Eating Disorder Support Thread: Recovery in Numbers (2nd Edition)

[Aurora215]

@hope27

Thanks for your response. I'm just really tired of waiting for my appointment. I feel like I've been like this for so long. The stress, the fatigue: it's just too much to bare. I'm not anorexic. I'm not bulimic. I'm not quite sure what I am but it's mentally and physically debilitating. I want to gain weight but I'm really prone to stress and I fear it at the same time. I can't really see a way out at the moment.

I will check in after my first appointment.

[hope27]

@hope27

Thanks for your response. I'm just really tired of waiting for my appointment. I feel like I've been like this for so long. The stress, the fatigue: it's just too much to bare. I'm not anorexic. I'm not bulimic. I'm not quite sure what I am but it's mentally and physically debilitating. I want to gain weight but I'm really prone to stress and I fear it at the same time. I can't really see a way out at the moment.

I will check in after my first appointment.

I hear ya. I hope this specialist helps you. If there is anything I can do, feel free to PM me. I had an eating disorder. But, I can also relate to the anxiety and depression. So, if you ever just want to talk send me a message and I will respond. Hang in there. It is mentally and physically debilitating. But, you are making a good first step. As with most of us, we are hard on ourselves and want immediate solutions. Try finding something positive you can do each day even if it is writing three things you are grateful for in a journal. It might be hard to come up with three, so maybe even one.

[deadliftbrah19]

@hope27

Thanks for your response. I'm just really tired of waiting for my appointment. I feel like I've been like this for so long. The stress, the fatigue: it's just too much to bare. I'm not anorexic. I'm not bulimic. I'm not quite sure what I am but it's mentally and physically debilitating. I want to gain weight but I'm really prone to stress and I fear it at the same time. I can't really see a way out at the moment.

I will check in after my first appointment.

Hi Aurora,

I am glad you are getting help. I have also experienced the stress, fatigue, chest pain/stomach pain anxiety 24/7, etc.

There is help out there, and a better life to live than a life full of ED thoughts and ideas.

Please update us after your first appointment.

I remember waiting for my first appointment as well. Unfortunately I could not wait that long, as my body finally gave out and I ended up in the ambulance, so they took me in the ED hospital right away. Hopefully you are still medically stable.

[Aurora215]

Thank you Hope and Deadliftbrah for your support.

Today, I left the house because home is making me anxious. I went to a family friend's house where we had snacks and watch sport. My friend said to me: "you're looking too skinny" and handed me a coke. If you saw my earlier post, you would see that I get attacks from even the smallest amount of caffeine. But I couldn't bring myself to decline because (a) it seemed rude to decline (b) I'm so skinny but I'm adamant to prove to everyone that I don't have anorexia, and (c)(i) they don't know about my anxiety and (c)(ii) explaining to them about my anxiety would make it look like some sort of eating disorder excuse to avoid eating/drinking. So I drank it.

So far, I feel ok. No anxiety attack yet but I feel like it's coming ... It usually comes with the caffeine crash. I'm home. And my parents seem like they're in a bad mood and don't look like they want to deal with me at the moment. Not sure what to do ...

[hope27]

Thank you Hope and Deadliftbrah for your support.

Today, I left the house because home is making me anxious. I went to a family friend's house where we had snacks and watch sport. My friend said to me: "you're looking too skinny" and handed me a coke. If you saw my earlier post, you would see that I get attacks from even the smallest amount of caffeine. But I couldn't bring myself to decline because (a) it seemed rude to decline (b) I'm so skinny but I'm adamant to prove to everyone that I don't have anorexia, and (c)(i) they don't know about my anxiety and (c)(ii) explaining to them about my anxiety would make it look like some sort of eating disorder excuse to avoid eating/drinking. So I drank it.

So far, I feel ok. No anxiety attack yet but I feel like it's coming ... It usually comes with the caffeine crash. I'm home. And my parents seem like they're in a bad mood and don't look like they want to deal with me at the moment. Not sure what to do ...

Ah, sweetie if caffeine is a trigger for you, you need to learn to say no and just say I prefer water. I mean I deal with having to let people know I don't drink alcohol and it is awkward at times, but my friends are used to it by now and just accept me the way that I am.

