Watching your parents get old is hard.

[bsmit107]

Sorry to hear that man. That's a chitty situation. You holding up okay?

Thanks for asking. Yes and no. 80/20 good days/bad only because I know whats probably in the near (2-5, maybe 6-7 years) future. I don't live close (They live in Savannah GA, I live in the Virgin Islands) to them so that makes it even more tough. The worst is usually the week or so after I visit them. I talk to them almost daily though so that kind of helps.

How are you doing with your situation?

[sword_]

Yeah my dad died last year. It is still fresh in my mind.

My mom seems to be aging gracefully but when my mom is talking to me about putting a life insurance policy on her we are realizing her own mortality.

My aunt just had a conversation with me also on making me the executor on her will. She has no kids on her own and she feels like I will be able to protect the family and her resources more than certain family members.

I DO NOT want to be having these f*cking conversations with either of them TBH because I love them both and don't want to see them go.

[iwant2beswole]

That's life son

[aal04]

My dads 70. used to beat the chit out of me (mostly deserved)... Now he can barely walk, has an O2 machine he carries everywhere and is so calm now.

My whole life they have trained me for the day they will depart. When i was a kid, they would talk to me about "Take care of your brother, we wont be here forever and he will be your closest family"

They always said "We wont be here forever" and gave me advice on life. I dont know how ill react when he passes but I am definitely much more thick skinned and mentally strong than nearly everyone i know. Every funeral ive been too ive pretty much been the only one to not cry.

[BobLoblawBrah]

I went away for 2 years and didnt see anyone, then when i came back i was truly shocked at the way everyone I had known had aged. friends and fam all with more wrinkles, more weather. Was profound the way it made me feel.

[kratosbrah]

Feels even worse when you notice other people in your family stop taking care of themselves because of so. My mom is in her late 40s and just stopped giving an f about her health after my grandfather stroked out and lost most of his mental faculties, my grandma is still kicking but has various kidney/eye/heart issues and is starting to show signs of dementia. My uncles are reaching their middle age and stopped taking care of themselves because they're depressed that their parents are reaching the end.. It sucks so bad to see the people you love decline, but life is bittersweet. We're all going to reach that point and none of us will be able to escape it, the most we can do is cherish our families and ourselves while we still have the time.

[faxanadu]

The feels are strong ITT

Im 33, my dad just turned 61 and hasn't been taking care of himself for a few years now. He is Diabetic, eats like chit, smokes, has pretty much stopped leaving the house (retired due to health complications 3 years ago) showers 1/week, hasn't shaved in probably 3 months, has lost a majority of his teeth, is in the early stages of either Dementia or Alzheimer, just had 2 toes amputated due to infection and has lost about 60lbs in the last 2-3 years. He looks rough and no matter what I (or the family) say to him, he continues to not give a F. The hardest part is knowing that a majority of his issues are self inflicted by the way that he has chosen to live and not do what he should be and that he is still a zone where he could turn things around, but he isnt and he just continues to get worse.

My mom has also just about given up and has started to let things (in their life) slip and for someone who used to be so put together and always make sure things were taken care of, is just in F it mode now.

There's so much more, but that's all I'm going to say here. Its been a rough couple of years

Pretty much my old man to a "T". One of my brothers and I even wrote him a letter hoping stating that it be nice if he got his health together for the sake of his grandchildren. Most of the people on my dads side of the family are the rural outdoor steak & potatoes type. While i love those types of people (im mostly one myself) they all seem to have a fk-it attitude when it comes to health. They all eat like chit, drink too much, smoke, and cave to soda when their libs are rotting away from diabetes.

I think the worst part is seeing some of my younger relatives and brothers start down that same path. And they all act oblivious to it and dismiss that there is anything they can do.

I did a retreat many years ago and all my immediate family wrote me letters. My dads letter stated something like, "Take care of your mom as she will certainly live longer than me". It's just weird to hear that in a somewhat defeatist tone. Sadly, it's probably not even true. My mom is one of those sickly types of people. She gets hurt and sick all the time. My old man is built like a tank. Dude is almost 70 and still almost has a full patch of brown hair on his head. If he actually took care of himself he'd easily look 20 years younger.

The people i absolutely feel the worst for are those that have outlived their peers. Most of them just seem so lonely... just waiting around for the reaper. I think what really gets these people is the lack of youthful contact. None of them want to sit around with all the old fkers and just get old together. What they really want is the youth and their grandchildren to spend time with them ... to share vibrant living energy. Sadly, most grandchildren and even children only visit them occasionally.

All this chit reminds me of this:

[JaxBruh]

Dealing this now. My dad is in his early 60’s but has a lot of issue going on. My parents retired and moved to our home state. I haven’t seen them in about a year. To far to drive on the weekend. To broke for a plane ticket plus taking off work.

[beer n brats]

this thread is depressing af

[MuzzieChik786]

Hang in there Fraz. It's very tough, but you'll need to mentally prepare yourself for the inevitable.

I find that the most important thing is for you to make sure there won't be any regrets when they're no longer around. Regrets will demolish you if there are any. I'm talking about real regrets, not ones that are not in your control - but those you can control. Those ones, you can't shed, ever.