[SRS] Depression Discussion and Support Thread Part II

[BigTimePlayer]

I feel bad for saying this but I had 2 women message me through Tinder today but I'm not attracted to either of them. It just seems like all the women I really like are the ones that don't swipe right to me. I admittedly just swipe right to everyone now & than wait the 12 hours to swipe again to everyone. I see some women though that I find really attractive but I never match with them. Even the ones I find to be 7s or 8s to me I never match with them. I even changed my main pic to one that wasn't a selfie. I'm definitely deleting it after this weekend unless a miracle happens where I match with someone I like. Also as I said I shouldn't even be on there anyway I feel. After this weekend I'm deleting it for good unless something happens where I match with someone I'm attracted to.

Also, there's times where I just start to get really angry inside whenever I see attractive women at my job. It's like it's beaten over my head over & over reminding me of what I don't & can't have. I have to find another job or just quit soon.

[harmsxwhey]

Tinder just seems like a horrible platform, man. The pursuit of a woman makes you feel more like a man to begin with, and technology has completely removed every aspect of that in place of instant gratification. Yeah, I guess it's cool for one night stands and fuk buddies, but trying to find something meaningful on an app that is literally intended for hooking up is like going to the gas station to look for Henri IV Dudognon Heritage Cognac in the liquor section. I'm willing to bet a large sum of money that it's contributing a substantial amount to your mood. Not to mention, being on this forum where looks are held in such high regard, yet nobody here actually has them. Delete the app, start trying to find women the traditional way. The pursuit of a lover is also a proven test booster.

[BigTimePlayer]

Tinder just seems like a horrible platform, man. The pursuit of a woman makes you feel more like a man to begin with, and technology has completely removed every aspect of that in place of instant gratification. Yeah, I guess it's cool for one night stands and fuk buddies, but trying to find something meaningful on an app that is literally intended for hooking up is like going to the gas station to look for Henri IV Dudognon Heritage Cognac in the liquor section. I'm willing to bet a large sum of money that it's contributing a substantial amount to your mood. Not to mention, being on this forum where looks are held in such high regard, yet nobody here actually has them. Delete the app, start trying to find women the traditional way. The pursuit of a lover is also a proven test booster.

It's just making me feel like I'm not even attractive at all when I hardly match with anyone I even find to be a 7 or an 8. It's like all the women that I really would like to swipe right to me never do. There's a few that I matched with that are decent looking but they live too far for me to meet them so I never bother to message them. I'm starting to think though my standards are too high or I'm just really picky. I honestly don't even know what my league is since I pretty much have no experience.

[AppsBrah]

It's just making me feel like I'm not even attractive at all when I hardly match with anyone I even find to be a 7 or an 8. It's like all the women that I really would like to swipe right to me never do. There's a few that I matched with that are decent looking but they live too far for me to meet them so I never bother to message them. I'm starting to think though my standards are too high or I'm just really picky. I honestly don't even know what my league is since I pretty much have no experience.

You already know the solution. Message the ones you matched with. I guarantee that if you match with an 8 and somehow manage to get a date, you would fuk it up because you don't know how to date. If you were a 7/8 you wouldn't be in this situation, time to face reality. Game the ones you matched with, meet up, gain experience, increase standards, repeat.

[ZyraThornrise]

Nothing wrong with practice girls, BigTime

[BigTimePlayer]

You already know the solution. Message the ones you matched with. I guarantee that if you match with an 8 and somehow manage to get a date, you would fuk it up because you don't know how to date. If you were a 7/8 you wouldn't be in this situation, time to face reality. Game the ones you matched with, meet up, gain experience, increase standards, repeat.

I'd be wasting my time though when I'd have no interest at all in meeting them due to no attraction. I mean I could chat with them online but I wouldn't have any interest in wanting to meet them. I mean what exactly do I have to do on a date to not fuk it up?

[BigTimePlayer]

Nothing wrong with practice girls, BigTime

I just would feel guilty though if I'm meeting them with no intention of wanting to even go out with them again. I'd just be wasting their time I feel. I mean I know I'd be really upset if a woman did that to me where she never had any intention for anything serious from the beginning if I was going into meeting her with the intention of a possible relationship or something more than just 1 date.

