Unsolicited advice in the gym...

[natalietatiana]

So I was at the gym today, halfway through my workout with my headphones in, minding my own business, when this guys walks up to me and says "umm, are you breathing when you're in the middle of your reps?" In my head, I'm just like who the hell are you and why are you talking to me? He's like "you should really try and focus on breathing and you'll be able to get 3-4 more reps, I guarantee it". I'm honestly not trying to be conceited but I know what I'm doing in the gym, and I'm really happy with my workouts and the results I'm seeing. This dude was like 20% + body fat with no real muscle and he's there doing barely 1/4 rep presses with 80lb dumbbells, dropping the weights loudly after each set like an idiot. I just feel like it's really rude to go up to someone you've never met before and give them unwanted advice. Most of all, I'm just mad at myself because I should have told the guy off but instead I just stood there like a little timid girl. Have you ladies ever gotten "advice" in the gym and how do you typically handle it?

[kimm4]

Nope never.

[BubsNBean]

Nope never.

This.

Maybe he was concerned you were going to pass out if it looked like you were holding your breath? Or maybe he was hitting on you. Could have been good intentions. Even if you think it's BS, you can just be polite and say, "thanks I'll keep that in mind" and go about your business. Great thing about ear buds is you can act like you don't hear people even if you do

[fitfanatic123]

yes.. the other day i was squatting in the squat rack and a guy came over and told me that i should do the leg press and hack squat machine instead of squats because squats are too taxing.... then the day after that i was doing dumbbell bench press and a guy told me i should do incline bench press to target the upper chest b/c flat bench press is for strength only (meanwhile this guy has no idea what my goals are)... i just politely say "oh yeah, maybe i'll try that next time". in these two instances it seemed like it was just genuine advice they were trying to pass on so i didn't feel a need to tell anyone off. i'm all for hearing new tips and advice too so unless it becomes harassment or annoying its no big deal to me

[lexalynne]

There are two types of advice in my opinion. The first is genuinely helpful, like if I have bad form or something and someone says something that is actually helpful. I would appreciate it, and then there is the other kind, which would irritate me, and that is someone who doesn't know what they're saying trying to come up and tell you how to lift. I resist the urge to say anything sometimes (like to the guy getting nowhere near parallel squatting in the smith machine in my gym which has no squat rack, sad not to have a squat rack).

[likeafish]

I never have. Never have given it in the gym either, but there's been a million times when I've wanted to.

With that said, was he suggesting you exhale during the concentric phase? Because that's good advice.

[RTrout18]

I've never had this happen, but I truly do wish that if someone sees me doing something wrong, especially something wrong enough to increase my risk of injury, then I would LOVE it if someone said something to me. If it's good advice and can help me out, I'd be grateful rather than offended.

[terar21]

I just smile and say "oh yeah? thanks!" Most of the time they mean no harm and are trying to help...even if it's wrong. I've actually had someone try to offer advice 3 times...nothing critical/bad...he's just SUPER friendly. Like one of the things he advised on was getting gloves because he noticed me shaking my hands furiously after I grip something (it's just a weird habit that half the time has nothing to do with my actual grip...just a nervous energy thing). I never took any advise he gave me so I think he gets the picture and we just smile and wave now.

If they're staring that hard, they must be 'mirin

[LunaLifts]

"umm, are you breathing when you're in the middle of your reps?"

"Nope, I hold my breathe for the whole set and pray I don't pass out." Lol.

[Artemis00]

"Nope, I hold my breathe for the whole set and pray I don't pass out." Lol.

Oh damn...the would kill me if I'm trying to max out my push up reps. LOL


Technically I guess I could say I've gotten unsolicited advice at the gym, but to be honest...if this guy gives you advice...you say thank you and take it especially since he rarely gives out advice unless you specifically ask.

[RTrout18]

Oddly enough, I got some for the first time today. I appreciated it, because I'm new and I'd rather nip any form issues I have in the bud rather than lift improperly for a long period of time and then have to try to re-train myself.

However... I am not sure what to think about the advice I got. The guy told me to sit back more when deadlifting, but I had just read that you want your hips to be a bit higher to activate your hams before you push through your heels.... ?????????

When I tried to heed his advice and begin in more of a sitting position, it seemed really awkward, and I felt like my shoulders had more of a tendency to roll forward -- and I think part of it was to avoid the bar hitting my legs.

[Partyrocking]

Oddly enough, I got some for the first time today. I appreciated it, because I'm new and I'd rather nip any form issues I have in the bud rather than lift improperly for a long period of time and then have to try to re-train myself.

However... I am not sure what to think about the advice I got. The guy told me to sit back more when deadlifting, but I had just read that you want your hips to be a bit higher to activate your hams before you push through your heels.... ?????????

