"Wardrobe Malfunctions" at work?

[-=FLEX=-]

Last week we got a new APC UPS for the Server with a spare battery. Sumbitch was heavy as hell and lying flat in an oversized box packed in tight syrofoam. Our IT guy is a kinda skinny so I figured I'd unpack it and get it all ready for him, so I got in a sumo stance and as I am lifting this fakking thing I split the seam in my pants. Wasn't real bad, but bad enough. Stayed in my office the rest of the afternoon.

Today I go to take a piss and my zipper got stuck and I forced it and broke the zipper. FFS!

I'm wearing a casual dress shirt untucked so it's not the end of the world, but still.

I guess I'm going shopping for new dress pants...

Anyone else got "Wardrobe Malfunction" stories to share? I can't be the only one...



Oh, and inb4 the fat jokes...

[ChazWood]

Was it the frank or the beans?

[gixxer0.6g]

Was it the frank or the beans?

Always thought it was just in the movies until it happened in my bathroom. I wasn't laughing this time.

[blkbelt42]

sumo stance for a 50 lb. battery? Most it could of been was close to 100 lbs. if
it housed 2 cells.

[tomnationwide]

I have big thighs. I was in a tight pair of jeans one day, made tight by my fat ass of course. We were having an office competition. I'm the VP of the company and the folks thought it would be great to see if I could jump and touch the ceiling. SO I said what the hell. I started chanting, motivating, blah blah blah...bent to jump and instead of the seam of my butt ripping the side of my pants exploded and boom. There's my leg. Luckily I'm not ashamed or shy so I laughed harder than everyone else at myself.

[Kaflaful]

<------ OP

Also by the way I have had issues before...I put a 150lbs girl on my shoulders at a fair once by squatting down and then standing up with her up there. The whole seat of my pants exploded...in the middle of winter no less.

[paolo59]

LOL I never have ripped the seam in my pants. I do have a problem with socks though. I don't know if it's the age thing, my eyesight, but I have a difficult time distinguishing colors in artificial light. Blue looks black, black looks blue. I've showed up to work any number of days with mismatched socks. I guess I ought to pair them up correctly after doing the laundry instead of just throwing them willy-nilly in a drawer. I have to take the suckers to the window, pull back the curtains...

It's certainly not a serious 'malfunction,' but you feel like a complete idiot regardless!

[StressMonkey]

One day when I got home from work and was taking off my pants I noticed that I had a split seam in my butt. I have no idea how I didn't notice that or how long it was like that.

[ArchAngel'73]

G/F had bought me new work clothes.
Working with a troubled teen, playing basketball outside with him after it had rained.
I went for a lay up and slipped into a pool of muddy water face first.

My kid was teh hardcore. I was 1/2 expecting him to stomp me on the ground...but instead he helps me save face and walks inside the unit
and then
he laughs his ass off until I come in the door.


I was impressed with him.
Had my gym clothes in my duffle bag for after work and changed into them.

[Dr.Griefo]

As I was sitting down in my office chair, pocket of pants got caught in the arm rest (style of chair below)and tore the front pocket half off. Had a meeting coming up. Thought about tearing it completely off, taping it up but settled for just going on in like nothing happened. No one said anything. Happened again a couple months later so ordered a new office chair with different arms.

[mslman71]

As I was sitting down in my office chair, pocket of pants got caught in the arm rest (style of chair below)and tore the front pocket half off. Had a meeting coming up. Thought about tearing it completely off, taping it up but settled for just going on in like nothing happened. No one said anything. Happened again a couple months later so ordered a new office chair with different arms.

[img]http://www.bombayharbor.com/productImage/0535199001245223163/Office_Chair_939.JPG[img]

^ Staples are your friend

[LisaSkinnoble]

Once my heel got caught in the hem of my pants and I had to staple the hem back. I was wearing a black suit too. Board of Directors and EMT were all in for Board and Board Committee meetings. I still hope no one noticed.

And one time years ago, I had lost a button on my blouse, leaving a rather revealing neckline, and I had not noticed. I was rushing down Bay Street to catch my train and the homeless guy outside of Union Station who shuffles around in his bathrobe and rambles to himself all day long suddenly looked right at me and broke into song: "June is bustin' out all over!"

[Dr.Griefo]

^ Staples are your friend

Never thought of that. Repped.

[Phattso]

Intercom: "Mr. Flex, please report to HR for a discussion on your wardrobe. Thanks a bunch."

First question: "Everything going ok at home, buddy? Any reason you would wear pants like that to work?"

[lochinvar76]

I work in IT and at one point I was slipping around the back of a punch panel to connect a new pair of cables. I hadn't noticed the jagged screw point sticking out of a board and I wound up ripping a gaping hole across the front of my slacks. I untucked my shirt and went with tails hanging out but I was very thankfully my slacks, underwear and shirt were all dark that day... were it a white shirt I might not have been able to hide it very well....