It seems your home situation is stressful. Is there some way you could talk to your parents? I know that is hard, but it seems like it is giving you a lot of anxiety. I don't know if it is possible to minimize the time you are at home, but it is hard for you to leave the house. One thing you might consider is doing a family therapy session once you start therapy. I was 27 when I was in my ED program and had to do family therapy. Sometimes it is easier to say what you need to say when you have someone else in your corner. I am proud of you for leaving your house that is awesome

[AddingPins]

@Aurora

I'm sorry to hear that this is happening to you as it is not easy to be living in this constant state of panic. It seems to me like your need to prove to everyone that you are not sick is only compounding the situation. As nice as it would be to be able to control the way the world sees you it's not realistic and your focus needs to be inward at this time. The situation with the coke is a great demonstration of this. You know that coke triggers you but you drank it in order to keep up appearances. I get it…but at the same time your focus needs to be on making good choices for yourself which includes trying to eat more and avoiding things like caffeine. You can't control what your friends do or think but you can react in ways that are kinder towards yourself. Just do your best to make good choices for yourself one at a time as the day unfolds. Don't worry about what others think about your journey. It will be very difficult to build new habits as well as try to focus on controlling how others perceive you. That's overwhelming and unnecessary. No wonder you are anxious.

Sometimes without meaning to we create our own anxiety or do things to cause it to perpetuate. Talk to your family…tell them your struggles and you may be surprised how much they want to help you. When you say, 'they don't want to deal with you' this is just your perspective which is currently not the best judge of reality. I think it may benefit you to let them in.

When is your appointment?

[Aurora215]

Good news! No attack

@hope

Can't see myself doing family therapy. They are mostly very loving. And I can't live without them. I feel like I'd lose them. I've mentioned things like 'this house makes me anxious'. My mother always guilts me with: 'I put so much effort into running this house. Do you have any idea how that makes me feel?'

Leaving the house can be hard at the time. But getting sunshine and seeing friends makes me feel better for the entire day.

@addingpins

Not until Thursday :/

I can't see myself not worrying about what others think. It's how I've been my whole life. Even right now, I'm thinking about how I'm going to break it to my uni friends that I'm taking a break.

[AddingPins]

@Aurora

Thursday isn't that far away.
Both of your sentences started with the same thing 'I can't see myself' and that is pretty accurate. You're not seeing things as they are and you are allowing your ideas of how things may be to cripple you. Your family love you and are likely just as afraid to lose you as you are to lose them. If you let your anxiety consume you, they will.

It's hard not to worry what others think about you and I'm not saying to just abandon those feelings entirely because that would be pretty miraculous if you could do that so quickly! What I mean is that you cannot let those worries make the decisions about your life for you. Your friends may be disappointed that you are taking a break but that is because they love you and want you around. That's not a bad thing and it's not because they are disappointed in you. Living your life in constant fear of others and how others perceive you distracts you from taking the steps that you need to take in order to help yourself. It's not that other's don't matter. It's that right now you need to start taking better care of yourself. Stop acting on what you feel and start acting on what you know. You know that things can't stay this way. You know you can't live in constant fear like this. You know you can't keep shutting out those closest to you because it will be very difficult to face this alone. You know you need to eat more and that you want to live your life. Each day, try to take the steps necessary to make those things happen. Baby steps are still steps. You can find peace in knowing that you are doing what you can to move in the right direction. The rest will fall into place on its own.

[drumlinegirl]

Hey everyone. I've had a very long week last week, I work in education so a l lot of my contracts started last week and it'll be a crazy schedule for a while. Anyways, I did well with eating enough food, planned it all out and that allowed me to not count calories SOME days, but still counted others.

It was my hubby's bday saturday and I had a big ol sugary slice of cake! Not only do I not remember the last time I've had cake, I don't remember the last time I've had anything that "bad" in terms of sugar/fat, etc. And I didn't freak out. I enjoyed it and it was good. I wanted to restrict the rest of the day, but I was hungry later so I just ate what I normally do. That was awesome!

The last few posts in regards to tracking calories, body fat, weight etc made me think of this realization I had a couple months ago with my nutritionist. She was saying how calorie counting isn't important in life (paraphrasing), and I said, well yeah, for centuries humans have eaten, and many of them without having an issue being overweight, never knowing how many calories they ate. Think about it, how did people do it in the 1600s for example? They didn't know calories. Kinda fun way for me to think of it.

