ALCOHOLICS: RECOVERY & FITNESS (Serious Only Please)

[AndroShock]

Mutt and anyone else that wants to listen. I was in your position just 2 1/2 years ago. When I stepped into detox, then rehab, I was so scared, confused and depressed. You see after over 7 years, I decided to drink again. There are very few guarentees in life but here are two. If you continue to drink/use it never gets better, only worse. GUARENTEED, NO EXCEPTIONS. The other one is that you never have to pick up again from this day forward provided you do certain things. Have you ever had the flu for a long time and you were miserable? Then one day you started feeling better, and even better the next. In you mind it was like, what a relief, its finally over. This is what today is and how you should approach it. Be strong. In the future you will look back at the early days of recovery and say, that was not so bad and didn't last as long as I thought. Especially when you really experience the freedoms of addiction.

[criminal4889]

what a shtty fkin week

we had this week long ceremony at my school, and so it started last monday

people came to my house and played drinking games, i did not drink for a while, and then bam an hour or so into it i started because i wanted to loosen up in front of the girls there

since everyone else had a head start i ended up bein ok, and the entire night i was fine

the next event was a couple days later, i drank about 5 beers and was fine

the last event was this dance, started drinking at 4 in the afternoon, and the thing went til about 1

this is where i had a problem i was alright up until around 9 oclock then i started blackin out, vaguely remember one or two things after that and then woke up in my room with not a single fukin clue what i had gotten into

i left immediately without talkin to anyone, and havent spoken with any of them in 5 days
i am absolutely terrified of some things i may have said to a couple girls, and dont plan on speaking to any of these people ever again and i am back to square one

this has happend soo many times before, a lot of the time ill think something happend when it is all in my head

for example i had it played in my head before this week started that i had broken ties with this entire group of people due to the last time i was drunk, only to find out i hadnt even been with them that night

the blackout paranoia is just killing me, so many times i envision the worst of the worst happening and it ends up just being all in my head, i dont even know if i wanna know if what i think i said actually happened

those somewhat fun times i had earlier in the week are far outweighed by this feeling i have right now

[Twineagles]

Hey Crim, we have all been there and the blackouts are where you can really ruin your life because one mistake and its all over. Think about trying the program. A lot of people got clean and sober when they were young, before anything really bad happened to them. You've got an entire life ahead of you.

[boathead]

WEll it has been determined I am going into a in paient program for 28 days then a half way house for sure. I am so scared of it all that I am panicky big time and thinking a lot of dumd thoughts.

try and change your perspective. it is an opportunity to be safe, and to worry about nothing but you and your addiction. it is a rare chance, so be excited about it. embrace it. i absolutely loved re-hab. it was my new beginning.

and, you never have to do it again. (unless of course you choose to.)

[GreenWave1]

what a shtty fkin week

Hey Crim, we have all been there and the blackouts are where you can really ruin your life because one mistake and its all over. Think about trying the program. A lot of people got clean and sober when they were young, before anything really bad happened to them. You've got an entire life ahead of you.

I remember talking to a friend of mine when I was finishing up college. I hadn't seen him since high school and we were having lunch. He told me he was an alcoholic and was working the steps. He said he knew he had a problem when he woke up one Saturday morning. He was hung over and decided to put on the news and do a couple of bong hits. He's getting stoned and see's a report about a hit and run the night before. They gave the make/model/plate and it was his car. My friend didn't remember a thing. He was lucky. The guy he hit lived.

So Crim, I ask you, do you want to wake up one morning and find out that a blackout went bad? Or do you want to recognize that repeated blackouts are a problem and deal with it before you have a life changing event?

How low is your bottom?

[remedy444]

Wow, didnt realize a thread like this existed on this forum. I was thinking about starting a thread in the Misc. and titling it "Friends of Bill W" and see who showed up. Haha. Anyways, pretty cool. Ive been in and out of AA for the past 4 years or so. Got a lil over 9 months sober right now and life is incredible. My relationship with God is awesome and He carries me thru the difficult times. The program works and has been a tremendous blessing in my life.

