My Original Plan Was to Lift All of the Heavy Things

[itsagoodday]

Sorry I haven't replied to everyone above. This week has been beyond horrible. My mom's behavior deteriorated rapidly over a matter of days, and on the advice of her oncologist, I had to have her hospitalized against her will. She absolutely would not go voluntarily. It took 2 1/2 hours from the time I first tried to get her to go to the hospital just with me, to finally getting her into an ambulance. Ultimately it took a doctor and nurse from a mobile mental health crisis unit, 3 EMTs, 4 police officers, and for her to be placed under a mental health arrest. She is still at the hospital. They have been doing a lot of testing for physical causes, and nothing has shown up yet. She still needs to be tested by a psychiatric team. So far we've had one doctor say it sounds like delirium, one doctor say it sounds like the cancer spread to her brain, and one doctor say it sounds like a mental illness. Well... it's one of those three things, and I guess nobody agrees on which one it's likely to be.

One extra side note of all of this is that she needs to be declared mentally stable for them to do chemo on her. She was supposed to start chemo next Tuesday, but that isn't going to happen. As to whether they will be able to stabilize her enough to ever do chemo on her, I do not know. Without it, her life expectancy may be very short. Although if she does NOT regain her mental competency, perhaps that is for the best, because she has no quality of life right now.

And for anyone reading this, if you ever know someone who is suffering a mental crisis to the extent that they are lost in a different reality, are not competent enough to care for themselves, or are a danger to themselves or others, your state will have a procedure that allows for them to be hospitalized involuntarily for their own good. Call a hospital, call a mental health facility, call a crisis hotline, or just plain dial 911, they will all know what to do and will help.

[lazyaj]

Sorry to hear about this. Talk about a rough situation only getting rougher! Been there with the involuntary commitment in my family, it was a tough process.

Sending all the positive thoughts I can muster. Your mother is so lucky to have you in her corner through this, whether or not she is aware of it. <3

[SophieM]

I'm sorry things are so difficult right now. I hope the doctors can figure out what's going on so at least a plan can be developed.

[thehobbes]

Oh man, that's terrible for everyone involved. Hugs to you IAGD, thinking about you and your family.

[anandagirl]

(((HUGS))) that blows so much. Sending you lots of love and strength, and fingers crossed it gets better soon xoxoxo

[VO2Maxima]

Aw damn, girl. I'm so sorry to hear this. Take care, you and your family are in my thoughts. Hoping for the best for you and your mom.

[LunaLifts]

I'm really sorry. I know no one wants to do that, but it is for her own well being that she get the care she needs, whether she's capable of making that decision herself or not. Wishing the best for you both, and that they can do something for her that will help her regain some clarity.

[itsagoodday]

My mom is now inpatient in a psychiatric ward. It's a full lock down unit, and it's pretty bad. She is pretty heavily medicated, has to stay for a minimum of 3 days by law, and the psych docs have to clear her before she can return home. My brother and I are pushing for her to come home as soon as possible. If they do allow it, there will be a ton of rules and regulations that she and I will need to follow, including things like she cannot be left home alone at any time. My options are (1) leave her somewhere unpleasant and very scary for a sick little old lady or (2) bring her home and face a logistical nightmare. I want her to come home, but I am extremely overwhelmed. My brother has been in town since Saturday, but will likely be leaving tomorrow as he needs to take care of things at home. I have spent so much time with this, I haven't touched my own business since last Thursday. I'm going to try to do some catch-up work tonight and tomorrow morning. This whole thing is beyond words.

