I wouldn't bother thinking about that scenario. People don't really change like that, but you already know that.

Remember I went through the same turmoil wondering if my ex would be different if I just moved in and married her. Then she'd feel secure and we'd be happy. I'll never know the answer, but from everything I vicariously learned, that probably wouldn't have been a smart thing to bet on.

[Silencespeaks]

I wouldn't bother thinking about that scenario. People don't really change like that, but you already know that.

Remember I went through the same turmoil wondering if my ex would be different if I just moved in and married her. Then she'd feel secure and we'd be happy. I'll never know the answer, but from everything I vicariously learned, that probably wouldn't have been a smart thing to bet on.

Oh yes I know. Rationally I know. But emotionally I still can’t help but think sometimes “what if.” But the most likely scenario would’ve been that nothing changed and instead the kids would be messed up for life.

[NitrogenWidget]

Oh, hey. Did this thread take a positive turn? Nice.



Not just men. Tried that on in 7th grade and it works...better social life all around. Goofy dingbat chick > nerdy smart chick; at least IME. Dumb girls are less annoying/threatening. Not that I don't have a naturally goofy nature to draw on...



Seems about the right timeline. Snowed under by life right now so it doesn't even matter. And my ex has been an education; as in just don't even know if I can stand to risk that again. Hopefully wouldn't make the same mistake again.

He is completely self-centered, but puts on an act that I could only see through after the fact. Will say whatever he thinks will get him what he wants, fake sympathy, threats, lies, etc. If I could Thanos him without taking out my kid it would be tempting...just POOF gone, erased.

Most recent round he harassed me for weeks to change our parenting time schedule. Told him straight that I was dragging my feet about agreeing because the only reason I could think of that would make him want to change is that he is dating someone and it would mesh better with her schedule and I don't like her getting dragged into his dating life. He reassures me that he understands about not having our daughter socializing with all the women he dates, says he actually wants to change the schedule so that she (our daughter) will be less involved with this woman. Then this morning I get a call that our daughter is sick/can't go to school and he is going to drop her off with me. She comes in and showers then says she is going to "take a nap", which I questioned since it was so early:

"I had to get up at 5:30 this morning."

Why? Your bus doesn't come until 7:30.

"We had to drive an hour and a half."

So, yeah, guess the new SO lives a ways off and he had our daughter there overnight and thought that getting her up super early on a school day after sleeping in a strange place was perfectly acceptable.

Sigh...

what in the actual fuk?