I had never worked out, lifted or anything before this period of sobriety. At about 3 months sober I got outta an inpatient treatment center in South Florida and started running and lifting weights. Dropped about 35 pounds and am healthier than ever. The foundation of my sobriety is my relationship with God, but working out and caring about my health and well being has played an important role as well.

Pretty cool that people are on here letting everyone know where they are at and getting honest about recent relapses and stuff. If you are still breathing there is hope. No matter how deep and dark the hole that you are in, there is a way out. Even when it doesnt feel that there is.

Anyways, on my way to a mtg...making the coffee tonight and setting up! haha. We cant keep what we have unless we give it away. Its true.

[GreenWave1]

Wow, didnt realize a thread like this existed on this forum. I was thinking about starting a thread in the Misc. and titling it "Friends of Bill W" and see who showed up. Haha. Anyways, pretty cool. Ive been in and out of AA for the past 4 years or so. Got a lil over 9 months sober right now and life is incredible. My relationship with God is awesome and He carries me thru the difficult times. The program works and has been a tremendous blessing in my life.

I had never worked out, lifted or anything before this period of sobriety. At about 3 months sober I got outta an inpatient treatment center in South Florida and started running and lifting weights. Dropped about 35 pounds and am healthier than ever. The foundation of my sobriety is my relationship with God, but working out and caring about my health and well being has played an important role as well.

Pretty cool that people are on here letting everyone know where they are at and getting honest about recent relapses and stuff. If you are still breathing there is hope. No matter how deep and dark the hole that you are in, there is a way out. Even when it doesnt feel that there is.

Anyways, on my way to a mtg...making the coffee tonight and setting up! haha. We cant keep what we have unless we give it away. Its true.

Congrats on your sobriety and welcome to the thread. Please return and share your experiences. There are many who can benefit from what you have accomplished.

[Meatpants]

what a shtty fkin week

we had this week long ceremony at my school, and so it started last monday

people came to my house and played drinking games, i did not drink for a while, and then bam an hour or so into it i started because i wanted to loosen up in front of the girls there

since everyone else had a head start i ended up bein ok, and the entire night i was fine

the next event was a couple days later, i drank about 5 beers and was fine

the last event was this dance, started drinking at 4 in the afternoon, and the thing went til about 1

this is where i had a problem i was alright up until around 9 oclock then i started blackin out, vaguely remember one or two things after that and then woke up in my room with not a single fukin clue what i had gotten into

i left immediately without talkin to anyone, and havent spoken with any of them in 5 days
i am absolutely terrified of some things i may have said to a couple girls, and dont plan on speaking to any of these people ever again and i am back to square one

this has happend soo many times before, a lot of the time ill think something happend when it is all in my head

for example i had it played in my head before this week started that i had broken ties with this entire group of people due to the last time i was drunk, only to find out i hadnt even been with them that night

the blackout paranoia is just killing me, so many times i envision the worst of the worst happening and it ends up just being all in my head, i dont even know if i wanna know if what i think i said actually happened

those somewhat fun times i had earlier in the week are far outweighed by this feeling i have right now

Sounds like your not ready. Hopefully things don't have to go terribly wrong for you.

If sh!t can get worse, it usually does.

Wow, didnt realize a thread like this existed on this forum. I was thinking about starting a thread in the Misc. and titling it "Friends of Bill W" and see who showed up. Haha. Anyways, pretty cool. Ive been in and out of AA for the past 4 years or so. Got a lil over 9 months sober right now and life is incredible. My relationship with God is awesome and He carries me thru the difficult times. The program works and has been a tremendous blessing in my life.

I had never worked out, lifted or anything before this period of sobriety. At about 3 months sober I got outta an inpatient treatment center in South Florida and started running and lifting weights. Dropped about 35 pounds and am healthier than ever. The foundation of my sobriety is my relationship with God, but working out and caring about my health and well being has played an important role as well.

