Depressed. Wanna be ripped:'(

[Iworkowwt]

Hey ladies

Before I got married and had 5 kids (srs ) I weighed 125 and was VERY skinny. I know that's a normal weight for a lot of the ladies on here at 5'5" but for me I looked borderline anorexic/ size 0....and that's not a delusional "real women have curves statement" lol I really did look bad.

Right now I weigh 139. I look great in clothes. I wear a size 8, totally normal/ thin by society standards.
I feel like either my friends just DONT care about whether they are in any kind of shape (which is probably true) because they say i look great ....OR being on bb.com has ruined me.

I feel like I'll never see my body the same way again. I want to be RIPPED and for people to be able to really tell I workout. People all the time tell me how awesome I look when they find out I have five kids but I'd really like to take it farther. I still am a little squishy. I'm in ok"shape" I guess but I wanna look like these women I see on here that are doing bikini comps.

Am I being unrealistic.
Please look at my pics BC idk how to post them from mobile
What do I need to do? Gain muscle? Cut? I have no idea what I'm doing:/

Honest opinions please



Thanks girlies!!

[LunaLifts]

Transforming your body takes time, you have to accept that this is a process, and a lifestyle. It sounds like you want faster results, so I won't go into recomp, but it may take a few years to get where you want to be, even with bulking, and cutting.

I don't know if the bodyfat amount you want is realistic. Some women can't be too low without having issues from it, and the amount women get to for competition is only temporary. If you mean you want to look like an off season bikini competitor, then yeah, you just need to build the muscle base, and cut down fat.

As for bulking or cutting first, well that's up to you. You could do either to start, it just depends on what feels comfortable. If you feel like you can gain steadily for at least six months (8-12 is better), then start working toward a surplus. If you don't want to cut, but don't want to gain during summer, maintain until you're ready to. If you want to lean out for more growing room, you can do that too. You're smack in the middle of a healthy weight range for your height, so do what's comfortable.

Most of all though, you gotta fix that mentality, because like I said it's a long process. Accept that it'll take time, and that each day is a step in towards your goals. Set small goals in the meantime so you're not constantly focused on the end goal. Focus on hitting your calories, and killing your workouts. Learn to love the process for what it is, and the rest will follow.
And don't compare yourself to others. It's hard not to, but it's something worth working on. You can only improve on you, you can't be anyone else.

I hope this helped with some of your concerns/questions.

[Iworkowwt]

That helped so much. First, I didn't realize things like that took so long. I guess because all my life I've never had to worry about anything like this except losing some fat after each pregnancy. I just figured it would take a month , maybe two, and that I'd be good to go.
Good to know I'm not a complete failure.
Main issue that I absolutely hate is my flying squirrel arm flaps aka bingo wings. My arms got pretty big so I guess that will take time to shrink back up and build muscle.

What are some really good and effective ways to "tone" the back of your arms (yes I know lol)


Thanks to all the many many people that replied. Almost broke the freaking internet lol

Oh and repped Luna ∆∆

[Spartess]

Hey ladies

Before I got married and had 5 kids (srs ) I weighed 125 and was VERY skinny. I know that's a normal weight for a lot of the ladies on here at 5'5" but for me I looked borderline anorexic/ size 0....and that's not a delusional "real women have curves statement" lol I really did look bad.

Right now I weigh 139. I look great in clothes. I wear a size 8, totally normal/ thin by society standards.
I feel like either my friends just DONT care about whether they are in any kind of shape (which is probably true) because they say i look great ....OR being on bb.com has ruined me.

I feel like I'll never see my body the same way again. I want to be RIPPED and for people to be able to really tell I workout. People all the time tell me how awesome I look when they find out I have five kids but I'd really like to take it farther. I still am a little squishy. I'm in ok"shape" I guess but I wanna look like these women I see on here that are doing bikini comps.

Am I being unrealistic.
Please look at my pics BC idk how to post them from mobile
What do I need to do? Gain muscle? Cut? I have no idea what I'm doing:/

Honest opinions please



Thanks girlies!!