[LunaLifts]

I'm sorry, that's a hard decision to make Hopefully they make some progress with her mental health by then so she can come home, and be more clear headed over all. Including so she can get treatment soon too. **hugs**

[anandagirl]

Oh man Is there anyone else in the family that can help? I think you mentioned other relatives that need to start pulling their weight (((HUGS)))

[thehobbes]

Crap, sorry to hear it's gotten so serious. At least there are some professional medical people involved to assess the situation. That has to be awful to have her in that place but you had to do something for everyone's safety. Your bro is *somewhat* involved right now, I hope? If you mom has insurance is there an option to get an at home nurse to help you guys if she is cleared to come home with you? I imagine that kind of thing would be absurdly expensive if you had to pay out of pocket.

[SophieM]

I'm sorry to hear things are so bad. I hope some of your family can step up and do their share of helping out.

[itsagoodday]

Just in case anyone is dying of curiosity about the latest drama in my life...

My mom is still inpatient in the psych unit. However, she seems to be stabilizing on her medication and is certainly acting better than she was. I'm pushing for her to be released to me, but her psych doc and social worker are the ones who have to initiate the process, and the earliest they could even start to initiate that is Monday.

Side note. Having now spent many hours in a full security lock down psych ward, may I just say that I hope to never repeat the experience again. Not fun. I have had to get special permission to bring my mom... well... anything. Lots of restrictions, everything is subject to inspection and approval, sometimes by multiple departments. Some restrictions are obvious, like hey, don't bring sharp or stabby things in. The nurse said to me "look at it and say, could I kill myself with this? If not, don't bring it in." I'm like... oh. OK. So just when I thought I'd figured out what I could bring / not bring, they still managed to surprise me with a few of them. They freaked when I tried to bring her shampoo in a plastic bag. NO NO NO, NO PLASTIC BAGS! I'm like wtf? Oh, right, suffocation. And there was the underwire bra veto. And the dental floss restrictions (must be used under supervision of a nurse, who will pre-cut it to a specific length). Good grief. Don't get me started on when they told me I could bring in her meds and supplements from home to be approved by pharmacy, just to have them all returned to me two days later with a note that I could only bring in brand new, unopened bottles. Ya know, I understand where that's coming from, but you could have mentioned it two days ago. Like yes, I am trying to bring my 70 year old mother in ******* or rat poison or something.

Also, a side side note. I never realized how many common language expressions make reference to things being crazy or mad, until I'm trying not to say them because I'm standing in the middle of a bunch of patients in a psych ward. This has led me to say a number of brilliant things.

"Well, that's just crazy." became "Well, that's just cra... (fake cough)... great."
"I'm sure there's a method to the madness." became "I'm sure there's a method to the... (awkward pause)... process."

Yay, me. :facepalm:

On the plus side, the unit got much quieter when the resident screamer, a guy with both dementia and psychosis, was transferred elsewhere. This was after he punched a nurse in the face.

Good times.

[thehobbes]

Jeez, that sounds like trying to bring stuff into prison for an inmate. You know it's all because while 99% of people there aren't trying to do anything wrong, there's that one jackass who tries to sneak ******* into the KitKat bars, srs. Or one person in there who's waiting to get their hands on a floss pick so they can stab somebody in the eye. A bunch of grown people who are not in the right state of mind in one group like that is scary as hell. Punched in the face?! Would not want that job ever.

Hopefully she can get released in a couple days.

[itsagoodday]

Jeez, that sounds like trying to bring stuff into prison for an inmate. You know it's all because while 99% of people there aren't trying to do anything wrong, there's that one jackass who tries to sneak ******* into the KitKat bars, srs. Or one person in there who's waiting to get their hands on a floss pick so they can stab somebody in the eye. A bunch of grown people who are not in the right state of mind in one group like that is scary as hell. Punched in the face?! Would not want that job ever.

Hopefully she can get released in a couple days.

Yeah, it's very much like a prison. I have to get buzzed in through a locked door to enter the unit, sign in, lock up all my stuff including coat, phone, etc. in a locker, then get buzzed in through a second door to enter her wing. Anything I bring in for her gets scrutinized and itemized on a list. Only thing I can enter with is the clothes on my back and the key to their locker. They do head counts many times an hour, and room checks several times a day, looking for contraband and making sure nobody is dead or missing, I guess.