[latex55]

i totally agree with what you're saying about counting calories. its been the devil for me.

its almost as if i wish i could go back and "unlearn" all the stuff i know about nutrition and calories. i was so much more fun to be around a few years ago. my wife and i would do date night on saturday nights and we would go anywhere we wanted- italian, tex mex, steak, etc and i would have no worries in the world. i would eat whatever i wanted and have some drinks and i looked forward to it all week. i would get back on the wagon the next day.

now i cant even enjoy saturday nights. i fast all day and cant enjoy our normal go to places. i cut out tex mex and italian because i dont trust myself around chips and guac and bread/noodles.


its hard to say "stop counting calories" because your brain now knows to a T now what foods have in them and how many calories they have. now i cant imagine having lunch or dinner and not immediately go to my phone and log it. i hate it, but its part of my OCD.

i feel your pain. im 5'10, 148 lbs 35 male and even though my trainer is telling me to gain 15-20 lbs its so hard mentally to absorb when ive lost 70 lbs over 8 years and kept it off. i like being skinny and my biggest fear is going back to 220lbs overnight. it sounds silly but its just weird to tell someone who has busted their as* to get where they are to eat more and gain weight.

[applepie1234]

Anyone else get triggered by the full day of eating/cheat day videos on youtube? I think that for me, this tends to create an unhealthy relationship with food.

[ErikTheElectric]

^ That is completely subjective. Being "triggered" depends on the individual and your personal views. If something "triggers" you, then it would be best if you avoided that individual thing and anything having to do with it for an extended period of time UNTIL you regain a "healthy" relationship with it again.

The same can be said (in this context) for...

Mirrors...
Online BodyBuilding Sites..
People with _____ BF%
Scales....


Etc.

[applepie1234]

Is it normal to "miss" having people be concerned about you during recovery? For example, would is something similar to this (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Munchausen_syndrome) normal during recovery?

[muruku]

Like the attention?

[Voltri]

Checking in to this thread again for the first time in a while-- Dealt with BED growing up, and had kicked it in the ass. Then went through a lot of stuff around this time last year and have been dealing with BED again for a year now. Struggling with anxiety and depression in addition to the ED, and am looking to get professional help soon.

Anyone else get triggered by the full day of eating/cheat day videos on youtube? I think that for me, this tends to create an unhealthy relationship with food.

Kind of. I'm trying to find a way around this as something that causes intense urges is when some of my clients discuss their own eating habits. Something I try and remind myself, though, is that acting on an urge is a choice.

[minogodeh]

Anyone else get triggered by the full day of eating/cheat day videos on youtube? I think that for me, this tends to create an unhealthy relationship with food.

Happened to me as well, but only at below 10% bf. I agree with @ErikTheElectric, best if you avoid it if you already know that its going to "trigger" you.

[hope27]

Checking in to this thread again for the first time in a while-- Dealt with BED growing up, and had kicked it in the ass. Then went through a lot of stuff around this time last year and have been dealing with BED again for a year now. Struggling with anxiety and depression in addition to the ED, and am looking to get professional help soon.



Kind of. I'm trying to find a way around this as something that causes intense urges is when some of my clients discuss their own eating habits. Something I try and remind myself, though, is that acting on an urge is a choice.

Sorry to hear you are struggling again, but remember the eating is a symptom and not the problem. I am glad to hear you are getting professional help. To an extent acting on an urge is a choice, but when you are an addict, you have to be super aware at all times because sometimes we do things unconsciously. I would, not that this seems to be the number one priority, take some time to explore in therapy why it causes you intense urges when some of your clients discuss their own eating habits. I wonder why it is triggering to you. I don't find conversations that other people have about what they eat triggering. I am not around it either all day like you must be in your job, but I find that people tend to go on about what they eat. On the other hand, I found that continuing to go to an ED support group was highly triggering for me. At the time I needed it, it served it's purpose, but I am in a different place than people, many of whom are still in denial, are in. I stopped going as I felt they had a right to get their needs met and when I say triggering, I don't mean it made me want to revert back to either extreme, rather it was frustrating to me as I wanted to focus on other things and being healthy, but that isn't the purpose of an ED support group. Unfortunately, it would be nice to have a group for people who have recovered, as it is not that I am without issues. They are just different.

@applepie1234, I would avoidd it

[twoTtwosniper]

I don't know if this is really the right place to post, but it seems better than the general forum as I dont want to be Brottacked....