When I tried to heed his advice and begin in more of a sitting position, it seemed really awkward, and I felt like my shoulders had more of a tendency to roll forward -- and I think part of it was to avoid the bar hitting my legs.

It sounds like you were better off as you were before. Some people do deadlift lower to the ground, so they can get their quads more into it, but depending on your leverages, you may end up with the bar crashing into your shin. I would keep your hips higher and hinge. I usually think about my glutes and not my hamstrings, but whatever works

[RTrout18]

It sounds like you were better off as you were before. Some people do deadlift lower to the ground, so they can get their quads more into it, but depending on your leverages, you may end up with the bar crashing into your shin. I would keep your hips higher and hinge. I usually think about my glutes and not my hamstrings, but whatever works

Thanks. I definitely feel that my form might need some improvement, particularly when it comes to keeping my lower back's natural curve...but beginning in more of a sitting position did not seem to work well for me. He told me to push up more through mid-foot... which is pretty much contradictory to everything I ever heard? Regardless, he's a super nice dude and I appreciated him looking out for me anyway

[Fiction2Fitness]

Once so far. Had a guy at random come over when I was at the end of my session and doing a few wrists curls to work on my wrist strength. He had to tell me that I didn't need to do it the way I was because I could use the top of an adjustable bench to rest my arm/wrist. Technically, he was right. I could do it that way. I just chose to sit down on a bench cause I spent all work shift on my feet followed by lifting for an hour, so I took the chance to sit down. He got a little huffy when I acknowledged it but said I was doing it that way for a reason, then he went back to his bicep curls.


Most of the time no on approaches unless they need to ask if I'm using something or how many sets I have left. Even without headphones, mostly it's no interactions at all in the gym.

[cjobson]

It depends who it comes from. I'm friendly with a few of the regular lifters at my gym and so when they have tips to share I'll gladly take them into consideration (and maybe hand out a few tips myself, but 9 out of 10 times, only if they ask me for it). But I've been going to my gym long enough to really know how experienced each person is, so if some dude comes up and tries to give me advice that I feel to be off, I just say "thanks" or even "I've tried many ways and this seems to be the best for me". It is pretty damn uncomfortable though.

[maeva27]

This.

Maybe he was concerned you were going to pass out if it looked like you were holding your breath? Or maybe he was hitting on you. Could have been good intentions. Even if you think it's BS, you can just be polite and say, "thanks I'll keep that in mind" and go about your business. Great thing about ear buds is you can act like you don't hear people even if you do

Yeah, that's what I say when it happens. I've gotten stupid advice a couple of times, and then good advice 1-2 times (very glad In that case) as well. I understand they are trying to be helpful but I wish those people would concentrate on their form instead. What annoys me is that sometimes people will give you advice and keep talking about random stuff (I don't have that much free time to myself, the gym is where I spend my ME time). Even if I put my 'I don't give a f$ck' face on, it doesn't seem to stop them. I probably should work on that...

When I see someone might be coming to talk to me I often start playing on my phone, switching music and etc. yeah, i am antisocial like that i guess.

[euco09]

Yes I have and out of all the crap advice I have actually been given a few really great tips/ pieces of advice that was great.

I have never thought it was rude though, maybe a bit annoying but I moved on pretty quickly!

[cjobson]

Well well well...today I was SO close to giving my first ever piece of unsolicited advice. I immediately thought of this forum since I chimed in earlier and had to post again.

This girl I've been seeing lately...definitely a beginner lifter. Today was the first day I saw her lift as I usually am leaving as she comes in. I was in the squat rack next to her today though doing rack deads...she was squatting with pretty horrendous form but I didn't say anything. Then she moved to DL's and...oh my god. Arching the back like crazy. I didn't want to stare but I really was pondering whether or not I should tell her to stop immediately before she hurt herself like I did before and learned the hard way. She kept looking over at me when I was performing my deads and I could tell she saw how I was holding my head up properly and she even had a slightly better back after she glanced at my set. Not that I have perfect form, either. But I was relieved that without words I was able to maybe correct SOME of it, but definitely not all of it.

If I see her again making the same mistakes I very well might tell her. It was just painful to watch, especially with the DL. I was expecting to hear a snap crackle pop any second.

[LunaLifts]

If I see her again making the same mistakes I very well might tell her. It was just painful to watch, especially with the DL. I was expecting to hear a snap crackle pop any second.

I pinched my sciatic nerve so badly part of my leg went numb for over a month (and it still gets painful sometimes) because I didn't bother looking into DL form. This is one of those times I'd encourage unsolicited advice, because that can end up really serious, really quickly. If she ignores you, and hurts herself, at least you tried to prevent it.