Pretty cool that people are on here letting everyone know where they are at and getting honest about recent relapses and stuff. If you are still breathing there is hope. No matter how deep and dark the hole that you are in, there is a way out. Even when it doesnt feel that there is.

Anyways, on my way to a mtg...making the coffee tonight and setting up! haha. We cant keep what we have unless we give it away. Its true.

Welcome, and congrats.

Keep it up. It only gets better.

[GirLInterrupted]

Well, I think I owe ya'll my deal here. I fell off the wagon. I'm torn as to how I feel about this. I do not drink during the week. I can sometimes go months without drinking, but I do tend to over do it when I do drink. I get very drunk off of very little. I have a lot of food allergies, one is a sulfite allergy which makes it even worse when I drink.

I don't know that I'm ready. I'm very shy in social situations and would think I would just be a total wall flower if I didn't have a cocktail or two at a party or out to dinner with friends. Forget client type meetings, I just don't do them. I would never drink in a professional situation, but so shy otherwise. Double edged sword I guess.

Well, I just thought I would pop my head in. I hate to be one of those people that asked for help and then let people down. I even let down my BIL, he took me to a meeting a few weeks back. I just did not feel like it was for me at all. I couldn't relate to a lot. I don't know. Confused and torn over here

[Meatpants]

Well, I think I owe ya'll my deal here. I fell off the wagon. I'm torn as to how I feel about this. I do not drink during the week. I can sometimes go months without drinking, but I do tend to over do it when I do drink. I get very drunk off of very little. I have a lot of food allergies, one is a sulfite allergy which makes it even worse when I drink.

I don't know that I'm ready. I'm very shy in social situations and would think I would just be a total wall flower if I didn't have a cocktail or two at a party or out to dinner with friends. Forget client type meetings, I just don't do them. I would never drink in a professional situation, but so shy otherwise. Double edged sword I guess.

Well, I just thought I would pop my head in. I hate to be one of those people that asked for help and then let people down. I even let down my BIL, he took me to a meeting a few weeks back. I just did not feel like it was for me at all. I couldn't relate to a lot. I don't know. Confused and torn over here

It's not us you owe, its yourself, Emma. When your ready, your ready. Have you checked out any meetings?

I hope everything works out for you.

[vindex1963]

Checking in. I haven't been around in a while and see a lot has happened. Some good, some bad and some hopeful.
I've been pursuing my higher power (photography). keeps my mind very busy, gets me out hiking and inspires me to be creative. Sitting at home starring at a wall is dangerous for me so I must keep busy. I have to stay sober today and this hobby helps with that.

[chodan9]

GirlInterupted
Dont stress about letting us down, we have been around for a while and have seen a lot of new comers facing the same things your facing.
Just because you cant relate to all of it doesn't mean it isn't for you.
I got clean and sober at the age of 24, when I went to meetings then I guarantee that their was a lot of things I couldn't relate to. Guys talking about drinking for 40+ years, people ending up homeless all kinds of stuff I had never gone through.
Try this (it helped me) next time you go try to relate to the way the people sharing felt, not the events or circumstances. Focus on what they were feeling when they hit their bottoms, relate to their insecurities and fears about getting sober.
If we go to meetings looking for things that make us different we will always find them, but if we go looking for reasons to stay, well we can always find them also.

[cowboybiker]

Just checking in.
There seems to have been a lot going on. The first step is admiting that we are powerless over our addiction and that our lives have become unmanagable.
Simply put, that if we could control our addiction we wouldnt need to be here. I for one did NOT get this the first time, or the second time and I lost count of how many times I tryed.
But the important thing is that I never gave up. I came to the realization that it had to be done by me and for me. I had alot of trial and error to get there, but so far I am still on the road to recovery. I've got a few years under my belt but it all begins and ends with today.
So just for today I dont pick up, I dont drink, And I dont harm myself or others.
Temptation will come. And I dont ponder on it. its like this, if a bird lands on your head, its not your fault, but if you let it build a nest, then its on you. The best advice that I can give is simple.
Go to meetings,dont use inbetween meetings,(that was hard for me) get a sponsor, take the steps(because the recovery elevator is broken) and become of service( because we cant keep it if we dont give it away).
I hope this helps, Keep coming back. We dont shoot our wounded here.