What Luna said, she speaks lots of sense.

Just have patience and dedication to the process. I've been what's called "skinny fat" for years now and recently made the decision to bulk and build some serious muscle. This was after about six months of wanting to but being afraid to up calories and fat gain. But I realized that if I want to see real changes I have to commit 100 percent so I've been bulking for over two months now and I'm loving it. I feel stronger and better than ever.

I've given myself at least a year to see some real changes (and trust me I'm not a patient person so I know what it's like to want to see results overnight), but it's a marathon and not a sprint. Everytime I feel discouraged I imagine what I'm going to look like in a years time and it helps me push through.

Just have a plan and a goal in mind and stick to it. You look damn great considering you've had five kids already so it's only up from here. There's nothing that's impossible, you can do anything. It will just take time

Good luck!

[CewSaw]

Am I being unrealistic.
Please look at my pics BC idk how to post them from mobile
What do I need to do? Gain muscle? Cut? I have no idea what I'm doing:/

On your Body Space one of your progress pictures says (I hope you don't mind me quoting you! ) "Excess skin coming off March 29th! Hope to see those abs I've worked hard for!" If you are having surgery, well TBH I know nothing about it, but I'd think you wouldn't want to start cutting before that. I had a relative who was planning on surgery to remove excess skin (after losing weight "Biggest Loser" style, very fast) and the amount of weight she was going to lose from just the surgery was a lot. She didn't go through with it (she gained the weight back). In any case I'd guess you would just want to be focused on healing and eating well for a while after that? Good luck if you were talking about surgery, and if I misread that, then please disregard this!

[denisemeu]

On your Body Space one of your progress pictures says (I hope you don't mind me quoting you! ) "Excess skin coming off March 29th! Hope to see those abs I've worked hard for!" If you are having surgery, well TBH I know nothing about it, but I'd think you wouldn't want to start cutting before that. I had a relative who was planning on surgery to remove excess skin (after losing weight "Biggest Loser" style, very fast) and the amount of weight she was going to lose from just the surgery was a lot. She didn't go through with it (she gained the weight back). In any case I'd guess you would just want to be focused on healing and eating well for a while after that? Good luck if you were talking about surgery, and if I misread that, then please disregard this!

The extra skin usually is taken through surgery. Although... you can try alternative methods such as the Derma Roller, it helps to a degree....

[Iworkowwt]

The extra skin usually is taken through surgery. Although... you can try alternative methods such as the Derma Roller, it helps to a degree....

Idk if you've looked at my pics but no amount of rolling anything will shrink that back lol it's waaay past the point of no return trust me lol it's gross...and cool at the same time cause i could use it as a blanket to wrap around at night to keep me warm, it lays beside me as my companion when my husband's away...good flap lol


Cewsaw

I've always stayed the same weight once I get down I have a really hard time gaining anything even if I wanted to. This isn't weight loss surgery .She's repairing a hernia along with a diastasis (gap between my abs) then taking off the skin.

I guess I just got so hung up on wanting to get super ripped I was gonna go on a crazy diet but decided against it. That's not healthy anyways. I don't have much weight to lose so my surgeon said 10 lbs shouldn't affect it. I don't mind being this size I just want big time muscle definition.

I'm gonna take the above posters advice and just learn to be patient growing these muscles. Maybe if I eat more spinach....

[Iworkowwt]

Oh wanted to add that I'll only lose a max amount of maybe 4lbs. Whatever my skin weighs

[denisemeu]

I did. Good luck with the surgery. You look great already

[Iworkowwt]

Thank you! That's sweet

[cirion0000]

Not a lady but I was here for another post and saw this one... just thought I'd say I know the struggle. Not just women that go through this. I feel this way all the time!

I'm at a "healthy" body fat (around 15%) but yet I am disgusted by my stomach and feel gross and bloated/fat in the ab region all the time.