[Deathstroke]

Most women that are looking, are attractive in some type of way, sexy in their own little ways or major ways imo. The ones looking have something to give, something to offer.

I won't say I have left many women heartbroken, but I've turned down some chances recently cause I am happier solo. I swear I literally could have an HB10 pursue me and I'd not be interested atm. Many women are great for sex though, I still got needs, but no desire to be in a relationship. I cannot move out of my home, or move a woman in who is going to tell me how to live or try to change my way I do things around here. I'm too particular I guess......

What do you want in a woman though? If I may ask. I'd say give the ones you think are ugly a shot. Looks are just a shell anyway.

[ZyraThornrise]

I just would feel guilty though if I'm meeting them with no intention of wanting to even go out with them again. I'd just be wasting their time I feel. I mean I know I'd be really upset if a woman did that to me where she never had any intention for anything serious from the beginning if I was going into meeting her with the intention of a possible relationship or something more than just 1 date.

I mean I can't change your thoughts about that but Tinder kind of has the rep that you try it out and move on.
Don't feel guilty if you don't like the girl. She'll understand.

[AppsBrah]

I'd be wasting my time though when I'd have no interest at all in meeting them due to no attraction. I mean I could chat with them online but I wouldn't have any interest in wanting to meet them. I mean what exactly do I have to do on a date to not fuk it up?

Dating is a skill like any other. In the end it is about convincing the girl you are worth her attention, in a passive way. It's not like you just sit there and talk and you 2 will magically fall in love. Most dates end in nothing. The more attractive the girl, the more options she has, the better option you need to be.

I just would feel guilty though if I'm meeting them with no intention of wanting to even go out with them again. I'd just be wasting their time I feel. I mean I know I'd be really upset if a woman did that to me where she never had any intention for anything serious from the beginning if I was going into meeting her with the intention of a possible relationship or something more than just 1 date.

Is that 'guilt' (which is useless, they get 100's of messages every week), worth being single and frustrated for the next 50 years? If your answer truly is yes, fine. But it's not.

Honestly the best comparison I can make is that you want to be a doctor, but you refuse to go to med school. You either suck it op and go, or you'll never be a doctor.

[Deathstroke]

I mean I can't change your thoughts about that but Tinder kind of has the rep that you try it out and move on.
Don't feel guilty if you don't like the girl. She'll understand.

Add me, on PSN! If you still game. If don't want to play with me, I'll understand.

[ZyraThornrise]

Add me, on PSN! If you still game. If don't want to play with me, I'll understand.

I don't have a PS4 anymore.
My ex took it.

Or I totally would.
Once I get another one I'll hit you up.

[BigTimePlayer]

Most women that are looking, are attractive in some type of way, sexy in their own little ways or major ways imo. The ones looking have something to give, something to offer.

I won't say I have left many women heartbroken, but I've turned down some chances recently cause I am happier solo. I swear I literally could have an HB10 pursue me and I'd not be interested atm. Many women are great for sex though, I still got needs, but no desire to be in a relationship. I cannot move out of my home, or move a woman in who is going to tell me how to live or try to change my way I do things around here. I'm too particular I guess......

What do you want in a woman though? If I may ask. I'd say give the ones you think are ugly a shot. Looks are just a shell anyway.

Well I want someone that's attractive/good personality , that has no kids, & hasn't been with a whole lot of guys. The problem is the vast majority of guys want the same thing as I'd like to have. I also guess it's no coincidence that 90-95% of the time I see someone I find attractive, they already happen to be taken by someone else. And I just can't do it. I can't be with someone I have no or little attraction to. I'd always be wanting someone more attractive as shallow as that sounds but I admit it instead of lying to myself or pretending looks don't matter to me.

[BigTimePlayer]

Dating is a skill like any other. In the end it is about convincing the girl you are worth her attention, in a passive way. It's not like you just sit there and talk and you 2 will magically fall in love. Most dates end in nothing. The more attractive the girl, the more options she has, the better option you need to be.



Is that 'guilt' (which is useless, they get 100's of messages every week), worth being single and frustrated for the next 50 years? If your answer truly is yes, fine. But it's not.

Honestly the best comparison I can make is that you want to be a doctor, but you refuse to go to med school. You either suck it op and go, or you'll never be a doctor.