[wolfpack7483]

^^^this.
I also sobered up @24 and didn't relate to a lot at first. There were a lot of "yet's" I hadn't experienced at that point. I didn't see how I belonged. I never wrecked a car, never got a DUI (though I got pulled over and let go many many times-it was the 80's and cops were alot slacker then), never hurt anyone that I knew of...But my life was spiraling down fast. I crossed a lot of bottom lines and did things I said I'd never do because of alcohol/drugs or to get alcohol/drugs.
I never would've stayed sober if I did it for anyone else. I'm selfish about my program in that I'm willing to do whatever it takes to stay sober. I try to be generous with it, too, because I have to give it away to keep it. To those of you struggling to get sober or questioning if it's for you, I hope you find your way, but you have to do it for you. We're glad you're here, either way. And do keep coming back!!! I'm very grateful for this thread and all of you who are 12th stepping here!

[GNC49]

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I am a recovering alcoholic and was hoping to start a discussion with other alcoholics who wuld be interested. Alcoholism is very powerfull and we can use all the help we can get.

I put it in the over 35 section basically because I did'nt know where else to put it. The Misc section is full of, well im not sure what its full of, but I don't think it would have been takin seriously over there. So, here we go....
__________________
MOVED TO OVER 35 MISC

Before AA made lots of mistakes, still paying for some. Now married and having the life I should have had 35 years ago. Hang in there and remember K.I.S.S.

[Twineagles]

Well, I think I owe ya'll my deal here. I fell off the wagon. I'm torn as to how I feel about this. I do not drink during the week. I can sometimes go months without drinking, but I do tend to over do it when I do drink. I get very drunk off of very little. I have a lot of food allergies, one is a sulfite allergy which makes it even worse when I drink.

I don't know that I'm ready. I'm very shy in social situations and would think I would just be a total wall flower if I didn't have a cocktail or two at a party or out to dinner with friends. Forget client type meetings, I just don't do them. I would never drink in a professional situation, but so shy otherwise. Double edged sword I guess.

Well, I just thought I would pop my head in. I hate to be one of those people that asked for help and then let people down. I even let down my BIL, he took me to a meeting a few weeks back. I just did not feel like it was for me at all. I couldn't relate to a lot. I don't know. Confused and torn over here

Emma, it takes a while to become comfortable with yourself clean and sober. It took me almost a year. For me drugs were initially the social lubricant and then became the isolator. Once you get completely clean and sober (and it takes a few months for all the craziness to wash out of your system), go to meetings, work the steps, you will find out how much you like the person you are. I can promise you that from my own experience. Remmber, you only have to do it today. Hang in there.

[mutt7707]

I am scared of the future. 28 days in patient then 6 months in halfway house. Hardly any contact with my sons during this time. AS well as a road block to my going back to school. I need prayers and advice how not to go nuts..

[GirLInterrupted]

I am scared of the future. 28 days in patient then 6 months in halfway house. Hardly any contact with my sons during this time. AS well as a road block to my going back to school. I need prayers and advice how not to go nuts..

I'm really, really pulling for you mutt! You will be in my prayers, as will your family. You are so lucky to get this opportunity to go to a treatment facility. It will only make your relationship with your sons stronger. My husband has lived away for 3 years, one of those years he was in Afghanistan (he's in the army).... His relationship with our kids is very strong, and yours will stay strong too! You are doing the right thing and I think it's inspirational.

[GirLInterrupted]

Thanks to all of you

Just not so sure what I want, I do want to stay connected to this group if that is OK. It's a scary step, and I keep telling myself I don't have a problem. Yet some days I'm convinced that I do. Day by day I reckon. I truly do appreciate the support here, so thank you!