All my life I have had Food texture issues and a horrible gag reflex... I can not make myself eat vegetables (with the exception of Green Beans *sometimes*, Corn ON the Cob *not off* and maybe 3-4 peels of lettuce before I can no longer tolerate the texture.) The only fruit I eat is Oranges, Apples and Watermelon. I used to eat bananas but I hate how they taste, I dont even like them mixed into smoothies. Now I can eat fruit blended into smoothies but have had no luck with veggies..

I am currently deployed and wake up at 8pm for work everyday.
Meals look like
B: Bowl of Smart Start cereal with low fat milk and a Synthia-6 protein shake. within 3 hours of waking up
M: Chicken Breast or some form of Chicken offered at DFAC, with either plain rice, plain pasta or plain potatoes (sometimes fries if all that is available) 2-3 hours after Breakfast
M: 3 Eggs Hard, 2 Piece of Toast, Hashbrowns (baked)... It is now morning, bc of some bird flu issue we can not get egg whites out here.
Off Work at 9AM, Take Pre Workout, Amino Acids, Workout, Take Creatine, Protein and Eat More Chicken Breast with Rice or Pasta or Potatoes.

If you cant tell I eat the same 4 or 5 things everyday... I want to eat better but I can eat things that are mixed with other things or are not offered plain. I do have maybe once a week a burger from the DFAC inplace of Chicken, some days I get baked chicken tenders or nuggets with I am just tired of chicken breast. every other week they may offer turkey...

So essientially I live off of chicken breast, rice, pasta, potatoes all plain, eggs, toast, cereal, tater tots, french fries and the occasional hamburger, turkey or roast beef sandwich. I drink atleast a gallon of water a day and have OJ with my meals...

I feel as I am going on and on but I just want to know why avoiding bad food and eating as healthy as I can make myself eat.. Working out 5-6 days a week, lifting and doing cardio I went from 228 lbs when I got here in April 5th.. on Aug 5th I was down to 194... but now Sept 3rd I am still at 195. If my diet, or lack of ability to make myself eat "better" foods the reason I can not lose anymore weight... When I got here I was out of shape.. and I wanted to get down to 180-185 by October... I just dont see myself losing 10-15 lbs in a month after not losing any weight in the last month.

http://bodyspace.bodybuilding.com/pe...niper/78289751
http://bodyspace.bodybuilding.com/pe...niper/78289931
http://bodyspace.bodybuilding.com/pe...niper/78290031

[hope27]

I don't know if this is really the right place to post, but it seems better than the general forum as I dont want to be Brottacked....

All my life I have had Food texture issues and a horrible gag reflex... I can not make myself eat vegetables (with the exception of Green Beans *sometimes*, Corn ON the Cob *not off* and maybe 3-4 peels of lettuce before I can no longer tolerate the texture.) The only fruit I eat is Oranges, Apples and Watermelon. I used to eat bananas but I hate how they taste, I dont even like them mixed into smoothies. Now I can eat fruit blended into smoothies but have had no luck with veggies..

I am currently deployed and wake up at 8pm for work everyday.
Meals look like
B: Bowl of Smart Start cereal with low fat milk and a Synthia-6 protein shake. within 3 hours of waking up
M: Chicken Breast or some form of Chicken offered at DFAC, with either plain rice, plain pasta or plain potatoes (sometimes fries if all that is available) 2-3 hours after Breakfast
M: 3 Eggs Hard, 2 Piece of Toast, Hashbrowns (baked)... It is now morning, bc of some bird flu issue we can not get egg whites out here.
Off Work at 9AM, Take Pre Workout, Amino Acids, Workout, Take Creatine, Protein and Eat More Chicken Breast with Rice or Pasta or Potatoes.

If you cant tell I eat the same 4 or 5 things everyday... I want to eat better but I can eat things that are mixed with other things or are not offered plain. I do have maybe once a week a burger from the DFAC inplace of Chicken, some days I get baked chicken tenders or nuggets with I am just tired of chicken breast. every other week they may offer turkey...

So essientially I live off of chicken breast, rice, pasta, potatoes all plain, eggs, toast, cereal, tater tots, french fries and the occasional hamburger, turkey or roast beef sandwich. I drink atleast a gallon of water a day and have OJ with my meals...