I'd have absolutely no interest though meeting them. I'd be seriously wondering like wtf am I doing here with her. And I get the more attractive she is the more options, but I can't help what I'm attracted to. I'm assuming what I find attractive is what most other guys find attractive though in most cases since as I said it always seems the women I find attractive that come into where I work most of the time they're not single.

[BigTimePlayer]

I mean I can't change your thoughts about that but Tinder kind of has the rep that you try it out and move on.
Don't feel guilty if you don't like the girl. She'll understand.

True, that's why I sometimes wonder why I'm even on there. It's probably still mainly a hookup app so a lot of the attractive women on there are only looking for the most attractive guys to them for hookups or to just promote their instagrams. I'm deleting it after this weekend for good unless something happens where I happen to match up with someone I like. I also don't even know what I'm doing really since I probably shouldn't even be dating in the first place I honestly feel but it's just constantly on my mind. It's like whenever I'm at work I always see attractive women so I couldn't stop thinking about it even if I wanted to. I don't know how to just ignore it.

[AppsBrah]

Relevant: http://www.metacafe.com/watch/an-dHg...2005_partying/

Starts at 20sec

No pun intended from the movie title tho lol

[ZyraThornrise]

So I started drinking a lot again.
No idea why. Just did.
It's definitely fukking with me, but it feels so good when I'm drunk.
Still no thoughts on dating again though. It's fun just being single for once.

[300BLK]

Hmmm. Seems like the days when I'm not feeling "alpha", this place just feels like overly dramatic and depressing. Maybe it's just coincidence when I'm feeling soft? IDK, I always see these dramatic "I'm leaving the misc", "misc is too negative" threads when I'm feeling this way.

One thing I don't understand, how people can be so negative about people's illnesses and differences when you literally have a depression support thread at the top of the misc. At one point you have people trying to destroy each other's lives and then people saying, "we're all gonna make it". I don't get it. Like one extreme to the other, for people who seem to have realistic view points and recognition of morals, that's just odd to me, makes me question my own sanity and whether I belong here.

[BigTimePlayer]

Relevant: http://www.metacafe.com/watch/an-dHg...2005_partying/

Starts at 20sec

No pun intended from the movie title tho lol

lol dude wtf. You trying to make me feel even worse.

[Deathstroke]

So I started drinking a lot again.
No idea why. Just did.
It's definitely fukking with me, but it feels so good when I'm drunk.
Still no thoughts on dating again though. It's fun just being single for once.

Been there, I been a heavy drinker since age 22, had many failed attempts to quit because I liked it so much.

A choice was made for me in January, either I quit or I risk death, and will definitely be hospitalized again. I cannot do it anymore else that'll happen. Everyone offered me help and recommended AA because I had drank so many years but I wasn't really addicted, I'd just binge drink because I liked it, liked how it made me feel. Now I cannot do it for enjoyment anymore. There's degrees of alcohol dependency though, I'd be drunk at least 2-3 nights a week on average, I used to tell myself if I were a real alky then I'd HAVE to have it every single night, but I was content to binge 3 nights a week. I don't know, either way it came down to do I want to live, or die. And I want to live. This might be the dumbest fu*cking bunk piece of advice I could ever give you but.... I cannot help but say, Enjoy it when you can and while you can lol. I know if not for the health issue that prevents me from drinking that I'd be drinking now too.

[ZyraThornrise]

Been there, I been a heavy drinker since age 22, had many failed attempts to quit because I liked it so much.

A choice was made for me in January, either I quit or I risk death, and will definitely be hospitalized again. I cannot do it anymore else that'll happen. Everyone offered me help and recommended AA because I had drank so many years but I wasn't really addicted, I'd just binge drink because I liked it, liked how it made me feel. Now I cannot do it for enjoyment anymore. There's degrees of alcohol dependency though, I'd be drunk at least 2-3 nights a week on average, I used to tell myself if I were a real alky then I'd HAVE to have it every single night, but I was content to binge 3 nights a week. I don't know, either way it came down to do I want to live, or die. And I want to live. This might be the dumbest fu*cking bunk piece of advice I could ever give you but.... I cannot help but say, Enjoy it when you can and while you can lol. I know if not for the health issue that prevents me from drinking that I'd be drinking now too.

I'm so sorry.

