So my boy just invited me to a wedding, and...I think he may be marrying a brah.

[newleaseonlife]

I have a feeling this is going to end very badly...

You and me both. He's always been impulsive, and always get's hurt for it...I know he just wants someone, and this person is telling him all the right things. He says he has a clear head, but I don't see it.

[gjames017]

Wait she's 29 and a virgin?? Filipinos are religious but I mean...they aren't puritans from 1600's. I cannot believe they have only kissed and he wants to fuking marry her.

Worst case:
-Ladyboy who sees young sailor as the golden ticket to America and human ATM for her most probably broke-ass family back in the philippines, somehow convinces him she's a virgin at 29 and only lets him kiss her.

Best case:
-Non-sloot ultra-religious female (that he met where? at a club or bar? lul) who looks like a tranny.

[gixxer0.6g]

[newleaseonlife]

Well, when he calls you on the night of his honeymoon in tears, just take him out for a beer and hold back the I told you so's. It's gonna be a traumatizing event for him I imagine. Kind of like how rich's gif just makes you


But x 1,000,000 and on an emotional level

You're right, it's not my life, I can't dictate what is or isn't par for the course, but I will be there for him...


Bruh...I pushed that out of my memory,and you just had to bring it back...

[DerKommander]

Why can't you just be happy for him OP?

This is 2015.

[newleaseonlife]

Wait she's 29 and a virgin?? Filipinos are religious but I mean...they aren't puritans from 1600's. I cannot believe they have only kissed and he wants to fuking marry her.

Worst case:
-Ladyboy who sees young sailor as the golden ticket to America and human ATM for her most probably broke-ass family back in the philippines, somehow convinces him she's a virgin at 29 and only lets him kiss her.

Best case:
-Non-sloot ultra-religious female (that he met where? at a club or bar? lul) who looks like a tranny.

He met her at a bar, and she's saying all the right things. For instance he says she let him bring up the "green card" option. She hasn't been pressuring him, but has "always wanted to live in the states". There are other questions I want to ask, but he signed off hard as fuk on me.

[newleaseonlife]

Why can't you just be happy for him OP?

This is 2015.

I can be happy for him if I know his thing is asian ladyboys...Since I know (or think he's heterosexual) I doubt he's going to be stoked about being smacked in the face with a d1nk the first time he's intimate with a woman he's planning on marrying.

[gjames017]

He met her at a bar, and she's saying all the right things. For instance he says she let him bring up the "green card" option. She hasn't been pressuring him, but has "always wanted to live in the states". There are other questions I want to ask, but he signed off hard as fuk on me.

oh lawd, keep us updated

[newleaseonlife]

IN THE NAVY: "that's ridiculous...HOW DARE YOU CALL MY SWEET JUNKETTA A TRANSSEXUAL!! You are uninvited from my lovely wedding, never speak to me again."

*wedding night*

JUNKETTA: "baby i am virgin. my vagin v small and delicate he he he. tonight we do bum bum??"

IN THE NAVY: "oh excellent!!!!"

*6 months later*

IN THE NAVY: "darling...um...we've been married for 6 months and we only do anal....can we..."

JUNKETTA: "um....yes..but period now...um..."

IN THE NAVY: "oh ok then"

*IN THE NAVY passes OP on the street*

"Fuark you OP, you *******...I have a wonderful marriage to a beautiful woman...screw you for trying to be a homewrecker...burn in hell."

LOL'D hard as fuk...he signed off on me for being too intrusive, so I already know a marriage halting contest will be the end of our friendship.

[newleaseonlife]

oh lawd, keep us updated

I will brah...knowing him he's going to avoid me for about a week or two, then I can re-engage.

[exyl]

I can be happy for him if I know his thing is asian ladyboys...Since I know (or think he's heterosexual) I doubt he's going to be stoked about being smacked in the face with a d1nk the first time he's intimate with a woman he's planning on marrying.

Well, you have probably planted a seed of suspicion if he suddenly went NC on you. Rightfully suspicious, btw.. This isn't a matter to be taken lightly, so hopefully he treads more carefully now. He's probably doing this.

"OP is crazy. Dinklady is perfect in every way"

"But taht is weird about that green card thing"

"And why is she taking such slutty pics if she's a Virgin"

"Man but OP wouldn't tell me this unless he was really concerned-!but NO! It has to be a girl cause I kissed her and I ain't gay!"

