Leave girlfriend over credit card debt?

[gainmusclefast]

So I made a thread about this before when she had around 20k debt. We were together 2 and a half years. She always asked me to get married and I would tell her not until you get that debt under control.

Now she has ramped it up to 32k. I finally broke up with her. She is begging me to take her back and says she is gonna fix it and get a second job on the side(she is an accountant and makes 50k a year).

I am also planning to join the Airforce at the end of the year. So the only way I could take her with me is if we get married. Which I am afraid to do because of her debt.

As of right now we aren't together and I am staying at my parents until I leave for the Airforce. Should I stay single? Thanks!

Other reasons to stay/go:
She is definitely bi polar
She is Crazy
She is madly in love with me
Head game is weak sauce
Is very lazy

[LukeS1]

She'll probably never change at this point, the habits are too strong. You need to decide if you can live with it or not, and it sounds like a no to me. When married your finances are intertwined whether you have a joint account or not, you need some level of compatibility on a financial level

[andrewwkdude]

wow thats a lot of debt. How did she get into that situation? Can she move back in with her parents for a year or 2 and just put all her finances into paying it off. The interest alone is probably hard enough.

[hoganrulz]

if you were with her and married her example and the house and car was on your name and not jointly owned, and her credit card debt was her credit card debt and you didnt have a joint account and she says hes going to fix it, whats the issue?

is it a situation where you feel as though you may end up being emotionally blackmailed to pay it off or help her out for her which means she doesnt learn the lesson>?

wouldnt being with her help in this since you could give her daily input =/take control of her finances?

[krawZe]

leave her before she becomes a drain on your wallet and mental state too

[gainmusclefast]

wow thats a lot of debt. How did she get into that situation? Can she move back in with her parents for a year or 2 and just put all her finances into paying it off. The interest alone is probably hard enough.

She is actually living with her mom and still has this crazy debt. She just buys everything. 10+ Michael Kors purses. Like 30+ Victoria secret matching gym outfits. A 3k mac computer still sitting in the box 6 months later.

[gainmusclefast]

you did the right decision, definitely DO NOT marry her

you making this thread and asking this question makes me doubt your common sense srs

I think it's because it's my longest relationship and I care about her

[andrewwkdude]

She is actually living with her mom and still has this crazy debt. She just buys everything. 10+ Michael Kors purses. Like 30+ Victoria secret matching gym outfits. A 3k mac computer still sitting in the box 6 months later.

wow. ummmmm that be stressful to deal with. I hate to talk ill of someone I dont know. But thats alarming behavior. If shes crazy, bipolar, gives bad head (which means she doesnt care to get better) i wouldnt bother with her anymore

[2thTEE82]

She sounds financially irresponsible as fuk so major props to you for ending the relationship before she even had the chance to become a financial burden on you too (let's be real here - if you both actually got married, she'd EXPECT you to also help pay off her debt too).

[Serenadium]

32k debt LMFAO

I cant even imagine how you get it up that high.

What is she spending her money on?

[davik]

itll take her 3-4 years to pay that off if no one else supports her, with good discipline. so that means ull be paying it off or itll get delayed by another 5

[LukeS1]

It sounds like you head wants to do it but you are emotionally finding it hard to let go, and are looking for us to convince you to do it. Deep down you know shes not right for you and is holding you back, it'll be tough but worth it in the long run

[HMFIC_BROWSIN]

Holy chit. 32k....

If she's over the age of 24 and still can't figure it out, she never will. $50k income is enough that she should have stacks in savings.... What a mess.

[gainmusclefast]

She sounds financially irresponsible as fuk so major props to you for ending the relationship before she even had the chance to become a financial burden on you too (let's be real here - if you both actually got married, she'd EXPECT you to also help pay off her debt too).

She claims our money would stay separate if we got married. And we would keep paying everything 50/50

But with me joining the military I definitely feel like maybe she thinks I'm her ticket to getting out of debt?

[MBisonSon]

Didn't read but of course I could leave a chick over **** like debt.

I'm not even so much worried about the debt as I am the bad habits that led to that point.

[nvrstopworking]

She is actually living with her mom and still has this crazy debt. She just buys everything. 10+ Michael Kors purses. Like 30+ Victoria secret matching gym outfits. A 3k mac computer still sitting in the box 6 months later.

Yeah... not sure why you'd even be considering tying the knot with her in light of this. Those are CRAZY spending habits on $50k/yr.

You don't want any part of that.

[aaron501]

doesn't sound like wife material.


run away

[gainmusclefast]

She is about to turn 33

[achillesbruh]

das gonna be a no for me dawg.

[MBisonSon]

Holy chit. 32k....

If she's over the age of 24 and still can't figure it out, she never will. $50k income is enough that she should have stacks in savings.... What a mess.

Bro I make less than $50K and can EASILY, comfortably save $12-15K per year.

[Ozzieturk]

In this equal world we live in where women work now, would they marry a man that is in debt off 32k while being 33, no house, no nothing? That's a first class loser.

**** that. Go NC

[Retoaded]

She is about to turn 33

bruh....

how did she put the debt on? A series of bad events? i.e. trip to emergency room, HVAC unit broke = 10k right there


or because she has bad habits and can't stop shopping?


if its the habits, then she is not going to change. I am not sure if you are aware of this, but a classic symptom of bipolar disorder is spending money without regard to consequences. I had an old boss with that problem. Ran his company into the ground.

[gainmusclefast]

She would just buy everything she wants as far as clothes and what not. She likes to run marathons and would book flights and hotels and do trips several times a year. She was planning to do this Disney trip/cruise/run at the end of this year which would cost her 3k+ and if I went 2k+

[mgftp]

The is one simple question. Do you deserve a woman who has her finances in order? Not every guy offers a package where they can pick and choose like that, but if you do don't even consider her.

First girl I lived with couldn't get her spending under control. Left her, found new woman and now living the life in pretty good financial shape, living mortgage free.

If you are a guy with something to offer there are an infinite number of women out there to choose from, don't settle.

[zknarc]

An accountant making $50k at 33
An accountant $32k in credit card debt aka the worst way to borrow money ever
How much student loan debt etc. does she have on top?

Run for the f'ing hills matey. Some people get into debt because they are just thick but an accountant? She needs professional help srs.

[MBisonSon]

Even if $32K is too much to have in debt, where are the priorities?

OP just mentioned some like $10K worth of stuff she has that's basically useless.

Or in other words she has $10K of materialistic possessions laying around that could have easily went to pay down her debt.

The debt isn't even the problem, it's the bad habits that are perpetuating those problems.

[gainmusclefast]

She just bought 2 German shepherds for $1,200 and is feeding them this super expensive food like $50 every 2 weeks? And she wants a baby within 2 years

[Pisdauf]

lmao wtf. I pay my CC bill in full every month and still start sweating when I check the balance halfway through. I'm assuming you're younger than her too?

[Comstarr]

I can't stress this enough....

****ING RUN.

There is absolutely NO reason, apart from either student debt, a mortgage, or a business loan, that a person should be 32k in debt while making $50k/year in, what I assume to be, her mid-20's.

At this point it's an addiction to her, she doesn't care about the debt, all she cares about is the instant gratification from shopping.
Would you marry a gambling addict?
What about a hardcore drug addict?
Obviously you ****ing wouldn't because you'd be too afraid of them selling all the chit in your god damn house behind your back.
A shopping addiction is no different.

[gainmusclefast]

She has like 70k+ in student loans which she is never going to pay off. So if you include her car, credit cards and school it's like 120k+ in debt