I think I've finally come to accept that in order to really get that ripped and strong look, first I need to actually get really strong and bulk long enough to actually build the muscle base, THEN I can worry about shredding and looking great naked.

[Iworkowwt]

Yeah it's sooo hard mentally! It's like I know that I could probably stand to build more muscle and just be patient then lose fat..then the other side of my brain says lose weight.

I've worked so hard to lose all the baby weight 5x and I'm just paranoid that even after my surgery and she takes off this skin that I'll still feel fat around the middle That was the longest run-on sentence ever lol. Just rambling.
I guess part of my stress is pre surgery jitters.

My surgeon keeps telling me in thin and I'll look great after this excess skin comes off I've just had this so long it's hard to remember what my belly looked like before it was stretched to oblivion haha

I need to stop thinking in terms of 4-6 weeks to shred and more like several months of cardio and lifting.

I just see all these bb.com transformations of people getting super ripped in like 6 weeks and it's confusing.
Maybe they're just going crazy hardcore?

[Fiction2Fitness]

In relation to the short term transformations, they do often work really hard but it does help to have a solid base from the start. With a short term change like that, whether six or even 12 weeks, one who has a base hidden under a little fluff and bloat can carve that down to the six packs and general visible muscle. Seeing quite a bit of great progress in the 250k challenge this site has going, which is a good example. Some went from a tad fluffy to near complete 6 pack already with 4 weeks left to go. Others (me) don't quite have that muscle base and quick doesn't often result in excess skin gone without non-gym help. It can be fun but does help do think long term despite the excitement and desire for the quicker results.

[itsagoodday]

Yeah it's sooo hard mentally! It's like I know that I could probably stand to build more muscle and just be patient then lose fat..then the other side of my brain says lose weight.

I've worked so hard to lose all the baby weight 5x and I'm just paranoid that even after my surgery and she takes off this skin that I'll still feel fat around the middle That was the longest run-on sentence ever lol. Just rambling.
I guess part of my stress is pre surgery jitters.

My surgeon keeps telling me in thin and I'll look great after this excess skin comes off I've just had this so long it's hard to remember what my belly looked like before it was stretched to oblivion haha

I need to stop thinking in terms of 4-6 weeks to shred and more like several months of cardio and lifting.

I just see all these bb.com transformations of people getting super ripped in like 6 weeks and it's confusing.
Maybe they're just going crazy hardcore?

Luna was correct in the first response, when she said it would take years. You're still talking about months. If you want to be ripped with big time muscle definition (as you stated earlier), that's not gonna happen in months. You will look thinner and smaller with the extra skin gone, but it won't reveal abs until you've taken the time to build abs.

Regarding the 6 week transformations, Fiction2Fitness has it right. People making dramatic fat-to-fit transformations already have a solid muscle foundation that they built previously. They may be deconditioned, coming back from having a baby, coming off a bulk, or just plain bloating / slouching / using terrible lighting in their before pics. There's always this video as an example...



You can achieve the look you're after, but you will need to buckle down for the long haul to get there. Good luck to you!

[Iworkowwt]

Really good advice! Thanks yall!

[jonmd123]

Things definitely take time. Set challenging, yet obtainable goals to keep yourself motivated and on track. Then, make sure your training and nutrition aligns with your goals.

[ProYeo]

Plenty of good advice in here! It really does come down to time and effort, and to picking a specific goal. For instance losing fat or putting on muscle.

It's a reality that I've had to face recently. I have done a few years of competition now... I have a good muscle base, I have been able to cut down for my shows successfully, etc. But my physique is not where I want it. The reality of it all is that if I want change, I need to take that time to focus on that goal.

I can't expect to continue with competition cuts and be able to put on much muscle mass at the same time. That just doesn't work. It's why I decided to take time off from competing. I need to be able to focus on my main goal of building muscle. To do that, I need to eat properly and work hard for a longer period of time than I've allowed myself in the past. When you're used to being pretty shredded for the majority of the year, it can be a bit of a mind game to allow yourself to gain a bit of weight on order to grow....