"Maybe I should ask my dinklady more questions before I talk to OP again"

[DerKommander]

I can be happy for him if I know his thing is asian ladyboys...Since I know (or think he's heterosexual) I doubt he's going to be stoked about being smacked in the face with a d1nk the first time he's intimate with a woman he's planning on marrying.

Leave him to make his own mistakes. He's a grown adult.

I take it he is compos mentis mentally?

If so he already probably suspects he's about to marry a guy and get a face full of balls and d!ck on his wedding night.

[exyl]

Leave him to make his own mistakes. He's a grown adult.

I take it he is compos mentis mentally?

If so he already probably suspects he's about to marry a guy and get a face full of balls and d!ck on his wedding night.

The ladyboy won't reveal its dink until after it has the green card. Then (if it doesn't leave op friend) it will hold off sex until it goes full Bruce Jenner mode, once the castration occurs.

[newleaseonlife]

Well, you have probably planted a seed of suspicion if he suddenly went NC on you. Rightfully suspicious, btw.. This isn't a matter to be taken lightly, so hopefully he treads more carefully now. He's probably doing this.

"OP is crazy. Dinklady is perfect in every way"

"But taht is weird about that green card thing"

"And why is she taking such slutty pics if she's a Virgin"

"Man but OP wouldn't tell me this unless he was really concerned-!but NO! It has to be a girl cause I kissed her and I ain't gay!"

"Maybe I should ask my dinklady more questions before I talk to OP again"

i've known this guy for 20 years, and he's never gone straight NC on me like that. We've had fights where we have our cooling off periods, but for him to do this, and not come back shows he's in some deep thought, and rightfully so. He's way too stupid with women, I've seen him cheated on, verbally abused (manlet time), disregarded, and just keeps on coming back. One part of me hopes he'll listen, but another part of me knows he's a stubborn SOB who wont learn until he has a d1nk resting on his forehead.

[newleaseonlife]

Leave him to make his own mistakes. He's a grown adult.

I take it he is compos mentis mentally?

If so he already probably suspects he's about to marry a guy and get a face full of balls and d!ck on his wedding night.

That's the point if I can help you to avoid something catastrophic I will. It is my duty as not only a friend, but a human being. You and I are complete strangers, but If I saw a nail under your tire I'd tell you, instead of letting you pull off only to be stranded down the road. He's better than this...he deserves better.

[DerKommander]

i've known this guy for 20 years, and he's never gone straight NC on me like that. We've had fights where we have our cooling off periods, but for him to do this, and not come back shows he's in some deep thought, and rightfully so. He's way too stupid with women, I've seen him cheated on, verbally abused (manlet time), disregarded, and just keeps on coming back. One part of me hopes he'll listen, but another part of me knows he's a stubborn SOB who wont learn until he has a d1nk resting on his forehead.

He might just open up his kisser and let that shiny knob in anyway bro.

Ever thought about that?

Then he and the dudebro can feltch and cottage each other forever and ever until death they do part.

[white_pele]

so did you hint at ladyboy thing?

[Dee9191]

That's the point if I can help you to avoid something catastrophic I will. It is my duty as not only a friend, but a human being. You and I are complete strangers, but If I saw a nail under your tire I'd tell you, instead of letting you pull off only to be stranded down the road. He's better than this...he deserves better.

Just say "hey, I'm sorry but I know a lot of people who have been burned with similar stories like yours. I'm just looking out for you even when you don't want me too"

You already planted the idea (inception.jpg) so he's going to def be skeptical

[newleaseonlife]

He might just open up his kisser and let that shiny knob in anyway bro.

Ever thought about that?

Then he and the dudebro can feltch and cottage each other forever and ever until death they do part.

Nope, because as far as I know he's never been entertained at the thought of shoving a spring roll down his throat.

so did you hint at ladyboy thing?

I started becoming more intrusive with the questioning, and he dipped... I asked him if he thought not even seeing her(naked) or not progressing with the intimacy threw off any red flags, and that's when he went NC.

[newleaseonlife]

Just say "hey, I'm sorry but I know a lot of people who have been burned with similar stories like yours. I'm just looking out for you even when you don't want me too"

You already planted the idea (inception.jpg) so he's going to def be skeptical

My wife sent me a text saying the same thing. I might have came on a little aggressive, and maybe I could send him a note detailing my concerns. I thought with our history I could just tell it like it is, but I guess with matters of the heart you have to be a bit more sensitive.

[Dxohamah]

Dude, he's your bro. If he doesn't have a strong father figure in his life there's really noone else thats going to be straight to him about his potential phuck-ups.