I will say a number of people in her wing are there because they're suffering from severe (read: suicidal) depression, and they're pretty quiet. It's upsetting to see how many seniors are there. The people come and go, but there's been consistently 4-6 patients I would classify as sweet little old ladies at any given time. And how many people are there who suffer from major medical conditions, like my mom, including multiple cancer patients and a younger girl who needs kidney dialysis. Is there a point where the body gives out and the mind follows sometimes? I don't know. It's all very sad.

[SophieM]

The unit she is on sounds very similar to where I work. We have locked double doors that can only be opened with a badge or key, belongings are searched and lots of "normal" things are contraband, no cell phones allowed on the unit, patient rounds/room checks, etc.

If you were in my state, the patient with dementia/psychosis would be on his/her way to my unit. That's what we specialize in, dementia with behavioral disturbance.

It's very strange to me that all the different age groups/diagnoses are on the same unit though.

All that said, I'm glad the medications seem to be helping. Have they decided on what's wrong?

[itsagoodday]

The unit she is on sounds very similar to where I work. We have locked double doors that can only be opened with a badge or key, belongings are searched and lots of "normal" things are contraband, no cell phones allowed on the unit, patient rounds/room checks, etc.

If you were in my state, the patient with dementia/psychosis would be on his/her way to my unit. That's what we specialize in, dementia with behavioral disturbance.

Wow, much respect to you, Sophie. I knew you worked with dementia patients, but did not realize you were also dementia/psych. That has to be one of the more difficult jobs on the planet, and also something that most people wouldn't even be willing to attempt. Honestly, this was the first time I've been around someone that far gone with dementia, and it's clearly a living hell for the poor guy. The staff was having a terrible time dealing with him, including things like hey keep your pants on and don't crap on the floor kind of stuff.

It's very strange to me that all the different age groups/diagnoses are on the same unit though.

Yeah, it's just a generic adult psychiatric unit, so it's a mix of everything and everyone. I know there are multiple wings that are kept separate from each other, but I think those are just generic mixes of people as well, like it doesn't sub-specialize any more than that.

One of the challenges with dementia guy was that the hospital only has the psych only unit / or a dementia only unit. For some reason they don't have a dementia/psych area (so he would have been better off where you work, too bad it's in a different state). They were trying him in the psych and it wasn't working out well. After he punched the nurse, they moved him to the dementia unit, as they do supposedly have more one-on-one oversight for patients there. He really needs someone with him 24/7.

All that said, I'm glad the medications seem to be helping. Have they decided on what's wrong?

They haven't drilled down to a specific diagnosis, but the drug she is responding well to is an anti-psychotic, so it's got to be something in that family of illnesses. Unfortunately, I had the opportunity to record her having numerous outbursts with my phone, and they're pretty damning as far as evidence goes. Her oncologist described her as being in an "altered reality", and that's as good a description for it as any. Obviously something went very, very wrong for her at some point, and I don't understand what happened. I have a lot of questions that haven't been answered yet.

[SophieM]

Wow, much respect to you, Sophie. I knew you worked with dementia patients, but did not realize you were also dementia/psych. That has to be one of the more difficult jobs on the planet, and also something that most people wouldn't even be willing to attempt. Honestly, this was the first time I've been around someone that far gone with dementia, and it's clearly a living hell for the poor guy. The staff was having a terrible time dealing with him, including things like hey keep your pants on and don't crap on the floor kind of stuff.

Psychosis/behavioral dyscontrol can accompany dementia. We normally don't get your cute little confused patients. We get the aggressive ones. They're not psychotic in the usual sense of the word. They are usually living at some other time point in their lives, maybe during a war, and they are interpreting their environment as being as that war zone. A stranger approaching them and physically touching them must mean they are being attacked by the enemy, I have to protect myself. It's the dementia, not a "true" psychosis if that makes sense. Or it could be as "simple" as them needing help to be cleaned up in the bathroom and feeling as though we are sexually assaulting them. Again, they have to protect themselves.