I definitely don't want to get to a point where it affects my health, but right now it's legit the only way I'm able to talk to people. I'm so horrified of dating and putting myself out there, so I drink.
Hell, I'm drunk right now.
I'm not really sure where I wanted to go with this other than to say I'm sorry for all that's happened to you. You're a wonderful person and deserve great things to happen to you.

[Deathstroke]

I'm so sorry.

I definitely don't want to get to a point where it affects my health, but right now it's legit the only way I'm able to talk to people. I'm so horrified of dating and putting myself out there, so I drink.
Hell, I'm drunk right now.
I'm not really sure where I wanted to go with this other than to say I'm sorry for all that's happened to you. You're a wonderful person and deserve great things to happen to you.

Well it's recent right? How often and how much on average? I don't know, I mean if you need it to be talkative and comfortable around others, then maybe that's not a good thing. I liked how it made me feel, I never felt I required it for any particular reason.

Be lucky you're not out there right now dating, especially while drunk, Do you know how many guys would take advantage of you?!!!!!!

And thanks, appreciate it. I kind of think the whole cannot drink anymore thing was a great thing that happened to me. Yeah got hospitalized, turned out to be pancreatitis (sp?) which they sent me home with instructions of zero alcohol and low fat diet...both can make the pancreatitus flare up, but especially the drinking. It's like when you have a rash on your legs, it would be like taking a shaving razor over it that will only irritate that rash. THe pancreatitis is my rash. Alcohol would be the razor.

[AppsBrah]

Hmmm. Seems like the days when I'm not feeling "alpha", this place just feels like overly dramatic and depressing. Maybe it's just coincidence when I'm feeling soft? IDK, I always see these dramatic "I'm leaving the misc", "misc is too negative" threads when I'm feeling this way.

One thing I don't understand, how people can be so negative about people's illnesses and differences when you literally have a depression support thread at the top of the misc. At one point you have people trying to destroy each other's lives and then people saying, "we're all gonna make it". I don't get it. Like one extreme to the other, for people who seem to have realistic view points and recognition of morals, that's just odd to me, makes me question my own sanity and whether I belong here.

Meh, I often post more harsh things outside this thread. You have to remember misc is a place where people come to kill time, to relax, have some distraction. When all you see is negativity it's no surprise people get mad/irritated about it. This LDAR stuff has been infecting misc for long enough

Best thing to do is to never take anything seriously, unless it's very specific eg a financial advisor giving miscers advice, or a real estate agent helping a miscer with buying something. Anything else = do not take seriously.

lol dude wtf. You trying to make me feel even worse.

Bruh I was trying to make you see the whole practice girls thing. I'm trying to help you but you have to be willing to take the advice and use it. Real life ain't hollywood where people magically meet and get married. Results are heavily correlated with the amount of effort you put in.


@Zyra pls stahp, the longer you use it as an escape/cope, the longer it will take to get off it

[ZyraThornrise]

Well it's recent right? How often and how much on average? I don't know, I mean if you need it to be talkative and comfortable around others, then maybe that's not a good thing. I liked how it made me feel, I never felt I required it for any particular reason.

Be lucky you're not out there right now dating, especially while drunk, Do you know how many guys would take advantage of you?!!!!!!

And thanks, appreciate it. I kind of think the whole cannot drink anymore thing was a great thing that happened to me. Yeah got hospitalized, turned out to be pancreatitis (sp?) which they sent me home with instructions of zero alcohol and low fat diet...both can make the pancreatitus flare up, but especially the drinking. It's like when you have a rash on your legs, it would be like taking a shaving razor over it that will only irritate that rash. THe pancreatitis is my rash. Alcohol would be the razor.

Yeah it's pretty recent.

I'll usually have about four glasses of wine once or twice a week. So nothing too hard.

I totally understand why you wouldn't drink. Good on you for keeping with it.

[idno]

been feeling more motivated to lift and gain weight. Been seeing a new therapist. I don't think my dp has really subsided much although it does get alleviated when I'm talking with someone. I driver Uber so now I can make money while talking. The feelings of loneliness an not knowing who I am comes in waves, but when they come on it is very scary. Anyways I'm going out this weekend with my sister and her friends and possible some dudes from my old school, not sure what I'm going to talk about while I'm out, we'll see...