Don't tell us this chit How is that going to help him? Everything in this thread you should be telling him. Just give it to him straight. Hell, even if it was guaranteed that she was a chick, why is he in such a rush to marry her/him/it.

If he's only stationed there, I doubt he's known him/her/it for no more than 6 months. Thats not enough time to marry someone even if she was a legitimate hot chick.

If he wants to marry that he seems like one desperate schmuck. TBH, this really isn't funny because this can potentially ruin his entire life.

and if he's dead-set on marrying this "thing" then you should at least tell him to postpone until he knows more about "he/she/it" Its not like we're living in the 1940's and he'll never see him/her/it again, there's phone texting and the internet. There's really no rush here.

[Dxohamah]

She is way too small to have ever been a man IMO

you must not live around many asians, especially a non-american/"fob" asians. They can be pretty damn small (yes, even the males).

[newleaseonlife]

Dude, he's your bro. If he doesn't have a strong father figure in his life there's really noone else thats going to be straight to him about his potential phuck-ups.

Don't tell us this chit How is that going to help him? Everything in this thread you should be telling him. Just give it to him straight. Hell, even if it was guaranteed that she was a chick, why is he in such a rush to marry her/him/it.

If he's only stationed there, I doubt he's known him/her/it for no more than 6 months. Thats not enough time to marry someone even if she was a legitimate hot chick.

If he wants to marry that he seems like one desperate schmuck. TBH, this really isn't funny because this can potentially ruin his entire life.

I'm not laughing, and I have told him this, I just know how he is, and I needed to keep him level enough to get it out. One I pushed he dropped straight off. I'm gonna give it a few hours, and send him a note...He's in a rush because the dude has never had anything resembling "love" and he wants it more than anything. Most of our conversations are about failed relationship matters. I think he's blinded because for the first time he feels in control of his relationship. It's going where he wants, and that's marriage. His father is around, but to be honest he's probably one of the biggest pushovers you'll ever meet. His mother is queen b1tch and I mean this with the utmost sincerity. She left his father after 40 years of marriage (once he got laid off from Ford) and immediately shacked up with another man. I hope what we did talk about resonates and he actually puts some thought into it. Schmuck is a good word...He joined the navy because he needed to get away...he was running, and this is what happens when you run.

[newleaseonlife]

I think she is an actual woman, but she must be a butterface under all that makeup.

Did he bother asking who the guy in bed with her is, unless that is your buddy? (Is that a bed or a sofa? Now I am not sure)

When I was younger, I used to work in a movie theater near an army base. There was always some homesick chump who married the first girl who gave him a blow job. The navy is probably no different. A friend of mine was in the navy, and there was always some moron who married an Asian or Filipino girl. You could try all you wanted to convince them otherwise but it never worked. It wasn't even hard to wife one either. He said he would go in the bars in the Philippines and the girls would basically just walk up to him and ask him to marry them. He still has a cocktail napkin one girl used to propose. He knew better though.

All you can do is tell him he is making a huge mistake, and the girl is using him and, as much as it might make you look like a dick to do this, tell him you will not be coming to the wedding for those reasons.

no, that is not him. It may be a cultural thing but I've never ever seen a virgin wearing a halter, daisy dukes, and fuk me boots.

[blackbull2k13]

Wait he is about to marry someone he has never had sex with? Even if that is a dude the worst part of this story is how much of a loser he is.

[Dxohamah]

he's not white...he's a dark skinned black guy.

wow really? The plot thickens....I didn't think asian chicks liked us......unless this "chick" is actually a dude.

[StongEverything]

I was in the navy brah and pretty much been to every Asian country.
That's either
1. A tranny
2. A straight up hooker
3. Or a buy me drink girl that's pretty much a hooker

I'm leaning towards 1. Srs

[TexasMajor]

S(he) trynna get dat citizenship, comrade.

[newleaseonlife]

wow really? The plot thickens....I didn't think asian chicks liked us......unless this "chick" is actually a dude.

It really depends...Cali Asians will literally fuk anything. The Asians I see up here wont even look at you unless you're [insert Asian country here]. He's also 5'4", so it's not like he's some imposing presence you can't ignore. It's something fuked up here, and I don't want to put my finger on it.

[newleaseonlife]

Wait he is about to marry someone he has never had sex with? Even if that is a dude the worst part of this story is how much of a loser he is.

he's not a loser, he's just a manlet.