I feel as I am going on and on but I just want to know why avoiding bad food and eating as healthy as I can make myself eat.. Working out 5-6 days a week, lifting and doing cardio I went from 228 lbs when I got here in April 5th.. on Aug 5th I was down to 194... but now Sept 3rd I am still at 195. If my diet, or lack of ability to make myself eat "better" foods the reason I can not lose anymore weight... When I got here I was out of shape.. and I wanted to get down to 180-185 by October... I just dont see myself losing 10-15 lbs in a month after not losing any weight in the last month.

http://bodyspace.bodybuilding.com/pe...niper/78289751
http://bodyspace.bodybuilding.com/pe...niper/78289931
http://bodyspace.bodybuilding.com/pe...niper/78290031

Can I clarify something? What advice are you looking for? Have you ever been diagnosed with any type of eating disorder? It seems like you are looking for nutrition advice in general and this post would be best in the nutrition forum to get advice on your diet.

[twoTtwosniper]

I guess looking for advice on nutrition as well as ways others have been able to find ways to eat healthy foods and be able to beat my texture/gag issues

[Avonji]

Hey everyone, simple question here: how do I stop counting calories/macros and just eat intuitively? I've been doing it for years now. So how do I stop? It's like my whole life revolves around food. It sucks.

[BGoodman88]

Hey everyone, simple question here: how do I stop counting calories/macros and just eat intuitively? I've been doing it for years now. So how do I stop? It's like my whole life revolves around food. It sucks.

Here's what I do:
In stead of eating and immediately tracking, I eat my regular meals throughout the day (breakfast, lunch, diner) and at night I enter everything I ate in my spreadsheet. I then check if I have reached my macros already or if I need to eat something extra. When I ate too much during the day, I eat a bit less the day after. This means I hardly ever weigh food but just eyeball (after years of tracking, you should be able to do this) and I spend maybe 5 minutes a day actually tracking.

This lets me track semi-accurately without much effort.

[Avonji]

@bgoodman Yeah, I enter everything in at the end of the day and don't weigh foods but it still doesn't stop me thinking about the calories and macros I'm eating...

[AddingPins]

@Avonji

Once you have learned about calories and you have been tracking for some time it is very hard to just 'forget' the caloric content of the food you are eating. However, it isn't actually necessary for you to do so in order to eat intuitively. If you are a compulsive tracker and find yourself feeling consumed by it, remove any tracking apps from your phone and you can even deactivate your online accounts. Tracking is not necessary

Wake up each day and listen to what your body is telling you to eat over what your mind is telling you. Eat what you feel for when you are hungry and stop when you are full. You can use what you know about food to help yourself include nutritious choices in your day but try not to let the calories make the choices for you. It is normal to be mentally running over the calories at first but the trick is not to let the math win over your body's cues. If you've eaten and you feel that you really didn't have enough, have some more and vice versa. It is a day by day, meal by meal learning experience and in time the calories or the macros will not dictate your choices. The hardest part is just deciding to take the plunge!

[ShyGuyXS]

@Avonji

For me, that was a tricky thing to negotiate. Stopping the counting/tracking in and of itself was the easy part (I had no access to such apps in treatment) and the first big step to take, but the thoughts and knowledge of how much (generally) I was eating were still there. In the early refeeding stage, it didn't take my mind long to jump to the thoughts of "whoa, too much, stop it now", and I ended up needing more than my mind was telling me I needed.

A good tactic for me was to get involved in something else right after I ate. Even if it was something as simple as drawing or working on a puzzle, it helped take my mind off the eating. Over time, I was better able to concentrate on other things (family visits, daily activities) and the compulsion gradually faded away. It is definitely gradual and not a "quick fix". Take it in steps, and focus on progress. Recovery isn't linear; I've had my share of setbacks, but I have learned to be more proactive and accountable.

Make today (not tomorrow!) a day where you don't add up your macros at all. It's not easy to be comfortable with the idea - I was the same way at first - but it's a good thing to process with whoever you have as your support system.

[applepie1234]

Has anyone had any experience with meditation/mindfulness and eating disorders? Also is binging after restricting due to the body needing to reach its "setpoint" body fat percentage? In other words it is not a lack of willpower?

[AddingPins]

@applepie1234 I would consider the latter subjective. Binges can happen for multiple reasons and it depends on the individual and their circumstance.

In regard to mindful meditation I think that is absolutely beneficial for anyone. Particularly when struggling with an ED we become cut off from ourselves due to all of the whirlwind thoughts that come from the anxiety and fears that fuel the disorder.
For myself, I found that learning techniques in mindfulness helped me find clarity in times of anxiety around food, when I was feeling full or when I was struggling with urges. It helped me learn to look at my feelings and urges as something separate to myself and create a bit of space between myself and the anxiety that I was feeling. That helped me, in time, to dissolve my need to binge and purge. It can definitely be a useful tool.