[300BLK]

Meh, I often post more harsh things outside this thread. You have to remember misc is a place where people come to kill time, to relax, have some distraction. When all you see is negativity it's no surprise people get mad/irritated about it. This LDAR stuff has been infecting misc for long enough

Best thing to do is to never take anything seriously, unless it's very specific eg a financial advisor giving miscers advice, or a real estate agent helping a miscer with buying something. Anything else = do not take seriously.

This place just seems odd some times. At least people here seem to be more keen on the type of chit they want to see. And it has mostly to do with the content of the post, not the poster. Last community I was in, people couldn't make up their mind what they liked or disliked, they seem to enjoy content solely on how well they liked said poster. This guy can say this, but this guy can't. One minute they like you, next minute they don't. You say one thing they dislike and if you explain yourself or apologize for it, they'll hold it against you no matter what. It's like those guys were still in middle/high school, just judging things solely based on a cool/popularity radar. One minute they're saying we need to save the world, next minute they're harassing and cyberbullying people. Those people couldn't make up their mind what they wanted, and even tried to make me a target, and then I finally had enough and left for good. And then you got people tracking me down saying, "a lot of people want you back". And then someone further updated me, and literally nothing has changed in that community. I mean I don't know other people's experiences but I've personally never seen a community that bad, and I've been through enough bullchit in my life, and I'm not trying to experience more of it, and hoping I don't here. That's why I questioned whether I belong here or not.

[Sargealex92]

**** ****ing sucks. Been lifting for a couple years and the gains are good but then walking out of the gym two girls about 15 years old were taller than me.

No matter how much lifting I do, 5'6 is 5'6.

Approached over 300 women and never got beyond a first date. No kisses, virgin, no nothing.

That's why this ****ing western generation of decadence will never be like before. Birth rates are declining because women are absolutely too arrogant and narcissistic. They don't even give a guy a chance because of height, despite good body, good job, good face, etc.

That's why I take some pleasure in what's happening in Europe sometimes. That's what happens when women feminise countries. They fall.

Anyway I'm not too depressed but it's always a thought in the back of my mind that lifting is pointless for short guys. Short guys are discriminated worse than blacks ever were.

[zknarc]

Can we please not derail a thread on depression into another one of these FA tinder online dating threads

[ZyraThornrise]

This place just seems odd some times. At least people here seem to be more keen on the type of chit they want to see. And it has mostly to do with the content of the post, not the poster. Last community I was in, people couldn't make up their mind what they liked or disliked, they seem to enjoy content solely on how well they liked said poster. This guy can say this, but this guy can't. One minute they like you, next minute they don't. You say one thing they dislike and if you explain yourself or apologize for it, they'll hold it against you no matter what. It's like those guys were still in middle/high school, just judging things solely based on a cool/popularity radar. One minute they're saying we need to save the world, next minute they're harassing and cyberbullying people. Those people couldn't make up their mind what they wanted, and even tried to make me a target, and then I finally had enough and left for good. And then you got people tracking me down saying, "a lot of people want you back". And then someone further updated me, and literally nothing has changed in that community. I mean I don't know other people's experiences but I've personally never seen a community that bad, and I've been through enough bullchit in my life, and I'm not trying to experience more of it, and hoping I don't here. That's why I questioned whether I belong here or not.

From what I've seen you post, I enjoy you being here.
For what it's worth I suppose.

[AppsBrah]

**** ****ing sucks. Been lifting for a couple years and the gains are good but then walking out of the gym two girls about 15 years old were taller than me.

No matter how much lifting I do, 5'6 is 5'6.

Approached over 300 women and never got beyond a first date. No kisses, virgin, no nothing.

That's why this ****ing western generation of decadence will never be like before. Birth rates are declining because women are absolutely too arrogant and narcissistic. They don't even give a guy a chance because of height, despite good body, good job, good face, etc.

That's why I take some pleasure in what's happening in Europe sometimes. That's what happens when women feminise countries. They fall.

Anyway I'm not too depressed but it's always a thought in the back of my mind that lifting is pointless for short guys. Short guys are discriminated worse than blacks ever were.

The problem lies with you and how you see yourself, not with women. I currently live in the netherlands, where 5'8 (me) is basically 5'6 in other countries. No one cares. You're acting like you're 5'1 or something