And yes, it's a living hell for all involved and adult onesies are a great thing to help them keep their clothes on. Though that hasn't stopped some of our patients. Urinating in the hallways isn't uncommon, though thankfully pooping in the hallways isn't as common. I've seen it happen though. You just shake you head, wait until they're finished, and help them get cleaned up. Then clean up the mess.

Yeah, it's just a generic adult psychiatric unit, so it's a mix of everything and everyone. I know there are multiple wings that are kept separate from each other, but I think those are just generic mixes of people as well, like it doesn't sub-specialize any more than that.

So strange to me. We have rather specific units, though our child and adolescent units are mixed. The adult ones are more specialized. One for psychosis, one for "crisis stabilization," one for dual diagnosis, etc.

One of the challenges with dementia guy was that the hospital only has the psych only unit / or a dementia only unit. For some reason they don't have a dementia/psych area (so he would have been better off where you work, too bad it's in a different state). They were trying him in the psych and it wasn't working out well. After he punched the nurse, they moved him to the dementia unit, as they do supposedly have more one-on-one oversight for patients there. He really needs someone with him 24/7.

A lot of us don't see dementia as true psych. It's a failing of the brain. Depending on how far along the patient is, it can take some heavy medication to keep the patient safe from harming themselves or others. It's a really fine line with some patients.

They haven't drilled down to a specific diagnosis, but the drug she is responding well to is an anti-psychotic, so it's got to be something in that family of illnesses. Unfortunately, I had the opportunity to record her having numerous outbursts with my phone, and they're pretty damning as far as evidence goes. Her oncologist described her as being in an "altered reality", and that's as good a description for it as any. Obviously something went very, very wrong for her at some point, and I don't understand what happened. I have a lot of questions that haven't been answered yet.

Not necessarily. Anti-psychotics are used for many things. We use them with dementia patients for aggressive behaviors. They use them in eating disorders for appetite stimulation (yes, this happened to me LOL).

I suppose they've already done an MRI and don't see any brain cancer? That seems like the easiest thing to rule out. It could very well be delirium from the stress of everything going on. Have they done a urinalysis? Older people can have drastic changes in mental status if they have a UTI.

If at any point I am overstepping or asking too many questions, just tell me to shut up I'm sure you have enough to contend with than to answer my questions which have probably already been addressed a zillion times. Or if PM would be better, I'm up for that too. I've been there done that with some of what you're going through and know how difficult it is to do alone. If there's anything I can do, let me know.

[itsagoodday]

Not necessarily. Anti-psychotics are used for many things. We use them with dementia patients for aggressive behaviors. They use them in eating disorders for appetite stimulation (yes, this happened to me LOL).

Her diagnosis is psychosis at this point though. My understanding is that will be drilled down to something more specific in outpatient counseling at a later date (schizophrenia, bipolar, OCD, whatever, I know it's an umbrella term that covers many possibilities).

I suppose they've already done an MRI and don't see any brain cancer? That seems like the easiest thing to rule out. It could very well be delirium from the stress of everything going on. Have they done a urinalysis? Older people can have drastic changes in mental status if they have a UTI.

She spent the first four days in the oncology unit, and they ran her through every test they could think of to find a physical reason for the behavior, and any sort of sign that it was linked to her cancer. They did a brain CT scan, which didn't show any cancer spread there, then followed up with a brain MRI to double check, but no signs of metastasis on that either. They said cancer patients can have thickened blood, so they did some tests to rule out clotting issues including a chest CT, and no problems there. They did blood tests checking for ammonia levels, since she does have a damaged liver (multiple cancer lesions and history of autoimmune hepatitis), but again she passed that test and her liver functionality in general was within normal parameters (!!!). They did do urinalysis, no problem there. There's probably some stuff I'm forgetting, but they tested a ton of stuff. The only things that showed up were (1) yes she has stage 4 colon cancer with metastasis to liver and spleen, which we already knew, (2) a consistently high pulse which was constantly shooting into the 120-130 range and setting off alarms the first two days, although that later dropped... still high, but not that high, and (3) all of the behaviors that earned her a psychosis diagnosis.