[GreenWave1]

Thanks to all of you

Just not so sure what I want, I do want to stay connected to this group if that is OK. It's a scary step, and I keep telling myself I don't have a problem. Yet some days I'm convinced that I do. Day by day I reckon. I truly do appreciate the support here, so thank you!

You have to figure this out. Why do you think you might have a problem? Make a list for yourself of the negative consequences of drinking. Be honest. Write it all down. Then write the positives.

As for being shy, that really is a separate issue. You can work on being outgoing without alcohol. That is not a reason to continue drinking.

[Forge3]

Sober-aholic reporting in.

[wolfpack7483]

Girl, coming from an AA point of view, the only requirement for membership is a desire to stop drinking--even if that desire comes and goes. Plain and simple. No one gets turned away. Hopefully you'll get the answers you're looking for when you are ready. I think GreenWave1 is right on. Make a list. Find a time to be still with yourself and listen to your heart. I believe everyone arrives at the point of embracing recovery exactly when they're supposed to, otherwise, it wouldn't work. When you're sick and tired of being sick and tired, when you're ready to give sobriety a chance, the fellowship of Alcoholic Anonymous will be there. If you're not happy with your decision, your misery will be refunded. I hope you keep coming back!

[GirLInterrupted]

sure....

each morning (after a night of getting trashed) you can report in and share your feelings with all of us.

most of us need to hear that kind of stuff

ouch
But I hear where your coming from. I hate saying stuff like this because it sounds like an excuse, but I definitely do not drink daily. I never drink on gym and/or work days. Sun-Thur

[GirLInterrupted]

Girl, coming from an AA point of view, the only requirement for membership is a desire to stop drinking--even if that desire comes and goes. Plain and simple. No one gets turned away. Hopefully you'll get the answers you're looking for when you are ready. I think GreenWave1 is right on. Make a list. Find a time to be still with yourself and listen to your heart. I believe everyone arrives at the point of embracing recovery exactly when they're supposed to, otherwise, it wouldn't work. When you're sick and tired of being sick and tired, when you're ready to give sobriety a chance, the fellowship of Alcoholic Anonymous will be there. If you're not happy with your decision, your misery will be refunded. I hope you keep coming back!

I will do this... right now the list is pretty even. Probably know why that is. But like you guys said, sit in quiet and really think about it.

[cowboybiker]

Like I said, All you have is today.
Yesterday is history,
Tomorrow is a mystery.
Today is a Gift, Thats why the call it the Present.




Yea I know, Im starting to sound like an N.A. bumper sticker

[vindex1963]

I am scared of the future. 28 days in patient then 6 months in halfway house. Hardly any contact with my sons during this time. AS well as a road block to my going back to school. I need prayers and advice how not to go nuts..

You are doing the right thing. You should be scared of your future if you don't go.
You have proven you can't do it on your own. Let the people trained to help do their
job.

Give yourself a chance and don't sabotage it. Drunks are good at that.

[relivin]

Thanks to all of you

Just not so sure what I want, I do want to stay connected to this group if that is OK. It's a scary step, and I keep telling myself I don't have a problem. Yet some days I'm convinced that I do. Day by day I reckon. I truly do appreciate the support here, so thank you!

Please stay connected, thats whats great about this thread. You'll always get the right infromation from the regulars. They are loving, caring, people that know what they are talking about. Unlike some of the other forums at bb.com, people don't always don't get the right infromation on health and fitness, but on this thread, you do. The regulars and the other recovering people that pop in, know your life depends on it and will not lie.

[FATA55]

failure reporting for duty..
some days I feel like its genetics.

[Meatpants]

ouch
But I hear where your coming from. I hate saying stuff like this because it sounds like an excuse, but I definitely do not drink daily. I never drink on gym and/or work days. Sun-Thur

I won't speak for OS, but if you can't live without it, and it has that much power over you.......just sayin.

failure reporting for duty..
some days I feel like its genetics.

What happened? What are you going to do differently next time?

[FATA55]

What happened? What are you going to do differently next time?

next time im gonna re-evaluate things...and work harder. I will try and not give in to temptation..