[-=FLEX=-]

sumo stance for a 50 lb. battery?

Wasn't the weight that required the sumo stance.

The box was massive; I couldn't grab the thing with two hands by standing on one side of the box because I couldn't reach the other side, so I straddled the box.


They were like this:

[-=FLEX=-]

And one time years ago, I had lost a button on my blouse, leaving a rather revealing neckline, and I had not noticed. I was rushing down Bay Street to catch my train and the homeless guy outside of Union Station who shuffles around in his bathrobe and rambles to himself all day long suddenly looked right at me and broke into song: "June is bustin' out all over!"

Pics or it didn't happen.

[Get-n-fit]

Happened today- stuck my wallet in my pants and the corner of the back pocket ripped out and left a big hole in my pants....pretty sure the preasure my big a$$ already puts on my pants had something to do with it also. Now sitting at work with a hole in my pants. oh well.

[blkbelt42]

Wasn't the weight that required the sumo stance.

The box was massive; I couldn't grab the thing with two hands by standing on one side of the box because I couldn't reach the other side, so I straddled the box.


They were like this:

yeah, all packed like that and they're a mutha to get a grip on. we use those rack
mount APC's for many of our clients.

[Zoosh]

is this gonna be one of those " i'm so swole my pants don't fit right" threads? Sorry...I just had to take the shot.

Tore the back seam of my dark suit pants at Church bending over at the front of the sanctuary with the rear aimed at the crowd. Brightly coloured animal print undies..lay bare to the world. What was seen could not be unseen!! Nor has it been forgotten.

[djflex]

After a long nite of binge drinking i forgot my pants and showed up in boxers and a dress shirt...

[danap3681]

Does getting to work and realizing your forgot to put on your panties count when you never ever go commando????



















Didn't actually happen but I have broken my favorite high heel shoes at work but that's it.

Sucks I have no good story to tell

[justboo2u]

Depends upon if anybody noticed.

LOL I never have ripped the seam in my pants. I do have a problem with socks though. I don't know if it's the age thing, my eyesight, but I have a difficult time distinguishing colors in artificial light. Blue looks black, black looks blue. I've showed up to work any number of days with mismatched socks. I guess I ought to pair them up correctly after doing the laundry instead of just throwing them willy-nilly in a drawer. I have to take the suckers to the window, pull back the curtains...

It's certainly not a serious 'malfunction,' but you feel like a complete idiot regardless!

... and this is why I NEVER buy work socks UNLESS they're black... and I DO COMPARE. If I have managed to screw da pooch, I throw them away. Srs.
MY problem is buying 'long' socks and then mismatching the 'long' with the 'short'...

As I was sitting down in my office chair, pocket of pants got caught in the arm rest (style of chair below)and tore the front pocket half off. Had a meeting coming up. Thought about tearing it completely off, taping it up but settled for just going on in like nothing happened. No one said anything. Happened again a couple months later so ordered a new office chair with different arms.

This qualifies more as an ASSAULT to me!

Ive come very close to doing this... and we have TRULY CHEAP seats in our section... Havent actually done it YET tho!

is this gonna be one of those " i'm so swole my pants don't fit right" threads? Sorry...I just had to take the shot.

Tore the back seam of my dark suit pants at Church bending over at the front of the sanctuary with the rear aimed at the crowd. Brightly coloured animal print undies..lay bare to the world. What was seen could not be unseen!! Nor has it been forgotten.

Close enuf.... till now!

Mine isn't so much a 'wardrobe malfunction' as a wardrobe ALLERGY to pasta sauce... splattered very discreetly on a WHITE SHIRT while eating lunch. Noticed it, naturally, about 1/2 way thru. Trashed the remainder, got out the hand soap and managed to clean it up enough to work for the remaining 'low light' conditions... In fact it just went back to the branch office. Could still see the grease spots.

HATE doing that!

[cowboybiker]

Worst malfunction for me is ripping my boxers leaping over tall buildings and sh!t

[danap3681]

Worst malfunction for me is ripping my boxers leaping over tall buildings and sh!t

Thought you sported thongs? You lied to me CBB!

[cowboybiker]

Thought you sported thongs? You lied to me CBB!

Only for my selfies.

Banana hammocks can be unforgiving

[djflex]

Only for my selfies.

Banana hammocks can be unforgiving

So its true... You has the ghey

[cowboybiker]

So its true... You has the ghey

I caught it from unprotected miscing

[djflex]

I caught it from unprotected miscing

Oh boy, i better be careful

[danap3681]

Only for my selfies.

Banana hammocks can be unforgiving

You should try the Angel Collection from Victorias Secret. Soft and seamless. No grating on the ass and would guarantee no hurt on the cod sack!