I'm having a very, very hard time with the theory that she developed stage 4 cancer AND a late onset mental illness, despite no previous history of mental illness, in a time frame that seems to indicate they happened pretty much simultaneously, but they have nothing to do with each other. Like, that makes no sense to me. At all. Either they are missing something, my mom is a medical mystery, or she has the sh*ttiest luck ever.

[SophieM]

I'm having a very, very hard time with the theory that she developed stage 4 cancer AND a late onset mental illness, despite no previous history of mental illness, in a time frame that seems to indicate they happened pretty much simultaneously, but they have nothing to do with each other. Like, that makes no sense to me. At all. Either they are missing something, my mom is a medical mystery, or she has the sh*ttiest luck ever.

I agree. I'd be leaning towards delirium, which can present as psychosis.

It's good that all the medical tests were negative. That's a high heart rate! Though I'm sure an answer would be nice at this point.

[itsagoodday]

I agree. I'd be leaning towards delirium, which can present as psychosis.

It's good that all the medical tests were negative. That's a high heart rate! Though I'm sure an answer would be nice at this point.

I thought delirium as well, but the psych people nixed that idea. They said some of what she was presenting wasn't consistent with delirium. I just don't know.

Yeah, the heart rate thing was really weird. It's still on the high side, hovering around 106ish. She has absolutely zero history of that, either.

-----------

So anyway, they're going to try to let her go home tomorrow. I say "try" because they have been known to change their mind at the last minute and keep people longer. But hopefully my mom will hold it together and get to come home. We're all keeping our fingers crossed. I'd love to say she'll be able to rest and relax when she gets home, but I've been fielding dozens of phone calls with different doctors and specialists that want appointments with her as soon as she's no longer inpatient. Outpatient psych scheduled her for for the crack of dawn the first morning she's home. I'm going to try to call and get them to move it back. Like for crying out loud, let her sleep the first morning home, she's been in the hospital for 11 days.

We have been able to arrange for a home health care visiting nurse service to keep tabs on her over the first few weeks. And turns out it's 100% covered by basic Medicare, thankyouverymuch.

And in other news, I made a sweet little old lady cry today. Because I waved and smiled when I saw her, and remembered her name. I felt terrible about it, so I went over and talked with her a while and tried to say some nice, positive things. I am constantly reminded that I have no idea what I'm doing over there. I also walked for a long time with a new addition to the unit, a girl who grabbed hold of my hand the second I entered the unit and wouldn't let go. A lot of what she was saying didn't make any sense, but I gather she is very young, very pregnant, and very alone. Her mom was going to help her raise the baby, but died suddenly, and she just completely lost her grip on reality. Dementia/psychosis guy also returned to the unit. The dementia unit couldn't handle him at all, so back he went to psych. However, he is no longer the loudest person in the unit, as we also picked up a woman who screams constantly for someone to please, please kill her. Going there is starting to make me feel like sh*t all the time, just utterly sad and powerless. I guess if you work there, at least you get to feel like you're helping people. I feel like I'm just going HI, wow your life sucks, okay BYE. Ugh.

[SophieM]

Wishing you the best. Do you still have family support there? I'm glad the home health nurse is covered.

Yes, working/being in psych is definitely not for everyone. A lot of people don't understand what it is that goes on behind those locked doors. I've been on both sides (patient and an employee) and the ones you are able to help really do make it all worth it.

[itsagoodday]

Wishing you the best. Do you still have family support there? I'm glad the home health nurse is covered.