[DoItForCuddles]

Hello guys, hope this finds everyone well.
I posted here a couple weeks ago. I've been trying to avoid ED related topics so I could 'forget I ever had one'. This didn't happen straight away but I did eventually forget about this thread. I just remembered it and thought I'd drop in.

Mentally, things are going great. Binge urges / cravings went away basically as soon as I started eating junk that I've restricted for so long and realising that it wasn't as good as I remember. I don't feel the need to weigh myself every day anymore. I'm no longer thinking about food 24/7, although it's still on my mind a lot of the time. If I go out drinking with friends I'm no longer fretting about empty calories, protein synthesis, test levels etc

Things aren't so great physically. My weight is stagnant and strength gains are too slow, which means I'm not eating enough. Calorie counting, as much as I hate it, works for consistent weight gain/loss. Now I intuitivley eat I'm full all the time and maintain - sounds great but I'm 5'9 123lbs and want/need to change this. For some reason when I ate a counted 2700 I was hungry all the time and gained a pound a week like clockwork.

I am 100x happier not tracking macros though. To the people talking about it being an ingrained habit, it IS hard to stop but it does get much easier after a couple weeks. I don't think it's bad to be roughly aware of the macros of your meals, as long as you aren't unreasonably restricting or forcefeeding.

[AddingPins]

@DoItForCuddles First of all, well done on how far that you have come in such a short amount of time. For you to say that mentally you are feeling great is huge. A lot of the struggle of this disorder is within so to hear that you are feeling so strong in your recovery is very inspiring!

In regard to weight gain, you don't need to track to create a surplus. Perhaps a lot of your food choices are very filling but not necessarily calorie dense. Try to include things like nuts and dried fruit, juices, cheese, etc which can help you up your intake without adding too much volume to your food intake.

[hope27]

Hello guys, hope this finds everyone well.
I posted here a couple weeks ago. I've been trying to avoid ED related topics so I could 'forget I ever had one'. This didn't happen straight away but I did eventually forget about this thread. I just remembered it and thought I'd drop in.

Mentally, things are going great. Binge urges / cravings went away basically as soon as I started eating junk that I've restricted for so long and realising that it wasn't as good as I remember. I don't feel the need to weigh myself every day anymore. I'm no longer thinking about food 24/7, although it's still on my mind a lot of the time. If I go out drinking with friends I'm no longer fretting about empty calories, protein synthesis, test levels etc

Things aren't so great physically. My weight is stagnant and strength gains are too slow, which means I'm not eating enough. Calorie counting, as much as I hate it, works for consistent weight gain/loss. Now I intuitivley eat I'm full all the time and maintain - sounds great but I'm 5'9 123lbs and want/need to change this. For some reason when I ate a counted 2700 I was hungry all the time and gained a pound a week like clockwork.

I am 100x happier not tracking macros though. To the people talking about it being an ingrained habit, it IS hard to stop but it does get much easier after a couple weeks. I don't think it's bad to be roughly aware of the macros of your meals, as long as you aren't unreasonably restricting or forcefeeding.

This is great to read! For me, it is not avoiding ED topics so I can forget I ever had one, but rather a way to try and give back as people did for me when I was struggling, but we all have to find our path and what works for us. I found for example that ED support groups were triggering to me so I avoided them. This thread doesn't have that affect, but I have a lot of time and distance between my recovery.

I am glad you did take the time to post because it does show people that it is possible to overcome an ED. It is wonderful to hear that mentally you are doing great. That is more than 1/2 the battle. We get so wrapped up in the food aspect, that often the reality that it is merely a symptom of underlying issues is a foreign concept. If you can get to a place where you are mentally feeling great, than you have made huge strides and everything else tends to fall into place. It is wonderful to hear you are feeling strong in your recovery.

I am not sure how much time it has been, but one thing I will say in regards to how you are feeling physically is it does take time. I would remind yourself to be kind to yourself and patient. I sense some frustration. I am a firm believer if not weighing myself or counting calories or macros. I think those are positives. You will get to where you want to be, and AddingPins offered advice that I don't feel the need to duplicate. My words of wisdom are just be kind to yourself and patient.