My brother was in town for a while, but had to go back home and catch up on work and family since he left them quite suddenly to fly out here when she was first hospitalized. He's going to come back in a few weeks. The home health care agency is on the ball, geez she was only home for an hour and a half today when they showed up for their first visit! I'm glad of it though. They're really nice, and they can help with absolutely everything both medical and non-medical. They've also got a 24 hour emergency hotline with a nurse always on staff. If my mom ever had an issue in the middle of the night, I could call them, talk to a nurse, and even have her make a house call to assess the situation, rather than only having 911 and the ER to use as after-hours help.

Yes, working/being in psych is definitely not for everyone. A lot of people don't understand what it is that goes on behind those locked doors. I've been on both sides (patient and an employee) and the ones you are able to help really do make it all worth it.

Hats off to you, Sophie. I can see where it's the kind of thing where if you can help someone, it can completely change the course of their life. I think my biggest worry with visiting the psych unit was that I was going to say the wrong thing to someone, and make them feel worse. I may have done that a few times. Dammit. Although it occurs to me that some people are so disturbed, they would react negatively no matter what you say or don't say.

------------

So yeah, my mom is home. We're going to try to get her into six, count 'em, six, different doctors to do follow-up appointments within the next two weeks. Already set up with her GP, oncologist and outpatient psych. Need to set up with palliative care. And a neurologist. And hopefully an audiologist, as she admitted out of the blue this week that some days, and in some situations, she can barely hear anything. Oh. Well, that's not going to help her quality of life or mental state.

The neurologist is another surprise. This I just learned of today. The hospital was like "hey, make a follow-up with a neurologist about the Chiari malformation!" and I said "wait, the what????". It turns out that they *did* find something on her brain MRI, just not cancer, so nobody mentioned it to me previously. She has a structural defect at the base of her skull called Chiari malformation type 1. Basically, there's not quite enough space in her skull there, so it's jamming the bottom part of her brain into the top of her spinal cord. Um, whoops??? Interestingly enough, I've been googling it, and while psychiatric issues from Chiari would be rare, it isn't unheard of... I found several case studies linking it to psychotic behavior. Hmmmmm. I mean I've got to think that when your brain is being jammed into your spinal cord, bad things could occur. I'm genuinely hoping this is our smoking gun. For one thing, it looks like there's a surgery available to fix it

Maybe one of these days I could actually lift again, even.

[thehobbes]

That's much better news, glad your mom is home and there is a nurse coming over. Jeez that is a ton of doctors appointments all at once! Best of luck with that, I feel extremely accomplished if I can knock out two appointments for myself in a week, and then I'm like ahhh everybody leave me alone!

And in other news, I made a sweet little old lady cry today. Because I waved and smiled when I saw her, and remembered her name. I felt terrible about it, so I went over and talked with her a while and tried to say some nice, positive things. I am constantly reminded that I have no idea what I'm doing over there. I also walked for a long time with a new addition to the unit, a girl who grabbed hold of my hand the second I entered the unit and wouldn't let go. A lot of what she was saying didn't make any sense, but I gather she is very young, very pregnant, and very alone. Her mom was going to help her raise the baby, but died suddenly, and she just completely lost her grip on reality. Dementia/psychosis guy also returned to the unit. The dementia unit couldn't handle him at all, so back he went to psych. However, he is no longer the loudest person in the unit, as we also picked up a woman who screams constantly for someone to please, please kill her. Going there is starting to make me feel like sh*t all the time, just utterly sad and powerless. I guess if you work there, at least you get to feel like you're helping people. I feel like I'm just going HI, wow your life sucks, okay BYE. Ugh.

There isn't anybody that can fix some of this stuff but just having a friendly chat with somebody and listening to them can go a long way, you are a lovely person, srs.

[SophieM]

That's a lot of appointments! Hope everything goes well with them.

Glad the home health agency is on the ball. That's got to be a relief!

[anandagirl]

Glad she's home! And glad (?) that you might have an answer to why and can get it taken care of soon xoxoxo

[lazyaj]

Glad your mom is home, that must be a relief! Though also, a different kind of stress. xo

[LunaLifts]

Glad to hear she's responding to medication, it's a great start. Especially since the mental health medication merry-go-round can be a pain in the ass when trying to find what works best. Even better that she's clear to be home, with loved ones. While they do their best at hospitals, they can't be family, and friendlier home environment.

I understand the restrictions can be frustrating, especially if they don't tell you before you get there, but they really do have good reason. Consider that these people have seen some chit, a lot of chit that makes them on guard over even the seemingly harmless things. It's not just your mom, it's anyone who might get a hold of it. I could actually think of more than one way someone could hurt themselves or someone else with plastic bags (though some would require other tools).

[itsagoodday]

Well, my mom saw her oncologist today. She's been doing pretty good on her meds still. Since we don't have an unlimited amount of time, if she is going to do chemo, it needs to be asap. So they're going to try doing her first chemo session on Wednesday, and see how it goes.

Regarding the psych issues, her oncologist said sometimes stress can cause hormonal imbalances in our body, including our brain. He thinks maybe that is what happened to her, and she needed to go on meds to balance our her hormone levels for a while. I'm not sure I agree with this theory, for one thing it looks like her psych symptoms started before her cancer diagnosis. But... my mom felt good about that explanation, she is doing better on the meds, and she does need to start chemo soon. So I'm keeping my mouth shut and going with it.

The original goal with her chemo was to start out with every other week for 12 weeks. I asked if this was still the plan and her oncologist said "we're going to do it as long as she can take it", which sounds somewhat less optimistic.

Best case scenario is that the chemo makes her feel like sh*t (like it does for everyone), but she tolerates it and can keep it up for a reasonable amount of time, and in a few months, check ups show the cancer responding and shrinking back. Worst case scenario is she can't tolerate it at all, and there is also the possibility that she could have more psychotic episodes from it. One of the chemo drugs she is getting can cause them, so... I guess I'll just have to be extremely alert and wary. Her chemo sessions will involve an initial 5-6 hours at the cancer center, then being sent home with one of the drugs continuing to feed through her port for an additional 2 days. My brother is concerned that if she freaks out, she'll try to rip everything out of her chest at home. The oncologist also mentioned the exact same thing as one of his concerns today. I'm like that's great people, thanks for that thought. I'll just keep an eye on it then, shall I? Now I'm picturing the 911 call that would involve, like hi my mom is hallucinating and having a psychotic episode, she just ripped her chemo bag off and is trying to dig her surgically implanted port out of her chest, can you guys come out fast because she's bleeding and I'm restraining her??? Yup, so glad everyone mentioned that possibility.

I've been behind on my business stuff for the last two weeks with all this going on. I'm almost caught up, but not there quite yet. I've tried to explain to some of my customers that I had a major family medical emergency which is why I'm late with their projects. Most people have been very kind and understanding. A few people went out of their way to tell me what a horrible, incompetent person I am. Wow. Thanks.

Lifting? I don't even. Haven't for two weeks. I want to get caught up on my work first, before I take time out of my day for non- mission critical stuff. Maybe I can get back into it soon though, even if it's just little sessions in my home gym. I think part of it is that, for once, I really don't want to go to the gym. I have gym friends there who are going to ask how my mom is doing, and I just don't want to have to discuss the last few weeks with a bunch of people. I'm also finding that I'm much more likely to burst into tears when I'm talking about it in person, and I don't want to go into the gym just to sit on the floor and cry the entire time. So yeah, maybe I'll try to start doing some stuff in my home gym first.

Oh well. Next week will be as interesting as the last two have been, one way or another. We'll see how it goes.

[SophieM]

Sounds very stressful. Just remember to take care of yourself during all of this too.